My mother starts hospice today

[DMGO]

I appreciate all the kind words. My mother doesn't understand why she has this hospice nurse hanging around. She keeps saying that she'll eat in a few days, when she feels hungry. Her mind is starting to slip away. Her thinking isn't right. It's a really hard thing to see. She is actually talking about going on a trip to see some family members she hasn't seen in a long time. She doesn't think of herself as old, or even sick.

 

[bbbamI]

I appreciate all the kind words. My mother doesn't understand why she has this hospice nurse hanging around. She keeps saying that she'll eat in a few days, when she feels hungry. Her mind is starting to slip away. Her thinking isn't right. It's a really hard thing to see. She is actually talking about going on a trip to see some family members she hasn't seen in a long time. She doesn't think of herself as old, or even sick.

We went through a similar situation like this with my FIL. We would smile and say things like, "That sounds good, but for now let's rest a while." We said whatever we could to keep him content.

I know....it's hard.

 

[harley]

Both my FIL and MIL died in the past few years, one in a nursing home/hospice situation, the other at home with hospice. I heartily recommend home. And as everyone has said, they are saints.

My only advice is to just be there as much as possible. Personally I think her decision to not undergo tests and procedures is a good one. Both in-laws had a number of things done to them, none of which helped, and which only made them more miserable than they needed to be.

You and your mom will be in my prayers. Take care.

 

[thefed]

my thoughts are with you in this difficult time. stay strong for her sake

 

[DMGO]

Well, Mom passed away today, at around 12 noon. I got the call while I was going home from work, and was going to stop at her place to just sit and talk. The nurse said she was having real bad pain that started late last night, so at least she didn't have to suffer for too long. I went to see her anyway. The police had finished up by the time I got there, and I saw my sister, and the hospice chaplain. I got to sit by my mother one last time, and told her that I love her, and hope that she's at peace now. I want to thank you all for the kind words. Burial is being planned for Friday.

 

[ProspectiveBum]

So sorry for your loss, DMGO. I hope the good folks at the hospice were able to make her last hours as comfortable as possible.

 

[aaronc879]

Sorry for your loss.
Why would the police need to be there?

 

[Dawg52]

So sorry for your loss. Glad she didn't have to suffer long.

 

[vicente solano]

Sad to hear of your Mom passing away. But, why did the poor soul have to suffer in pain at all? Aren´t there enough painkillers and such to prevent it?

 

[Bestwifeever]

Bless her and you. So sorry.

 

[freebird5825]

Losing your mom is one of the toughest things to go through. Your sentence about going to her side was truly beautiful.
I wish you strength and peace.

 

[bbbamI]

I hope your heart will be full of sweet memories.

 

[harley]

My condolences to you and your family. I agree with Vincente about the pain issue, and hope she didn't suffer much. Take care.

 

[crazy connie]

My thoughts are with you. May the sad memories slip away with time and the happy ones stay to comfort you in your loss.

 

[Ronstar]

My condolences, DMGO. My mom passed away under similar circumstances with home hospice care. I think its great that you had some private time with her after she passed.

 

[thefed]

We all are wishing you the best going forward. Remember to celebrate her life rather than drown yourself in sorrow mourning your loss. I know it is easier said than done, but I'm sure there are memories that will always bring a smile to your face. Try reliving those when you feel down.

 

[DMGO]

Here's how it went. My sister and I had hired a hospice nurse to stay with my mom each night, as she needed Depends changing, and just someone to be there. The hospice doctor said she was in stage 1, and didn't require 24 hour care from hospice, and wouldn't provide it at this time. In the morming, my sister came over to let the nurse go home, and my mother had intense pain at that time. But, because she was in stage 1 care, there was no morphine available for her use. That was supposed to arrive in a few days. The hospice doc said that there's no pain, so she still should have about a month. At approximately 12:00 PM, my sister noticed it was very quiet, and went in the room to check on Mom, and thought she was sleeping. On closer look, she wasn't breathing, so she called 911. That's why the police came. This leaves a very bitter taste about hospice care, as they definately dropped the ball, in Mom's case. No one should have to suffer that type of pain.