People saying funny (awkward) things

poorcarver said:
My personal favorite along these lines was when I was walking down the street and a young lady was walking toward me with a tee shirt showing a picture of Einstein in blue on the front and red on the back. I looked at it, looked at the back as she passed and burst out laughing. She stopped dead and said, I wish you would tell me what is so funny about my a**s. Try explaining Doppler shift to a science challenged, mad female. I tried for a minute and quit.
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I love science jokes.

One of my favorites that I have seen on t-shirts is:

Never Trust an Atom, They Make Up Everything.
 
Ha! I have seen men I wanted to ask when the baby was due! (But I didn't).

O2Bfree said:
Yup, there's a lady in my office like that too. She is, I believe, probably too old to be pregnant, which likely deflects many queries from people who don't know her very well.
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Fall of 1969 I was flying through LA and had a layover long enough to dawdle in an airport coffee shop. Was just back from my first Westpac cruise. There was an attractive pregnant waitress who kinda reminded me of a serene Madonna kinda motherhood - it just really grabbed me emotionally (I was 8 months on a naval destroyer and away from US womankind). Told the older waitress filling my cup how beautiful I found the other, pregnant waitress. A bit later the pregnant waitress came over to let me know that she appreciated my comment, but that she was not.pregnant.
I can only imagine the older waitress phrased my awkward statement in a more becoming manner when she relayed it.

Ended up flying up from San Diego at a later time and spending some time with her. This country boy got to meet her brother, visit the Watts Towers, pick up food at a rib joint and eat a meal with her family in Watts. Good to get a small taste of being in a minority.
 
growing_older said:
A new female director started recently, obviously 7-8 months pregnant. Very distinctive body shape. But until someone specifically tells me she's pregnant, I'm not saying anything about it. Good thing, six months later she's still the same distinctive pregnant shape. That's just the shape she is. Not pregnant. Just shaped like it.
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I have a good friend who also has what you might call "a pregnant shape". She's fairly slim, and I think she may have some excessive spinal curvature that causes her to naturally push her stomach forward and her butt back a bit. On top of that, she has a rather severe case of fibroids that makes her stomach look more prominent than usual (they are surprisingly large). She is used to co-workers asking if she's pregnant. It used to bother her, but she now fends them off with a truncated version of what is actually going on. That usually has the dual effect of confusing them and ensuring they don't ask further questions. Some of her co-workers come from other, very family-oriented cultures. Often, their curiosity is genuinely intended to be friendly, and I think some of them don't realize that those sorts of questions to someone you don't know very well can also be considered invasive.
 
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Earlier in this thread I wrote about recognizing fellow skaters from various angles etc..
Well, Chimps one upped me. I have no experience recognizing friends by their bare butts. Chimps are masters of the art.

Chimps can recognise friends with a single glance at their butt | Daily Mail Online

"Chimpanzees can spot their friends just as easily from a glance at their rear end as a look at their face, researchers have found.
Just as faces serve as an epicenter of social information for humans, so too do chimp rears, they claim.
One glance can offer clues to attractiveness and health."
 
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pb4uski said:
My dad had a great response for that... it's a baby elephant.... wanna see the trunk? :D:D
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"But you say that when I can see my own d***, you'll be glad to look at it too."

Shel Silverstein, The Diet Song
 
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Back in college there was a co-ed group of about a dozen of us from the same dorm that became good friends and called ourselves "The Bunch" through our years there. No romance among us, just good platonic friendships.

Early in sophomore year six of us - me, another guy, and four women - were leaving the dorm together to go to a party. For some reason one of the women in the group, lets call here Sally, turned to me and the other guy, thrust her chest out at us, and asked "is my dress too low cut?"

Now, I was startled, and she was well endowed... and before my mind could react in a more discreet manner, my mouth opened up and I blurted out "They look fine to me!"

Fortunately, Sally and the other women found it hilarious, as they had pegged me as more of the shy, quiet type. Word did get around, so one of my nicknames for the rest of my college days was "Mr. Fine"... which, as nicknames go, wasn't really that bad. :LOL:

DW was not part of the 'Bunch', living in another dorm, so I had to explain it to her when we first became friends when she asked "why do these women call you 'Mr. Fine'?"
 
Perfectly reasonable response to an obvious "tease." (What, you were expected to know the exact amount of exposure currently in vogue?) Sounds like it was a fun group.

jollystomper said:
my mouth opened up and I blurted out "They look fine to me!"

"
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ls99 said:
Earlier in this thread I wrote about recognizing fellow skaters from various angles etc..
Well, Chimps one upped me. I have no experience recognizing friends by their bare butts. Chimps are masters of the art...
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Don't you have to have seen their bare butts first before you can recognize them? I would not want to, would you?
 
I was in a maternity ward looking at all the newborns behind the window, and a women (looking very pregnant) comes up to look also. She comments, "aren't they cute?". I answer, "yes, I bet you are excited to have yours!" She points to a baby behind the glass, and playfully comments "That's mine right there". My face turned 3 shades of red. She busted up laughing.
 
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Dave Barry has a rule:

Don't mention a woman's pregnancy unless you actually see the baby coming out.
 
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