Rewarded for doing a good deed (NOT)

[NW-Bound]

The neighbors are a nice older couple...

We are being good neighbors, and friends with them...

Cousin told me recently that our neighbor friends haven't paid him for the material. We are both thinking WTH. I talked with the neighbor lady last weekend about something else, and she handed me a check for half of what she owed my cousin. She is holding back full payment until the shed is 100% completed.

I don't know what I would do if I were in your shoes. But these people don't seem to be nice people. However it ends, I would not be talking to them after this.

 

[Sunset]

The OP cannot simply walk away, as the OP & Cousin are still out 1/2 the material cost.

While this would piss me off, the rational thing is to re-explain in writing to these people that they owe for the material, and there was no charge for the labor, and they have the material.

If they don't cough up the money, then next summer finish the work, get the 1/2 material cost, and then give them a bill for the labor done next summer as the free labor was only for 1 summer, not forever.

<edit> removed lien thought, as could just end up causing lots of legal wrangling which usually costs $$$

 

[NW-Bound]

Is the shed movable? If it is, I would tell them to forget it, and pull the shed over the property line and enjoy having two sheds.

Or if the material cost is not too much (a few $K?), I would demolish it and build a bonfire.

PS. I would do that after tearing up their 1/2 check and throwing it at their feet.

 

[strobot]

I guess I don't understand this way of thinking. How can it possibly matter how upset a person would get if a friend, neighbor, acquaintance, someone you know or a total stranger tries to short change you on something? I guess I would be more aggravated if I knew them.

With a family member or close friend you can expect a level of trust over a verbal contract. You can also talk more freely about how you are feeling. With someone you don't know...well....what OP describes tends to happen. More often than not being the "nice neighbor" will leave you with the short end of the stick and feeling taken advantage of. If you knew them well and trusted them you would feel completely taken advantage of, and rightfully more upset.

I lend my neighbors things all the time, and I suppose it is just the cynic in me but I fully expect those things to not be taken care of. With that expectation in mind I am less shocked/upset when/if damage is done to my things. C'mon, anyone with neighbors has been here before...

All I'm saying is that there should be a level of expectation from OP's point of view before getting into this ordeal. OP is a valiant individual and I would love to have them as a neighbor - but OP shouldn't be shocked when it turns out Susie next door has a different interpretation of their verbal contract than OP did. You just have to chalk it up to lessons learned.

 

[FIREd]

I would finish the job and get paid. Then I would remain cordial but distant with them as no good ever comes from bitter disputes with neighbors.

I built a bocci court for a friend recently. I offered to do the work for free, but I let her buy the materials herself. You can be friend with someone for years and discover a whole new (often unpleasant) side of their personality when money gets involved.

 

[RobbieB]

Yup, lessons learned and people to write off. So many people in the world, no shortage at all. No need to waste any more time on users.

 

[JP.mpls]

FireD,
You are describing my plan. Possibly a little stoic.

I didn't mention that my cabin is in a cooperative, and these neighbors are part of that cooperative.

Her husband, son, son's family and her have been very nice to us for 8 years. She isn't a complete stranger.

I am disappointed in her behavior. I obviously thought we were better friends than this.
I don't want a cloud of bad feelings over a retaliation move.

There is already a big feud going on in the neighborhood over shared utilities. One newer owner decided that the rules don't apply to him. Got his lawyer involved, ugh. A big mess. It was fun to show neighbors could be nice too.

JP

I would finish the job and get paid. Then I would remain cordial but distant with them as no good ever comes from bitter disputes with neighbors.

I built a bocci court for a friend recently. I offered to do the work for free, but I let her buy the materials herself. You can be friend with someone for years and discover a whole new (often unpleasant) side of their personality when money gets involved.

 

[Amethyst]

Is it possible your neighbors (it's not just the woman, right? There's a husband, too?) are having trouble coming up with the money, and this is their way of hiding it?

 

[Marita40]

What was the famous line from Ann Landers (or her sister?): No one can take advantage of you unless you let them.

I would speak to them as others have stated above, pointing out your generosity and asking again for full payment. If the answer is no, hand them back their check and state the deal is off and claim the shed yourself. I see nothing unfair with this. No yelling or angry words need to be said: just fair is fair, here are your two options. Done and out of mind.

The "out of mind" factor is important. Don't let this linger into ongoing work and the resentment that will inevitably come with it. It will only hurt YOU. Not worth your time or mental health IMO.

 

[street]

Is the shed movable? If it is, I would tell them to forget it, and pull the shed over the property line and enjoy having two sheds.

Or if the material cost is not too much (a few $K?), I would demolish it and build a bonfire.

PS. I would do that after tearing up their 1/2 check and throwing it at their feet.

This ^ I would be diplomatic about the issue thou. If is your building move it, give them a time line then pull, push, drag, burn but get it off of their land.

 

[Dash man]

FireD,
You are describing my plan. Possibly a little stoic.

I didn't mention that my cabin is in a cooperative, and these neighbors are part of that cooperative.

Her husband, son, son's family and her have been very nice to us for 8 years. She isn't a complete stranger.

I am disappointed in her behavior. I obviously thought we were better friends than this.
I don't want a cloud of bad feelings over a retaliation move.

There is already a big feud going on in the neighborhood over shared utilities. One newer owner decided that the rules don't apply to him. Got his lawyer involved, ugh. A big mess. It was fun to show neighbors could be nice too.

JP

No good will come from retaliatory responses. Be the better person and finish the project as promised. You’re a good, generous man. She will view any retaliation as justification for her not paying. You will just be aggravated by the whole thing for a long time. Keep the peace. She will likely pay in the spring.

 

[Aerides]

Finish the work, move on. Life happens. Sometimes we learn lessons, that's all.

Yeah, I'd take this approach. OP it's not clear exactly what transpired in the actual conversations and agreements/understandings (not doubting you, but it sounds like you were reasonably casual on the deal, but the neighbors weren't, and now time has passed, dimming their memories more than yours most likely.)

Aside from all of that, your offer to them initially was incredibly generous, and I hope the joy you and your construction partner had on the work won't be overshadowed by the mix up now towards the end.

 

[CRLLS]

I would finish the job and get paid. Then I would remain cordial but distant with them as no good ever comes from bitter disputes with neighbors.

I built a bocci court for a friend recently. I offered to do the work for free, but I let her buy the materials herself. You can be friend with someone for years and discover a whole new (often unpleasant) side of their personality when money gets involved.

^+10

The offer by you and your cousin show you are both standup guys and good neighbors. Kudos to you both. If I were her, I would have paid for the materials as they showed up on the property. I probably would have walked over immediately and paid for it on the spot. But I'm not her.

If I were you, I would stand tall and finish the work in the Spring in the best workmanship I could. I am a man of my word. Then I'd mail her a bill for the remaining amount. Just because she is acting like an a__h__e, doesn't mean that I would lower myself to her level. But I'm not you. You have to figure out how you can live with yourself afterwards.

FWIW, I almost never do any work for friends, relatives or neighbors that do not work elbow to elbow with me. I will help them all day long but will not do their work alone. Too much chance for bad feelings like you are experiencing.

 

[Music Lover]

Some people are being too nice. I would give them a time limit to pay for the material in full, and if they don't then I would move the shed off the property.

 

[JRon]

Unbelievable that this neighbors would treat you like that. You and your friend are good people - don't let the rudeness of this couple next door change you. You have the right idea in finishing the work and be done with it.

 

[ivinsfan]

We are close to the end of cabin season, will all of you be at the cabin again this fall.

If so I would approach her and say I've been thinking you not wanting to pay the cost of materials in full. Is there something about the build you don't like, or do you feel we didn't give you an accurate bill? You've made things awkward between us when all we wanted was to do you a favor. Any idea how many hours the two of you spent on her shed. . Say we spent X hours building this for you and shouldn't need to stand around waiting to get our money back. Neighbor, you do realize we are out of pocket for this money.? Best to be honest..

 

[Moemg]

I would stop all work on their shed but proceed to paint and put in electric at your shed . When she finally asks why her shed is not being finished tell her to pay up .

 

[NW-Bound]

I would stop all work on their shed but proceed to paint and put in electric at your shed . When she finally asks why her shed is not being finished tell her to pay up .

That's the least I would do.

Is there any guarantee that they will pay the remaining bill?

The OP still has to pull out his wallet for paint and electrical parts. I would hate to feel like a sucker in the end.


PS. I would give them one last chance. I would tell them that I need to be paid for the material up to this point. I will show receipts if they have questions.

Then, I would say that they can go buy paint and electrical parts themselves. Being a gentleman, I would keep my words and do the free labor that I promised. And I would finish the job, after which I will keep my distance from them. But no more money out of my pocket.

It's not the money (I would have torn down the shed and not take a dime from them), but the disgust of being taken advantage of, by people I considered my friends, for calling out loud.

 

[youbet]

I didn't mention that my cabin is in a cooperative, and these neighbors are part of that cooperative......

I don't want a cloud of bad feelings over a retaliation move......

There is already a big feud going on in the neighborhood over shared utilities......

JP.....

The above items make me side with your idea of just finishing things in the spring, collecting the other half of the material money and going on with life keeping a cordial but arm's length relationship with these folks. While a more retaliatory approach, as many posters are suggesting, might sound appealing, it would be unlikely to maximize your and your cousin's future enjoyment of the property. In other words, take the lead from your cousin who you said frequently deals with goofy customers.

In trying to understand the the motivation of the older couple to be so suspicious of the project being finished, I wonder........

1. Is their share of the materials approximately the amount that was discussed before the project began? Is it possible that the amount they owe seems shockingly high to them?

2. Did they get a bit of backup explaining the amount? That is, was everything purchased new from a local supplier and receipts are there and handy? Or perhaps did your cousin have some of the materials on hand from other jobs and therefore the costs are less traceable?

3. If you had only built your shed, as first planned, did you require their OK for anything (since you are in a cooperative)? You wanted to build it too close to the lot line? You're trenching electrical across their property? Whatever...... ?

I'm NOT saying there is any justification for their action. I'm just curious as to what might be triggering this older couple to take such a defensive position. Perhaps they are just feeling vulnerable.

 

[Sunset]

....

Is there any guarantee that they will pay the remaining bill?

....
....

Then, I would say that they can go buy paint and electrical parts themselves. Being a gentleman, I would keep my words and do the free labor that I promised. And I would finish the job, after which I will keep my distance from them. But no more money out of my pocket.

...

Good point, they should buy the parts themselves. No use digging a deeper hole of debt that they seem unwilling to pay !

 

[kcowan]

This is an unfortunate result for making assumptions.

When you proposed building them an identical shed, that would have been the time to outline the terms, e.g. pay half of the materials up front and the other half upon completiton of building (not completion of everything).

Without that understanding, you have relied on them to make the same assumptions you had. They are withholding half the payment until the job is completed. That is not unreasonable.

Relax and enjoy your cottage and your neighbors. You are only heading this way once.

 

[RobbieB]

It would be hard for me to relax and enjoy some people that used me. I would scowl at them whenever I saw them and go the other way. No doubt when the job is done they will find that it was not done to their satisfaction and still no dough until it's fixed.

 

[street]

kcowan ^ well, hindsight is always clearer, then then foresight. If they thought there was going to be trouble they wouldn't have offered their time.

I don't like looking back what we should have or shouldn't have but to look ahead and hopefully learned a lesson of life.

 

[pb4uski]

No good will come from retaliatory responses. Be the better person and finish the project as promised. You’re a good, generous man. She will view any retaliation as justification for her not paying. You will just be aggravated by the whole thing for a long time. Keep the peace. She will likely pay in the spring.

The only problem is that if you don't let them know that their behavior is stupid and unacceptable in the circumstances then it validates it and they'll do it again to someone else.... and then if the someone else pushes back then the someone elses is the bad guy. They need to be sent a clear message that their behavior is unacceptable so they don't keep doing it.

While I wouldn't concede to them behavior perhaps you can tell them that you'll finish the job and expect prompt payment once it is completed but that even after prompt payment that this experience means that you are one and done with them.

 

[pb4uski]

....They are withholding half the payment until the job is completed. That is not unreasonable. ...

I totally disagree. The OP's brother fronted the cost of materials expecting to be reimbursed... the materials are "installed" so that part is complete and he deserves to be reimbursed. The only part that is incomplete is what the offered to do for free.