Not the person you directed this to, but I would certainly object to that as an adoptee (I am also, btw, an adoptive parent). I never consented to never knowing who my original identity. I believe that basic identity information is something that I (and others) are entitled to know.
After all the bio-child has rights to their full ancestral medical history, but are denied it, even though it will impact them as much as anyone else in the world.
Let's follow where this leads for a bit. If we say a child has a "right" to know the identity of his/her biological mother (for medical/health reasons), then surely the child's "right" to know the identity of his/her biological father is just as absolute. Why "discriminate" against the mother, giving her a burden that the biological father doesn't have? Can/should we also make disclosure of the father's identity by the mother mandatory? And what is the legal recourse if she demands to keep her own identity and that of the father from disclosure?
There are no absolute rights, every right is a tradeoff with respect to the rights of others. I can understand that some people may believe that the rights of a child to know their medical history are more important than the biological mother's (and father's) right to privacy--on the face of it, that makes sense. But, in this area, the courts have told us already that the mom has very strong privacy rights.
But, I believe that I am entitled to know my own identity. Medical information is, of course, helpful to have. But that doesn't exhaust the need that I had to find out where I came from and who were the ancestors who came before me. As a child I felt like I had simply been plopped down on earth like an alien. I didn't mind being adopted. I minded not knowing where I came from, including the basic information about my identity.
This is a very personal issue, and I have no standing to dispute your feelings on this. But here are
my personal feelings: Like you, I was
also the adoptee in a closed adoption. I never had these feelings of lack of identity. It remains a mystery to me why people give a hoot about their biological ancestors as a means to establish who they are. Who I am today is >far< more the product of the love, care, and hard work of the couple who raised me than of the two folks who provided my genetic material. I know who I am, I am not dependent on knowing anything about my biological lineage to help me with that.
About 6 decades ago, a young lady was in a tough spot with an unwanted pregnancy and few options. She saw that through and made the decision to give her child up to another couple to raise. I know my parents, despite all the headaches I caused them, were grateful for their whole lives that she made that choice, and I was, too. She chose to keep her identity private and I respected that choice. Yes, I would have liked more medical history, but I don't think it is my right. That young lady already gave up quite a bit of her privacy and her life. She owes me, and society, nothing.
I would think most women today would agree to release their name to their biological child, open adoptions are the norm now. But if a woman doesn't want that, I hope we'll respect her wishes and provide no disincentives for what is already a tough and selfless choice.
Just another opinion . . .
