Onward
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
- Joined
- Jul 1, 2009
- Messages
- 1,934
Single here, never married, no kids. I spend most of my time being horny.
Thread for single people
- Thread starter bencasey
- Start date
LOL Onward....It's been awhile since I read a comment here that made me spit out my coffee!
Amethyst
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
- Joined
- Dec 21, 2008
- Messages
- 12,668
HFWR
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Did it ever?
Once. I was flirting with a young lady (I was about 23) at the bar, when she said “I know what you want”, to which I replied “Well then?”
Lewis Clark
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
- Joined
- Aug 2, 2018
- Messages
- 1,023
I regularly attend events that could require driving across town during rush hour traffic. My solution is to find a public library near the event and do most of the driving before the traffic gets heavy. While at the library I can read a book or magazine, or work on my laptop computer. Much less stressful.
I've probably used about 20 different libraries this way over the years.
Souschef
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
I totally agree. I divorced 18 months ago and I reject the "divorced" label. I am single. Period.
NorthNola
Dryer sheet wannabe
I'm single. Divorced in my 20's so I consider myself single- as in not coupled and no kids. Retired from full time work at 58 and am now 60. about 1.5 in investments-no pension and have a flexible part time job at about 35k. I will take SS at 62 more than likely. I travel a lot, have a vacation home, a lot of interests like theater, concerts, mardi gras which is a season full of activities and have a lot of friends. Although the majority are also single, some are coupled. So a lot of my FIRE strategy is more concerned with a balance of spend and save and what might happen as I age like most people but without leaving anything to anyone. Its a very drama free life, which I love!!
gayl
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Happily 'single' since 1988. FIRE and able to do what / when / how I want but 2 living kids & 6 grandkids. Had a step grand but that's over. Except the dog ..... sometimes he curtails my plans.
The words that every married man fears most: "Honey, we need to talk."
It's difficult to find an older person who doesn't want to talk at length about their particular constellation of age-related disabilities / illnesses. This might be a good argument for hanging out with younger folks, but smart younger folks don't want to hear about them. Why shouldn't we older folks let the younger folks have their days in the sun - while they last?
Addressing your question directly, discussing aging in the abstract isn't very interesting (to me). There is a local group trying to make my city more "age-friendly", but they seem to be more smoke than fire. The challenges faced by increasingly weak and vulnerable elderly folks are many and varied; this topic doesn't seem to be easily discussed in general.
tenant13
Full time employment: Posting here.
Single, 56, gay and FIRE'd last year. Or this year? Not sure - this will be the first calendar year I won't work. My calculators say I'd be crazy to work... I'm not interested in other people enough to get into any kind of relationships but that also makes me extremely content in my own company. Call me an introverted extrovert. Or a sociopath (maybe a 4 on the scale of 1 to 10).
I somehow have the ability to retain friends and acquaintances - still a lot of friends from high school, or guys I met through my various jobs and travels. And weirdly enough, ever since I grew a beard I can't say "no" fast enough to all the young people who consider "daddies" hot (ok, I don't always say "no"... ).
I'm originally from Europe (in NY for the last 33 years) and I think I'll eventually move my base there. Probably stay for the summer - maybe Christmas? US is a good country for making money but not so much for just enjoying life. That's just my experience although I can't complain about NY in particualar. So I travel a lot. Last year I went for 3 months to Japan. In March I'm going back to Asia and will move around for 3 months or so. I may go to northern Brazil right after. I'm learning Spanish, motorcycle riding (tough...), going to the gym religiously, cooking healthy meals, having more sex than I actually want (thank you Viagra) and generally being really, really, REALLY happy.
I strongly believe that if you trust your instincts and don't care what anyone around you thinks, you can achieve true balance in your life. I kind of learned it when I was 16 and realized I was gay; I just shrugged it off and moved on. The same thing happened when I found out I was not a relationship material and was destined to be single. In both cases society would have me believe there was something wrong with me - maybe not today but 40 years ago. And in both cases my total indifference to societal norms helped: I was who I was and that was that.
I somehow have the ability to retain friends and acquaintances - still a lot of friends from high school, or guys I met through my various jobs and travels. And weirdly enough, ever since I grew a beard I can't say "no" fast enough to all the young people who consider "daddies" hot (ok, I don't always say "no"... ).
I'm originally from Europe (in NY for the last 33 years) and I think I'll eventually move my base there. Probably stay for the summer - maybe Christmas? US is a good country for making money but not so much for just enjoying life. That's just my experience although I can't complain about NY in particualar. So I travel a lot. Last year I went for 3 months to Japan. In March I'm going back to Asia and will move around for 3 months or so. I may go to northern Brazil right after. I'm learning Spanish, motorcycle riding (tough...), going to the gym religiously, cooking healthy meals, having more sex than I actually want (thank you Viagra) and generally being really, really, REALLY happy.
I strongly believe that if you trust your instincts and don't care what anyone around you thinks, you can achieve true balance in your life. I kind of learned it when I was 16 and realized I was gay; I just shrugged it off and moved on. The same thing happened when I found out I was not a relationship material and was destined to be single. In both cases society would have me believe there was something wrong with me - maybe not today but 40 years ago. And in both cases my total indifference to societal norms helped: I was who I was and that was that.
Elizrogers
Recycles dryer sheets
I married in 1970 (age 19), divorced 1971 (age 20), legally took back my maiden name, though had hardly changed anything to married name anyway. So, definitely consider myself single and have put that on any documents since. There is almost nothing documenting the marriage anywhere.
I never planned to retire. I wanted to work until I couldn't walk or maybe until I couldn't remember my name any longer. I loved working and feeling needed and productive. However, in 2018, in preparation for a merger, my company laid off 2/3 of its employees and I was one. I didn't worry, it wasn't the first time I'd lost a job. I've been through two mergers, a company going bankrupt, and just left a few jobs I really hated. I'd never been more than two weeks without a job, unless I chose to take more time, and always got an offer within 2 or 3 interviews. I have great skills in legal, HR, IT, and project management. So, having to look for a job has never stressed me, or been any problem for me.
I found, however, that it's different when you are 68 years old. Even though anyone will tell you I don't look or act 68, it made a big difference in my job search this time. I got plenty of really good interviews. Obviously, passed them, because I would move on from the phone interview, to the face-to-face lower level management or HR interview, all the way to the executive, where I'd be told I was one of X number of "equally qualified" finalists. Then I wouldn't get the offer. After 45 years of working, over 15 in HR, I pretty much know all the standard interview questions and techniques, but this time I notice that I kept getting asked, in one way or another, "how long do you expect to be with the company?" Which implies I don't plan to stay forever, or that forever isn't going to be long. That is not a question I've heard asked of anyone 30, 40 or even 50 years old, even if they have a busy job history. So, I can only think they are looking at age and thinking I will retire (or die) soon. Most of the interviewers were young enough to be my grandchildren, so I'm sure that's what they thought of when they saw my age, which they would get from a background check (I never show it anywhere).
After 9 months of actively searching, doing well on any tests and having great feedback from interviews, I simply wouldn't get the job. I finally got tired and decided to give up. I probably would have gotten a job eventually, but I didn't want to get one because no one (or younger) was available, or a job that was less than what I was capable of and worth. So, I chose to retire.
I built this house 30 years ago to move my parents in with me. I am an only child and they both were getting older and had medical issues, and could not drive any longer. I live in Texas, they were in Oregon and I just couldn't take off and go up there to see about them every time something happened. My mother has always been my best friend anyway, and we have lots of fun together. So, they were my family and my sense of purpose outside the job. I loved caring for them and making life better for them, and they loved the new house, warmer climate and friends they made here. I expected to have my mother around another 20 years, as she was exactly 20 years older than me, and my grandfather had lived to 83. They passed away in 1999 & 2000 respectively (Mom had only been 70 for 4 days) and I was left with just the cat and a 4 bedroom home. While I was working it was not so bad, but since I've been retired, the house seems way too big, too cluttered and too full of memories. I'd like to build a smaller house, but cannot find a lot I can afford. Most lots I've seen within 50 miles of here, cost as much as my whole house and property is worth just for the land. I try to keep busy, by volunteering to run the office at my church one day a week, since we cannot afford to pay the secretary for 5 days a week anymore, teaching an ESL class one night a week and I keep in touch with many old co-workers and friends who are also retired and try to get together for lunch with each of them a couple times a month. I have always had a cat, but now have 3, due to a friend taking 2 kittens and then not being able to care for them. Three is more work to feed and keep litter boxes cleaned, but also a lot more expensive to board, so I don't go anywhere overnight.
I only had about $200K in retirement funds, because I hadn't planned to retire for many more years and I traveled and enjoyed my life while I was young, not worrying so much about retirement. I took SS at age 66 and was putting all of it into my 401K, and planned to continue that for at least another 10 years, before the lay off changed my plans. I try to live of the SS now, and take enough out of my retirement funds to pay things like property taxes, insurances, and mortgage, or if an unplanned emergency comes up.
The unfortunate thing is that after having no reason to get up early in the morning and not a lot that I have to do every day and no one holding me accountable for anything, I have developed very bad habits. I stay up late, sleep in till 7am, sit around most of the morning, watch way too much TV and basically have no motivation or energy anymore. I have grown accustomed to not having to dress, do hair and makeup, or go anywhere every day, so don't think I could take a full-time job now if one came along. I lack to discipline to be dependable. I like doing what I want, when I want, and answering to no one.
Being an only child, I have no siblings and thus no nieces or nephews. I only have one living first cousin, but she lives in another state and while we communicate regularly, I've not seen her in years. So, holidays are no longer special, as it's just another day for me and the cats. If my cousin outlives me, she is my beneficiary, but I have no alternate if she should go first.
One of the problems of being single, is that most of my friends have children and grandchildren, so they are busy all the time and it's difficult to find anyone to do things with when I do have the time or money. I would like to be able to afford to travel more, as many of my best friends live out of state, but I worry about outliving my money, so don't want to spend excessively. I am lucky to be able to make ends meet and should do okay for at least 20 years if I continue to be conservative. After that I can always get a reverse mortgage and be okay for another 20 years. I have many older friends who are still working because they cannot afford to retire, but they would like to. So, I am grateful that I can, but I'm still struggling with the fact that I have no purpose and could die in my sleep and maybe not be found for weeks.
Overall it's a good news/bad news, or the best of times/worst of times, kind of thing. Love not having to deal with the politics and people pleasing of the office every day, but miss having a reason to get up in the morning and feel I'm needed by someone other than the cats. Wish I knew more people who didn't have so many family obligations and could hang with me more. I do a lot of things on my own and enjoy most of it, but the really special things, not every day errands, just aren't enjoyable alone. Who wants to go to the movies, a nice restaurant, or the State Fair by yourself? And I really don't want to drag someone's grandkids along with us.
I expected my father to die even before he did, as he had many medical issues, but my mother had been healthier than me her whole life, until she got non-hodgkins lymphoma and then it was just over by the time it was discovered. Had I known I'd be this alone, for this long, I think I might have gotten married. I was engaged 5 times after my divorce, but always found a reason to break it off, and my parents were always there for consolation. And I didn't think I'd live this long. Most of you are not as old as me, but I remember when I thought 50 was old and I had to get everything done before then. If I'd only known....
I never planned to retire. I wanted to work until I couldn't walk or maybe until I couldn't remember my name any longer. I loved working and feeling needed and productive. However, in 2018, in preparation for a merger, my company laid off 2/3 of its employees and I was one. I didn't worry, it wasn't the first time I'd lost a job. I've been through two mergers, a company going bankrupt, and just left a few jobs I really hated. I'd never been more than two weeks without a job, unless I chose to take more time, and always got an offer within 2 or 3 interviews. I have great skills in legal, HR, IT, and project management. So, having to look for a job has never stressed me, or been any problem for me.
I found, however, that it's different when you are 68 years old. Even though anyone will tell you I don't look or act 68, it made a big difference in my job search this time. I got plenty of really good interviews. Obviously, passed them, because I would move on from the phone interview, to the face-to-face lower level management or HR interview, all the way to the executive, where I'd be told I was one of X number of "equally qualified" finalists. Then I wouldn't get the offer. After 45 years of working, over 15 in HR, I pretty much know all the standard interview questions and techniques, but this time I notice that I kept getting asked, in one way or another, "how long do you expect to be with the company?" Which implies I don't plan to stay forever, or that forever isn't going to be long. That is not a question I've heard asked of anyone 30, 40 or even 50 years old, even if they have a busy job history. So, I can only think they are looking at age and thinking I will retire (or die) soon. Most of the interviewers were young enough to be my grandchildren, so I'm sure that's what they thought of when they saw my age, which they would get from a background check (I never show it anywhere).
After 9 months of actively searching, doing well on any tests and having great feedback from interviews, I simply wouldn't get the job. I finally got tired and decided to give up. I probably would have gotten a job eventually, but I didn't want to get one because no one (or younger) was available, or a job that was less than what I was capable of and worth. So, I chose to retire.
I built this house 30 years ago to move my parents in with me. I am an only child and they both were getting older and had medical issues, and could not drive any longer. I live in Texas, they were in Oregon and I just couldn't take off and go up there to see about them every time something happened. My mother has always been my best friend anyway, and we have lots of fun together. So, they were my family and my sense of purpose outside the job. I loved caring for them and making life better for them, and they loved the new house, warmer climate and friends they made here. I expected to have my mother around another 20 years, as she was exactly 20 years older than me, and my grandfather had lived to 83. They passed away in 1999 & 2000 respectively (Mom had only been 70 for 4 days) and I was left with just the cat and a 4 bedroom home. While I was working it was not so bad, but since I've been retired, the house seems way too big, too cluttered and too full of memories. I'd like to build a smaller house, but cannot find a lot I can afford. Most lots I've seen within 50 miles of here, cost as much as my whole house and property is worth just for the land. I try to keep busy, by volunteering to run the office at my church one day a week, since we cannot afford to pay the secretary for 5 days a week anymore, teaching an ESL class one night a week and I keep in touch with many old co-workers and friends who are also retired and try to get together for lunch with each of them a couple times a month. I have always had a cat, but now have 3, due to a friend taking 2 kittens and then not being able to care for them. Three is more work to feed and keep litter boxes cleaned, but also a lot more expensive to board, so I don't go anywhere overnight.
I only had about $200K in retirement funds, because I hadn't planned to retire for many more years and I traveled and enjoyed my life while I was young, not worrying so much about retirement. I took SS at age 66 and was putting all of it into my 401K, and planned to continue that for at least another 10 years, before the lay off changed my plans. I try to live of the SS now, and take enough out of my retirement funds to pay things like property taxes, insurances, and mortgage, or if an unplanned emergency comes up.
The unfortunate thing is that after having no reason to get up early in the morning and not a lot that I have to do every day and no one holding me accountable for anything, I have developed very bad habits. I stay up late, sleep in till 7am, sit around most of the morning, watch way too much TV and basically have no motivation or energy anymore. I have grown accustomed to not having to dress, do hair and makeup, or go anywhere every day, so don't think I could take a full-time job now if one came along. I lack to discipline to be dependable. I like doing what I want, when I want, and answering to no one.
Being an only child, I have no siblings and thus no nieces or nephews. I only have one living first cousin, but she lives in another state and while we communicate regularly, I've not seen her in years. So, holidays are no longer special, as it's just another day for me and the cats. If my cousin outlives me, she is my beneficiary, but I have no alternate if she should go first.
One of the problems of being single, is that most of my friends have children and grandchildren, so they are busy all the time and it's difficult to find anyone to do things with when I do have the time or money. I would like to be able to afford to travel more, as many of my best friends live out of state, but I worry about outliving my money, so don't want to spend excessively. I am lucky to be able to make ends meet and should do okay for at least 20 years if I continue to be conservative. After that I can always get a reverse mortgage and be okay for another 20 years. I have many older friends who are still working because they cannot afford to retire, but they would like to. So, I am grateful that I can, but I'm still struggling with the fact that I have no purpose and could die in my sleep and maybe not be found for weeks.
Overall it's a good news/bad news, or the best of times/worst of times, kind of thing. Love not having to deal with the politics and people pleasing of the office every day, but miss having a reason to get up in the morning and feel I'm needed by someone other than the cats. Wish I knew more people who didn't have so many family obligations and could hang with me more. I do a lot of things on my own and enjoy most of it, but the really special things, not every day errands, just aren't enjoyable alone. Who wants to go to the movies, a nice restaurant, or the State Fair by yourself? And I really don't want to drag someone's grandkids along with us.
I expected my father to die even before he did, as he had many medical issues, but my mother had been healthier than me her whole life, until she got non-hodgkins lymphoma and then it was just over by the time it was discovered. Had I known I'd be this alone, for this long, I think I might have gotten married. I was engaged 5 times after my divorce, but always found a reason to break it off, and my parents were always there for consolation. And I didn't think I'd live this long. Most of you are not as old as me, but I remember when I thought 50 was old and I had to get everything done before then. If I'd only known....
Amethyst
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
- Joined
- Dec 21, 2008
- Messages
- 12,668
You sound like a really nice person, intelligent and independent. I appreciated your sharing your story, and found the age discrimination part very frustrating.
I will point out that you do have a purpose. Everyone has a purpose, which is to live their life as best they can. The thing is, the person has to feel purposeful. Many ER's feel a purpose in just getting up every day and doing as they please.
People need to justify
Their lives
Lives
Lives
Yes we were born, born
Born to be alive
(Born to be alive)
I will point out that you do have a purpose. Everyone has a purpose, which is to live their life as best they can. The thing is, the person has to feel purposeful. Many ER's feel a purpose in just getting up every day and doing as they please.
People need to justify
Their lives
Lives
Lives
Yes we were born, born
Born to be alive
(Born to be alive)
60 and FIRE'd at 58
I was married 3 years and divorced 20 years ago. So, consider myself single. No kids. I own 9 rental properties that helped me retire and they are really a burden sometimes! So this year plan on selling 3 of them and paying off another 3 or 4. That should help a lot. I'm on ACA which is why I want to sell the houses in 2020. I'll go over $48k MAGI and will pay around $10k for health insurance. Not fun but I can afford it.
I love being retired and am fairly active. Dance, travel, scuba dive, bike, anything. Live in the DC area which is fun albeit hectic and fricken cold in the Winter. So my goal is to get my properties straightened out and travel a whole lot more. Everywhere. My net worth is about 1.8 million. I should have FIRE'd long before this but all good. Still young. Going diving in Philippines this May and looking forward to it.
I agree there is certainly a stigma about being single so long. Lots of people look at you like there's something wrong with you, or you must be some kind of pervert (everyone is a little bit), and some women won't date you because of those things. I just brush those judgemental folks aside and worry about what I want to do next. I actually don't date much because although I love women, it has become a hassle. Still working on that complicated one. Anyhow I can't wait for the next adventure.
I was married 3 years and divorced 20 years ago. So, consider myself single. No kids. I own 9 rental properties that helped me retire and they are really a burden sometimes! So this year plan on selling 3 of them and paying off another 3 or 4. That should help a lot. I'm on ACA which is why I want to sell the houses in 2020. I'll go over $48k MAGI and will pay around $10k for health insurance. Not fun but I can afford it.
I love being retired and am fairly active. Dance, travel, scuba dive, bike, anything. Live in the DC area which is fun albeit hectic and fricken cold in the Winter. So my goal is to get my properties straightened out and travel a whole lot more. Everywhere. My net worth is about 1.8 million. I should have FIRE'd long before this but all good. Still young. Going diving in Philippines this May and looking forward to it.
I agree there is certainly a stigma about being single so long. Lots of people look at you like there's something wrong with you, or you must be some kind of pervert (everyone is a little bit), and some women won't date you because of those things. I just brush those judgemental folks aside and worry about what I want to do next. I actually don't date much because although I love women, it has become a hassle. Still working on that complicated one. Anyhow I can't wait for the next adventure.
tenant13
Full time employment: Posting here.
Thank you for sharing your story. While there is a lot to unpack in your post there are couple of things that made me truly sad. Why would you beat yourself up for going to bed and waking up whenever your body tells you to? How much is "too much" TV? Isn't it exactly the amount you enjoy? We have very different personalities but imo you may need less discipline in your life not more. Perhaps you don't live according to the plan you had but who does?
Which brings me to the other thing you have regrets about: not getting married to alleviate the solitude.
My parents were married for 30 years - not the happiest relationship but it worked on some level - then my dad died at 62 and my mother has been alone ever since. It's been 31 years - more than her marriage lasted. She's 90 now, has a dementia and lives in an old folks home. Alone.
Chuckanut
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
+1
After working for 40+ years I have two purposes in life. They are equal IMHO.
- Enjoy myself.
- Help my kids when possible to have a better life.
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Elizrogers
Recycles dryer sheets
I guess I did make it sound pretty pathetic. Guess that's partly from writing at 2am. I have enjoyed being single most of my life. I've had opportunities not to be, but just never wanted most of what comes with marriage. I like to be alone when I want to be, have trouble sleeping with anyone else in the room, and don't really enjoy cooking and cleaning. I always had many men "friends' who were great when I needed an escort, travel companion or card partner with other couples. Some of my best friends have been men, but I never wanted to live with them or have to pick just one. I have traveled, lived in many states, still am in touch with a dozen friends nationwide that I've known 30+ years. So, single life has been pretty good overall.
The negative though is that most of my male friends eventually married, and even if we had been platonic friends for 20-25 years, their wives made them stop having any communication with me. Also, so many of my friends (female) who married, but stayed close friends, eventually got so busy with kids and grandkids that they slowly became occasional friends you'd get together with once in awhile just to catch up. I used to give parties and 30 people on average showed up. Now, I'm lucky if two couples are free at the same time for lunch or dinner.
Where there were always people to go with you, anywhere anytime, now it's hard to find someone to take you to a medical appointment. I never need anyone to drive me. In fact, I am the person who picks up older people for church activities at night, or who need a ride to doctors. But you all, I'm sure, have had those medical procedures that they will not let you drive yourself home from, no matter how sure you are that you are capable. With no family, it is difficult to find someone to take you, stick around (which is often required), and then take you home, without feeling you being an imposition. With family, that's expected. That's what family does. They're always there.
So, there's been some really good things about being single, but the older I get the more negatives that seem to crop up. Nothing overwhelming so far, but wonder what might happen if I get something like Alzheimer's, or what happens to my cats if I have to stay in a hospital for days, or worse if I die suddenly? No one's going to check on them until they realize I'm gone, which could be awhile.
Anyone else worry about these aging issues as an independent single?
The negative though is that most of my male friends eventually married, and even if we had been platonic friends for 20-25 years, their wives made them stop having any communication with me. Also, so many of my friends (female) who married, but stayed close friends, eventually got so busy with kids and grandkids that they slowly became occasional friends you'd get together with once in awhile just to catch up. I used to give parties and 30 people on average showed up. Now, I'm lucky if two couples are free at the same time for lunch or dinner.
Where there were always people to go with you, anywhere anytime, now it's hard to find someone to take you to a medical appointment. I never need anyone to drive me. In fact, I am the person who picks up older people for church activities at night, or who need a ride to doctors. But you all, I'm sure, have had those medical procedures that they will not let you drive yourself home from, no matter how sure you are that you are capable. With no family, it is difficult to find someone to take you, stick around (which is often required), and then take you home, without feeling you being an imposition. With family, that's expected. That's what family does. They're always there.
So, there's been some really good things about being single, but the older I get the more negatives that seem to crop up. Nothing overwhelming so far, but wonder what might happen if I get something like Alzheimer's, or what happens to my cats if I have to stay in a hospital for days, or worse if I die suddenly? No one's going to check on them until they realize I'm gone, which could be awhile.
Anyone else worry about these aging issues as an independent single?
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Elizrogers
Recycles dryer sheets
Chuckanut, a large part of your purposefulness is being there for your children. That's what I list when my parents passed too soon. You may be unmarried, but it sounds like you have enough family that you aren't really single, (in the sense I got from the initial post), at least not alone. If you only had Enjoying Yourself left, wouldn't you feel less essential and worthwhile? I want to feel I'm contributing to something more than my own pleasure.
I also, want to add, in the Joy Of Being Single column, the lack of drama, stress and trouble many people I know have had to deal with because of children or a spouse. I have been spared a lot of heartache that children can bring. I've also missed the joys, I'm told, children can bring. So, I don't know if one would have outweighed the other, but I'm glad not to be spending my retirement bailing out wayward children and grandchildren.
Look for the silver linings.
I also, want to add, in the Joy Of Being Single column, the lack of drama, stress and trouble many people I know have had to deal with because of children or a spouse. I have been spared a lot of heartache that children can bring. I've also missed the joys, I'm told, children can bring. So, I don't know if one would have outweighed the other, but I'm glad not to be spending my retirement bailing out wayward children and grandchildren.
Look for the silver linings.
tenant13
Full time employment: Posting here.
It seems that quite a few people in this thread do. I may come across as gruesome here but I hope that in 20-30 years institutions like this one: https://expertisecentrumeuthanasie.nl/en/ will be far more common and laws will accommodate people who simply are ready and not just "suffering unbearably". Death is just a part of life - I don't see why wouldn't I be allowed to plan it myself if I so desire.
OAG
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
I assume you did not mean to exclude Widows and Widowers - am I correct?
Mr. Tightwad
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
You are correct I omitted them.
Elizrogers
Recycles dryer sheets
Tenant13, you need to move to Oregon for that. They have allowed euthanasia for years, under certain conditions. I don't see it becoming universal very soon, mostly because of families who don't want to let go. We singles probably have a better chance.
Chuckanut
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
To each his or her own.
I was simply sharing what is working for me. I suspect that if I was childless I would have made different choices after the divorce. It is what works for the individual's situation that counts. One person loves his Tesla, the other person can't imagine buying one. We can all relate to that conflict.
I define single as simply being 'not legally married'. I like simplicity.
As far as not being attached to somebody, that would mean I would have to ignore/avoid/resist all those wonderful talented charming women the world has provided. That is far to much work for me! It seems easier to give in to their charms. I suppose I could dress shabbily, stop brushing my teeth, shower once very 2-3 weeks, use loud profanity when I talk (always about myself, of course), drive a rust bucket 1972 Pinto, and have trash scattered about my home and car. Did I mention shaving only once a week, and wiping my drippy nose with a soiled handkerchief? Those would keep most women away, I would think.
All of the above are just my feelings and thoughts. Take what you need and leave the rest.
misshathaway
Full time employment: Posting here.
- Joined
- Dec 2, 2015
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- 617
Yes! You can plan around many things but I worry about dementia and what happens if I am in a car accident and unconscious in the hospital for a few days. I have an emergency card in my wallet asking whoever finds it to call my landlord and get let in to feed the cat. Fortunately I have almost nothing of value in the apartment other than the cat.
I drive very little but I can see something happening even as a pedestrian. This morning a guy decided to screech make a left-hand turn into a parking lot right when I was in a crosswalk going across the entrance. He stopped about 10 feet from me so it wasn't really a close call but it scared me with "what if" for a good long while. He stayed stopped there with his eyes closed for the whole time I crossed so I wasn't the only one who was scared.
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