I’m 53 and single, no children, but have a girlfriend (I’m actually divorced since 2001 but as others have done, rejected the label). Retired 6 months ago with a modest pension and portfolio that more than cover my expenses. I live alone in a condo near downtown Austin.
The transition to ER has been challenging for some of the same reasons others have mentioned: no family to occupy my time or give me a sense of purpose; I tend toward introversion so getting out and meeting people doesn’t come naturally; I enjoy time alone but often feel that I am isolated.
Still, I am finding ER preferable to work with the exception of the loss of socializing I enjoyed with my coworkers. I have a few good friends in town but most of them work and aren’t available during the week.
I joined a gym a few months ago and that was a really good decision. In addition to improving my fitness and losing weight, going to the gym gives me a purpose and a place to go to break up the day. And it’s walking distance so I get out in the fresh air when the weather is nice. I don’t think I’ve said a single word to anyone since I’ve been there, but just being around other people pursuing the same goals has been fulfilling.
As the OP observes, this forum and many like it are dominated by married couples and the discussions tend to reflect that fact but that’s just reality, not a value judgment. I still find much benefit coming here and posting questions or just reading what others post. (I have come away with the impression that being single carries a fairly high price tag in terms of taxes—all other things being equal, married folks with families tend to be rewarded by the tax code.)
Now that we’re past the holidays and into the new year, I’m hoping to get more involved in activities that will bring me into contact with new people, like volunteering or joining a few groups that interest me. I really feel that I owe it to myself to break out of my little “condo cocoon” and find new opportunities to socialize.
A final note to my rambling post is that since I’ve retired things with my girlfriend have been a little strained. She’s a 45 year old single mother in a demanding professional career that leaves her feeling drained by the end of the day/week, whereas my stress levels have dropped and I’m getting plenty of rest and exercise. I help her as much as I can, and I make myself available when she needs me, but my day-to-day “problems” are now insignificant compared with hers and she rather resents it. Nothing I can do about that, really, except be understanding and supportive and try not to whine about my problems.
It may be that the truly single life will be my future....
And I have many years to go before I get there. I raised the subject because it's a thread for singles, and this may be a common challenge many of us will face.
