Unusual (I suppose) Question

[Vincenzo Corleone]

Twenty years ago, at the beginning of my career, - still inexperienced and very green - due to lucky circumstances of being at the right place at the right time, I had been recruited away from my boring, mundane job by the CTO to work with a team of experienced and talented people, making more money than I ever dreamed.

I gained some great experience during the years I worked there and my finances grew healthily. At some point, the CTO of the company left for another opportunity at another company. At some point, the economy soured - the writing was on the wall where I was at and I knew that my days at this company were probably numbered.

As if he knew my growing tenuous situation, I get a call from this same CTO, who then recruited me onto his team at his new company - again, making more money then I dreamed. Things didn't go quite as well there and after about a year, they had layoffs, of which I was a victim.

Regrettably, being someone who is/was ignorant of social etiquette, I never thanked or made an effort to stay in contact with this guy who gave me these great opportunities and made FIRE for me possible. Over these past 20 years, whenever I thought of this guy, I've grown ever more regretful that I never expressed my gratitude to him. Every time I tell myself that I should send him a gift and note in appreciation, I'd tell myself that it's way too late - too far after the fact.

Am I right? What would you do (assuming you knew how to contact this person)?

 

[Lawrencewendall]

See if he's on Linkedin. Send a private thanks about how much of an impact he had. Thanks goes a long way and doesn't cost anything.

 

[RobbieB]

It's never too late to say I love you.

No wait, yes it is after they're dead.

 

[DenverGuy42]

I had similar experiences. At my first (of only two) jobs, I had the greatest mentor possible. He taught me everything I needed to know not only to be successful - but to be beyond that.

I've tried to touch base with him - he was much older than I and has completely disappeared. I tried to get in touch with my old management team (to thank them for all the opportunities they gave me) to try to touch base with him - to no avail.

Fortunately, for my second mentor, we worked together for many years and stayed in touch until his passing late last year. He knew I appreciated everything he made possible - my early retirement in particular.

You might be able to just plug in his name to google (unless it is jim smith or something similar) and find his location - down to his address. If you find the address (surprisingly easy for most people), you could send him an old fashioned letter.

or as someone else said, look on sites like linkedin, he might be on there...

If you can contact him, he'd almost certainly appreciate it. People drop me a line from time to time to say "thanks" for how I helped them in their careers over time - always made the day a little bit better.

 

[MRG]

Send him a note, that's sincere. He will appreciate the fact you have looked him up after years. I agree social media will be helpful.

I recall a guy who called my DF 20 years later that he'd never heard from. It meant a lot.

 

[Midpack]

I’d make an effort to thank him, it’s the right thing to do - late or not. He might appreciate it, but what’s the downside if he doesn’t. Almost none.

 

[Jerry1]

I agree. Make the effort.

My situation was that a guy (VP) recruited me into the company, where I stayed for 20+ years. During that time, he did a round trip (left and came back). At the end, he helped me get a package as a handshake out the door. As we were making our way to HR for me to get let go I made sure to tell him how thankful I was. Like you, he brought me in at a supervisor level making more money than I thought I'd make by that time in my life and during his time, he promoted me to a director where I made more money than I thought I'd ever make. Not the VP big bucks, but enough to live a great life and retire early to a greater ending. Frankly, I teared up as I shook his hand. It might have meant more to me than him - I'm glad I had that chance.

 

[SecondCor521]

+N on make the effort.

You might find him, you might not, he might appreciate it, he might not. But regardless of how it turns out, you will at least no longer regret or second guess your inaction.

 

[Lewis Clark]

Try to find him, through whatever means you have available. When you find him, send a thoughtful thank you note.

Hand-written notes are usually best if you can get a snail mail address.

 

[Aerides]

+ 1 on making the effort. If you can get an address and send a hand written note that is more thoughtful than a linked in message, IMO.

 

[Sunset]

Agree on sending the note.
I always regret not thanking an old guy for the trust he placed in me, when I was putting together an endeavor.
Even though over the years we occasionally saw each other and enjoyed the times, I never really thanked him for his initial efforts.
By the time I got around to thanking him some years later, he had died.

 

[Vincenzo Corleone]

OK - thanks everybody. I'm doing it.

 

[catii]

Here are some super-powerful tools for finding anyone: https://osintframework.com/

 

[gretah]

This is such a Mr Holland's Opus story.

OP: let us know what happens if you contact him!

 

[retiringby50]

Can't wait to hear the ending! I am still looking for two people who helped me when I was just a high school student working on an army base. I know they pulled strings for me to stay after the summer and other stuff, but I was way too young to realize it. Both are most likely in their late 60s or potentially early 70s.

About 2 years ago, my former manager of a college job reached out to me regarding potential sales related to my current job, and I connected her w/someone in my department. I took the opportunity to thank her for hiring me. It was a part time sales job at a high end department store; they normally didn't hire part time staff, and it was a big boost to my self-confidence because we had to dress in pretty clothes and look good, and I couldn't believe i got hired (I am so much smarter 30+ years later ).

 

[FlaGator]

Catching up after a few busy weeks.....

Hope you find him. If he's gone, let his widow/kids know the impact he had on you. I'm sure they would like to know that the hours he spent away from them are appreciated many years later.