More asides.
True story: My dad and uncle were doing a project and one of them slammed the hammer on a thumb. The blood started welling up under the nail and causing pressure and pain. Dad and my uncle solved this by having a few drinks, and then using a power drill to put a hole in the nail. One needed the drinks for the pain, the other for the courage to perform the surgery.
My mom and aunt were basketcases. But get this, the surgery actually worked!
I performed this procedure twice with my dental handpiece. Once on my partner's thumb, and once on my finger. In both cases, fingernails were slammed in screen doors. Actually doesn't hurt to drill through the nail, as long as you stop when you hit blood, rather than get into the nail bed.