Trooper
Full time employment: Posting here.
Demand the SPD, they must provide it. Mine was staight forward, past age 55 and terminated from sevice qualified as a hardship withdrawl with no penalty. Yours may or may not depending on the SPD. If your plan doesn't allow it, you can do a rollover IRA and do a 72t.
I guess the Megacorp I worked for was knowledgeable about all the options.
MRG
I agree with MRG. I checked my SPD today and it allows penalty-free withdrawals between 55 and 59 1/2, if you terminate while age 55 or later.
If your wife's employer doesn't believe you then show them this IRS publication:
401(k) Resource Guide - Plan Sponsors - General Distribution Rules
In the section "Taxes on Early Distributions", under 'Exceptions', it says:
(Distributions) made to a participant after separation from service if the separation occurred during or after the calendar year in which the participant reached age 55.