bosco
Full time employment: Posting here.
- Joined
- Jul 10, 2005
- Messages
- 987
I was divorced in 1994 at age 41. Since I had an "extended youth", I didn't really start my career until age 31 (I sort of RE'd at age 21 for a while....'nother story). My ex got 56% in the settlement, I got 44%. The lawyer claimed that 50-50 was fair, but it would cost more to get it than simply to let her get the long straw (yes, I had 50% custody of the kids, so that wasn't the basis of the uneven split). At that time, my share of the net worth after leaving the marriage was somewhere around $125,000.
I remarried in 1998. While I looked at each of our assets prior to getting married, (I had about 60% to her 40% in terms of what we brought to the marriage), I decided not to get a prenup. Now that it is 8 years later, I do not regret the decision. We have bought houses, sold houses, developed lots, basically everything we have now is comingled.
We now are worth about $1m, not impressive for our age, but considering where we were both at in 1996, we are doing quite well. We expect to RE in 2 years, in large part due to good pensions which will keep the pressure off our nest egg for a good many years.
My comment: I see love as a decision and a committment one makes rather than an emotion that happens to a person. Compatibility and attraction are obviously important. But, the person you marry likely represents the most important financial decision you will ever make--you are selecting a long-term business partner. If that sounds cold, sorry. But I have seen too many people with spouses off at the casinos pi$$ing away money, or snorting it up their nose.
The wife I have is a good earner, fairly frugal, and a hard worker. My first wife, well, never mind. If I had been a little smarter about who I married the first time, I would have been able to RE a while ago. No regrets--I have two great sons. But certainly a large consideration.
I remarried in 1998. While I looked at each of our assets prior to getting married, (I had about 60% to her 40% in terms of what we brought to the marriage), I decided not to get a prenup. Now that it is 8 years later, I do not regret the decision. We have bought houses, sold houses, developed lots, basically everything we have now is comingled.
We now are worth about $1m, not impressive for our age, but considering where we were both at in 1996, we are doing quite well. We expect to RE in 2 years, in large part due to good pensions which will keep the pressure off our nest egg for a good many years.
My comment: I see love as a decision and a committment one makes rather than an emotion that happens to a person. Compatibility and attraction are obviously important. But, the person you marry likely represents the most important financial decision you will ever make--you are selecting a long-term business partner. If that sounds cold, sorry. But I have seen too many people with spouses off at the casinos pi$$ing away money, or snorting it up their nose.
The wife I have is a good earner, fairly frugal, and a hard worker. My first wife, well, never mind. If I had been a little smarter about who I married the first time, I would have been able to RE a while ago. No regrets--I have two great sons. But certainly a large consideration.
