Assisted living plan; do you have one?
- Thread starter skipro33
- Start date
Slow But Steady
Recycles dryer sheets
My dad suffered from Alzheimer's, and just passed away in May. He lived at home for about 5 years after being diagnosed. When he fell and broke his hip, my step-mom could no longer safely care for him at home, though she tried.
For about 6 months, he was in a converted house in a nice neighborhood. He would try to get up at night, and after a while they couldn't really care for him properly either. At that time, he went to the memory care unit of a beautiful but expensive assisted living facility. The cost was about $8,000 per month in San Diego, CA.
The place was beautiful, but it was a sad place. Outside every room was a display case, with photos and memorabilia of the person who lived there. It was poignant to see how time had changed the residents. And at the end of a visit, Dad could never understand why we had to leave.
Here in Texas, perhaps we'd be able to do round the clock at-home care for twice what we paid for Dad's care. If the finances permit, I will consider it.
For about 6 months, he was in a converted house in a nice neighborhood. He would try to get up at night, and after a while they couldn't really care for him properly either. At that time, he went to the memory care unit of a beautiful but expensive assisted living facility. The cost was about $8,000 per month in San Diego, CA.
The place was beautiful, but it was a sad place. Outside every room was a display case, with photos and memorabilia of the person who lived there. It was poignant to see how time had changed the residents. And at the end of a visit, Dad could never understand why we had to leave.
Here in Texas, perhaps we'd be able to do round the clock at-home care for twice what we paid for Dad's care. If the finances permit, I will consider it.
sunnysideup
Recycles dryer sheets
Memory care experience
Just wanted to add my thoughts. The cost is not always proportional to the care.
My mom was in a couple of memory care units at two facilities that were only a couple of blocks apart. Both places are nearby and I visited 2 to 3 times a week.
The first place touted itself as the “best there is”. Well, mom was a curmudgeon and they drugged her up to make her amenable, so she continuously fell and ended up in the hospital. When I asked them to lower the dose, they would, she would stop falling, but then they would soon up the dose and not tell me. I would enquire why she was falling so much again and then find out. It was heartbreaking to watch. Then they wanted me to sign a waiver that we wouldn’t sue them. It became clear they didn’t give hoot about mom. Only their bottom line. After about 8 months I realized I had to move her.
The second place cost about $800 less per month. (6000, 5200) She was there about 11 months and then she passed. They managed her issues with a lower medication dose and redirecting her. I felt like they did their job, the other place just wanted zombies or happy people, so they didn’t have to work.
My takeaway from this was that one of the questions you need to ask is how they handle “difficult or ornery” residents. they may not be forthcoming but it’s worth asking.
Another thing I noticed was the activity schedule. I recommend going a few times to see if they actually do the activities...in my moms case the second facility had an awesome activity person. All day long they were engaging. The residents. The first one did not do everything they listed. It really was a joke.
Unfortunately the residents of memory can’t advocate for themselves. So if a family member is local and visits regularly, at least they can gauge what’s going on and try to manage the way the facility is giving here to the level one.
Just wanted to add my thoughts. The cost is not always proportional to the care.
My mom was in a couple of memory care units at two facilities that were only a couple of blocks apart. Both places are nearby and I visited 2 to 3 times a week.
The first place touted itself as the “best there is”. Well, mom was a curmudgeon and they drugged her up to make her amenable, so she continuously fell and ended up in the hospital. When I asked them to lower the dose, they would, she would stop falling, but then they would soon up the dose and not tell me. I would enquire why she was falling so much again and then find out. It was heartbreaking to watch. Then they wanted me to sign a waiver that we wouldn’t sue them. It became clear they didn’t give hoot about mom. Only their bottom line. After about 8 months I realized I had to move her.
The second place cost about $800 less per month. (6000, 5200) She was there about 11 months and then she passed. They managed her issues with a lower medication dose and redirecting her. I felt like they did their job, the other place just wanted zombies or happy people, so they didn’t have to work.
My takeaway from this was that one of the questions you need to ask is how they handle “difficult or ornery” residents. they may not be forthcoming but it’s worth asking.
Another thing I noticed was the activity schedule. I recommend going a few times to see if they actually do the activities...in my moms case the second facility had an awesome activity person. All day long they were engaging. The residents. The first one did not do everything they listed. It really was a joke.
Unfortunately the residents of memory can’t advocate for themselves. So if a family member is local and visits regularly, at least they can gauge what’s going on and try to manage the way the facility is giving here to the level one.
Huston55
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
I’d be interested in reading about your experiences if you’re willing to share them.
