Awkward Wealth

[Andre1969]

OMG reading (ok skimming) this thread, is causing me to wonder if there is a new episode of the Twilight zone. What happened to the nice forum folks..

Oh and I for the record at times I feel awkwardly wealthy with the Tesla. But it is such a conversation starter...

Good thing you got a Tesla instead of a Fisker. Otherwise you'd have a fire starter as well!

 

[NW-Bound]

OMG reading (ok skimming) this thread, is causing me to wonder if there is a new episode of the Twilight zone. What happened to the nice forum folks..

Oh and I for the record at times I feel awkwardly wealthy with the Tesla. But it is such a conversation starter...

What do you mean? Are you saying that people who make their own bread are not nice people?

And about expensive cars, they do not interest nor impress me, but I see no reason one would hold that against people who enjoy them.

 

[Andre1969]

here's a little "awkward wealth" story, or rather, false perception I guess. Back in 1999, once I was finally out of debt from my divorce and getting back on my feet, I bought my first brand-new car, a 2000 Dodge Intrepid. I took it to work that night to deliver pizzas in. When I parked, one of the little jail-baits that worked there was hanging out in front. She saw me get out of it and suddenly comes up running with her arms open and yells "Annnnndreeeeee!!!! Will you marry me?!"

Yet, when I drove the previous succession of beaters...a 1979 Newport, 1986 Monte Carlo, 1989 Gran Fury ex copcar, and occasionally my '68 Dart or Grandma's '85 LeSabre when one of the main cars was broken down, she wouldn't give me the time of day. Not that I WANTED her to give me the time of day, or anything else, that is...

Still, it's an interesting paradigm, or whatever fancy word you want to use. Driving one of the old beaters, I looked somewhat poor. But with the new car, I look successful, even if I'm now TRULY poor, to the tune of $2000 down and $347.66 per month!

I also had to explain to customers, when they saw me pull up in that new car, that no, I wasn't getting rich of tips and able to buy that thing, but the truth of the matter was that I was working a full time job but needed a second job to make ends meet, and was actually sacrificing my car to do it.

When I bought that car, I did a rough estimate, that it would save me around $150 or so per month just in gasoline, compared to the Gran Fury it replaced. And that was back when gas was only around $1.10-$1.25 per gallon for regular unleaded (the Gran Fury needed premium). It turned out to be perfect timing too, because no sooner did I buy that car, than gas prices started going up. It was delivered to me with a full tank of gas, but the first fill-up was around $1.40 per gallon, and it went up from there, and it wasn't long before it hit $2/gal.

 

[NW-Bound]

... Still, it's an interesting paradigm, or whatever fancy word you want to use. Driving one of the old beaters, I looked somewhat poor. But with the new car, I look successful...

I will admit that while I pay little attention to fancy cars, beaten-up cars catch my attention more. So, while I do not spend too much money on cars, I would not drive one with dents or rusted fenders, the same way I would not wear clothes with holes in them (not knowingly anyway ).

 

[Andre1969]

My '79 Newport actually used to get a lot of attention, because of its color, a light cream color that Chrysler called "Cashmere". If I was on the highway, people would clear the passing lane for me, and even driving around town, people often made an effort to get out of the way. Well, one night when I came back from a delivery, an off-duty cop who hung out at the 7-Eleven a few doors down walked up and started up a conversation. He asked if it was an old Maryland state police car. I told him no, it was just an old car I rescued from the junkyard for $250. He told me that, back in the day, Maryland used a lot of Newports, and the almost-identical looking '80-81 Gran Fury, for police cars, and that their color was similar.

So, that explained it, I guess. Of course, it got worse once I started driving the '89 Gran Fury, which WAS a former sheriff's car from Richmond, VA. It didn't have the spotlight mounted on the windshield pillar, but it had the slotted copcar wheels with the little dog dish hubcaps, and just screamed "Unmarked police car". And it was new enough that there were still a few of these being used by local police forces.

There were a few times that I had trouble getting people come to the door for their pizza, because they'd look out in the driveway and see what they thought was an unmarked police car.

 

[NW-Bound]

...
There were a few times that I had trouble getting people come to the door for their pizza, because they'd look out in the driveway and see what they thought was an unmarked police car.

Delivering pizza to areas populated with bail jumpers is a hazardous duty and should pay more, I hope.

 

[Andre1969]

Delivering pizza to areas populated with bail jumpers is a hazardous duty and should pay more, I hope.

Our area was fairly safe, at the time at least. I don't think I'd want to do it nowadays though. The area is worse, but moreso than that, I swear drivers are much more reckless and entitled these days. Plus, I'm older now, and have more to lose.

 

[ArkTinkerer]

Our area was fairly safe, at the time at least. I don't think I'd want to do it nowadays though. The area is worse, but moreso than that, I swear drivers are much more reckless and entitled these days. Plus, I'm older now, and have more to lose.

Actually you have less to lose-- You have fewer years to live. You just realize you are not bullet proof and you realize how valuable that time is. As they say, youth is wasted on the young!

 

[Amethyst]

Jail bait = age 15 or younger, right? So, too young to have a job? I remember some guys hollering "Jail Bait" at me when I was about 13, and had to ask somebody what it meant.

Amethyst

hWhen I parked, one of the little jail-baits that worked there was hanging out in front. She saw me get out of it and suddenly comes up running with her arms open and yells "Annnnndreeeeee!!!! Will you marry me?!"

Yet, when I drove the previous succession of beaters...a 1979 Newport, 1986 Monte Carlo, 1989 Gran Fury ex copcar, and occasionally my '68 Dart or Grandma's '85 LeSabre when one of the main cars was broken down, she wouldn't give me the time of day.

 

[Andre1969]

Jail bait = age 15 or younger, right? So, too young to have a job? I remember some guys hollering "Jail Bait" at me when I was about 13, and had to ask somebody what it meant.

Amethyst

Just out of curiosity, I looked it up online, and in Maryland, the age of consent is 16. So, technically, not jail bait. But still, I wasn't interested enough to bite!

 

[LoneAspen]

Does anyone have a suggestions for unique ways to save money by using a paperclip? You know, so I can accrue wealth faster and feel awkward.

See this video for paperclip financial planning. I think the paperclip has to be red, though:

[yt]yZ9l0lqF-o4[/yt]

 

[brewer12345]

A slight awkward moment this morning:

We drop the kids off at school by walking there every morning. Most days we have the dogs with us and then go on a 3 to 5 mile walk on the local trails. Today one of the other parents said to me, "I see you guys on the trail almost every morning, what do you do for a living?" <gulp> I responded that DW is in private practice out of the house and that I quit my job with the notion of taking a year off, but that I am foreshortening the year by a few months because I am starting a contract consulting gig that is expected to last a year.

I think he was genuinely curious because he is one of the few able-bodied men between 25 and 55 beside myself who is regularly seen at liberty during working hours. Based on his response I think he took my answer about myself to mean that I was running out of money and had to find some work. No real reason to correct that assumption, and I bet I hear nothing further since I satisfied his curiosity.

 

[Sarah in SC]

Or as Jimmy Buffett said...15 will get you 20!
Jailbait here is anyone under 18, if you are over 18.
Wise for you to ignore her request for marriage, Andre!

 

[Andre1969]

Or as Jimmy Buffett said...15 will get you 20!
Jailbait here is anyone under 18, if you are over 18.
Wise for you to ignore her request for marriage, Andre!

I remember a commercial for "Little House on the Prairie" on TVLand awhile back, where the announcer said "Welcome to Walnut Grover, where everybody is friendly", and they cut to various scenes of the townspeople saying nice, friendly things. But then they cut to Charles Ingalls saying something along the lines of "You can have her when she's 15. Until then she's MINE!"

And the announcer follows up with "Maybe a little TOO friendly!"

But, hey, it was the 70's! A different time!

 

[Letj]

There is a difference between changing/upgrading one's lifestyle upon receiving a sudden windfall and changing one's core values and outlook on life. I think that if one's core values "change" for the worse because of new wealth, then those values were not real to begin with or at least not firmly in place--they were not the person you thought they were.

Having a chum who you can preach to the choir with, etc. is great. Does it matter that they have a fancy-er car than before? If it does than either the friend or the person himself are not being their genuine self.

I've felt a bit of this. I sold a business and made a nice windfall. We bought a vacation home on the beach. I RE'ed. We took a 1 year sailing trip with our school-aged kids. But I still drive the same (now) 9 year old car. Kids still go to the same public schools, etc. We're the same people as before but with more free time and a nice vacation rental (that we rarely mention). Some friends and family must have become uncomfortable because they have distanced themselves. Others are fine with it. I say that is their internal issue to deal with, their insecurities showing.

I have had some friends and family distance themselves from me once I became far more financially successful than they are. I try hard not to think about them. These are people that should not be in your life.

 

[GTFan]

OMG stop, that was an actual on-topic post.

 

[38Chevy454]

Does anyone have a suggestions for unique ways to save money by using a paperclip? You know, so I can accrue wealth faster and feel awkward.

Take your cash money and fold it in half, put the paper clip on, and put it back in your pocket instead of spending it.

 

[NW-Bound]

OMG stop, that was an actual on-topic post.

Just as in real life, some posters try to avoid an awkward subject and divert the conversation to something else.

 

[Andre1969]

I have had some friends and family distance themselves from me once I became far more financially successful than they are. I try hard not to think about them. These are people that should not be in your life.

Stuff like this is one reason why I try not to talk too much about my finances. About a year and a half ago, one of my friends, who makes a lot of money but isn't good with budgeting, asked me about investing, planning for retirement, etc. I told him that one thing he definitely needs to do is check his asset allocation and rebalance if necessary. At the time, I trusted this guy enough that we ended up having a "I'll show you mine if you show me yours" moments. Well, turns out mine was about 2.7x bigger than his, despite him making about twice what I make, and being about 5 years older, having a master's degree to my bachelor's, etc.

Almost immediately, there was a change in him. He'd always had an air of snobbery about him. He would try his damndest to keep it in check with me, but sometimes I would still get the sense that he thought he was "superior" to me, somehow. But, once we had that little financial unveiling, his whole attitude changed, and he started showing resentment towards me, like it wasn't fair that I had more than him.

I used to call him "Maude" because he was sort of a limousine liberal. He would carry on about unemployment and income inequality, and how Social Security should be expanded and minimum wage raised, and the tax base broadened, but then hire a couple of Latinos from the Home Depot parking lot to do build a fence for him, and arguing on price and trying to pay them as little as possible, nevermind the fact that in doing so, they're not paying income tax or social security on that income, and potentially keeping another person out of work (someone who, while charging more, would be paying into SS and taxes at least).

Anyway, he just got more and more annoying and resentful, and just a pain to be around, so I distanced myself and eventually ended the friendship.

 

[Nords]

Self imposed feelings on my part. The more I think about it, "A" probably didn't give my question much further thought. She probably went back to breaking boxes, sorting inventory, and thinking whatever thoughts she was thinking before I asked her a quick question about fish eggs.

Well, it sure spiked some commentary here!

 

[ArkTinkerer]

I think this is true for so much of how we view things. We view everything thru the lens of "me". Others do the same. Its shocking the things we concern our selves with that matter not at all to others and the things we ignore that others take great umbrage with.

 

[eta2020]

I think this is true for so much of how we view things. We view everything thru the lens of "me". Others do the same. Its shocking the things we concern our selves with that matter not at all to others and the things we ignore that others take great umbrage with.

No man really knows about other human beings. The best he can do is to suppose that they are like himself

 

[FUEGO]

Well, it sure spiked some commentary here!

Yeah, it's funny because she probably doesn't even recall that I asked about anything in the store. The "where's da caviar?" conversation was maybe 10 seconds long. The "hey, how are you doing? How's the kids? How is your little one liking first grade, etc" conversation took a lot longer and probably was what she would remember of our interaction that day.

I still think about this thread when I see her or her husband walking by me or at school picking up kids.

 

[ArkTinkerer]

No man really knows about other human beings. The best he can do is to suppose that they are like himself

If I ever meet another that is in total agreeement with my every thought--one of the two of us is a waste of space. We probably disagree on which of us that is...

 

[Willers]

I tend to agree. Never understood the obsession with cars.

Guilty on this one. I've never cared what others drive, but I love cars and always will. I'll always be the guy that people look at and see wasted money on nice cars. I've actually thought about debadging one or two just to say "I didn't buy this for the brand name."

As my wife and I always say, everyone has "their thing", be it travel, music, art, experiences, etc.

Mine will always be cars. The thought the self-driving car makes me very sad...


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