Cost of Children to age 21

[LOL!]

Children can cost as little as you want or as much as you are willing.

Clearly, some low-income families do not spend as much on children as some high-income families do.

I figure to get out of high school, we probably paid less than $50,000 per child from age 0 to 18. Plus all the tax breaks offset much of the costs.

Why is that? It is because we are cheap and we would have bought the same house whether we had children or not because our home is terribly convenient to our jobs. No private schools. No extra cars. No auto insurance at age 16. No orthodontists. Free clothes, furniture, and stuff from friends, relatives, and neighbors. Employer paid health insurance.

My oldest had a shoe contract because she played for school teams. They did things to earn their shoe money with school fundraisers. Team uniforms were provided by the public school.

Like my dad: Dad, can I borrow $20? No.

 

[TDub]

Children can cost as little as you want or as much as you are willing.

^^This^^

 

[pj.mask]

More relevant what % of gross income did you spend on kids. I’m fine with spending about 15%

 

[ckelly78z]

My kids are now 25 (graduated CAD designer), and 19 (about to graduate, diesel tech), and have good morals, attitudes, and ethics because they were brought up in a very frugal household. We all drive 15 year old cars, pack our lunches, and are debt free.

 

[RetiredAt55.5]

We raised 3 boys and didn't spend anywhere close to $250K per child to the age of 21.

All went to public school because I refused to pay taxes to live in a good school district, and then pay (again) for them to attend private/Catholic school.

We didn't use daycare - my wife worked part time nights and weekends, and I was Mr. Mom when she was working.

None of my kids had cell phones until they were in high school, and then the phones were Christmas presents.

The ages when my boys got their driver's licenses were 18, 19, and 21.

We never upgraded to a McMansion, staying in our 3 bedroom rancher. Two of the boys shared a bedroom.

The biggest expense was saving for college in ESA and 529 accounts. All ended up going to one of the state's universities (about $80K per child including room and board, completely paid with these accounts). Since we started investing in these accounts early, we probably contributed about $40K per child to these accounts.

Having kids can be done for a lot less. It's all about choices.

 

[brewer12345]

Easily half a million a pop. Those quoting much lower figures are bad at math or self delusional.

 

[Teacher Terry]

Most people can’t afford that. You are delusional.

 

[Sunset]

Children can cost as little as you want or as much as you are willing.

Clearly, some low-income families do not spend as much on children as some high-income families do.

I figure to get out of high school, we probably paid less than $50,000 per child from age 0 to 18. Plus all the tax breaks offset much of the costs.

Why is that? It is because we are cheap and we would have bought the same house whether we had children or not because our home is terribly convenient to our jobs. No private schools. No extra cars. No auto insurance at age 16. No orthodontists. Free clothes, furniture, and stuff from friends, relatives, and neighbors. Employer paid health insurance.

My oldest had a shoe contract because she played for school teams. They did things to earn their shoe money with school fundraisers. Team uniforms were provided by the public school.

Like my dad: Dad, can I borrow $20? No.

ha ha ha ha .... Love it.

It really is true.

• We used cloth diapers and washed them at home, probably spent a total of $300 for the 1st child on diapers. (actual diapers, plus pail, plus laundry soap).

• The crib, I got one for $10 at a yard sale, it was not safe, so took it apart, and doubled the number of bars, screwed 2x4 under the board so I could stand in the crib safely, and painted the whole thing. It worked for both kids.
• Garage sales for toys, clothing for young ones, just wash them with bleach.
• I made the baby food , frozen vegies cooked and food processor, then frozen into ice cube trays for handy size. Same with meat.

Once on a drive, i stopped and bought baby food in a jar, opened it and thought how disgusting it looked compared to our home-made stuff.

Our house was the same size with and without kids, no difference, they shared a bedroom for years.

 

[6miths]

I have two daughters and have computed their cost at...priceless

+1

Four children now in college. The largest cost was opportunity cost of lost wages for DW but we felt it was worth the time investment in their upbringing. Hoping to recoup some costs when it comes time for LTC.

 

[USGrant1962]

Easily half a million a pop. Those quoting much lower figures are bad at math or self delusional.

So two kids are >$1M divided by 21 years is ~$48K/year. The U.S. median household income is only $61K/year. Bad at math?

As LOL! said, "Children can cost as little as you want or as much as you are willing."

 

[brewer12345]

So two kids are >$1M divided by 21 years is ~$48K/year. The U.S. median household income is only $61K/year. Bad at math?

As LOL! said, "Children can cost as little as you want or as much as you are willing."

We are talking about the average for the readers of this board, not the US median. Want to guess how many multiples of US median income the average board participant brings in? 3 to 5X, I would guess. I think many of the lowballers are also ignoring some huge costs: forgone wages, the costs of keeping a stable family situation, forgone career opportunities, etc. I'm good with people telling themselves whatever they like, though. We all have to live with the voices in our heads.

 

[Dark Knight]

I am 41 and have an 8 year old son . Wife and I both work and we’re unfortunately currently stuck in CA so I’m sure our number would be nuts but I have found what I have read of this thread to be interesting

 

[Col. Klink]

I have two daughters and have computed their cost at...

priceless

Nice reply. I have two daughters as well and feel the same way as you.

 

[pj.mask]

A number of replies come off as smug (to me) saying how cheap one can raise kids. Is it just me reading it that way?

We basically changed our personal spending (nights out, latest tech, frequent trips) into stuff for the kids. Because all our time is family time - I don’t have time for tech/computers, we don’t go out to fancy places frequently, and we don’t take international trips at near the frequency.

Our spend increased but the main thing was our lifestyle shifted. We are both happier with where it is vs was.

Another surprise is how many people buy 3-4 bedroom houses in good school districts (high tax area) ‘whether we have kids or not’

 

[MichaelB]

This is a very personal topic, so we should all make an effort to keep it friendly.

 

[ckelly78z]

Those that live on the East, or West coast may have to spend $500,000 per child to keep up, but living in a "flyover state" allows for a much cheaper environment, and yes, we did shop for used clothes, and used cloth diapers for awhile, but never took government aid (although we qualified)...like I said earlier, sacrifices are still being made, my daily driver car is 15 years old, with 180,000 miles, and rust holes.

 

[TDub]

I should mention that spending money on the kids is actually quite fun sometimes. Most of the time we don’t bat an eye. We want to raise them to have a healthy saving/giving/spending balance, of course. But when it comes to buying diapers, food, vacations, even daycare, I by no means lament the “lost” income.

What’s cool, too, is DW and I have become extremely efficient with our time at w*rk and at home, simply because it’s the only way to do it all. Our kids are healthy and the careers are going well. We need the baby to learn to sleep through the night some day, but we have no regrets [emoji4]

 

[nhcycling]

Too much $$$ to think about - 3 kids: daycare, multiple expensive sports, private school, cars, cell phones, college, grad school, weddings ...

 

[nhcycling]

Nice reply. I have two daughters as well and feel the same way as you.

[emoji3]

 

[KM]

The amount to raise a child has way too many variables.....imo, the “average” is pretty meaningless.

If I spend $150K and someone else three states over spends $350K, the average is $250K. I’m thinking he overspends and he’s thinking “how do they do it?!” But taxes, medical, food, housing is all different. It CAN be - but isn’t always - about clothes, cars, phones, and private schools. Not to mention, the difference if one of us makes $60K and one makes $120K.

I’ve told my kids “if you wait to have kids until you think you can afford them....you’ll never have them. You learn to adjust along the way”.

But back to OP’s thought.....sure, having kids impacts impacts how much can save for retirement. But so does your housing choice, entertainment choices, salary, savings habits, etc etc. I know lots of people without kids who can’t retire and lots with kids that have.

It’s all about what we do with what we got.

 

[Rianne]

^Yes, anyone can blow that dough on many things. Priorities count.

I figured it would be hard to nail down a figure for kids. I was a pretty cheap kid, except my mom sent all 5 of us to Catholic Schools. I hate to shop, I didn't follow trends, no cell phones, very little TV, a lot of outside play (free), my mom did not helicopter me, we did not have play dates. Parents bought me a bike and I figured out my play time. I paid for my own wedding/with DH and our honeymoon because I worked. I paid for my college with loans and paid them back.

The world is really different today.

 

[jabbahop]

Quite a bit for us but it was a choice and we were still able to retire early. Probably the biggest “expense” was the opportunity cost of my wife leave her high paying job to manage the household. 15 years x $100K plus. We somehow managed to raise three lovely young men and no have regrets.

 

[MichaelB]

My children and I have far different estimates of what it cost to raise them. I think they were far more costly, while their view is than almost nothing was spent on them. When I add in the emotional cost of raising the, I think the ttcok (total cost of kids) was sky high, while they think they were (and still are) a net positive. Go figure.

 

[Music Lover]

Easily half a million a pop. Those quoting much lower figures are bad at math or self delusional.

I know several people who successfully raised 1 or more kids earning an average of $40k a year. My parents raised 3 kids on one salary that's equivalent to less than $40k in today's money.

 

[PatrickA5]

Raised 3 kids with the youngest one almost out of college. My guess is probably around $300K per kid (includes college). We didn't do the private school thing, but did have daycare for all 3. DS's sports were kind of expensive and all 3 had braces which cost $5K each. Add in cars, insurance, cell phones, FOOD and it adds up pretty quick!

So, well north of a million. Worth every penny. Still retired at 50, so no complaints. Now I have a couple of grandsons to spend money on - and love it!