It seems that Dave is more ready (to retire) than Carole.
That's not unusual at all. In our case, we decided to retire at the same time, in the same year.
I retired
; my DW did not once her "date" arrived. She found out that she was not "emotionally ready" to retire. Three + years later, she is still at the same old j*b.
Hey, I'm not complaining. She's happy at work, I'm happy at home. The "split decision" worked out well in our case.
And yes, I've taken over more "duties" (e.g. grocery shopping, house cleaning, cooking, etc.) I'll admit that I don't do them well (but I try).
And financially? It has worked out much better. My plan was set for her to retire three years ago and I've kept the plan as if she would retire today. That means our actual SWR is much less than anticipated, since I'm the only one drawing, while she continues her 401(k) contributions, along with replacing her SS credits with current wages that overlay early career earnings.
Sometimes either/or (like the decision of VG vs. FIDO) dosen't make sense (BTW, we have our accounts split between Vanguard and Fidelity; we take the "good" from each vendor).
Our current "retirement situation" is the same.
I don't get the idea that just because you are married/partners that you have to do the same thing in all areas of life...