FI problems

[dallas27]

For those of you who have reached the point where you are confident you are FI and have come to terms with that mentally, i'd like to ask you what "problems" you now have that you never expected, and what "problems" you thought would be solved and are not.


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[shasta]

I actually just made a thread detailing some of mine in the Life after Fire forum.

 

[fidler4]

Here is Shasta's post: http://www.early-retirement.org/forums/showthread.php?t=75711


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[Terryjm51]

Dallas if you find the thread that gives you answers please let me know. I agree with you I have had the same thoughts


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[Midpack]

For those of you who have reached the point where you are confident you are FI and have come to terms with that mentally, i'd like to ask you what "problems" you now have that you never expected, and what "problems" you thought would be solved and are not.

I don't know how anyone could be "confident" they're FI without also planning for considerable unexpected "problems."

 

[W2R]

For those of you who have reached the point where you are confident you are FI and have come to terms with that mentally, i'd like to ask you what "problems" you now have that you never expected, and what "problems" you thought would be solved and are not.

After all I've been through earlier in my life, being FIREd has been paradise for me. I haven't really had any surprising problems. Life is pretty good.

I think any of us could have a major health problem (I haven't), and this could sure present an unexpected problem. Or divorce (I already was). Or death in the family (none lately). There are so many problems that one has no control over.

But, fortunately I haven't encountered any surprising problems so far. I suppose that means that one is right around the corner.

 

[razztazz]

I think any of us could have a major health problem (I haven't), and this could sure present an unexpected problem. Or divorce (I already was). Or death in the family (none lately). There are so many problems that one has no control over.

I'm one who had the unexpected health problems but I don't consider that a problem related to being FI or retired since health problems can happen at any time.

I will say that being retired made the problem less of a problem. I hate to thing how much worse things would have been if I had to work during those years. I'd have ended up broke and dead

 

[W2R]

I think any of us could have a major health problem (I haven't), and this could sure present an unexpected problem. Or divorce (I already was). Or death in the family (none lately). There are so many problems that one has no control over.

I'm one who had the unexpected health problems but I don't consider that a problem related to being FI or retired since health problems can happen at any time.

I will say that being retired made the problem less of a problem. I hate to thing how much worse things would have been if I had to work during those years. I'd have ended up broke and dead

Yeah, ANY of us (FIREd or not) could have an unexpected major health problem. I guess my post was not sufficiently clear. The intent was to point out some of the types of unexpected problems that can occur when FIREd, as opposed to those unexpected problems that might only occur pre-FIRE. BTW, I'm sorry to read that you were faced with an unexpected health problems and hope for the best for you.

 

[Mulligan]

If you worry you haven't accounted for enough problems, stay patient and continue reading daily on this forum. I felt blissfully confident a year out from retirement until I joined this forum. Now I have learned about so many maladies and contingencies I should never have retired! I try to only worry about the big things, but I must admit constant posts on teeth repair and eye sight worry me a bit.


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[Amethyst]

Not to mention fear of lawsuits! Don't even think of looking at any post with "Umbrella" in the title - it won't be about which bumbershoot to buy.

Amethyst

 

[Mulligan]

Not to mention fear of lawsuits! Don't even think of looking at any post with "Umbrella" in the title - it won't be about which bumbershoot to buy.

Amethyst

Yes, that is a big one here, too! I have resisted the urge to splurge and buy that or LTCI either.


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[unclemick]

Hmmm - in twenty years of ER. Some unplanned events.

Layed off at 49 - instead of ER at 63.

Katrina - outside the levee - moving 1000 miles inland on hill.

Significant other of 29 yrs dying.

After 7 yrs marrying at age 70.

heh heh heh - And after twenty yrs of ER paying more in Federal taxes than my first years ER budget.

Pretty quiet, normal stuff of life.

 

[Cobra9777]

For those of you who have reached the point where you are confident you are FI and have come to terms with that mentally, i'd like to ask you what "problems" you now have that you never expected, and what "problems" you thought would be solved and are not.

I always thought my stress level and blood pressure would immediately go down once I was solidly FI and out of the Corporate world. Nope. Blood pressure is still high. And I still stress over everything. Only now it's small stuff like squirrels in the attic, as opposed to the really "important" stuff like Megacorp's market share for some goofy widget.

I'm slowly starting to realize that "I" create the stress. Even though the external stimuli are quite different now, my brain is still hardwired to shift into overdrive and start solving problems with root-cause analysis. Basically, I still haven't learned to relax... mentally. But that was one of my fears going into ER... that I'd become mentally lazy. Perhaps I'm seeking out problems to counterbalance my fear? Whatever the case, it's increasingly obvious that stress and high blood pressure will be a longer-term "problem" after FI than what I had been expecting.

 

[RAE]

The only major unexpected problems I've encountered (and I probably should have expected it) have had to do with family members asking for money to help them with various things. I'm talking mostly about kids here (my two stepkids), but my two siblings also ask for money from time to time. These are all people that are terrible at managing their own money (one has a good job, the others earn very little), and they all know that my wife and I have some resources (as we have been frugal and manage our finances well). These requests all start out as "loan" requests (the car broke down, I need a security deposit for a new apartment, etc, etc), but you know how that goes.......it's obvious that most of the money is never going to be repaid, especially from the stepkids. And sure, we could just say NO to all these requests, but there are extenuating circumstances that make that difficult (like the two grandsons the stepdaughter has, that need a place to live, and a car that works, etc). I don't know if others on the forum have this problem, but we sure do, and there is no apparent end to it. This just bugs me because all the financial planning I do for the future basically has a "margin of error" due to things like this, which are (largely) out of my control.

 

[W2R]

I always thought my stress level and blood pressure would immediately go down once I was solidly FI and out of the Corporate world. Nope. Blood pressure is still high.

I gather from your signature line that you are 54 years old. Over half of U.S. men age 55-64 have high blood pressure.

High Blood Pressure Facts | cdc.gov

So, don't feel too bad! You might have eventually had high blood pressure anyway. Stress is a killer, though, so I hope you can lessen your stress as time passes. I think it took me at least 2-3 years of retirement to shed all of my work stress.

 

[bingybear]

. And sure, we could just say NO to all these requests, but there are extenuating circumstances that make that difficult (like the two grandsons the stepdaughter has, that need a place to live, and a car that works, etc). I don't know if others on the forum have this problem, but we sure do, and there is no apparent end to it.

No is sometimes the best answer. I had a kid with wife that were going to miss rent payments, etc. A real need. I gave them the money for the remainder of the current month and for the following month because I was to be out of country much of the following month. They blew it all before I left town and before paying the next month's rent. I changed my tactics. I paid most of their bills or gave it to them an watched them pay it. I hated it, they hated it. It did not take too long that they wanted me out of their financial life and found better employment and cut back on their spending a bit. This whole process created a lot of friction between us. Several years down the road... they make a bit more, actually manage money much better, and we get along much better. My son actually told me he knows I did what was best for him.

Do what is right or them...even if they don't know it at the time. Doing the easy thing can be more costly in the end. Note, I did not say don't help them. But help them learn the right things.

And yes, there were times I wondered if I was doing the right thing and if they would ever come around. I was the evil empire. BTW... I'm not ER yet... 19 more working days.

 

[Amethyst]

No such issues with family, thank heaven, and I sympathize with yours. I know such folks exist, though, because I was a landlord

A.

The only major unexpected problems I've encountered (and I probably should have expected it) have had to do with family members asking for money to help them with various things. I'm talking mostly about kids here (my two stepkids), but my two siblings also ask for money from time to time. These are all people that are terrible at managing their own money (one has a good job, the others earn very little), and they all know that my wife and I have some resources (as we have been frugal and manage our finances well). These requests all start out as "loan" requests (the car broke down, I need a security deposit for a new apartment, etc, etc), but you know how that goes.......it's obvious that most of the money is never going to be repaid, especially from the stepkids. And sure, we could just say NO to all these requests, but there are extenuating circumstances that make that difficult (like the two grandsons the stepdaughter has, that need a place to live, and a car that works, etc). I don't know if others on the forum have this problem, but we sure do, and there is no apparent end to it. This just bugs me because all the financial planning I do for the future basically has a "margin of error" due to things like this, which are (largely) out of my control.

 

[daylatedollarshort]

The main issue we have had is more time for navel gazing, what do we want to do with the rest of our lives and where do we want to live. Life was simpler, not better but simpler, when we weren't FI, DH had a local job and the kids went to local public schools. Downsizing, moving, buying an RV, living overseas or not working at all just weren't realistic choices. We just trudged along like most of our co-workers and neighbors living lives of quiet desperation.

It is not really a problem, but we do spend a lot more time now thinking about what really are our long term goals.

 

[Dash man]

We haven't had much of a problem with relatives looking for a handout (one exception), but there have been times we know family members need help and they refuse to accept it. When DW's sisters have lost jobs or their DH has lost their job, we have offered to pay off a car loan or some other thing to help them keep their head above water and their credit good, until they get back on their feet. Stubborn pride gets in the way and they refuse and their financial problems snowball. Even when we tell them they can pay us back or not pay us back, that it doesn't matter to us, they refuse.

 

[Grigori]

The main issue we have had is more time for navel gazing, what do we want to do with the rest of our lives and where do we want to live. Life was simpler, not better but simpler, when we weren't FI, DH had a local job and the kids went to local public schools. Downsizing, moving, buying an RV, living overseas or not working at all just weren't realistic choices. We just trudged along like most of our co-workers and neighbors living lives of quiet desperation.

It is not really a problem, but we do spend a lot more time now thinking about what really are our long term goals.

We have some of that navelgazing too. With all our time freed up, there still is time to do all the things that we could do or might enjoy. It seems like we have endless choices now, but like the kid in the candy factory, we want it all now, but we've got to decide among a few things that we will actually be able to do.

The good thing is that even the worst things were picking to do with our time are better than the best things at the J*B.

 

[ejman]

For those of you who have reached the point where you are confident you are FI and have come to terms with that mentally, i'd like to ask you what "problems" you now have that you never expected, and what "problems" you thought would be solved and are not.


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Well, stress related to a job goes away once you are FI. If "they" come up with job related stressors its easy to ignore them. "They" realize quickly that they "don't have you" so a sort of a force field builds around you where the work related stress just disappears. Everything else in one's life stays the same until head exercises take hold and after several years of ER one learns to truly relax.

 

[Throwdownmyaceinthehole]

Alcohol. We've finally faced the fact that now that we have no one to answer to, we could have a drink at lunch, or drink every night during the week or start drinking wine at 4. After 2 years of this, we realized we may be drinking a bit too much, so we are trying to moderate. Never really falling down drunk, just getting fat and lazy.

 

[Kabekew]

I ER'd at age 40 and my unanticipated problems five years later now are mostly non-financial.

The main thing is a feeling of loneliness during the working day. My peers are all at work. If I leave the house, whether to the golf course or the grocery store, it means shuffling around with all the conventional retirees out during the day, probably average age 80 (and a surprising number of 90+ year olds). God bless them -- my parents are that age. I also know I'm going to be that age someday, but do I really want to spend the rest of my retirement with them? Fellow ER's are really rare so you need to get used to this.

Then I didn't expect the tax burden I encountered. I was fortunate enough to sell my company and ER after the market crash, so I put a chunk in real estate and the rest in the markets, both of which have gone up. Of course, you need to rebalance your portfolio as necessary, but it means a tax burden. My state doesn't distinguish between capital gains and ordinary income so I pay probably $15K a year in state taxes (and $10K federal), plus my property taxes (another $15K) all of which is more than I withdraw to live off of. I never expected to pay more in taxes than I "made" in income.

And then there's the change in lifestyle. I expected ER would mean enjoying life -- travel, books, hobbies, sunsets, relaxation -- but after 40 years of a fast-paced and mostly impoverished and frugal life to get where I am, it's hard to change. I spend too much time on the internet and TV like I did before ER. It's something I'm working on though.

 

[Mulligan]

Kabe, I have various individual activities, routines, and time with GF including a ski trip next week coming up. But still, I spend a helluva of a lot of time on Internet and TV. I enjoy it and am not apologizing for it. If you feel like you need to expand your horizons, by all means go for it. But I am not going to learn a musical instrument or feign interest in art because it is a higher calling. I am what I am. Those and other examples I am sure are great hobbies for people, just not for me.
I just simply mean if you enjoy it do not feel guilty about it. Personally the Internet and big screen Tvs are the best inventions man has created! Well besides maybe sports betting.


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[M Paquette]

Some folks around here just work too hard at trying to Find Something To DO!

I see an awful lot of fretting over what the cable news channel says to be afraid of today, and too much worrying and posting about Things Which Really Aren't Going To Happen.

Use your independence more wisely. Those kittens and puppies aren't going to pet themselves, you know.