Originally Posted by Spanky
Most likely, but the reward is freedom.
Good point. Freedom is important when both partners are strong-willed individuals.
Freedom comes in many forms. For example, I feel free to save energy by turning off the A/C in my house in the spring and fall, whereas he would rather keep his house quite cold. If we lived together, I would be nagging him about it mercilessly at every opportunity, believe me. Since we live apart he's free of the nagging, and I'm free of the bills. I also don't have to define myself (to myself) as a nagger. Also, the total energy bills for these two small houses are less than would be needed for a larger home. I suppose that if we lived together, we'd have to have dual A/C installed in separate parts of the house. More expense. And why? Our relationship is about enjoying one another's company, not about such mundane silliness, and we have wonderful times when we are together. We know that when we are together, it is by mutual desire and we have better ways than this to occupy our time.
Compromise isn't free, either.
Have you ever watched "Designing for the Sexes" on HGTV? The compromise designs that they come up with are often absolutely beautiful, but I always have the nagging suspicion that they are many times as expensive as the total cost of both partners' individual design concepts would be, if realized in separate homes.
Ever have a partner throw out something of yours, or put something away in a place where it cannot later be found, so that the item must be replaced? Ever pay a late fee or a bounced check fee because you didn't know something your partner did or didn't do? None of this happens to us, ever.