Join Early Retirement Today
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Plan for if the "money partner" dies first?
Old 05-28-2023, 04:14 PM   #1
Full time employment: Posting here.
 
Join Date: Nov 2020
Posts: 743
Plan for if the "money partner" dies first?

I handle all the investments and don't use a financial advisor. In addition to investments I am optimizing taxes, healthcare, social security, estate planning, existing debt, etc.

My wife has zero interest in any of this. If I die first, I'm thinking maybe we need something like a springing financial advisor. Or maybe it's just a well written plan (what to do if qwerty dies...).

Do other people have things like this in place?
qwerty3656 is offline   Reply With Quote
Join the #1 Early Retirement and Financial Independence Forum Today - It's Totally Free!

Are you planning to be financially independent as early as possible so you can live life on your own terms? Discuss successful investing strategies, asset allocation models, tax strategies and other related topics in our online forum community. Our members range from young folks just starting their journey to financial independence, military retirees and even multimillionaires. No matter where you fit in you'll find that Early-Retirement.org is a great community to join. Best of all it's totally FREE!

You are currently viewing our boards as a guest so you have limited access to our community. Please take the time to register and you will gain a lot of great new features including; the ability to participate in discussions, network with our members, see fewer ads, upload photographs, create a retirement blog, send private messages and so much, much more!

Old 05-28-2023, 04:23 PM   #2
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
latexman's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Apex and Bradenton
Posts: 1,764
No, but I’m following. I’m in the same boat as you.
__________________
Good Luck,
Latexman
latexman is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-28-2023, 04:38 PM   #3
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
street's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 9,373
No, but I'm all ears.
street is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-28-2023, 04:50 PM   #4
Moderator
 
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 5,598
https://www.early-retirement.org/for...use-96727.html

A somewhat similar thread topic . . .
__________________
Use it up, wear it out, make it do or do without.
MarieIG is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-28-2023, 04:57 PM   #5
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 8,332
I'm in a similar situation but recently have had some serious health scares. DW has now demanded that she become involved and better understand how it all works.

I've also written everything out on the mechanics of it all. She's even recently started taking over paying the bills!!

None of it is extremely complicated and I've also written a plan on how to simplify some of the slightly more involved aspects.

And our accountant handles the broader picture.
__________________
Living well is the best revenge!
Retired @ 52 in 2005
marko is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-28-2023, 05:09 PM   #6
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: Feb 2021
Posts: 2,324
We use a CPA for our taxes who is a friend of ours.


A year or two ago, we had a few meetings with a CFP who happens to be my wife's cousin just to review our situation and get his input on anything we might not have thought of. He ran some projections for us including order of withdraw from the portfolio and when to take SS, that sort of thing.


If I die, I know that my wife has those two people to turn to who are already well-acquainted with our situation, lifestyle, risk tolerance, and investment mindset. I feel comfortable knowing that she'd have two advisors who we have both trusted.
disneysteve is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-28-2023, 05:13 PM   #7
Moderator Emeritus
W2R's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: New Orleans
Posts: 47,468
My father died over 40 years ago of cancer, so he had several months to figure this out. He bought one of those little journal books with blank pages, and wrote down how to do everything he normally did around the house, how to handle the investments, and who my Mom should ask if she had questions or needed assistance. Mom studied it carefully and said it was very helpful. She gradually got help with some of these tasks but this got her through the first two or three years.
__________________
Already we are boldly launched upon the deep; but soon we shall be lost in its unshored, harbourless immensities. - - H. Melville, 1851.

Happily retired since 2009, at age 61. Best years of my life by far!
W2R is offline   Reply With Quote
I'm Dead, Now What?
Old 05-28-2023, 05:26 PM   #8
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Calico's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 2,911
I'm Dead, Now What?

I have one of these on order. Being single, I need to leave behind instructions on what needs to be done after I'm gone.

https://www.amazon.com/Important-Inf...xpY2s9dHJ1ZQ==
__________________
"Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for." - Epicurus
Calico is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-28-2023, 05:26 PM   #9
Full time employment: Posting here.
Whisper66's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Houston
Posts: 957
Similar situation. Here’s what we’ve done:
(1) Taxes - we hire a CPA we both know to do them for us
(2) Retirement Financial Plan - I wrote our plan for how to invest during retirement and how we pay for retirement. I update it yearly and review it with her.
(3) Finances - simplified all finances into one investment company plus one bank. Insisted Vanguard provide a Flagship rep who I’ve introduced to my wife. She knows she can let VG manage our investment account if needed. However, I review our investments with her quarterly and have had her execute online some of the few buy/sells we’ve done. Shes pretty comfortable she can manage this if I pass.
(4) Monthly household expenses - she’s done this before and would be ok doing them if I pass.
(5) Estate book - I also put together a notebook of the things an executor may need if I or both of us pass. Lists investment accounts, bank account, bills to be paid, location of deeds, contacts (ex: lawyer and cpa), wills, etc,etc…
Good to be thinking about this stuff when we are still healthy and under no immediate pressures.
__________________
"Learn everyday, but especially from the experiences of others. It's cheaper! " - John Bogle
Whisper66 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-28-2023, 05:31 PM   #10
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: Feb 2021
Posts: 2,324
Quote:
Originally Posted by Whisper66 View Post
simplified all finances into one investment company plus one bank.
This is a big one. We haven't gotten it quite that simple yet but over the past few years, I have consolidated quite a bit and eliminated multiple institutions, bringing as much as I could into Vanguard which now holds over 2/3 of our portfolio. Once I fully retire, I'll roll over my 401k so that will be there as well.


If nothing else, she could always reach out to them and connect with one of their advisors if she has questions or needs help she can't get elsewhere.
disneysteve is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-28-2023, 05:32 PM   #11
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
skyking1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2021
Location: Puget Sound
Posts: 3,191
Yes, I do the money
1) Roth convert her 403b/401k as much as possible in the next 7 years
2) simplify her Roth investments to a single investment company.
3)My pension will be with 100% survivor benefit.
4) I take SS at 70 to maximize survivor benefit.
__________________
Class of 2023
OMY to 2024
Operating Engineer for a commercial plumbing contractor
skyking1 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-28-2023, 06:03 PM   #12
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 8,332
Quote:
Originally Posted by W2R View Post
My father died over 40 years ago of cancer, so he had several months to figure this out. He bought one of those little journal books with blank pages, and wrote down how to do everything he normally did around the house, how to handle the investments, and who my Mom should ask if she had questions or needed assistance. Mom studied it carefully and said it was very helpful. She gradually got help with some of these tasks but this got her through the first two or three years.
I think that in addition to finances, there's a thousand little things "around the house" that are equally important.

How the fuse box works, how to run the sprinkler system, what to do when the garage door won't close, winterizing the outside faucets, rebooting the routers, changing the timers....a hundred little things I call my "magic tricks" that keep a household running without having to call a handyman each time.
marko is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-28-2023, 06:28 PM   #13
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Souschef's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Santa Paula
Posts: 4,067
Quote:
Originally Posted by marko View Post
I think that in addition to finances, there's a thousand little things "around the house" that are equally important.

How the fuse box works, how to run the sprinkler system, what to do when the garage door won't close, winterizing the outside faucets, rebooting the routers, changing the timers....a hundred little things I call my "magic tricks" that keep a household running without having to call a handyman each time.

Marko, thank you for giving me a light bulb moment. I just turned 85, and DW will be 80 late this year.
We had been living in a manufactured home in a +55 MHP, and in a real BTD we are now in a brand new apartment at the beach.
In the MHP, I was taking care of the outside and whatever maintenance was needed inside. Now I do not have to worry.
We have an estate planning binder prepared by a lawyer that has POA's for both of us along with pour over wills.
In the sleeve in front of the binder is a list of all accounts, a list of our passwords, and the name, address, and phone number of all out financial institutions.
__________________
Retired Jan 2009 Have not looked back.
AA 60/35/5 considering SS and pensions a SP annuity
WR 2% with 2SS & 2 Pensions
Souschef is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-28-2023, 06:35 PM   #14
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: Aug 2018
Posts: 1,001
Quote:
Originally Posted by marko View Post
I think that in addition to finances, there's a thousand little things "around the house" that are equally important.

How the fuse box works, how to run the sprinkler system, what to do when the garage door won't close, winterizing the outside faucets, rebooting the routers, changing the timers....a hundred little things I call my "magic tricks" that keep a household running without having to call a handyman each time.
We created what we call our "End of Life Binder". It lists all of our assets, routine bills, insurance policies, financial accounts, doctors, and final wishes. We have also started to include instructions for items like the ones marko has listed as we think of them.

It will help my wife if I die first, and it will help whoever cleans up the mess if we both die at the same time.
__________________
"Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible." - Dalai Lama
Lewis Clark is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-28-2023, 07:25 PM   #15
Moderator Emeritus
Ronstar's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Northern Illinois
Posts: 16,543
I was thinking about this a couple of weeks ago (including the sprinkler system a la Marko).

DW has her IRA with an FA. I manage half of mine (tIRA and Roth) and put the other half (tIRA) with DW's FA to appease her. I also manage taxable investments that DW knows about yet has little interest in.

I'm thinking about putting everything with DW's FA just to simplify matters.
Ronstar is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-28-2023, 07:53 PM   #16
Recycles dryer sheets
Jeb-NY's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Lost State of Franklin
Posts: 422
I created a Dead Book on the computer years ago and keep adding to it. After finding a ring notebook my Mother stuffed everything she thought was important that made settling her estate easier, I started one of those including the latest printout of the Dead Book. I print out my Password file for all my accounts and put it in the safe at least once a year and my wife has passwords to important things in her passed safe on her computer along with the combination to the safe.

With some of the comments I may add a few more items to the Dead Book. I do need to cover electronic bill paying with her so she has at least done it. One of the thing in the Dead Book is the number to convert our investments to an advisor managed if she needs to but explain why it is setup the way it is and suggest to do nothing to it for at least 6 months then decide if it is necessary to make it actively managed. Everything is setup for joint ownership or passed to the survivor. She has always said she would go first so she didn't need to learn all of my side but I'm the one that has had health problems lately.
Jeb-NY is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-28-2023, 07:54 PM   #17
Recycles dryer sheets
 
Join Date: Jul 2018
Location: Anaheim
Posts: 229
Same boat. So far I've showed her where to find the passwords and accounts. Went through taxes together this year.

I like the binder idea.
Pointby2 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-28-2023, 09:49 PM   #18
Moderator Emeritus
W2R's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: New Orleans
Posts: 47,468
Quote:
Originally Posted by marko View Post
I think that in addition to finances, there's a thousand little things "around the house" that are equally important.

How the fuse box works, how to run the sprinkler system, what to do when the garage door won't close, winterizing the outside faucets, rebooting the routers, changing the timers....a hundred little things I call my "magic tricks" that keep a household running without having to call a handyman each time.
Exactly! He wrote down how to do all those things. There were so many things that he always did and she had never had any reason to try doing them. Then during the few months he had left, Mom read what he had written about how to do these things and learned to do most of them. He was an excellent writer so his instructions were pretty clear, but she was able to further clarify a few things in discussions with him while he was still alive, and she did many of them at least once before he died. I know this all sounds heartless and cold, but it was quite the opposite.

He always did the taxes too, and they were very complicated so I'm pretty sure she couldn't figure out how how he did them. But, my two brothers were both CPA's so one or the other would fly out there to help her with taxes.
__________________
Already we are boldly launched upon the deep; but soon we shall be lost in its unshored, harbourless immensities. - - H. Melville, 1851.

Happily retired since 2009, at age 61. Best years of my life by far!
W2R is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-29-2023, 06:30 AM   #19
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 1,644
We have vastly simplified our holdings. Either of us is capable of handling - actually, there isn't much "handling" required.

I do the taxes but I have already identified a local firm to turn it over if I am no longer capable.
jebmke is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-29-2023, 06:41 AM   #20
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
jollystomper's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 6,098
For bills, we sit together monthly and DW goes through the payment process. It takes much much longer than if I just did them, but it is worth reinforcing to her what has to be paid and how. I also maintain a spreadsheet for her for all of our bills, showing which monthly bey must be paid in and the due date within the month.

For finances, she has access to all accounts. I make sure she logs on quarterly to each one.I am simplifying our financial life, we are down to 3 firms for investments and 4 banks. The investments are simplified so that she does not have to do anything, and can just "let things ride". There will be enough cash to make it unnecessary to touch investments. I am still educating her on the RMD concept and what to do if I am not around when those have to be taken.I also maintain for her a document showing the transfer linkages between the accounts.

She has access to my desktop and knows where things such as the password database app is located, and has access to all of my email accounts.

We have also (though 90% of it is my input) created a detailed "estate" document for our children, but she says she also finds it helpful for herself. It includes the financial information above, as well as key information about our house from a homeowners perspective. I try to update it several times a year.

Taxes might be the biggest challenge. I need to have her walk through our tax software. Fortunately we do not have a complex tax return, but math is a challenge for her. This is an area she might have to get help in. Two of our kids are good in doing taxes, one of whom owns a business, so they will be available to help her.

I am more concerned about certain of her relatives and "friends" who may show up and try to tug on her generosity. There are at least 2 who are being held at bay because they know I do not stand for things like that - but if I am gone, I am sure they will try to guilt her into helping them out. She knows enough not to let anyone move into the house, but there will be pressure for that as well as finances that I can only warn her about so much.
__________________
FIREd date: June 26, 2018 - "This Happy Feeling, Going Round and Round!" (GQ)
jollystomper is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
My business partner is more moody than a woman! thefed Other topics 7 08-21-2007 08:40 AM
Partner not as financially responsible Sillysal Young Dreamers 39 07-02-2005 02:11 PM
Blending finances with new spouse / partner Caroline Hi, I am... 28 04-19-2005 02:38 PM

» Quick Links

 
All times are GMT -6. The time now is 02:42 AM.
 
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.