Poll: Do You have Separate Accounts or Joint for ALL Assets?

[tb001]

For us, for retirement purposes it’s one big pot of money. Obviously iras and 401ks are held differently but the bulk of our assets are jointly held. I think having our own accounts just allows for a bit more independence. I don’t want scrutiny over how much I’m willing to spend on towels or good sheets and I’m guessing he feels the same on his spend on airline upgrades... He bought a car once without telling me—that led to some discussion... But other than things like that, we’ve both been on our own for so much of our life that I can’t imagine having to have to justify to someone else why or how I want to spend money. It would be different if one of us were frivolous or spending beyond our means.

 

[Retch The Grate]

We have our own retirement savings, our own bank accounts, and a shared bank account that we both fund each month. We've pretty much moved to paying for almost all expenses out of the shared account, but it is definitely something that we actively manage moving money into to keep it topped up.

 

[bclover]

We had both. we got married in our mid 20's and had been on our own for a while. We got a joint account for our household expenses but we each kept separate accounts also.

We also kept separate credit card accounts.

30 years married, so it worked for us. the old guy handled all the retirement savings and investing except for our 401K employment stuff that had to be separate.

 

[DEC-1982]

After reading the two or one car post, and seeing a few folk like their own cars, I thought this would be a good topic / poll.

Everything we have is joint and has been ever since we got married over 30 years ago. All except IRA, 401k and 427b accounts of course. But our beneficiaries are each other on those.

We have friends that adamantly maintain His & Her moneys and would not think about doing otherwise, others are like us. I just find it a lot easier and we NEVER argue about money as a result.

Same as you. How other people (friends) manage their money has not really come up in all the years of conversations.

 

[athena53]

I don’t want scrutiny over how much I’m willing to spend on towels or good sheets and I’m guessing he feels the same on his spend on airline upgrades... He bought a car once without telling me—that led to some discussion...

Oh, yeah, THAT would have led to a discussion in our household, too! I was the wage earner (we married when I was 50 and he was 65) but I don't think either of us ever spent more than $200 on a "splurge" type item without mentioning it to the other first (and the answer was always, "Sounds good- go for it!).

We used to joke about couples where one gave the other a big, shiny new car as a Christmas or birthday gift. For us, committing that much of the resources, no matter whose name was on them and no matter whether it was cash or borrowed, with no agreement beforehand, was unthinkable.

 

[Walt34]

He bought a car once without telling me—that led to some discussion...

That would sure lead to some animated discussion here too!

Like many, anything over ~$200 gets at least mentioned, not asking permission, but more of a scheduling matter if the other has any upcoming expectations of spending that may lead to a shortage if not scheduled right. We're both very much on the same page when it comes to spending so there is very rarely any conflict.

 

[Koogie]

All completely separate.

Whats hers is hers and whats mine is ours.

 

[aja8888]

We have been together 18 years and living together 16 years . Investments are separate but household things are combined and the rest is up for grabs .It works for us but it is a weird system. We were both married before and met in our early 50's

Exactly the same for us except we have been together 20 years.

 

[Sarpy]

We have a his, her and general checking accounts. I don't look at or question a single thing about her account nor does she question my account, we discuss only the general account. Granted all of thees accounts are joint but that does not give either of us the right to micro manage the other. Personal slush funds have always kept peace in the household, it has worked from day one and in September it will be 32 years.

Same here, and it's worked great for years. We each have an 'allowance' and can do whatever we want with it...the balance goes into the 'Fund' which pays all the bills.

This topic came up last week while we were camping with other couples...we were the only ones who used separate his & her accounts, and a few in the group had never heard of it before.

 

[ScottS]

Joint accounts till 2 years ago when the ex-wife emptied the checking account and maxed the heloc in the same day.
If I have another long term relationship in the future the only joint account will be for shared household expenses. I will never put myself in a situation where another can significantly damage my financial situation.

 

[Niuatoputapu]

Married 31 years. Everything is joint, but, DW only wants to know if we have "enough" and is happy to ignore all details as long as I respond Yes. For years she joked about the fact I forced her to give money to some guy named IRA. In later years, he became Ira Roth.
She made me promise to die second, so she does not have to deal with anything financial. I make sure everything is well documented and the children know where to find the documentation.

 

[athena53]

Joint accounts till 2 years ago when the ex-wife emptied the checking account and maxed the heloc in the same day.
If I have another long term relationship in the future the only joint account will be for shared household expenses. I will never put myself in a situation where another can significantly damage my financial situation.

Sorry to read about your Ex's actions. You don't even need a joint account for household expenses. In both of my marriages, my husband gave me a check each month (one an estimate of his share of the expenses, the other whatever was left of his last SS check when the next one came in) and I paid all the bills from an account in my name only. As I've said, I'm a financial control freak. My first marriage only reinforced that because my Ex was so irresponsible. I left that marriage with a credit rating good enough to get a mortgage on another house. Can't say the same for him.

 

[HF63]

We have separate bank accounts and separate credit cards.


I help support my mother and she does the same with her family, never argue about money.

 

[AltaRed]

Mostly separate since we met late(r) in life as empty nesters/retirees. Hers is hers and mine is mine the way it should be for eventual legacies to our respective heirs. Even our house is tenants-in-common title rather than joint tenancy for the same reason.


We do have one joint chequing account and one joint credit card for household expenses and we each contribute a share of funds once a month to the joint chequing account.

 

[ugeauxgirl]

Mostly separate since we met late(r) in life as empty nesters/retirees. Hers is hers and mine is mine the way it should be

DH and I have a running joke about this. I went in and set up the online access to MY checking account, and nicknamed it- UGEAUXGIRL's checking. Later, I added his, but didn't personalize the name of the account. He started laughing about it after I showed him how to log in- as both of our checking are technically joint accounts- it shows up as UGEAUXGIRL's account and JOINT (obviously the default name). I heard him tell a friend (laughing) about the incident- whats hers is hers and what's mine is ours...

 

[Katsmeow]

Do you mean do we any separate accounts or are you asking if we only or predominantly have separate accounts. We mostly have joint accounts. However, we each had at least one or two credit cards when we got married that are separate. (In one instance DH is an authorized user on one them -- otherwise separate).

We do have mostly joint banking accounts. Most of our investment money is in IRAs/401k's which are necessarily separate. We do put draws into our joint account. I do have a separate bank account for the money from my mom's estate.

 

[karen1972]

We are not married, so we have separate accounts with a joint household account for food/housing/fuel/entertainment but we have a shared budget and its all in quicken together so there are no secrets.

We both have very different spending habits so even if we do get married, I'd still prefer to keep separate accounts for discretionary spending. ie I can spend $100 at the pet store for toys for my foster cats and he can spend $100 on craft beer and neither of us care as long as it stays within the discretionary budget in our own personal accounts.

 

[dr watson]

Joint all the way here. Married 22 years. Very surprised separating assets is as common as it is. It seems like in the back of your mind the marriage might not work out so let me keep one toe out the door in case I have to bolt. Could it be a self fulfilling prophecy?
What is the logical conclusion of this? One spouse saves more and has a better retirement? Lives in a better assisted living facility? Orders the lobster while the other gets a cheeseburger?

 

[Original Wally]

We married young (19) and had our net worth then depended on how full or empty the gas tank was. We are in Calif, a full Community Property state. So, except for a modest (50k?) inheritance YEARS ago we are completely Community Property. Hence, all accounts are Joint. EXCEPT the IRA is in my name, but she DOES have a 50% interest in it if we ever divorced. (Married 45 years last month)

 

[aja8888]

We married young (19) and had our net worth then depended on how full or empty the gas tank was. We are in Calif, a full Community Property state. So, except for a modest (50k?) inheritance YEARS ago we are completely Community Property. Hence, all accounts are Joint. EXCEPT the IRA is in my name, but she DOES have a 50% interest in it if we ever divorced. (Married 45 years last month)

One thing I learned in SPADES during my California divorce is that community property does not necessarily mean a 50 - 50 asset split when things fall apart.

 

[wmc1000]

Joint accounts for the 42 years we have been married. Still have check registers from when before our marriage when we were in college and I noted when I loaned future DW money and when she paid me back.