MooreBonds
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Regarding the prenup - we had a talk a couple days ago about it. It didn't go we'll at all hah. Almost gave the ring back. She says she's upset about not being a partner and that it will divide a wall between us. Not protecting the assets part. But I told her its what I need and am willing to form an agreement with her before even approaching attorneys. So the compromise so far is all real estate and investments owned prior to marriage is separate property. Bank accounts, primary house etc can be marital. It will be wise of me to make sure almost all my wealth is tied up and the primary house is already bought and is a modest home before actually doing the wedding. I'll just never put any proceeds from a house if I sell it into our joint accounts. It kinda sucks that's how it has to be, but I'd be so unbelievably mad at myself if it didn't protect myself and I got screwed.
Any more tips, please bring me on, thanks again!
Wow - congrats on bringing up that sensitive topic! I personally keep going back and forth on it - I do see how it is "planning for failure before something even starts"...but at the same time, I made pretty big excessive sacrifices that almost no one else my age would have made with the opportunities I've had, and I'll be damned if someone might take half (or more!) of all of that.
Just one bit of advice: make 110% sure you completely understand how courts typically rule on things that are spelled out in a pre-nup, regarding assets which are later sold (like if you sell a rental home and redeploy the assets elsewhere, whether it's in real estate or equity/bond investments). You'd probably need to have a separate company formed with its own checking account, CPA, etc., in order to do your best to keep it as separate as possible.
Also - as I've noted before, there's a LOT we don't know about your and your fiance's exact relationship, but you must pay attention to various clues and behavior. Remember that communication is more NON-verbal than verbal. If she demanded a $1MM house, know that she's likely going to be no different on other tastes/expenditure decisions later on.
And replay how the pre-nup talk went in your head to analyze it. You say "she almost gave the ring back" - pay close attention to how you brought it up, what she said, how she said it, what words/actions she used, and whether it was just a ploy to try and manipulate you into caving and reneging on the pre-nup, or if it is truly just an honest girl who has no ulterior motives and was only looking at it from a romantic perspective. Did she simply emotionally react and try to steamroll you into submission...or did she initially react, and then somewhat calmly discuss the topic with you? Did you have to grit your teeth and barely suggest some things inbetween her outbursts and demands, or was she open to going back and forth with what would be "yours" and what would be "marital property"? There are many honest people out there, but also many manipulators and users (male as well as female). If she has any idea of the assets you have, it shouldn't have come as a surprise to her at all that you brought the subject up. If you had just $200k, yes, it could be a surprise, since most of your earnings would come after marriage...but for someone with an $8MM portfolio who is looking to retire soon after (or even before) getting married, it shouldn't be a shock at all - unless you had previously told her that you don't believe in pre-nups.
IMO, a truly loving, understanding potential spouse (who would truly be your teammate in life) would at least be half aware that such an apparent HUGE disparity between your assets and hers would beg the topic of a pre-nup at some point. It's not like you'd be the 10th couple in the history of the world with a pre-nup. Just as she was 'offended' at you even bringing up the subject of a pre-nup, YOU have every right to equally be 'offended' that someone with apparently zero assets would balk at (and even get the point of almost giving back your ring!) relinquishing rights to seizing half of your assets down the road if she walked.
I am a little confused at your statement about
She says she's upset about not being a partner and that it will divide a wall between us. Not protecting the assets part
Was she trying to argue that she's offended by a pre-nup strictly on the grounds of it making the two of you "not partners", and that her offendedness has nothing to do with you protecting your assets
HA! (sorry, couldn't help myself)....was the topic of your pre-nup discussion about other requirements (like "the pre-nup would allow me to take a 2 month long vacation without you once a year" and you'll have to put up with it), or was the pre-nup discussion strictly centered around your assets? If the later, I don't really see what her offense was, if her displeasure with a pre-nup has nothing to do with your assets...since that's ALL it's about! Again, I know pretty much nothing about you nor your fiance....but if someone tries to use the line of "A pre-nup offends me because it puts a wall between us, and it has nothing to do with your assets", I would be a little wary - because a prenup (in most cases) is precisely all about your assets and only your assets (unless you had children you were bringing into a marriage, for instance). For her to say "I don't want your money, and I don't care about your money....but a pre-nup would put a wall between our partnership" is only trying to manipulate you into changing your mind, IMO, because all the pre-nup is about is your financial assets.