Lol, this can be a tough crowd sometimes. It’s a good place to vent your frustrations, and I feel for you. I did ask for the update, so thank you.
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- Thread starter 24601NoMore
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Lol, this can be a tough crowd sometimes. It’s a good place to vent your frustrations, and I feel for you. I did ask for the update, so thank you.
ivinsfan
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
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What you are going to leave us hanging after all this. You got 125 posts of people giving you some empathy, sharing their own stories of trouble pulling the trigger, telling you how wonderful it feels to finally be free and of course those you told you no job is worth dying for.
Yet your followup to your followup to your drop dead deadline is a rehash of post number one. What more can we say?
After reading this whole thread, I think you really need to talk to a professional about this. You seem to want to move forward but just can't do it. If you don't do something, nature will decide for you in the form of a heart attack or something else.
All anyone on this thread wants for you is the best. We all worry about you. Just so you know we do care, but only you can make the decision where your life goes from here.
We are all here cheering you on.
God bless you and good luck.
Unpaintedhuffhines
Recycles dryer sheets
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OP, I feel your pain. Coming from a place of nothing to now something, and to walk away from a steady paycheck...what are you, crazy?!?
My FIL is 86. He's a high up University Professor. He just retired this week. Why did he work so long? Because he wanted to leave $ for his kids. Great, except we don't need it. His attitude is as long as you can make good money, why would you leave? When I pull the plug in a year or two (at age <60), he's going to look at me like I have lobsters crawling out of my ears, especially knowing how much money I make.
We are all going to leave something on the table. Ultimately it's a choice between money and your life. Early on, most of us don't have a choice - the money is not there to be FI, but later, many of us have that choice. You have that choice right now. There will always be that one more thing you want to fund right around the corner, or that stock that vests that is just "two months away."
I hope you find peace. I know the struggle is difficult. Here's hoping that you make the right choice for you and your family.
My FIL is 86. He's a high up University Professor. He just retired this week. Why did he work so long? Because he wanted to leave $ for his kids. Great, except we don't need it. His attitude is as long as you can make good money, why would you leave? When I pull the plug in a year or two (at age <60), he's going to look at me like I have lobsters crawling out of my ears, especially knowing how much money I make.
We are all going to leave something on the table. Ultimately it's a choice between money and your life. Early on, most of us don't have a choice - the money is not there to be FI, but later, many of us have that choice. You have that choice right now. There will always be that one more thing you want to fund right around the corner, or that stock that vests that is just "two months away."
I hope you find peace. I know the struggle is difficult. Here's hoping that you make the right choice for you and your family.
24601NoMore
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
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Gave notice this morning. Boss did not seem surprised, nor did he make any effort to convince me to stay. He actually asked if I wanted to be done today or two weeks out. Told him I have a hundred balls in the air (which I do) and that I was not going to just dump everything on them. I'm still a professional - at least for two more weeks. But I in a way do wish I just took door #1 and said "today, thanks".
What's really weird is my Director who originally hired me at the company has not called. Thought he might just make some level of effort to keep me. Nope. Guess I now know where I really did stand and what they thought of me.
Wife was working at home today and I said "what did I just DO?" and she said "you just saved your life". Best friend texted his congrats and said "you just took a GIANT first step to reclaim your life, health and happiness".
Appreciate all the help. Now all I have to do is not freak out and all will be well.
- RS
What's really weird is my Director who originally hired me at the company has not called. Thought he might just make some level of effort to keep me. Nope. Guess I now know where I really did stand and what they thought of me.
Wife was working at home today and I said "what did I just DO?" and she said "you just saved your life". Best friend texted his congrats and said "you just took a GIANT first step to reclaim your life, health and happiness".
Appreciate all the help. Now all I have to do is not freak out and all will be well.
- RS
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pacergal
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
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Good for you.
If your boss was comfortable asking if you wanted to be done today, he must have others who can take over those "hundred balls in the air". He gave you the option, and now you wish you had taken it. Any chance to go back and say "i'm outta here!"?
Start living your life--enjoy!!
If your boss was comfortable asking if you wanted to be done today, he must have others who can take over those "hundred balls in the air". He gave you the option, and now you wish you had taken it. Any chance to go back and say "i'm outta here!"?
Start living your life--enjoy!!
ivinsfan
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
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Thanks for the update, believe me now you have made the decision you will start to feel better..Check in Monday and tell us how you feel...Congrats and listen to your spouse....
Sounds like you have a keeper she is concerned about your welfare and 100% with you on this.24601NoMore
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
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Actually, he doesn't have others who can pick it up. Everyone is working 80+ hours a week and is slammed silly. Plus, we just lost 2 other people (one pushed out to another job in the company and one who voluntarily took another role in the company) so they are down 2 horses on what was a pretty small team to begin with. I think he just didn't know what I was going to do or what to expect..if I did dump it all on them, it'd crush the people remaining - and I'm still professional..
ivinsfan
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
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This all might be true but it's not on your shoulders.....stick to your plan and don't worry about what happens when you are gone..
24601NoMore
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I could still use the 2 remaining weeks of income and healthcare coverage. Not huge in the grand scheme of things but when the W-2 spigot is turning off for good, I'll take every penny I can get..plus, I'm somewhat old fashioned in that you don't just walk out the door and try to transition things professionally.
24601NoMore
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I did take the rest of today off and sure enjoyed spending an hour at the local park. I can get used to that..surprised how many people of working age were there. Guess it is a Friday. Will be interesting to see it on a Tuesday..
24601NoMore
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Hey, that's a good call. How do you do that?
corn18
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Congrats! I know this wasn't easy. Not sure I would have any more courage to do it any differently, so I empathize with your struggle. Don't burn any bridges on the way out in case the market tanks next week and you need some PT work.
REWahoo
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give
Send a PM to one of the mods, explain why you want to change and what new handle you want.
.Congratulations Retire Soon for making your decision. You will NOT regret it. I admire you for wanting to stay and try to leave everyone in the best spot that you can. Just remember, they survived before you came and the company will survive after you leave. I had to keep reminding DH about that. Now he says he wished he didn't worry so much about it because the company is still moving along without him. (3.5 years later).
Best wishes for your new life and you will be amazed at how much better your health and heart are in a few weeks.
Enjoy!
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Congrats! I have to say I was skeptical, but very happy to hear you've pulled the plug.
Now, a quick preview of your next two weeks:
That Dir. who hasn't called? Get used to that. You are dead man walking now. Just chin up and do your thing, keep your head high. Some people get really odd when others leave, as you've probably seen, but it feels odder when it's you.
That work you know you have to get finished? Half of it, your boss might just swipe it from you - cancel you from meeting invites, etc. "But but no one else knows what to do!!!!" - yes they do, or they'll figure it out, or not, their decision. Let them take whatever they want. Don't fight it. Breathe deeply.
To those who you don't already count on as outside-office friends, prep a quick answer to "what are you going to do now?" that answers politely and closes off the question. Have something prepared like "Hah, that's what my wife wants to know, but we have some personal things planned." - the kind of thing that is will make 95% of people know they are just being nosy and won't push. And for the 5% that do, just something like "oh I won't bore you, hey gotta get this report done now!" etc.
Those that you do like and would like to keep in your personal network? Find time for lunch or coffee with them before you go. I remember those last several informal chats with people I respected and liked, and I'm really glad I found the time, the rest of those last weeks is a blur.
You will have some very uncomfortable moments as well as some really great ones, over these next two weeks. You will second guess yourself, but it will all be ok.
Now, a quick preview of your next two weeks:
That Dir. who hasn't called? Get used to that. You are dead man walking now. Just chin up and do your thing, keep your head high. Some people get really odd when others leave, as you've probably seen, but it feels odder when it's you.
That work you know you have to get finished? Half of it, your boss might just swipe it from you - cancel you from meeting invites, etc. "But but no one else knows what to do!!!!" - yes they do, or they'll figure it out, or not, their decision. Let them take whatever they want. Don't fight it. Breathe deeply.
To those who you don't already count on as outside-office friends, prep a quick answer to "what are you going to do now?" that answers politely and closes off the question. Have something prepared like "Hah, that's what my wife wants to know, but we have some personal things planned." - the kind of thing that is will make 95% of people know they are just being nosy and won't push. And for the 5% that do, just something like "oh I won't bore you, hey gotta get this report done now!" etc.
Those that you do like and would like to keep in your personal network? Find time for lunch or coffee with them before you go. I remember those last several informal chats with people I respected and liked, and I'm really glad I found the time, the rest of those last weeks is a blur.
You will have some very uncomfortable moments as well as some really great ones, over these next two weeks. You will second guess yourself, but it will all be ok.
Retch The Grate
Full time employment: Posting here.
Congrats! 
HarveyS
Full time employment: Posting here.
Thank you for taking this action. You won't regret it. I fully agree with Aerides. Some people you would expect to hear from will be silent, while others who you would never guess would be interested will surprise you with a call or a note.
I am proud of you for putting yourself and your family first.
I am proud of you for putting yourself and your family first.
Christine
Full time employment: Posting here.
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Well done! Congratulations!
