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Old 09-16-2023, 08:28 AM   #21
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Ah, I was wondering about that!

To those saying set this aside for now, sometimes this is how people deal with situations like this. With so much you aren't in control of, making a decision on something you do control can be helpful and it's an easy thing to check off. Besides, you are looking at this logically, not emotionally, which is good.

You really think this is true? We don't know IMA personally but it would take a very very unusual person to look at this with no emotion involved. My advice about waiting was based on the premise that SS is just one income source and it would be in her best interest to look at the entire picture when she feels able. Not saying she shouldn't think about finances, it's natural to think about all kinds of stuff your spouse has been diagnosed with a terminal illness.
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Old 09-16-2023, 11:53 AM   #22
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There are several drug trials for this particular kind of cancer. I know of one through Vanderbilt Hospital in Nashville, TN. You might check with them and see if there is one closer to you. I do know that they were planning to expand the drug trials.
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Old 09-16-2023, 12:12 PM   #23
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I've mentioned several times that my BFF passed suddenly. I am so proud of his DW for beginning to pick up the pieces and take charge of her finances. Since his death a couple of months ago, she has gotten rid of his two "toy cars" (a race Vette and a hot Camaro.) Additionally, she has dealt with all the small amounts of insurance he was entitled to. She's contacted SS to begin receiving his larger payment (and dropping her payment.) She has also applied for his share of his pension (1/2 his.)

She admits to every once in a while, letting her emotions out by sitting down for a good cry. Then she gets back at it - dealing with home maintenance issues (mowing, etc. that BFF used to do.)

All in all, she is adapting to a financial life she knew very little about. I've tried to help as much as possible - even slipping her a grand to help with funeral expenses.

Emotions are best dealt with in my opinion. There's nothing wrong with letting feelings be expressed. Then adapt to whatever situation must be dealt with.

We have (had) good friends in our building (and our church) and she had glio. He still w*rked so we were so glad to be able to help out while he was at w*rk or off Island. Never be ashamed or hesitant to call on friends. They WANT to help.

I don't know if this helps, but other than the treatments, she did not really suffer very much.

Blessings to Ima. If you want to vent here (or not) then we are here for you. Many here are really good about finances and we are free (so remember what you get is worth what you pay.)



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Old 09-16-2023, 12:31 PM   #24
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I don't have any financial wisdom, but officering our thoughts and Prayer for what you're facing.
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Old 09-16-2023, 01:08 PM   #25
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You really think this is true? We don't know IMA personally but it would take a very very unusual person to look at this with no emotion involved. My advice about waiting was based on the premise that SS is just one income source and it would be in her best interest to look at the entire picture when she feels able. Not saying she shouldn't think about finances, it's natural to think about all kinds of stuff your spouse has been diagnosed with a terminal illness.
ImaC's decision making process looks solid. If waiting until you have no emotions involved in when to take SS, I doubt anyone would pass that requirement!
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Old 09-16-2023, 03:24 PM   #26
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Your husband is most fortunate to have you by his side. Wishing you both strength and moments of joy amid the difficulties you're facing.
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Old 09-16-2023, 03:50 PM   #27
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ImaC's decision making process looks solid. If waiting until you have no emotions involved in when to take SS, I doubt anyone would pass that requirement!



I wish them both the best as they start making these decisions..
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Old 09-16-2023, 10:25 PM   #28
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Very sorry for your news.

I would be inclined to try to get a referral to a good financial consultant/tax accountant who is well versed in the financial issues that you are facing.

At best he or she will be able to recommend a course of action for you given you financial situation and future tax considerations.

You will have enough on your plate in the next little while. Now it the time to try and sort this, along with other legal issues, out in order to ease the burden as you move forward.
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Old 09-17-2023, 12:10 AM   #29
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Decision making is not always binary. It is not necessarily final. For example, I can decide to wait for SS and see the benefit boosted each year. But I can change my mind between now and 70.

The best advice is not always what I think, or what is standard. Recommendations about assessing other related factors makes sense to me.
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Old 09-17-2023, 06:39 AM   #30
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Numbers and finance are the easiest pieces of my life to think about right now, TBH. Assets and expenses are relatively finite. Everything else is spinning wildly out of control and there is no likely clarity coming anytime soon.

I have always been the planner/manager in our relationship as he had no interest in any of it, so luckily I don’t have to learn that on top of everything else
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Old 09-17-2023, 03:28 PM   #31
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I am so sorry to hear about your DH diagnosis.
Hoping he gets the best care and treatment.
Unfortunately, can’t give advice on SS, I need to get up to speed on the complex rules.
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Old 09-17-2023, 10:24 PM   #32
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Numbers and finance are the easiest pieces of my life to think about right now, TBH. Assets and expenses are relatively finite. Everything else is spinning wildly out of control and there is no likely clarity coming anytime soon.

I have always been the planner/manager in our relationship as he had no interest in any of it, so luckily I don’t have to learn that on top of everything else

You will find that, just like in all the difficult things in life, you will do what needs to be done. Clarity will come - maybe slowly, but it will come. Blessings to you and your husband.
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Old 09-17-2023, 11:27 PM   #33
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Sorry to hear this news. Sending thoughts of peace and comfort to you and your husband.
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Old 09-18-2023, 02:37 AM   #34
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As things spin wildly out of control, lean on those around who are caring and informative.

It helped me to know there was what came before, and what was in front of us. That and other ideas are mentioned here: https://www.npr.org/2021/02/07/96501...ncer-diagnosis

Many things that you come across may not exactly fit your experiences. But I always could find one building block for the future.

Drug trials and so on should be mentioned by the oncologist somewhere along the way. Definitely stay connected to every resource that appears along the way. Write down what you hear, and ask for clarification if some information is not clear.
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Old 09-18-2023, 06:48 AM   #35
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I send you all best wishes possible. My only advice is this: you have more important things to worry about than social security strategy. Just as you wouldn’t manage your DH’s care on our advice you shouldn’t manage your finances that way either. No matter how independent the two of you have been up til now, now is the time to get a very good fee based advisor who can present you with clear options and help you through decisions - exactly as the doctors are doing with health.

Your own self care should be your #1 priority. Put your oxygen mask on before helping others. Rely on friends. Find a counselor or pastor or whatever type of advisor works best for you. Find ways of getting rest and exercise and good nutrition yourself. Don’t stress over things that can easily be outsourced to others - like making a SS plan.

I am so sorry, and wish you and your husband peace and comfort as you battle this next phase of your long life together.
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Old 09-19-2023, 03:35 PM   #36
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If you have $3.3M then you don't need SS to live on.

So there is really no need to try to optimize what you'll get from lifetime SS.

So you might as well go ahead and file now.

This is why people file for SS at 62. Because stuff happens. If stuff doesn't happen, then your $3.3M will carry you through.
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Old 09-19-2023, 03:52 PM   #37
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If you have $3.3M then you don't need SS to live on.

So there is really no need to try to optimize what you'll get from lifetime SS.
Pure nonsense.
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Old 09-19-2023, 03:59 PM   #38
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I cannot offer financial wisdom, but wanted to express our condolences for this situation. We went through glioblastoma with my sister this last year and are so sorry for your husband's illness. Be gentle with yourselves in this difficult time.
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Old 09-19-2023, 04:02 PM   #39
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Lots of good answers here. I just want to say I am really sorry. I am 62 and just had a good friend suffer a life changing injury which means she will never walk a long distance again (she almost lost her leg). While this is not in the terminal illness category, it is another reminder that nothing is guaranteed and everything can change in an instant. You are able to think about what is best to do in this situation, which is more than most would be able to do. Sending hugs.
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Old 09-19-2023, 04:26 PM   #40
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I help out on a SS facebook group with over 42K members.

1) He should NOT file for SS. You want to ensure that this benefit is as large as possible for a surviving spouse benefit.
2) You should file at 62 but then bank that money because your ideal situation is to keep on that benefit until your Full Retirement Age at 67 and then transition to his benefit. His benefit would continue to grow with any applied COLAs BUT it will be reduced for life if you apply before your FRA. (this is assuming that his benefit is higher than yours even by age 70)
3) Or you could hold off filing for SS and then have more "window" available to convert funds from a pre-tax retirement account to Roth to avoid higher taxes/Medicare premium costs (IRMAA) later on. However, you would have to weigh this against getting fewer checks before transitioning to the other benefit.
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