Tough love: Cult or ER forum?

[LOL!]

An article about peer pressure is really needed to get folks to lose weight and other activities: A Team Approach to Weight Loss - NYTimes.com

I think you know the drill. You cannot have friends help you with all this, you need to have folks who can dish out tough love and disapproving comments when you stray. Friends who support you when you do something ill-advised are not helpful. I think it's similar to what this forum does. Note the comments about how the leader of a group can set the dynamic.

 

[TromboneAl]

But I've never seen any tough love or disapproving comments in any of the weight threads.

 

[HFWR]

But I've never seen any tough love or disapproving comments in any of the weight threads.

[-]Fatty, fatty, two-by-four...[/-]

Yeah, me neither...

 

[freebird5825]

But I've never seen any tough love or disapproving comments in any of the weight threads.

Ok, everyone put down the fork, willya ?

Just kidding.

I have my own weight maintenance struggles going on to ever think about being that mean. My ex-MIL drove a daughter to bulimia with that kind of nonsense.

 

[haha]

Ok, everyone put down the fork, willya ?

Just kidding.

I have my own weight maintenance struggles going on to ever think about being that mean. My ex-MIL drove a daughter to bulimia with that kind of nonsense.

The only time I ever spoke up to a friend about his behavior was when he was giving me some really nice clothes, including a shearling jacket that is strictly Marlboro country stuff.

He had been struggling with his wife, and I was afraid he might have been contemplating suicide. Turns out he was only planning to move to San Francisco and live with his girlfriend. He didn't want to tell me why he would no longer need warm a warm coat, as his wife and my wife taught aerobics together and were pretty good friends.

Never can tell what is going on, can you?

 

[JPatrick]

[-]Fatty, fatty, two-by-four...[/-]

Yeah, me neither...

[-]Couldn't get through the bathroom door[/-]

 

[haha]

[-]Couldn't get through the bathroom door[/-]

So she did it on the floor.

Cruelty? Children are good at it.

Looking back, the very few fatties of our childhoods would be considered svelte compared to today's kids.

Ha

 

[TromboneAl]

So she did it on the floor.

and wiped it up and did some more.

High class forum, huh?

 

[Nuiloa]

Actually, as a person who has joined every imaginable weight loss group imaginable (with the resultant weight gain every time), I was quite intrigued by this article.

Weight Watchers and Overeaters Anon. don't work for me - I don't do well in groups and being told what to do, or not do, just brings out the rebel in me. I also find that most of those groups just became hand-holding, recipe-trading, kumbaya-type sessions and it got old really fast.

The concept of competitive teams, on the other hand, is a great idea! What they don't say in the article is what happens when the competition ends. I guess, in theory, you feel so great about yourself that you don't regain the weight. In reality, though, I suspect most people would use the money to buy donuts.

IMHO

Nui

 

[JPatrick]

[-]Fatty, fatty, two-by-four...[/-]

Yeah, me neither...

[-]Couldn't get through the bathroom door[/-]

So she did it on the floor.


Ha

Well I knew it. Sooner or later this would get ugly.
Frankly, I just hope no one ends up losing an eye..

 

[freebird5825]

Well I knew it. Sooner or later this would get ugly.
Frankly, I just hope no one ends up losing an eye..

Hey, no running with scissors.

 

[Alan]

The concept of competitive teams, on the other hand, is a great idea! What they don't say in the article is what happens when the competition ends. I guess, in theory, you feel so great about yourself that you don't regain the weight. In reality, though, I suspect most people would use the money to buy donuts.

IMHO

Nui

When WW came to work I signed up, along with about 30 others, and paid my work subsidized fee of $50 for the 8 week session. One of the ladies asked who'd be prepared to go in for a competition, with teams of 4 randomly selected in a draw, $10 each, winner takes all with the team having the overall best % weight loss taking the pot. 24 of us signed up and the added pressure definitely helped as we looked at the league table each week. (All this was unofficial and under the table of course - I don't think WW or work management really wanted gambling going on.)

Our team won, so that first 8 meetings cost nothing, then the following 8-week session I made my goal and maintained it, making all future sessions free provided I stayed below my target.

Having money on the table to play for definitely helped motivate me.

 

[JPatrick]

Hey, no running with scissors.

Yeah, considering the floor is now slippery..

 

[Alan]

Having read the article I can see how the tough love approach can work. One of the most successful programs in improving safety in the workplace is called Behavior Based Safety, which has people randomly and formally studying how a fellow worker does his job. (This is in addition to the audits and checks done by the safety departments).

 

[freebird5825]

...Looking back, the very few fatties of our childhoods would be considered svelte compared to today's kids.

Ha

I remain ASTOUNDED at the epidemic of obesity of young children and young adults I see in public these days. It's not funny anymore, people.

I myself was larger in size than my female peers as a kid, but it was more a product of playing sports and doing physical w*rk than a sedentary lifestyle and overeating.

Extra pounds is one thing...but extra pounds plus no muscle tone at all ?

 

[Nuiloa]

Our team won, so that first 8 meetings cost nothing, then the following 8-week session I made my goal and maintained it, making all future sessions free provided I stayed below my target.

Having money on the table to play for definitely helped motivate me.

Way to go!

WW should seriously consider this as an option. At one OA meeting I attended, there was a competition for exercise minutes. I was swimming about 2 miles a day at that point, so I figured it was a slam-dunk. But I got so bored with the meetings (which were mostly about knitting) that I quit.

 

[Alan]

But I got so bored with the meetings (which were mostly about knitting) that I quit.

So would I

One good thing about the WW at our workplace was that there were a few guys who signed up each time, which I guess also added a different dimension to the group dynamics. I've never been to any weight loss group sessions other than those at work so I have no idea of the normal demographics.

 

[Nuiloa]

I remain ASTOUNDED at the epidemic of obesity of young children and young adults I see in public these days. It's not funny anymore, people.
Extra pounds is one thing...but extra pounds plus no muscle tone at all ?

I have helped to run a dance company for 25 years and I can tell you that I am appalled at what has been happening over the past decade. It used to be that we'd get one or two chubby kids a year. Now, we marvel if a skinny one walks in. I've seen kids so fat that they could not balance if they tried to put one foot out in front of them.

Parents will sit and watch the kids dance and rush to feed them high-cal drinks, fruit strips, candy, chips, and just plain garbage every time the instructor takes a breath.

Teenagers all come with a little tummy pouch now - don't know if it's from junk food or birth control pills. Or it could be because most of them are hunchbacked from leaning over their phones, computers and playstations.

I'm a fat adult - and it's my fault and no one else is to blame. Fat kids under the age of 6 are the parents' fault and something needs to be done about it.

 

[W2R]

I don't think that kids these days have the opportunity for as much physical activity at school as we did, through recess or mandatory physical education classes. Some can play outside after school, true, but not all. I agree - - it's so sad seeing these kids with no muscles at all and so sedentary.

 

[Nuiloa]

Part of the problem, as well, is that parents have bought into the wholesale paranoia that their kids will be abducted and murdered if they dare let them out of their sight. Consequently, they keep the kids indoors, with the TV as a nanny.

I think there's also a push for parents to entertain their kids on a never-ending basis or they will be viewed as bad parents. I've known kids who take 4 and 5 types of dance, piano lessons, voice lessons and language lessons. They generally burn out about age 16 and the parents can't figure out why.

Kids will be kids. And if you don't let them be kids at a young age, they will not become stable, mature young adults.

I feel sorry for the kids who never learn how to play unless mommy is nearby, choreographing the game.

 

[Nuiloa]

Having read the article I can see how the tough love approach can work. One of the most successful programs in improving safety in the workplace is called Behavior Based Safety, which has people randomly and formally studying how a fellow worker does his job. (This is in addition to the audits and checks done by the safety departments).

I'm not so sure. For some, it might work great. For others it might backfire. I know that if someone came along and told me that I should not be eating XYZ, I would probably offer a few colorful metaphors to suggest how they should go forth and multiply. Or I would become a secret stasher and do my eating away from prying eyes.

 

[TromboneAl]

I remain ASTOUNDED at the epidemic of obesity of young children and young adults I see in public these days. It's not funny anymore, people.

Same here. If you transported someone here from the fifties, they would not believe it. It is fascinating.

The scope of the problem is far beyond what could be explained by people simply eating too much or exercising too little. Something this dramatic needs a positive feedback situation: the things people do to try to fix their weight are exactly the things that make them fatter.

Sorry, there I go again.

 

[TromboneAl]

Maybe an ER forum biggest loser competition thread -- girls against the boys.

 

[73ss454]

Wait a second Al, I don't want you on my team, you're too skinny.

 

[LOL!]

This thread went further down the weight path than I expected.

I guess I didn't hint strongly enough that tough love is also about financial matters and early retirement. If someone posts here asking if they should retire early, they will get overwhelming response that they should. If they fall off the bandwagon and go back to work, they will get some disapproving comments. If they don't have enough money to retire early, folks will politely point out that they would have no problem with money if they didn't use an expensive financial advisor. And so on.