You're a lot luckier that 2 of you are moving to a place where you both don't know anyone. I'm single and thinking of doing the same. I've virtually been single all my life.
Did You Move Where You Did Not Know Anyone?
- Thread starter rathgar
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You're a lot luckier that 2 of you are moving to a place where you both don't know anyone. I'm single and thinking of doing the same. I've virtually been single all my life.
Kroeran
Full time employment: Posting here.
I don’t have direct knowledge of this area, but my impression is.,,
If I was single with a spotty track record with women, I would stay away from Florida gated and rather go urban, let’s say Miami and try Latin or foreign women, Panama where American men with modest means are attractive to local women, or more afar, Japan, Thailand or Phillipines where relatively progressive American men are highly valued as partners.
If you are a fishing and hang out in a bar guy who can afford the rent,, Key West.
I think San Miguel de Allende Mexico has a surplus of single arty women.
There are so many lonely retirement age women, I think a single guy in that age range has a moral duty to find one and look after her., while you can. She will most likey be looking after you at the end.
I really appreciate your response. You're pretty much spot on. I'm not much for crowds or high stress and overly competitive environments like the DC area
but maybe Miami or Tampa anyhow. And, you're right, I get along with Asians pretty well. All of your suggestions are well taken so thanks again! I am active and well off so more than ready for the next stage.ychuck46
Recycles dryer sheets
We did exactly that
Ten years ago we left all friends and family and moved from the North to a small city in a Southern state, when we were both about 57. Did not know anyone at the time; I still worked for a few years but the wife was already retired at the time of the move. Bought a home in a smaller development of about 50 homes where all lots ranged from 1-17 acres. Best move we ever made. People in the South are very friendly if you treat people with respect, and many of our neighbors are transplants themselves and understand new neighbors. We travel 4-5 months out of the year but still love our choice and location that we call home.
Ten years ago we left all friends and family and moved from the North to a small city in a Southern state, when we were both about 57. Did not know anyone at the time; I still worked for a few years but the wife was already retired at the time of the move. Bought a home in a smaller development of about 50 homes where all lots ranged from 1-17 acres. Best move we ever made. People in the South are very friendly if you treat people with respect, and many of our neighbors are transplants themselves and understand new neighbors. We travel 4-5 months out of the year but still love our choice and location that we call home.
We've moved "many" times over the years ... from Delaware to NJ to Maryland, back to Delaware, to Virginia, and then to two different places in Florida. Each time, with the exception of the Delaware moves, we knew absolutely no one in the area.
That changed quickly but we found (and it makes sense) that it all comes down to "us." Had we waited to have people come to us, we'd likely still know no one.
Most communities, at least in Florida, have Senior Centers now and they're a great place to meet new friends. Plus, don't disregard your neighbors!
Personally, we've developed some great friendships in every place we've lived!
(Currently in what we plan to be in our "forever" home in Palm Coast, Florida. We're a six minute drive to one of the nicest beach towns anywhere - Flagler Beach - and in one of the lowest cost areas of the state!)
Maidensong
Recycles dryer sheets
Throughout our married life, we have lived in 9 different states, all four contiguous US time zones. For most of those, we didn't know a soul when we rolled up with our moving van. Finding a church home was our go-to way of locating our new "tribe." It might be harder now with Covid, but a faith community or a group organized around a common interest is the best way to find like-minded folks you'll enjoy spending time with.
An alternate approach is to view your move as an extended vacation on which you happen drag everything you own. If you don't like where you land, you can always try someplace else.
An alternate approach is to view your move as an extended vacation on which you happen drag everything you own. If you don't like where you land, you can always try someplace else.
EastWest Gal
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
When the pandemic settles down, go find local community theater and get involved. That will help you make friends with more politically similar people. You don't have to act, but building and painting sets, ushering, helping with the programs, etc.
jayanu
Recycles dryer sheets
If you are still working or have kids then making friends is no big deal. Church and local clubs can help. Attending Library programs can add to that too.
55+ or great CCRC (like where we are with 2,500 people) will give a huge amount of activities and friendship. But you have to venture out!
We stayed in Southern California to be close to our kids. Unfortunately, they now all live 3+ hours away. can't drop by for coffee. We retired, downsized, and moved into a nice new community, but found that all our neighbors
were 35 ad 33, both working, with 2 kids who they were constantly taking to dance class or baseball practice. We were lucky in that my wife met a nice lady thru her book club who introduced us to her 55+ community. We sold our house and moved. We knew no one, but soon made many friends and, seriously, it's the most enjoyable place I've ever lived.
were 35 ad 33, both working, with 2 kids who they were constantly taking to dance class or baseball practice. We were lucky in that my wife met a nice lady thru her book club who introduced us to her 55+ community. We sold our house and moved. We knew no one, but soon made many friends and, seriously, it's the most enjoyable place I've ever lived.
Surewhitey
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Wow, thinking back this is all I've done. 1995 moved to small town Louisiana, married and moved to Dallas in 99. Moved to LA in 2007. Moved to Mexico in 2011, then back to LA, then back to Mexico. Moved back to Dallas in 2015. All except the last we knew no one. Very easy for us but I was 25-45 through all this.
I personally wouldn't have a problem as it's easier to stay in touch even when you're living somewhere else. We looked at it as we really didn't see people that much anyhow while everyone is busy working and life in general.
I personally wouldn't have a problem as it's easier to stay in touch even when you're living somewhere else. We looked at it as we really didn't see people that much anyhow while everyone is busy working and life in general.
Kalm
Dryer sheet wannabe
Moved to FL during the pandemic
Hi,
Yes my fiancé and I just moved to FL where we knew nobody but the realtor who sold us our home! He joined a local band and I reached out to my neighbors and introduced ourselves to them. This was right in the middle of the pandemic so physical contact was limited. However, with the internet and phone and a little effort, we made some great friends. We are in our late 50’s and early 60’s so it is doable. I go to beach yoga some mornings where I have made more friends than I thought possible. We have volunteered to distribute flyers for an upcoming neighborhood block party to neighbors on my street. This is a great way to get to know your other neighbors! We also have happy hour on our lanai once a week for our new found friends and it’s been fun! I plan on joining a local mahjong group and host game night (socially distanced and outdoors )on our lanai too. It takes some effort to make new friends but it is completely doable. You just have to be creative! Good luck!
Hi,
Yes my fiancé and I just moved to FL where we knew nobody but the realtor who sold us our home! He joined a local band and I reached out to my neighbors and introduced ourselves to them. This was right in the middle of the pandemic so physical contact was limited. However, with the internet and phone and a little effort, we made some great friends. We are in our late 50’s and early 60’s so it is doable. I go to beach yoga some mornings where I have made more friends than I thought possible. We have volunteered to distribute flyers for an upcoming neighborhood block party to neighbors on my street. This is a great way to get to know your other neighbors! We also have happy hour on our lanai once a week for our new found friends and it’s been fun! I plan on joining a local mahjong group and host game night (socially distanced and outdoors )on our lanai too. It takes some effort to make new friends but it is completely doable. You just have to be creative! Good luck!
Katsmeow
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
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I think a lot of this may depend on whether you are an introvert or extrovert. DH and I are introverts
I am amazed by all these people who makes friends with your neighbors. DH and I moved several times over the last 29 years and at no point did we make friends with neighbors. I can't even figure out how you could do that. I mean, we are always friendly with our neighbors (well except the neighbors who thought the HOA should follow their idiosyncratic ideas of the rules). But, I've never had a desire to make friends with them.....
We moved about 250 miles almost 3 years ago. Now, I did know some people here. I grew up in the area and have some family here (although I don't see them that often. It was more a few times a year thing pre-Covid). I did one close friend from high school who was still here and we picked up the friendship.
Although an introvert, I do like to have some social contact. I just don't like large groups. But it is hard for me to find friends. We are not churchgoers so that option is out. I would never live in a 55+ community (although I can understand the appeal).
One problem I run into is that my interests aren't always synced with my age. I spend most of my time on the computer and I enjoy video games, etc. Most who play are the age of my children! So when I run into a nice person my age and we are start talking we usually have zero in common. I mean, sure, there are people my age with my interests but the chance I just happen to run into them locally is pretty small.
In general, though, I do think that joining groups with common interests is the easiest way to do it. Back when I met DH, I met him at the local bridge club. I started playing there in the hope to meet people (friends, not just romantic interests).
So, in the end it may depend on how comfortable you are in being outgoing to others and whether you have the kinds of interests where you can meet people through them.
I am amazed by all these people who makes friends with your neighbors. DH and I moved several times over the last 29 years and at no point did we make friends with neighbors. I can't even figure out how you could do that. I mean, we are always friendly with our neighbors (well except the neighbors who thought the HOA should follow their idiosyncratic ideas of the rules). But, I've never had a desire to make friends with them.....
We moved about 250 miles almost 3 years ago. Now, I did know some people here. I grew up in the area and have some family here (although I don't see them that often. It was more a few times a year thing pre-Covid). I did one close friend from high school who was still here and we picked up the friendship.
Although an introvert, I do like to have some social contact. I just don't like large groups. But it is hard for me to find friends. We are not churchgoers so that option is out. I would never live in a 55+ community (although I can understand the appeal).
One problem I run into is that my interests aren't always synced with my age. I spend most of my time on the computer and I enjoy video games, etc. Most who play are the age of my children! So when I run into a nice person my age and we are start talking we usually have zero in common. I mean, sure, there are people my age with my interests but the chance I just happen to run into them locally is pretty small.
In general, though, I do think that joining groups with common interests is the easiest way to do it. Back when I met DH, I met him at the local bridge club. I started playing there in the hope to meet people (friends, not just romantic interests).
So, in the end it may depend on how comfortable you are in being outgoing to others and whether you have the kinds of interests where you can meet people through them.
Koolau
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
I think I've mentioned before that we got an invitation to Christmas dinner 3 weeks after we arrived in Hawaii. It was from our "new best friend in the world" - the car salesman who sold us two cars in two days! YMMV
Finance Dave
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
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I moved to a new city (where I live now) for a job when I was 28. I was single, and it was not a problem meeting people. I'm slightly on the extrovert side. I met plenty of people through work, church, and sports (I played soccer and softball back then). I think volunteering is another great way to meet folks.
Nemo2
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
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I mentioned this thread to DW; she said "After ~ 13 years at this location we don't have/want any friends here*, why would we worry about getting them if we relocated again?"
(*Her few friends are in Ottawa, my oldest friend, of some 54 years, is in Toronto, my next, of around 51 years, is about another 90 minutes drive further away past Toronto...oh, another friend of 39 years also lives in Toronto.....I'm feeling hemmed in here. Oops, forgot our friends in Missouri, Houston and Adelaide.)
(*Her few friends are in Ottawa, my oldest friend, of some 54 years, is in Toronto, my next, of around 51 years, is about another 90 minutes drive further away past Toronto...oh, another friend of 39 years also lives in Toronto.....I'm feeling hemmed in here.
Oops, forgot our friends in Missouri, Houston and Adelaide.)
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Kroeran
Full time employment: Posting here.
In hometown Canada, and presumably elsewhere, people are mostly locked down socially with direct or extended family, maybe some childhood or university friends, and that’s about it.
The social ease and intensity of an active Florida snowbird community was an unexpected shock to us. But, with all the highschool drama that goes with that.
Pickleball, golf, tennis, bocci ball, dog walking, garden boxes, card clubs, anything that gets you out of the house and circulating. Both partners need to be socially competent, control political and religious speech, not talk too much.
And then you convert aquaintences to more by going out for lunch or dinner, invitations to drinks, boat trips, card games, day trips, shopping outings and so on.
If you recoil at the heaviness of the pervasive Protestant megachurches or Catholics, try out Unitarianism. Very small l liberal and light. My Unitarian friend says it’s a club of scared atheists. ; - )
Ave Maria, inland from Naples would be a refuge for Conrad Black type sophisticated Catholics or Catholic curious, and of course Opus Dei. Try Eckankar if you are into weird.
There are also philosophy casual meetup groups.
If you have children or family that you get along with, I would caution moving away from them full time, and rather invest in moving toward them at least part time. Your needs in early active retirement are usually very different than your needs in later retirement.
The social ease and intensity of an active Florida snowbird community was an unexpected shock to us. But, with all the highschool drama that goes with that.
Pickleball, golf, tennis, bocci ball, dog walking, garden boxes, card clubs, anything that gets you out of the house and circulating. Both partners need to be socially competent, control political and religious speech, not talk too much.
And then you convert aquaintences to more by going out for lunch or dinner, invitations to drinks, boat trips, card games, day trips, shopping outings and so on.
If you recoil at the heaviness of the pervasive Protestant megachurches or Catholics, try out Unitarianism. Very small l liberal and light. My Unitarian friend says it’s a club of scared atheists. ; - )
Ave Maria, inland from Naples would be a refuge for Conrad Black type sophisticated Catholics or Catholic curious, and of course Opus Dei. Try Eckankar if you are into weird.
There are also philosophy casual meetup groups.
If you have children or family that you get along with, I would caution moving away from them full time, and rather invest in moving toward them at least part time. Your needs in early active retirement are usually very different than your needs in later retirement.
