My point was that if you allow a child to have control over you until they become a teenager, you have very little chance of fixing it then. Lots of facts and data on this in Nurture Shock.
I'll tell you whats different between when it works and when it doesn't. Children used to be the 3rd wheel in the family and the family did stuff and the kids went along with it. It went wrong when the child became the families centric, and we did stuff organized around the kid.
It also went wrong when parents started leaving the parenting to other people, most of which don't do it or don't do it well.
There certainly is no universal answer, nor do we need one. If you make the child feel like the center of the universe and don't govern them effectively and be persistent in parenting...you've got a good chance of raising a douchebag.
Are You Raising a Douchebag?: Details