how do you respond?

[brucethebroker]

I suggest those comments are made by folks with one of two mindsets: financial and social/passion.

The first group contain those who are bitter (since they cannot afford to retire), and those who are stunned ("how can someone afford to do that?").

The second group is comprised of the social animals who cannot comprehend life without their support system at work, or those who have a passion for the work and cannot imagine why anyone would ever WANT to leave the job since they are so happy doing it. (This group holds hope for changing their minds as the job degrades over time, and they start to GET it.).

 

[Bryan Barnfellow]

When I tell people that I am retired, they often say "But you're too young!" I am now 61 but have no gray hair yet, so that must account for it.

My response (with a big smile): "THANK YOU!"

-BB

 

[traineeinvestor]

Not really an issue. My parents and some of my former partners thought I'd get bored and get another job just for something to do. Everyone else was supportive. I don't recall anyone reacting badly.

Of course, sending selfies of the Wednesday morning hikes with another early retiree to a group of former colleagues who are still working isn't quite as well received ...

 

[braumeister]

I think the easiest thing is to just throw them a sop and say "Yes, I was lucky."
Then change the subject.

 

[Bryan Barnfellow]

Of course, sending selfies of the Wednesday morning hikes with another early retiree to a group of former colleagues who are still working isn't quite as well received ...

I believe in being a good and inspiring role model and send those selfies to my former colleagues in the "w*king class."

-BB

 

[user5027]

Tell them you are doing your part to reduce the unemployment rate.

 

[Ronstar]

I worked 2 days a week in my early 50's - told people it was due to the economy - which it partially was. I got a lot more comments for 5-6 years of part time work than I did since I retired 3 years ago at 58 years old.

All of my friends and relatives had/have jobs with a good pension. So retiring at 58 is not early in my group of acquaintances.

 

[UnrealizedPotential]

I don't talk about it. It just gets those who are still in the workforce angry. I can't help those to save money and do what I did as I was a very frugal person and I can't teach them investing. So I keep my mouth shut and say nothing. I don't know what they think about me because I don't ask.

 

[UnrealizedPotential]

Offer to lend them some dough?

I found out the hard way that is a bad deal. A loan usually turns into a gift. That is another reason I do not talk about money with anyone.

 

[Koolau]

Not so much now that I'm 70, but back in the day folks would say "you're lucky to be retired so young." I always responded "Luck had nothing to do with it." In all honesty, I suppose luck DID have something to do with it. I was always a good saver but a lousy investor. When the time came (age 51) my lousy investing - primarily too concentrated in company stock - made me FI (the modest pension and health care stipend didn't hurt.) I stayed to 58, but could have retired many years earlier - long story.

So now of days, the only "problem" is when I say I'm 70 and folks say "No way!" I guess it's a good problem to have. YMMV

 

[Danmar]

ER is one of several things that friends (and family mostly) could be envious about. Our lifestyle is certainly one as well. You get used to it.

We are very generous with our good fortune. Always pay for family dinners, take family and friends on trips with us, lend our vacation properties to them, cash gifts in emergencies, etc. Never been asked for money. If they are still resentful, they don't show it. Helps to chalk it up to luck, whether you believe that or not.

 

[misshathaway]

I'm 64 and I'm still getting comments about my retirement next month. like I must have money, what would you do with your time, I wish I could retire (from people older than me), and so on..

And after you retire it will be "What do you DO all day?". I am a lot more careful now about who I tell, and avoid conversations that might even be tangential to money. Of course that only works with acquaintances. Friends have endless unsolicited suggestions about what I should be doing. "I don't want to be useful" works for the shock value.

 

[brett]

Water off a ducks back to us. We retired at 58. Lots of people were surprised. Sold our house. Some thought we were living on our house money.

I have never really cared very much about what other people think or say about what we do or how we manage our lives.

Perhaps I am a bit of a contrarian. Never followed the crowd on investment advice or career advancement advice. This approach worked well for us. The gap between perception and fact that is oftentimes ignored/missed by many.

We have relatives who have lived their lives doing things and spending money in order to fit in or be concerned about what other people think. Sad really because they are not prepared for retirement and are almost afraid to step out of the shadow so to speak. Better to ask why not than to ask why.

Better to ignore what others think or say about early retirement and just get on living your life they way you want to. The naysayers will always be there....just ignore them.

 

[Gumby]

Enjoy your retirement.

I had the same issue with my 95 year old DF when I retired at 56. Nevermind he'd retired at 60.

Can't please everyone.

Sadly many people can't see how they'll be able to retire at FRA, let alone early,

I'm currently 58. I gave up caring what my father thought about me just about 58 years ago.

 

[Fedup]

ER is one of several things that friends (and family mostly) could be envious about. Our lifestyle is certainly one as well. You get used to it.

We are very generous with our good fortune. Always pay for family dinners, take family and friends on trips with us, lend our vacation properties to them, cash gifts in emergencies, etc. Never been asked for money. If they are still resentful, they don't show it. Helps to chalk it up to luck, whether you believe that or not.

I do this too but some of them decided to slap salt in our face. I won't say who, but needless to say we won't be in communicado with them anymore. Either that as they age they lost their mind. Mental health issue despite having free health care.

 

[Hermit]

I say go with the 'smile and nod'

I, like everyone else here, is happy for you. But the resentment you are getting is not just because your are mid-50's. I'm 64 and I'm still getting comments about my retirement next month. like I must have money, what would you do with your time, I wish I could retire (from people older than me), and so on. My answer is that I have 16 years until I'm 80. that actually shuts them up. (We all here realize '80' is not the end of life, but to they type of non-thinkers giving me a hard time, they think it is).

I retired at 63 and happily tell folks that I'm retired. I don't get comments on early retirement. Maybe it has more to do with my hair being almost completely white? I don't think too many people think I have any money, because I don't live an expensive lifestyle.

 

[Walt34]

Sad to read about so many who have had resentment from family over ER.

I retired at 52 but I worked in public safety so that is more or less expected. With some rare exceptions you really don't want 60-year-old police officers or firefighters out there. Started at age 22 (well, a week before I turned 23) and could have retired at 48 with a full package but stayed another four years because I enjoyed the job. I'm 67 now and look it so I don't get the question anymore.

 

[Danmar]

I do this too but some of them decided to slap salt in our face. I won't say who, but needless to say we won't be in communicado with them anymore. Either that as they age they lost their mind. Mental health issue despite having free health care.

Too bad. Not much you can do about that.

 

[kcowan]

I always live by the premise that "What other people think of me is none of my business!"

If people insist, I simply ask them why they ask? If they push it like one of my friends who is not retired, I say because I accomplished everything I set out to do.

 

[healthyandfun]

there are all kinds of people in this world! A friend about seven years older than I had trouble adjusting to early retirement and went back to work and then had trouble adjusting a second time some six or seven years later. I listened carefully to her during this time as I planned my escape. Made sure I had plenty of friends and activities outside of work and generally sketched out my retirement plans. As my happiness increased in retirement, calls from my friend decreased and my calls soon went unanswered. We had been friends for over thirty years, but life is too short to tolerate crap like this. Have moved on with friends that are thrilled that I have a great retirement!

 

[ohyes]

If i were blessed with having a 90 year old father, i would tell him what ever made him happy. If he wants you to go back to work ,you tell him he was right, and you returned. They missed you so much they gave you a raise and 2 more weeks vacation. Then thank him for his great advice. Everyone else, who cares what they think.

Love this. Absolutely and ain't that the truth?!

 

[brett]

We are always a little surprised when people seem to be concerned about what other people will say or respond to your situation.

Does it really matter? Simply choose not to let those comments bother you. Then move on. There is really no need for a response. Just ignore the comments.

 

[RE2Boys]

It's only in the last two years that I'll use the phrase "I'm retired", but I'm 67 now.
Since leaving my career job at age 50, I've always said I was semi-retired. Which is largely true, have always had some earned income each year, consulting, seasonal part-time work, etc.
Keeps the mind active and has satisfied most folks as to how I retired at 50 with two little boys.
If every pressed further, easy answer: organizational downsizing and an offer I couldn't refuse (also has a grain of truth).

 

[SomedaySoon]

When the time came (@55) we sold the house and moved to another city, and bought into a brand new 55+ community. Luckily, there were other retirees in a similar FIRE situation, so our new circle of friends are in the same situation. It is only the in-laws that can't figure how we survive without a paycheck four years after being "laid off". (we were laid off, but we were just hoping for that RIF package to come along.....)

 

[NoOneGetsIt]

And after you retire it will be "What do you DO all day?". I am a lot more careful now about who I tell, and avoid conversations that might even be tangential to money. Of course that only works with acquaintances. Friends have endless unsolicited suggestions about what I should be doing. "I don't want to be useful" works for the shock value.

When I get the question "what do you do all day" I respond "what do you do on weekends.....I do that all the time" smile and walk