Is There Any Yearning to Be Recognized for Your FIRE Success?

[Dtail]

I think in general with a mostly LBYM crowd on this site, you won't receive many responses of wishing for recognition.

 

[capitalhockey]

We are very much in the dark horse category. Not even our children know. That is how we like it.

We have always avoided debt, lived below our means, and invested wisely. Then we woke up one day and realized how much equity we had over and above the various annuity/pension income streams that cover our living expenses.

It seemed to have happened overnight but it did not. It took a working lifetime. We never had a sense that we deprived ourselves of anything....other than consumer debt and car loans.

My first boss in a commission environment, a very financially successful man, gave me some good advice. It is not about how much you make, it is about how much you keep and how well you invest it.

That's great advice. My first boss wore a shoe with a hole in it. He was the millionaire next door type and was more wealthy than the flashy pinstripe suit wearing Director.

 

[Midpack]

Just the opposite from the OPs query - I DON’T want to be recognized for my financial success, FIRE or otherwise. It may not seem obvious online where I’m anonymous but in my real life, career and personal, I’ve always sought to be underestimated - and retiring hasn’t changed that at all. And it’s always worked exactly as intended. Once LBYM, always LBYM for us.

I’m not worried about what others guess our socioeconomic status might be, we want to be judged for everything else about how we live our lives and treat others.

I know and have known many people who live beyond their means and go to great lengths to “advertise” their success - most of the corporate types I’ve known ***. And I’ve never liked any of them, none have become friends of ours...

*** Most of the peer execs I worked with couldn’t understand my relatively frugal ways until I retired at 57 still at the height of my career with no end in sight. Then almost every one of them swarmed around me dying to know “how I did it?” They couldn’t fathom how I did it, they all guessed I made a killing in stocks, but I never shared anything...

 

[capitalhockey]

I think in general with a mostly LBYM crowd on this site, you won't receive many responses of wishing for recognition.

I think it's more of a sibling thing with my brother and I. It gets under my skin from time to time. It's easier to paint a mirage of success with debt.

He might get the short-term accolades but his finances were on thin ice. I rather be in my position than his for the long term.

 

[pb4uski]

No, not at all

 

[mountainsoft]

Is there any yearning to be recognized for your FIRE success?

Nope, I learned long ago not to care what others think of me. I would rather be "invisible" than worry about any kind of recognition. If you're rich, powerful, beautiful, and famous, good for you. I'm not impressed or interested in that life style.

Most of our life choices would not fit the "norm" (jobs, lifestyle, clothing, cars, finances, etc.), but it works for us. Obviously there are still times when someone will make a comment or expression that hurts. But when I think of why we made our choices, it all makes sense and those feelings go away.

 

[RetireeRobert]

Not really. I have been FIREly successful for going on twenty plus years now. Still drive one car 5 years old, second car 7 years old. In fact, am thinking of downsizing to the non-descript suburbs, the house I'm in is seeming too big and the grounds to large.

 

[athena53]

Nope. It's fun to be a closet multimillionaire! My travels are the only thing that may indicate to people that I'm doing pretty darn well.

 

[ExFlyBoy5]

Just the opposite from the OPs query - I DON’T want to be recognized for my success, FIRE or otherwise. It may not seem obvious online where I’m anonymous but in my real life, career and personal, I’ve always sought to be underestimated

I was the same way in my w*rking years. I would do what was expected of me, but that was about it. I did a good job, but snubbed any kind of recognition...it has never been my style. As my best friend says, "I strive for mediocrity"

It reminds me of a couple of my Dad's friends. Friend "A" was highly accomplished and did some pretty awesome things in life. He was an editor for a large newspaper, an elected state representative and owned a successful restaurant in Germany after his time in the military. Never mind the several year sabbatical he took where he traveled all over the US, Mexico and South America where he met and married an AA flight attendant. When he passed away, his obituary was nothing more than a legal announcement...two sentences if I recall. Friend "B" lead a successful professional but otherwise unremarkable life. He worked for mega corp for 20 years, became a head hunter and retired at 65 years old. He did nothing in retirement and died at 72 of cancer. His obit was THOUSANDS of words that read like a Linkedin profile...it was honestly one of the saddest things I have ever read.

Yes, a bit of a ramble, but just an example of how folks live their lives and what seems to be important.

 

[Nemo2]

We have just the one vehicle, a 2005 Honda Civic with slightly under 140K km, (around 86K miles)...has a couple dings/scratches...who cares, it's just a freakin car.

 

[MichaelB]

Is there any yearning to be recognized for your FIRE success?

ER Forum members get lots of recognition, from each other, and it seems to be enough for most of us. That's one of the things that bring us together here.

 

[Midpack]

I was the same way in my w*rking years. I would do what was expected of me, but that was about it. I did a good job, but snubbed any kind of recognition...it has never been my style. As my best friend says, "I strive for mediocrity"

To clarify, I didn’t want to be recognized for my financial success. I didn’t strive for mediocrity in job performance by any means, I always worked hard to be the best at anything I did in my career. I was always willing to go above and beyond. I never would have enjoyed all the promotions I was blessed with otherwise, that enabled me to retire early.

 

[ExFlyBoy5]

...In fact, am thinking of downsizing to the non-desript suburbs, the house I'm in is seeming too big and the grounds to large.

While we don't live in a mansion by any means, it is pretty nice for the area we live; nicer than any house I have ever lived in. As soon as we moved in, I went to great lengths to remove any and all pictures of the interior (and exterior of the pool) that were on the MLS, Zillow, etc because...well, I don't have a good reason. I just don't like the idea that others would make assumptions about our financial position, even though I really shouldn't give a rat's ass.

We have just the one vehicle, a 2005 Honda Civic with slightly under 140K km, (around 86K miles)...has a couple dings/scratches...who cares, it's just a freakin car.

As I get older, I tend to look at a car as nothing more than an appliance.

 

[Dtail]

We have just the one vehicle, a 2005 Honda Civic with slightly under 140K km, (around 86K miles)...has a couple dings/scratches...who cares, it's just a freakin car.

We all have a couple of dings and scratches.

 

[Ronstar]

No.

 

[Dtail]

I think it's more of a sibling thing with my brother and I. It gets under my skin from time to time. It's easier to paint a mirage of success with debt.

He might get the short-term accolades but his finances were on thin ice. I rather be in my position than his for the long term.

Well in the end, you will probably get recognized indirectly by retiring first.

 

[ExFlyBoy5]

To clarify, I didn’t want to be recognized for my financial success. I didn’t strive for mediocrity in job performance by any means, I always worked hard to be the best at anything I did in my career. I was always willing to go above and beyond. I never would have enjoyed all the promotions I was blessed with otherwise, that enabled me to retire early.

Ah, thanks for the clarification. Thankfully in the military (at least for us enlisted sweatys) promotions are tied to testing and a performance evaluation system that is (or was) pretty ineffective. Unless you were an absolute idiot, got a DUI or something similar you would get promoted up to E-7. The last two stripes did involve a selection board, but I had no desire to attain those stripes as I would have been relegated to flying a desk and I was very happy to be a "professional technician" and flying my arse off. I was very good at what I did and never busted a checkride and got quite a few "exceptionally qualified" checkride results so in that regard, I wasn't very mediocre. However, when it came to the other stuff that was expected outside my flying j*b, I didn't seek out those "opportunities"

 

[OldShooter]

... Is there any yearning to be recognized for your FIRE success?

No. I look at this as just a piece of an overall strategy wanting to be underestimated. I have found it to be an advantage in many situations both in business and personally.

My idol in this was a guy I knew maybe 25 years ago, Jim D. Jim was about 80YO and dressed in those dark green uniform shirts and pants that Sears used to sell. His shoes were the workman's low top black oxfords with ribbed oil-proof soles, topped with white socks. His hair looked like he had cut it himself. He ran several businesses, including building turnkey bioethanol plants and building airline fueler trucks. If he was worth a dime, he was worth $10M or more.

One fun time was at a city council meeting where both of us had business with the council. When Jim's turn came he shambled up to the lectern and made his case. The council instantly approve what the nice old man wanted. They never had a clue what they were dealing with. The man was an artist. I'm sure he is gone now, but I still think of him fondly.

 

[brett]

The other piece of advice I would give are...

-never fall in love with a stock. Sell it at the right time financially, not the right time from a tax perspective.

-don't fall in love with your employers stock or stock options. Don't drink the kool-aid about the future stock price.

I know of a number of people who put their retirement at risk by not exercising stock options before they went under water. OTOH, I know several who, like me, developed a realistic and laddered option disposition plan that allowed them to retire, protect that retirement, and leave with a very healthy nest egg.

 

[YVRRocketSurgery]

Morgan Housel has a great quote that essentially says that a lot of what our perception of wealth is driven by what we see other people buying. But in reality, financial wealth isn't what you see; it's what you don't see (ie what you don't spend and stached away in your savings/investment accounts).

Is there any yearning to be recognized for your FIRE success?

For me, it's a bit of a yes/no juxtaposition.

Yes, because you know how it can be at family gatherings.
And I freely admit I have a fragile ego.
No, because I generally don't like being in the spotlight/under a microscope nor potentially saddled with expectations, real or perceived.

 

[2k6_TX_Dad]

Opposite

Is there any yearning to be recognized for your FIRE success?

I'll take the opposite viewpoint. I would like to be recognized (by others than on this forum). But mainly to show FIRE is an achievable goal and so I can pass along how being FI can help you enjoy things others might find frustrating.

For example, I enjoy driving my 14y/o Toyota pickup, not because it's the only car I can afford, because it's helped achieve my goals.

Perhaps it futile, there are lots of posts on this forum related to the difference between spenders and savers and "never the twain shall meet", but I believe there are some in the middle and are overexposed to the ones who spend and underexposed to those who save. (By reading this thread, by their choice).

 

[Lawrencewendall]

We've been called the Clampetts by the neighbors but I'm RE and they are not. Suck eggs!

 

[RetireeRobert]

We've been called the Clampetts by the neighbors but I'm RE and they are not. Suck eggs!

Exactly! RE status is its own best reward.

I must admit though, I did so love submitting my resignation letter when I left my office and left all the BS behind. And I loved my former bosses seeing me walk away at age 54 with three kids then aged 7, 11, and 17, and them wondering how can he do that? And a few years later, designing and having built our dream home (where I now live) and being able to pay cash for it--no mortgage. And I knew my former bosses had to stay at work and put up with all the BS for years longer. Yes, I did like that, a high point in my life.

 

[capitalhockey]

Exactly! RE status is its own best reward.

I must admit though, I did so love submitting my resignation letter when I left my office and left all the BS behind. And I loved my former bosses seeing me walk away at age 54 with three kids then aged 7, 11, and 17, and them wondering how can he do that? And a few years later, designing and having built our dream home (where I now live) and being able to pay cash for it--no mortgage. And I knew my former bosses had to stay at work and put up with all the BS for years longer. Yes, I did like that, a high point in my life.

Congrats!

I have two young kids under 4 now....hope to be in your shoes in 10 years. Did retirement allow you to be more involved in kids' school and activities?

 

[Montecfo]

We always lived well but spent less than similarly situated folks. Definitely more value oriented on vehicles.

But I learned long ago that cars are more often a marker for debt than financial success.

So try to keep a low profile and try not to get famous. Financial success is its own reward and allows you to be very charitable and help others.