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Old 12-29-2019, 08:18 PM   #81
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I am an introvert and it helps to have hobbies and interests. I have a lot of interests but few hobbies. But this can be enough sometimes to keep busy. I rarely if ever feel lonely, but I do not require a lot of human interaction.

I guess just ask yourself what do you really want to do. What are you interested in? Wherever that leads you go there. It's waiting for you. Explore it. You just might find some pals to be friends with along the way.
There are many possibilities. This is just one.
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Old 12-30-2019, 06:04 AM   #82
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Originally Posted by Vincenzo Corleone View Post
Please note - I'm lonely at times, not bored. And I do enjoy my own company.
But every now and then I need companionship .

I guess I'll just keep looking for volunteer opportunities.
When you see folks sitting at the local coffee shop in the morning it isn't for the coffee IMHO. It's for the comraderie (think of it as a morning alternative to the bar) and soon enough you're sucked into a group for the banter
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Old 12-30-2019, 08:00 AM   #83
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When you see folks sitting at the local coffee shop in the morning it isn't for the coffee IMHO. It's for the comraderie (think of it as a morning alternative to the bar) and soon enough you're sucked into a group for the banter
My dad meets his buddies 3 or 4 times a week for "coffee". I still meet a friend once a week for the "breakfast special" (going on 10 years now) and I sometimes plan a Costco run when a still working friend can join me there for lunch and the free sample tour.
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Old 12-30-2019, 02:07 PM   #84
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For those of you who ERd before your spouse or those who are single and ERd, did you ever get lonely during the day? What, if anything, did you do about it?
Yes. I'm single in ER and an introvert, but some contact during the day is nice. Retired people or work-at-home people go to the gym, go to swim at the pool, and go to the neighborhood grocery store during work hours. Don't know if you like any of those things, but chatting around activities you share is easy. For me, alot of times that is enough.
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Old 12-30-2019, 08:14 PM   #85
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As a Hermit, I probably don't meet your ideal reference, but with DW being gone for more than 10 years now, I do have a routine. A big part of that routine is just an open door. My fridge is always full of different varities of beer and someone stops by to chat and have a beer multiple times a week. Sometimes multiple times a day and sometimes there are multiple people that cross paths here at my place and we all enjoy chatting for a bit and I am never too busy not to stop for a beer and some small talk. When no one stops by, I actully get some work done on building my house. I have been working on it for over 6 years now. Maybe a little less time chatting and more time working would move this project along, but there is nothing like sitting around a nice fire in the woodstove and talking about whatever is on your mind...
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Old 12-30-2019, 08:38 PM   #86
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When you see folks sitting at the local coffee shop in the morning it isn't for the coffee IMHO. It's for the comraderie (think of it as a morning alternative to the bar) and soon enough you're sucked into a group for the banter
The ROMEO group that I meet with 6 mornings per week has as many as 14 members. Some of us have known each other for over 40 years and are close friends.
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Old 01-01-2020, 06:19 PM   #87
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Sure, it's a matter of balancing now and later, but not sure from the OP what is so bad about the current situation that you need to adjust it.

A family with young kids can enjoy totally fun local vacations. You need "insane" vacations with a one year old?

You need a new car; as opposed to a reliable car?

Wife is already getting to reduce her work schedule to spend more time with kids.

Not sure why eating out should cause stress now (other than the fact that you have young kids).

Also, I can't endorse not fully funding OP and spousal Roth; that will reap huge benefits in the future.

You want to play with the mortgage, not the end of the world.

The one thing I can understand is reducing OP's work schedule to spend more time with the kiddos, but I strongly suspect this can be done without dropping the Roths. You can also reduce the 529s when you are working 80 percent, and pick it up when you return full time.

The 33 year old you is important; but so is the 50 year old you.

But, your choice.
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Old 01-01-2020, 11:54 PM   #88
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Sure, it's a matter of balancing now and later, but not sure from the OP what is so bad about the current situation that you need to adjust it.

A family with young kids can enjoy totally fun local vacations. You need "insane" vacations with a one year old?

You need a new car; as opposed to a reliable car?

Wife is already getting to reduce her work schedule to spend more time with kids.

Not sure why eating out should cause stress now (other than the fact that you have young kids).

Also, I can't endorse not fully funding OP and spousal Roth; that will reap huge benefits in the future.

You want to play with the mortgage, not the end of the world.

The one thing I can understand is reducing OP's work schedule to spend more time with the kiddos, but I strongly suspect this can be done without dropping the Roths. You can also reduce the 529s when you are working 80 percent, and pick it up when you return full time.

The 33 year old you is important; but so is the 50 year old you.

But, your choice.
Just wondering - did you intend to post this in the thread about "is ER worth it?"
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Old 02-06-2020, 11:13 PM   #89
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Retired in July. Survived 30 years as NYC teacher.
Love retirement. I think I only get lonely. Seldom bored.

I need a girlfriend. But finding one is difficult.

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Old 02-07-2020, 08:19 AM   #90
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I just rejoined our local YMCA. They have many more classes than they did 15 years ago when I was last a member. I'm taking Tai Chi and I swim laps. They converted their lobby into a hangout with free coffee. People hang out there, talking, reading, on their laptops. Lots of activities for little kids too, so moms (and sometimes dads) and their preschool children are coming and going. I've been in Tai Chi for two weeks and the class is starting to make friends already.

There is a lot of activity during the day at the Y.
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Old 02-07-2020, 09:19 PM   #91
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I think like a lot of people I’m fine being alone the majority of the time but do have moments where I get hit with a sharp ping of loneliness. I think it’s often made worse when I read about friends with their long term spouses or partners doing simple things together and it sounds sort of sweet and comforting.
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