MIL ready for retirement community - advice?

[WM]

My MIL announced this week that she is ready to sell the family home and move to Charleston to live near my BIL, SIL and the grandkids. She has in mind that a continuing care retirement community would be best because she "only wants to move once."

From my initial searching around, CCRCs sound expensive and I'm not sure she can afford that option. I also found some new articles from a few years ago about ones that went bankrupt during the recession. This makes me question whether CCRCs are even a good idea at this point.

MIL is 67, in good health, but acts older. She admits to being lonely and I think she'd be happier in a place with more social activity.

So at the moment she mainly needs to downsize and find a crowd where she can make some friends, but she's also looking toward the future, knowing that she won't be independent forever and she doesn't want to live with family if she can help it.

I found some good advice on older threads here about what to consider when looking at retirement communities, but most people here seemed to be looking more at 55+ communities, not so much transitioning to assisted living.

How important is it to find a place now that will work for the next 30 years (her family tends to be long-lived)? Is that even possible? Advice welcome!

 

[growing_older]

My grandmother enrolled in a CCRC and lived there (progressing through all the levels of care) for more than 20 years. There was plenty of social activity, even as levels of assistance gradually climbed. She was very happy with her choice. Her facility was near family, so people could (and did) visit often, and was a very high quality provider. I imagine that you can find CCRC all across the spectrum from wonderful (my grandmother's experience) to terrible.

 

[Ready]

You know your MIL better than we do, but at 67, she's ready to look for a CCRC? That is when most of America is just getting ready to retire and begin their (hopefully) active retirement. If she doesn't need assistance, why limit her choices to such facilities? Is moving more than once really enough of an issue to move right into one of these communities? What if you promised to help her move as many times as she needs so that she won't have to worry about it?

 

[Tortoise]

At my parent's request, we helped move my folks into a large upscale trailer park with clubhouse, swimming pool, duck ponds, and nice landscaping. My dad passed away a few years after they moved in. My mom, who is 89, knows many of the people in the trailer park and attends many of the functions in the club house. She seems happy. I have asked her if she has considered moving to assisted living, and she says, "Maybe when I'm older."

 

[imoldernu]

You might want to consider reading a lot more about CCRC's, as with any othr situation, prices differ...
Our CCRC is $25K/ yr, which includes all expenses, food, entertainment, transportation and other amenities.
Down the road, in a large "home-care" facility of about 15 persons, the cost is less than $18K.
Alternatives are daycare, which doesn't sound right for your siutuation.

One of the options that is often offered is home visits as needed. Fine for general housekeeping and short term companionship, but with beginning hourly costs of $14/hr., that can be expensive, expecially if 24/7 care is necessary.

We're in a complete facility, in a regular home, but will move to apartments in a few years, and if needed next door, assisted living, or nursing home,all in the same complex.

One of the driving factors here, is the ability to develop social relationships that will continue through the coming years. It's not as easy to do this when one is moving from place to place. We consider this quite important in our later years.

BTW... you are correct in differentiating betweeen 55+ communities and CCRC's. While it may be possible in some smaller less active communities, is could be frustrating for one who cannot join in, and thus become even more alone.

Whatever the outcome... the decision should not be made on the basis of one or two "guided" visits. Much more important to take lots of time, to talk to residents and relatives and the on site caregivers, and to stick around to see what actually happens during the day... Check the number of people on staff, connections with doctors and hospitals, ask about the food, and dig in to find the extra care costs... feeding, footcare, bathing etc.. Also to get a history of the cost indreases over the past several years. Checking with the State is absolutely necessary, as inspection reports and complaints are readily available.

 

[Throwdownmyaceinthehole]

When looking for a place for my mom, (80's), we found a retirement community with independent homes, along with all future levels of care. It was amazing and we are already talking about moving there at 60... Cost was purchasing the home (120k) and then only $35 a month until you moved to the higher care levels. Home is then sold, so no huge investment issue. And as it was a non profit, there was no property tax on the houses. So there are all sorts of places out there, not just the old timey nursing home that many think of.

 

[golftrek]

There are lots of types of Continuing Retirement Communities. We are in our 60s and have our name on the waiting list for a very nice CCC in our area (there are 4 CCCs in our area, all have long waiting lists). We plan to move in we were are in our 70s. The CCC we have chosen has a lump sum buy in and a monthly fee that covers everything from Independent Living through Assisted Living, Memory Care,Skilled Nursing. Some CCCs require you to have long term care insurance, the one we have chosen does not, in fact long term care insurance is not needed and would be superfluous the way this particular CCC is structured.

The only real catch is that when you move in you have to be in fairly good health and you have to be able to live independently. If you have been diagnosed with Alzheimers or some other serious conditions, it is too late and you will not be able to move in. Therefore, you do not want to wait too late. Most folks moving into this CCC are in their 70s.

We have been to many activities at this CCC and it is much like living in a country club community. A lot to do, golf, tennis, trips, etc.

We like the idea that as we age and need more care it will there for us. We will not have to move to find the care we need.

 

[Calico]

When looking for a place for my mom, (80's), we found a retirement community with independent homes, along with all future levels of care. It was amazing and we are already talking about moving there at 60... Cost was purchasing the home (120k) and then only $35 a month until you moved to the higher care levels. Home is then sold, so no huge investment issue. And as it was a non profit, there was no property tax on the houses. So there are all sorts of places out there, not just the old timey nursing home that many think of.

Is the figure of $35 a typo? I just can't imagine any CCRC which costs only $35/month.

 

[Walt34]

My mother lived in a CCRC for 11 years and it worked out great for her. Independent living for all but the last six months and there was always plenty for her to do. Excellent care when she needed assisted living. She never went to the full-care nursing section but I always heard that was excellent too.

We made the effort for FIL but his health deteriorated quickly after the move - diabetic episode - but we have no doubt he would have been better off making that move several years earlier. Excellent care in the full nursing care section.

We've pretty much made the decision to move to a CCRC by the time I'm 70. As golftrek correctly notes most require you to be capable of independent living at the time you move in. The one we're looking at has several payment structures of either the full entrance fee, straight monthly rental, or halfway in between. Not all are the same and of course in addition to considering your own finances you want to look very carefully at theirs. For us, this is something we can only afford to do once but it has the attraction of making a lot of pending difficult issues go away. Well, not "go away" exactly, but planned out ahead of time. Paying the full entrance fee, which amounts to swapping the house equity for that, gets the monthly rent on a two-bedroom house with two-car garage down to about what it costs to own our current home and all the maintenance issues are taken care of so that looks like a wash financially with the benefit of no maintenance. The house is of course somewhat smaller than our current home and on one level but I won't need a shed or a basement full of tools then anyway.

One potential downside for many is that once we're there, we're there. The entrance fee for many CCRC's is pro-rated if you later decide that it isn't for you, or you could rent for while before committing to the buy-in.

Continue to read, read, read on these. Fee structures are all over the map. Many are excellent whether non-profit or for-profit, and of course many are uh, not so excellent.

 

[imoldernu]

Continue to read, read, read on these. Fee structures are all over the map. Many are excellent whether non-profit or for-profit, and of course many are uh, not so excellent.

+1
... and... on the contract part...
This is a big decision, especially for the buy-in (as opposed to the rental), and the small print can be tricky. Pro-rates on cash back (death, moving, changing to assisted living etc) don't always show up in the contract. Some years ago a good friend moved into an apartment bought for $175K, lived there for a year and passed away. Her niece (beneficiery) ended up with the cash return of under $75K. The fine print is important.

 

[WM]

Thanks for all the replies. It sounds like it's basically a matter of due diligence to find a place that she likes, can afford, and looks well-managed and solvent. I think I underestimated the range of options that might be out there.

To Ready's question, I suspect she's hung up on moving only once mainly because this is the first time in 40 years she's done it and of course when you have a house full of stuff it's quite an ordeal. I don't think it's occurred to her that once she has only a couple rooms' worth of things it's a lot easier. Of course stability is nice, since she will hopefully make friends and find a community at the new place, but it won't be the end of the world if she does have to move again for whatever reason.

I agree that 67 isn't particularly old, but she has never been particularly active and I think a semi-contained community (for lack of a better word) will be a good fit for her. I can't imagine any of my other relatives that age being interested in something like that, but I guess everyone's different. I'm sort of hoping that if she finds a place she likes she'll get a little more active and interested in things, but as long as she's happy and not driving BIL crazy, we'll consider it a win!