My retirement quandaries

[ER Eddie]

I've been considering retirement again lately, and as I do, I have a number of inter-related questions that I struggle with. I'm not looking for advice exactly; more like input or others' thoughts/experiences.

I'll try to be brief but probably won't succeed.

1. The question of when to stop work. I'm 55, and I think that I will stop sometime between 56 and 59, maybe 60 at the outside. I've got enough money; that's not the issue. The question is when will it feel right to pull the plug.

There are multiple reasons to continue -- work environment is good, pace is fairly relaxed, I can work 25 hr weeks and get paid full-time, decent benefits and pay, I like the feeling of competence and accomplishment I get, the work feels meaningful to me, I enjoy my coworkers, my boss is easy going, etc.

And there are multiple reasons to go -- I've got more than enough money, work takes the majority of my 'peak' hours and energy, I could use the time to explore other activities and interests, I could build out my social life, etc.

I know no one can answer this for me. It's an individual decision. At the moment, it does not feel right to go. I have a sense that I will stick around until the work feels uninteresting or toxic. Yet I'm concerned that it may never feel that way. I don't want to just keep on working "full time" forever.

2. The question of whether to stop work completely. Going part time isn't an option, since I'm already working part-time hours and getting paid full time, so what's the point. I could conceivably go PRN at my current job, although I suspect I'd be used for the headache cases. Or I could stop completely, then maybe do small amounts of some other type of work (e.g., teaching).

3. The question of all the "self" and energy that has been invested in my work over the years. When I retire, where does all that go? They talk about developing a new identity when you retire. I don't mean that my identity is based solely on my work -- I've never been a career-oriented person, and I've never taken my work all that seriously -- but I have to admit, who I am, and how I think of myself, is bound up in the work I do. I get self-esteem and a sense of identity from work, at least partly. That's not the only place I get it, but that is part. Where do I invest my self, once I stop working?

I have ideas about this, of course -- spiritual development, learning new things, continuing to learn about the things that already interest me, developing more of a social life, taking better care of my health, etc. But it's a question I wrestle with, because it feels like a big project, to take all that energy and self-investment, pull it out of work, and find other places to plug it into.

4. The question of social life. How do I develop a social life and make new friends/relationships, once I retire? I know that sounds a little stupid (it does to my ears, anyhow), but it's something I worry about. I don't have much of a social life outside of work. What happens when I step away from that?

I think about joining book clubs, meetup groups (not many in my area), online dating, etc. I currently have little interest in that, but I suppose that when I step away from work, the motivation will increase. I don't want to end up isolated. I'm an introverted sort of person and tend towards that anyhow.

5. The question of meaningful work. I chose my profession based on a sense that it felt meaningful to me. It certainly wasn't for the money. Doing something meaningful has been important to me. I wonder how I will replace that, if I step away from work. What else can give me a sense of doing something worthwhile or useful, something that uses my skills and talents? There aren't quick and easy answers to that one.

6. The question of where to live. If I took retirement, I'd keep my health insurance intact. With Obamacare going under the axe, my options for leaving the area are slim. I don't mind too much -- it's a nice place to live. But I wonder if there are health insurance options that might allow me to move, if I wanted to. I haven't investigated this much. If there is a possibility of moving, where would I move to? I've gone back and forth on this many times. I've done complex analyses on moving to other states and usually ended up deciding to stay put. Yet, there is that call of the unknown, and a desire for something different.

7. The question of what I will do with myself. What will I do with all that time? I am thinking about it, and I've developed some lists. I think about several areas: health, spirituality, learning new things, friendships and relationships, and interesting activities. So I make lists. Which brings us to the next question.

8. The question of real vs. ideal. How much of my planning is airy-fairy pie in the sky stuff, and how much of it will actually come to fruition? How many of the things I put on my list (my "vision for retirement") will actually turn out to be true? I have plenty of free time now, but I squander large amounts of it.

I could be doing many of the things on my "retirement" list now, but I'm not. I fart away large sections of each day. I can tell myself that's because I work, so I like to relax my mind with dumb stuff in my off-hours, so that pattern will change when I am not working anymore -- but will it? I don't know. How much of a match is there between my ideal version of retirement and what I would actually end up doing?

...

Ok, so those are the main questions I seem to be struggling with. I thought I'd put them out there and see what other people had to say. I'm not looking for advice, exactly; just thoughts, perspectives, experiences.

 

[REWahoo]

I know no one can answer this for me. It's an individual decision.

All eight of your issues are just that - individual decisions. Some you will "know when you get there", some will require trial and error, others a leap of faith. And some you may never figure out - as is the case with many things in life.

No real advise here other than try to enjoy the journey.

 

[target2019]

My 60+ perspective comes from many years of self-employment, with temp jobs from time to time. I usually have freedom to explore new ideas, mostly technological. For close to 40 years I have had a mate.

When I passed 50, I took on an 8-year full-time job. When it ended I started transitioning to retirement in my mind. However, our situation seems to grow more complex each year. Serious contract work appeared, and then a job offer (which I took). My early-retirement ship has sailed away. I was on the deck, but ran back down the gang plank. It was the correct choice for me.

There are several positive things associated with the current job. I hear some of that in your words.

My spouse has worked alongside several highly-regarded MDs in her career. Your self-description reminds me of that. IOW, the job is so rewarding, it is hard to turn away. One fellow went into the office well past the time he was told to give up surgery. He has international recognition, so always plenty of paperwork. But one day the partners had his plants put in the hallway, and changed the lock on his door. An extreme situation, but highlights what might be in store.

It sounds as if you've decided that in 3-5 years, a retirement goal can be created. A lot of self-doubt comes through, though. The social aspect is a central theme. Can you combine that with one pursuit that really interests you? For example, read to others at the local library.

 

[marko]

As noted, many of these questions are valid but highly individually defined. What, when, where, how and so on all depend on each person's needs, personality and situation.

The one question I will comment on is #7. I think most folks here, myself included, worried a bit about 'what to do with all the free time'. I also think that most folks here who worried about that, myself included, will say this: "That's the last thing to worry about! In a year or two you'll wonder how you had time to go to work".

 

[Marita40]

ereddie, I'm 60, not yet retired, and could have written your post. You laid out the issues that are swirling in my head, but not yet written down, quite well. I too don't mind my job--even like it a lot--and thus have not yet reached the moment when I wanted to pull the plug. Yet I could do so. Being single presents its own issues in planning for retirement. I am actively observing friends who have retired recently and have learned a lot about how people do it, their goals, their new activities, etc. Still, I haven't quite been able to define these things for myself yet.

 

[phil1ben]

Just retired two weeks ago. I am 56 and my wife is 53. When I realized that I was just adding to the size of my kids inheritance, it came down to would I rather spend my time left working (I owned my own firm) or playing. I decided to play and sold the firm. The process took two years but I love now choosing which playground I will visit each day.

 

[DawgMan]

Can definitely relate. While a few yrs behind you, I (as probably you and many here) have spent a life time of implementing a plan/setting goals of reaching "retirement", the top of the mountain, ringing the bell of hitting your ER goal... and then you do it and there can be a little bit of a "so what/now what" moment. I get that for those who have had a negative connection with their job /career, the day of ER can be very fulfilling, but like you, I don't dislike my job. I suppose I hoped I would feel euphoria when I rang the bell and it has not happened yet.

 

[travelover]

I've been retired 10 years. From reading your post, it appears that you are happy working, but feel like you should retire because you are financially able to retire. My suggestion would be to keep on working until you don't enjoy it anymore. After all, the whole purpose of retirement is to enjoy yourself. If you are happy now, replacing work with other activities is redundant.

 

[samsterdog]

Good luck with your decision. My thoughts in-line. Cheers.

I've been considering retirement again lately, and as I do, I have a number of inter-related questions that I struggle with. I'm not looking for advice exactly; more like input or others' thoughts/experiences.

I'll try to be brief but probably won't succeed.

1. The question of when to stop work.

Nice to have a job you like. I would have kept mine if I even marginally enjoyed it.

2. The question of whether to stop work completely.

Same as first answer: If you are satisfied, why leave? Especially if there is not a specific thing you are looking to do in retirement. I would likely not have left if I was still interested in what I was doing or at least have decreased my hours.

3. The question of all the "self" and energy that has been invested in my work over the years.

From my own personal perspective from the last 8 months since I ER’d, I have yet to find “the” activity. I have done numerous projects around the house, played lots of golf, increased my exercise, read many books, and become the house-husband since DW works; none have totally fulfilled the w*rk hole. I’m looking for a part-time, low stress j*b to fill that hole as well as appease my envious DW. Therefore, my situation is a bit different than yours. With all that said, I’m glad that I left my j*b and really enjoy the ability to do what I want, when I want.

As for the social life, I have found this to be a more difficult task. All my existing friends work full-time jobs. I entice them for a round of golf during the day sometimes but now that the holiday season and their “use it or lose it” PTO has ended, that will end too. That’s where volunteering or finding a PT j*b might help the socializing end of daily life.

4. The question of social life.

I’ve looked at the meetup groups too. There are many in my area, but most are afterwork activities or mom-centric during the day. Since I neither work, nor have children or the appropriate chromosomes, neither fit. I likely will have to wait for other friends to ER (some are on track but are still years away).

I've thought about starting an ER Meetup.

5. The question of meaningful work.

I would think volunteering or teaching might help that. I’m actually looking for something that is NOT what I did for my career (software development) or at least not to the extent I used to do.

6. The question of where to live.

Hopefully, the new administration will indeed have a replacement for O-care (I’m not looking to start a discussion about this - plenty already). Are you single? Why not rent in different areas to try before settling in? Are you interested in travel? My DW works, so I’m tied to where I am (Orlando area). As soon as she retires, we’ve talked about moving to the beach and then travel some months of the year.

7. The question of what I will do with myself.

I’ve made lists too. Have done many things on those lists. Would be interested to know what items are on your list.

8. The question of real vs. ideal.

Like the dreaded annual goals at work, I put both attainable and “stretch” goals on my list. I have done many of the attainable and have at least started some stretch items. I have definitely followed known ER sociological norms in that I tried to get a large number of attainable goals done quickly after ER and then realized that this wasn’t necessary. Now I do things at my speed, although sometimes accelerated due to DW requests.

 

[bingybear]

I've been retired 10 years. From reading your post, it appears that you are happy working, but feel like you should retire because you are financially able to retire. My suggestion would be to keep on working until you don't enjoy it anymore. After all, the whole purpose of retirement is to enjoy your self. If you are happy now, replacing work with other activities is redundant.

+0.5

I would not use the "work until you don't enjoy it anymore", but "I'd really like to spend time pursuing something else."

If you really have little reason to retire other than you have the money.. don't.

I retired partially due to a medical condition and had other things I wanted to do. I always worked in high stress, long hours positions/environments for the same pay. However, I still have hobbies doing some of the stuff I did at work. I like the technical aspects without the stress.

This is really a personal choice. I envy your position.

 

[ER Eddie]

Thank you for the thoughtful responses, folks. I will continue to ponder.

I realize these are personal decisions, but I figured I'd put them out there anyhow, in the hopes of hearing other people's experiences and thoughts.

I have a feeling I put too many questions/issues in one post. I might have done better to have given each one of them a separate thread (over time, I mean), rather than lumping them all together. But in my head, they are all lumped together, so that's how it came out.

 

[Lsbcal]

...

I could be doing many of the things on my "retirement" list now, but I'm not. I fart away large sections of each day. I can tell myself that's because I work, so I like to relax my mind with dumb stuff in my off-hours, so that pattern will change when I am not working anymore -- but will it? I don't know. How much of a match is there between my ideal version of retirement and what I would actually end up doing?

... I'm not looking for advice, exactly; just thoughts, perspectives, experiences.

My thought is that you should just start chipping away at the (blue) sentence above. Just do it. Try meet-up groups, try dating sites, etc.

Why wait until you irreversibly pull the plug?

 

[bradaz2488]

Only been retired 44 months so I'm still a rookie at the ER game. Retired at 49 and have zero regrets. I too had similar questions & concerns that you listed above before I made the decision to jump off the ER cliff. For me, my w*rk was impacting my health and home life (bringing w*rk home). Since leaving both have improved and I'm very happy. Being happy in life is different for everyone so you need to understand what make you happy. For me, after retirement I realized that I was making the decision more complicated then it really has to be. For me, it is the FREEDOM to do what I want when I want. I do not require a "purpose" in life to be happy. If this make me lazy then so be it... I'm happy .... I do tell people if you honestly "like" your job and it does not impact your health or home life then do not quit and keep banking money until it is the right time. For me, a day of doing nothing is better than a good day at w*rk, which was very rare during my last 3 years at a MegaCorp. If you already reached the FI level then the next step is to really understand what makes you happy and make it happen... Life too short not to be happy. Sorry if I make it sound so simple.. I'm a simple kind of guy..

 

[Midpack]

Like others have said, these are individual choices, there aren't any universal right answers. But I do have some thoughts. I retired at 57, 5+ years ago. And I'm a lot like you - need some purpose in life, make lists, somewhat of an introvert, etc. FWIW:

1. The question of when to stop work. I'm 55, and I think that I will stop sometime between 56 and 59, maybe 60 at the outside. I've got enough money; that's not the issue. The question is when will it feel right to pull the plug.

There are multiple reasons to continue -- work environment is good, pace is fairly relaxed, I can work 25 hr weeks and get paid full-time, decent benefits and pay, I like the feeling of competence and accomplishment I get, the work feels meaningful to me, I enjoy my coworkers, my boss is easy going, etc.

And there are multiple reasons to go -- I've got more than enough money, work takes the majority of my 'peak' hours and energy, I could use the time to explore other activities and interests, I could build out my social life, etc.

I know no one can answer this for me. It's an individual decision. At the moment, it does not feel right to go. I have a sense that I will stick around until the work feels uninteresting or toxic. Yet I'm concerned that it may never feel that way. I don't want to just keep on working "full time" forever.

• FI is not a reason to retire. I was beyond FI too, but I never would have retired early if I still enjoyed my job at all. You'll probably be retired for 30-40 years even if you wait, plenty of time to explore and enjoy retirement.
• Early retirees have more trouble finding peers to play with. Almost everyone your age will still be working full time. Do you want to hang out with 70-somethings every day?

3. The question of all the "self" and energy that has been invested in my work over the years. When I retire, where does all that go? They talk about developing a new identity when you retire. I don't mean that my identity is based solely on my work -- I've never been a career-oriented person, and I've never taken my work all that seriously -- but I have to admit, who I am, and how I think of myself, is bound up in the work I do. I get self-esteem and a sense of identity from work, at least partly. That's not the only place I get it, but that is part. Where do I invest my self, once I stop working?

I have ideas about this, of course -- spiritual development, learning new things, continuing to learn about the things that already interest me, developing more of a social life, taking better care of my health, etc. But it's a question I wrestle with, because it feels like a big project, to take all that energy and self-investment, pull it out of work, and find other places to plug it into.

4. The question of social life. How do I develop a social life and make new friends/relationships, once I retire? I know that sounds a little stupid (it does to my ears, anyhow), but it's something I worry about. I don't have much of a social life outside of work. What happens when I step away from that?

I think about joining book clubs, meetup groups (not many in my area), online dating, etc. I currently have little interest in that, but I suppose that when I step away from work, the motivation will increase. I don't want to end up isolated. I'm an introverted sort of person and tend towards that anyhow.

5. The question of meaningful work. I chose my profession based on a sense that it felt meaningful to me. It certainly wasn't for the money. Doing something meaningful has been important to me. I wonder how I will replace that, if I step away from work. What else can give me a sense of doing something worthwhile or useful, something that uses my skills and talents? There aren't quick and easy answers to that one.

7. The question of what I will do with myself. What will I do with all that time? I am thinking about it, and I've developed some lists. I think about several areas: health, spirituality, learning new things, friendships and relationships, and interesting activities. So I make lists. Which brings us to the next question.

• You have some ideas on activities you'll pursue in retirement, that's good. But if they're really of interest, I'd think you be pursuing them in some fashion now?
• I'd highly recommend you try test drive your future activities well before you retire. If you those activities aren't interesting after all, then what?
• Same with social connections, activities is where you may make most of your new social connections, especially a self described introvert. I'm an introvert, but I don't want to be alone/ isolated all the time.
• One poster suggested volunteering, nothing wrong with that idea. However, I expected volunteering to in part give me purpose in retirement. It has not worked out that way, it's been more frustrating than the corporate world. Volunteers don't have to deliver, they can just quit. Leaders have less accountability, they can quit too - but bad ones may not, as they enjoy the status of being "in charge" even if they accomplish little or nothing.

8. The question of real vs. ideal. How much of my planning is airy-fairy pie in the sky stuff, and how much of it will actually come to fruition? How many of the things I put on my list (my "vision for retirement") will actually turn out to be true? I have plenty of free time now, but I squander large amounts of it.

I could be doing many of the things on my "retirement" list now, but I'm not. I fart away large sections of each day. I can tell myself that's because I work, so I like to relax my mind with dumb stuff in my off-hours, so that pattern will change when I am not working anymore -- but will it? I don't know. How much of a match is there between my ideal version of retirement and what I would actually end up doing?

• I hope all your ideas pan out, and some people just fall easily into a fulfilling retirement, many here have. BUT that's not a given, and your red flags above suggest it may not be an easy transition for you.
• It's unlikely your plans will all pan out. There are surprises even for those fortunate to retire happily.
• Your pattern of 'farting away free time' could change, but as you describe yourself, the odds are against IMO. I am a lot like the person you describe.

 

[ImaCheesehead]

I am curious- why does your employer pay you a full time salary for 25 hours of work per week?

 

[jollystomper]

I have similar thoughts, as I put a "stake in the the ground" about a year ago to retire by the end of June this year. My job situation is similar, I like what I do, I'm getting paid extremely good money for something that at times feels like a hobby, and working from home gives me total control over my work pace.

Now the biggest thing driving me towards retirement is time... just wanting to have the ability to completely control what I do and when I decide to do things. Also, I have seen enough friends and colleagues die to realize that dying on the job is something I'd like to avoid, if possible.

DW and I are both very healthy and active, and enjoy each others company... and we know at our ages (DW is 59), none of this is guaranteed to last. So the time element of spending as much time together as we can as a priority, without having to schedule it around work and vacations, is becoming more important. That also applies to socializing out of work - I am by nature an introvert, but I have gotten more involved in things outside of work and have built up a fairly good social network. I have also the benefit of being from a large family that is still very close and friendly.

So right now, the the major plus for me working is the amount I am paid for what I do. But at this point in our lives, time is more valuable than money... and time we have left is more unknown than the money we have. So more and more I want to focus on time, and choosing how I wish to spend it, because of that.

 

[W2R]

All eight of your issues are just that - individual decisions. Some you will "know when you get there", some will require trial and error, others a leap of faith. And some you may never figure out - as is the case with many things in life.

No real advise here other than try to enjoy the journey.

I like what REWahoo had to say about it.

Also, it doesn't sound to me like you are ready to retire yet, since I guess your thoughts of retirement seem to just lead you to thoughts of missing work, and show no interest in doing anything else.

As for what you would do, and what social life you would have, these two questions might really be the same question. You'll do what appeals to you, maybe with a little trial and error, and you'll probably meet other retirees with similar interests along the way. We met a lot of really nice retirees at the gym during our first years of retirement, for example. (We deliberately chose a gym that has older members.)

As for where you would live, there is no rush to figure that out. After you retire, you can travel around and look at potential retirement locations if you want to do that. Or not.

Some retirees enjoy taking a part time job doing something that is purely for fun. Others, like me, wouldn't work again for all the tea in China. This is a very individual thing and you can just play it by ear after you retire.

 

[travelover]

............I have a feeling I put too many questions/issues in one post. I might have done better to have given each one of them a separate thread (over time, I mean), rather than lumping them all together. But in my head, they are all lumped together, so that's how it came out.

In my experience, any number of questions per thread over one is too many. Most of us don't have the patience to slog through a series of questions. The good news is you can grind through all of them in separate threads for the same price. Also use the Google search engine available here as many of these have been discussed in the past.

 

[Chuckanut]

My suggestion would be to keep on working until you don't enjoy it anymore. After all, the whole purpose of retirement is to enjoy yourself. If you are happy now, replacing work with other activities is redundant.

I agree. Assuming you can afford it, retire when work gets in the way of doing other things that are more important that work. But, if you enjoy your work, and can do the other stuff you enjoy as much or more than work... well, many people would love to have that in their lives. You are blessed.

 

[TimSF]

What a great post! You're obviously giving this a great deal of thought and that is a good thing. The others are correct - this is an individual dilemma only you can answer - but, in the spirit of taking your questions at face value, I will give you my perspective.

I've been considering retirement again lately, and as I do, I have a number of inter-related questions that I struggle with. I'm not looking for advice exactly; more like input or others' thoughts/experiences.

I'll try to be brief but probably won't succeed.

1. The question of when to stop work. I'm 55, and I think that I will stop sometime between 56 and 59, maybe 60 at the outside. I've got enough money; that's not the issue. The question is when will it feel right to pull the plug.

There are multiple reasons to continue -- work environment is good, pace is fairly relaxed, I can work 25 hr weeks and get paid full-time, decent benefits and pay, I like the feeling of competence and accomplishment I get, the work feels meaningful to me, I enjoy my coworkers, my boss is easy going, etc.

And there are multiple reasons to go -- I've got more than enough money, work takes the majority of my 'peak' hours and energy, I could use the time to explore other activities and interests, I could build out my social life, etc.

I know no one can answer this for me. It's an individual decision. At the moment, it does not feel right to go. I have a sense that I will stick around until the work feels uninteresting or toxic. Yet I'm concerned that it may never feel that way. I don't want to just keep on working "full time" forever.

My sense is that when it is the right time, you will know it. That was how it was for me. As a Chinese philosopher is quoted as saying, "In all action, watch the timing."

2. The question of whether to stop work completely. Going part time isn't an option, since I'm already working part-time hours and getting paid full time, so what's the point. I could conceivably go PRN at my current job, although I suspect I'd be used for the headache cases. Or I could stop completely, then maybe do small amounts of some other type of work (e.g., teaching).

You've answered this question already - going part-time is not the answer. What about volunteering for a cause you support using the skills you acquired in your career?

3. The question of all the "self" and energy that has been invested in my work over the years. When I retire, where does all that go? They talk about developing a new identity when you retire. I don't mean that my identity is based solely on my work -- I've never been a career-oriented person, and I've never taken my work all that seriously -- but I have to admit, who I am, and how I think of myself, is bound up in the work I do. I get self-esteem and a sense of identity from work, at least partly. That's not the only place I get it, but that is part. Where do I invest my self, once I stop working?

I have ideas about this, of course -- spiritual development, learning new things, continuing to learn about the things that already interest me, developing more of a social life, taking better care of my health, etc. But it's a question I wrestle with, because it feels like a big project, to take all that energy and self-investment, pull it out of work, and find other places to plug it into.

This was one of my questions too, as I contemplated an early departure from my 25-year career. You will always have the "identity" of what you accomplished in your career; no one can take that away from you. But my sense is that you will soon discover that this is not very important in the larger scheme of things. We all leave our careers - one way or another - and, frankly, are quickly forgotten by those who remain behind. The option to choose HOW you leave is really a treasure and a privilege.

4. The question of social life. How do I develop a social life and make new friends/relationships, once I retire? I know that sounds a little stupid (it does to my ears, anyhow), but it's something I worry about. I don't have much of a social life outside of work. What happens when I step away from that?

I think about joining book clubs, meetup groups (not many in my area), online dating, etc. I currently have little interest in that, but I suppose that when I step away from work, the motivation will increase. I don't want to end up isolated. I'm an introverted sort of person and tend towards that anyhow.

You are correct that this is very important, and you need to plan for this. It sounds like, as for many of us, work was an excuse to not connect with others in your community. Just do it. Maybe start now, before you quit working.

5. The question of meaningful work. I chose my profession based on a sense that it felt meaningful to me. It certainly wasn't for the money. Doing something meaningful has been important to me. I wonder how I will replace that, if I step away from work. What else can give me a sense of doing something worthwhile or useful, something that uses my skills and talents? There aren't quick and easy answers to that one.

Volunteer. There is a big wide world of organizations doing meaningful work that you can connect with and support.

6. The question of where to live. If I took retirement, I'd keep my health insurance intact. With Obamacare going under the axe, my options for leaving the area are slim. I don't mind too much -- it's a nice place to live. But I wonder if there are health insurance options that might allow me to move, if I wanted to. I haven't investigated this much. If there is a possibility of moving, where would I move to? I've gone back and forth on this many times. I've done complex analyses on moving to other states and usually ended up deciding to stay put. Yet, there is that call of the unknown, and a desire for something different.

This is a question many of us who ER'ed with the ACA are currently asking ourselves. Obviously, it is too soon to know. But where you live ultimately needs to be a place where you feel happy and connected; insurance considerations are secondary.

7. The question of what I will do with myself. What will I do with all that time? I am thinking about it, and I've developed some lists. I think about several areas: health, spirituality, learning new things, friendships and relationships, and interesting activities. So I make lists. Which brings us to the next question.

No time like the present to begin developing connections, communities, hobbies, volunteer obligations, through which you can answer this question for yourself.

8. The question of real vs. ideal. How much of my planning is airy-fairy pie in the sky stuff, and how much of it will actually come to fruition? How many of the things I put on my list (my "vision for retirement") will actually turn out to be true? I have plenty of free time now, but I squander large amounts of it.

Maybe you 'squander' free time because that is what is best for you now. In retirement, you will need to take control of how you structure your time. Do something; and see where it leads. Join a club. Take a trip. Invite those friends over for dinner that you have been meaning to do for a while. Volunteer. Enjoy the arts/culture. Experience something you've never done before. You will find the world opening up to you rather than getting smaller.

I could be doing many of the things on my "retirement" list now, but I'm not. I fart away large sections of each day. I can tell myself that's because I work, so I like to relax my mind with dumb stuff in my off-hours, so that pattern will change when I am not working anymore -- but will it? I don't know. How much of a match is there between my ideal version of retirement and what I would actually end up doing?

...

Ok, so those are the main questions I seem to be struggling with. I thought I'd put them out there and see what other people had to say. I'm not looking for advice, exactly; just thoughts, perspectives, experiences.

 

[Meadbh]

I see a consistent theme throughout the OP's questions. How does one prepare, psychologically, for retirement when one is already FI?

My first thought is that it would be counterproductive to retire immediately just because the financial numbers work, if the OP enjoys his job. But it is important to plan for the future. Either the OP will retire some day, or he will die first. Possible scenarios include becoming tired of work, developing a health problem, having a family crisis, or being made redundant. Priorities will change. It is better to make the decision to retire following mindful preparation, than to be unprepared and have that decision made by other people.

There are some great strategies in Ernie Zelinski's books "Retire happy, wild and free" and "The joy of not working".

Ernie Zelinski - International Bestselling Author, Innovator, Speaker, and Unconventional Career Expert - Home

 

[PaddyMac]

I understand a lot of what the OP said because I had some of the same concerns (particularly the loss of identity tied to work).

I think what comes through most strongly is that you need to find out what you are retiring "to" as you already know what you retiring "from". You need to find things that interest you, and perhaps volunteering or teaching feels more like work than fun.

As a computer geek, I tried some art classes a few years back and became hooked. There are so many aspects to art besides painting, so I would start by just taking some classes at your local community college. Try pottery, drawing, wood working, whatever sounds interesting. It's only a few hours a week for a few weeks, and if it's a dud, at least you can say that you tried it. You will also meet lots of new people. Artists do not work 9-5 nor do they "retire", so you won't find the usual megacorp mentality. (Actually, taking art classes is what led me to want to retire early; most of the women I met were older than me and didn't have to work for one reason or another.)

 

[ER Eddie]

I want to respond to at least some of the thoughtful posts in this thread, which I appreciate. Apologies for giving brief responses, especially to the people who were generous enough to reply in depth, but I'm in the middle of a you-know-what day, and I need to get back to it. But I wanted to reply to a few comments.

My spouse has worked alongside several highly-regarded MDs in her career. Your self-description reminds me of that. IOW, the job is so rewarding, it is hard to turn away. One fellow went into the office well past the time he was told to give up surgery. He has international recognition, so always plenty of paperwork. But one day the partners had his plants put in the hallway, and changed the lock on his door. An extreme situation, but highlights what might be in store.

lol, I hope it doesn't come to that! And I'm not quite that attached to my work.

To clarify, there have been times on my job, and not too long ago, either, when I was really fed up, and I could think of nothing BUT early retirement. It's part of why I joined this community, as a matter of fact. Things have changed a lot for the better in the last few years, though.

The one question I will comment on is #7. I think most folks here, myself included, worried a bit about 'what to do with all the free time'. I also think that most folks here who worried about that, myself included, will say this: "That's the last thing to worry about! In a year or two you'll wonder how you had time to go to work".

Yes, I've been reading here for a while, and I see that theme repeatedly: "I don't have enough time to do everything I'd like to do." That's encouraging.

ereddie, I'm 60, not yet retired, and could have written your post. You laid out the issues that are swirling in my head, but not yet written down, quite well.

Thanks; I'm glad. I think it helped me, too, to just write it out. It can feel confusing, because there are so many issues intertwined. It helps me to get it out on paper (or electronic post, anyhow). It helps me sort them out a little.

it came down to would I rather spend my time left working (I owned my own firm) or playing.

I like that way of putting it. My job is not play, that's for sure. It's interesting and challenging, but it's also pretty serious.

That's part of why I "fart around" a lot during off hours. Which is not as bad as it sounds, really. Somewhere in one of Tom Hodgkinson's books (How to be Idle, How to be Free) are some good thoughts on the virtues of "just mucking about."

I've been retired 10 years. From reading your post, it appears that you are happy working, but feel like you should retire because you are financially able to retire. My suggestion would be to keep on working until you don't enjoy it anymore.

Well, it's not so much that I believe I "should" retire because I'm financially able. I understand that FI doesn't dictate retirement. I do want to retire, for reasons other than FI. It's just that, as I have planned for that retirement, I am coming up against obstacles or reservations in my own mind.

Good luck with your decision. My thoughts in-line. Cheers.

Thanks for your thoughtful reply. Lots to think about.

I would not use the "work until you don't enjoy it anymore", but "I'd really like to spend time pursuing something else."

If you really have little reason to retire other than you have the money.. don't.

I think my OP must have come across as if I have no reasons for retiring except I'm financially able to. That's not the case. I didn't go in depth into that, because I knew I was already posting quite a lot. So it may have come across more "con" and less "pro" retirement than I actually feel.

There are many reasons for me to want to retire. Off the top of my head:

- opportunity to take classes
- opportunity to deepen my spiritual life
- opportunity to broaden and deepen my social life
- adventure of reinventing myself
- freedom -- not "having to" go to work, being able to do what I want, when I want
- autonomy (very important to me), not having to be under someone else's authority
- doing something new (I like my job but I've been doing it almost 20 years, and there are times it feels like "here we go again")
- opportunity to learn new things, develop new hobbies and interests
- opportunity to be more involved in giving/charitable causes
- more time to take care of my health
- more time to enjoy nature, go on long trips

There is more, but that's what occurs to me at the moment.

... after retirement I realized that I was making the decision more complicated then it really has to be. For me, it is the FREEDOM to do what I want when I want. I do not require a "purpose" in life to be happy. If this make me lazy then so be it... I'm happy .... I do tell people if you honestly "like" your job and it does not impact your health or home life then do not quit and keep banking money until it is the right time. For me, a day of doing nothing is better than a good day at w*rk, which was very rare during my last 3 years at a MegaCorp. If you already reached the FI level then the next step is to really understand what makes you happy and make it happen... Life too short not to be happy. Sorry if I make it sound so simple.. I'm a simple kind of guy..

That's okay, I like keeping it simple. I do have a way of over-complicating things sometimes. There are some aspects of your situation that don't fit mine (e.g., it's important for me to feel like I'm engaged in meaningful activity at least some of the time, and I don't find my work toxic), but your overall point is well taken.

Like others have said, these are individual choices, there aren't any universal right answers. But I do have some thoughts. I retired at 57, 5+ years ago. And I'm a lot like you - need some purpose in life, make lists, somewhat of an introvert, etc. FWIW:

Thanks for your in-depth responses, Midpack. Appreciate you taking the time. Lots of good observations.

I am curious- why does your employer pay you a full time salary for 25 hours of work per week?

I'm salary, so I get paid for getting the job done rather than a particular amount of hours. I've been able to get it done in 25 hours, most of the time. I'm fortunate enough to be able to come and go as I please.

The 25 hours is just at-work time, though. I'm not counting time spent commuting, preparing for work, or reading about work-related subjects at home. I also have days (infrequent) when work stresses me out, and I'm up till 3 a.m. churning. So it's really more than 25.

I have seen enough friends and colleagues die to realize that dying on the job is something I'd like to avoid, if possible.

... at this point in our lives, time is more valuable than money... and time we have left is more unknown than the money we have. So more and more I want to focus on time, and choosing how I wish to spend it, because of that.

That's a good frame of reference. I do think about mortality a lot. I have always been like that. A couple years ago, I had a medical crisis and almost died; the life/death issue was not so theoretical at that point. You're right, no one knows how much time we have left. That's one of the things pushing me towards retirement.

it doesn't sound to me like you are ready to retire yet, since I guess your thoughts of retirement seem to just lead you to thoughts of missing work, and show no interest in doing anything else.

Hopefully, I've clarified that above. I do have an interest in retiring and doing other things. I guess I didn't emphasize that enough in my OP.

It's true that I'm to ready to retire right now. But I do foresee myself retiring in the next 1 to 4 years. I'm trying to prepare for that -- to build a "vision for retirement," so to speak -- but I'm having some questions come up. That's what I was trying to say.

In my experience, any number of questions per thread over one is too many. Most of us don't have the patience to slog through a series of questions.

Yes. I was hoping people could just pick out and respond to the individual questions that stirred their interest, rather than feeling as if they had to respond to the whole set.

What a great post! You're obviously giving this a great deal of thought and that is a good thing. The others are correct - this is an individual dilemma only you can answer - but, in the spirit of taking your questions at face value, I will give you my perspective.

Thanks, Tim. And thanks for the thoughtful responses. I appreciate them.

I see a consistent theme throughout the OP's questions. How does one prepare, psychologically, for retirement when one is already FI?

Good call. That's how I see it, too.

... There are some great strategies in Ernie Zelinski's books "Retire happy, wild and free" and "The joy of not working".

Read them both. Very fun and inspiring books.

I think what comes through most strongly is that you need to find out what you are retiring "to" as you already know what you retiring "from". You need to find things that interest you, and perhaps volunteering or teaching feels more like work than fun.

Yup, that indeed is the issue. A vision for what retirement will look like. I've been asking myself these questions for a couple years now, off and on, and I've done plenty of reading and pondering. Sometimes I think I have to get it all figured out, but then I'll remember I can't really do that, and it's going to be a process.

Thank you everyone for your ideas and input!

 

[TGL405]

You had mentioned an interest in "teaching" in your post. Do have an opportunity to do any mentoring at your current job? That may be a way to find a certain amount of fulfillment or satisfaction while you are still working. I'm sure there are many things others can learn from you.

I'm not retired yet but getting closer and have found alot of satisfaction from mentoring some of the younger folks who still have long careers ahead of them.

 

[kcowan]

I think you need to take the attitude that everything will be different because it can be.

- you will develop new friends
- you will pursue different hobbies and leisure activities
- you will probably move to a better environment without ties to work (commute, weather)
- you will have more time for some of the things you want to do
- you will eat better
- you will exercise more

These are some of the choices you will have. You may take some or none.