NYT article on ER

[rkser]

Hi,

I find this article very strange as I & DW have experienced nothing of such .

My friends, acquaintances & neighbors have been curious as to how we managed that. Our story & reply usually is that our kids are on their own, there are no more major commitments & we lived below our means during our working life(Only if we choose to explain)

I retired(On disability) last year at few months short of age 59, & when DW was 55.

The answer to the usual question as to what do we do the whole day, I ask what they do on their Saturdays, & then reply, we do the same every day.

Usual response is Lucky Bast*&d, maybe a little tinge of envy or praise as to how well we managed our lives. Usually they say something like they can not think of retiring for another 10 yrs or some such.

In general I have not faced any unappreciative thoughts/words /questions. I do not know if they may come in future, but I do not/will not usually care & maybe respond in something unmentionable .

So I just say, I do not know, but it may be in the people's heads(That they do not deserve the good times & choose to feel such & act that way)

Heck, friends we did what we did(ER) to enjoy our lives while things are still going great . We would care less if some unlucky working ones feel that way.

Remember we paid our dues first for enjoying our retired lives.

 

[6miths]

"What do you do?"

"I'm retired."

"You look to young to retire."

"That's the whole point."

This is my standard response. As well as saying that now I just do the fun stuff.

 

[bearkeley]

"What do you do?"

"I'm retired."

"You look to young to retire."

"That's the whole point."

Crickets

We retired before 50 and currently traveling. We have said and heard these ( the last time was actually 5 hours ago!) and also experienced the following:

- everyone asks my husband what he did for a living, but only about 10 percent of the people we meet ask me

- "we don't have kids" .....a great 'excuse' we use when we meet new people our age. If that isn't enough, we then say we manage rental properties....they seem to relate more with that

-worst thing is, we feel that we often have to downplay our retirement, especially when talking to someone who clearly has worked hard and will most likely need to work the rest of their lives. "We had a history of early deaths in our family so decided to travel now while we still can. We can always get a job later if we had to".

 

[kcowan]

What other people think of me is none of my business.

Gary Oldman
This seems to make my life easier. It sure does shorten my reading list!

 

[Options]

Yes, I agree. Although most of my acquaintances/friends are pretty polite and dont express their personal views about this kind of stuff.

Well they're not being impolite, it's just that everyone has all these projections from MSM about what retirement "should be". A lot of what retirees are "supposed" to be thinking and doing (and consequently what I thought I should be thinking and doing) I've found I have no interest in. For all the hoopla articles such as these whip up, I've found it's simply a matter of letting many things fall naturally into place.

I'm not striving to be "happy" in retirement because I find the concept nebulous at best. Striving for contentment has much more utility, and by that measure, I've far exceeded my expectations of what a successful retirement would look like.

 

[Focus]

Well they're not being impolite, it's just that everyone has all these projections from MSM about what retirement "should be". A lot of what retirees are "supposed" to be thinking and doing (and consequently what I thought I should be thinking and doing) I've found I have no interest in.

This is an interesting point. In the past, the fact that retirement was mainly leisure was a given. Now the emerging theme is that you have to strive to find your "true" purpose and make a positive impact on society until your dying day. I think some of this might be a reflection of the increasing influence of idealistic millennial thinking. It holds appeal, for sure, but it's unrealistic and might become yet another social expectation to overcome (or ignore).

 

[Bryan Barnfellow]

Here are a few of my favorites:

"I manage investments for some really nice people."
"What do I do all day? Well, what I used to do on weekends; only now 7 days a week."
"Retired? Not at all. I am in a phase of restructuring I like to call Bryan Release 2.0"

More often when I say that I am retired and they want to know more, I follow up by saying that we started an intense saving program in 1992 and were lucky in our investments. That presents a mix of "hard work" and "dumb luck." Both of these combined seem to work well--we deserve it; but not all of it.

 

[Bestwifeever]

The easiest thing is to turn the conversation back to them. "What do you do all day?" "Whatever I want. What's up in your life?"

 

[Options]

Everyone's different. Some people really do love vacations, trips and the whole bucket list thing. Others rush out to volunteer because of the whole "giving back" thing. Still others go back to work, in their prior field or a new one. What's important is to do what you feel is right for you and not what is implied by some NY Times article whose thinly veiled purpose is solely to justify accompanying advertising. It's also important to remember retirees are a juicy advertising target, ripe for manipulation of the worst kind.

Never having made a New Year's resolution in my life, I have decided to tell everyone my 2017 New Year's resolution is to add retirement and plans in retirement to the three things I already tell people I never discuss: religion, politics*, and (as of 2016) diet/exercise.

*Flatly telling people I refuse to talk about politics was a godsend during the whole recent bernie/trump/hillary/elections whirlpool.

 

[daylatedollarshort]

This is an interesting point. In the past, the fact that retirement was mainly leisure was a given. Now the emerging theme is that you have to strive to find your "true" purpose and make a positive impact on society until your dying day.

I used to be more like that until we started seeing the mortality tables play out in real life with the people around us. We have friends and neighbors that didn't get to see one day of retirement and some made it but passed away not too long afterwards. So we're just enjoying how many healthy years we have left and will try to do some volunteer work along the way, and hopefully have a bit left over to leave to charity.

 

[Winemaker]

I usually take nyt articles with a grain of salt. Yes, nyt.

 

[ziggy29]

It seems like many retirees don't care what other people think about, for example, their wardrobe and how they dress post-retirement, so why care what people think about the decision to retire at all, let alone "early" as society defines it?

I still remind people who think it's "selfish" to retire early that it's actually an act of social conscience -- that it is socially and economically beneficial to "create" a job through retirement for someone who needs it more than I do. Maybe your retirement gets someone else off of unemployment. Or off of ACA subsidies. Or maybe they just pay a lot more in taxes.

 

[marko]

It seems like many retirees don't care what other people think about, for example, their wardrobe and how they dress post-retirement, so why care what people think about the decision to retire at all, let alone "early" as society defines it?

One of the requirements of LBYM is not caring what others think.
For many/most, LBYM is a requirement for ER.

I suspect folks on this forum over-represent the NCWOT (not care what others think) crowd.

 

[daylatedollarshort]

In my experience I think the only people that seemed upset at the idea that we retired were the ones that would like to but could not afford to do so themselves. People in our senior groups sometimes remark at how young we are but in a joking way. We've been called the "babies". Nobody cares since they are all retired. They seem happy to have some younger members.

The only negative reactions have been from people our own age who are not retired and even then only a handful of petty or big hat, no cattle types (as described in The Millionaire Next Door).

 

[gauss]

Very true, but it can be extremely challenging when everyone an ER person talks to has an opinion, judgment, etc., expressed or otherwise, about what they--and by extension you--should be doing. I have decided to not talk about my ER anymore as everyone I talk to seems to be looking in the mirror and reflecting their projections.

I saw the article elsewhere but didn't read it as I immediately saw it for what it was: non-actionable click bait.

Very early in my retirement process I knew that I would need to have a narrative ready to go regarding this. DW was still working so I definitely owed it to her to "own" the fact that I ER'd and not disguise it.

I looked at all the facts and circumstances that I saw and developed my narrative. Now I bring it out when I need too. It was time well spent in my case.

-gauss

 

[Music Lover]

This is an interesting point. In the past, the fact that retirement was mainly leisure was a given. Now the emerging theme is that you have to strive to find your "true" purpose and make a positive impact on society until your dying day. I think some of this might be a reflection of the increasing influence of idealistic millennial thinking. It holds appeal, for sure, but it's unrealistic and might become yet another social expectation to overcome (or ignore).

I went on a retirement seminar a couple years before retiring. They had the usual speakers going over the pension plan, health/aging, CPP, etc. Then they had the "life coach" speaker who asked "How many of you think you'll take up a hobby when you retire?"

Out of about 100 people, half of them raised their hands. Her response, "If you're this close to retirement and don't already have a hobby, you won't start one when you retire. All retirement gives you is more time to do the things you like, and if you like something you would already be doing it."

I think the same thing applies to charity and "making an impact". If it was important enough, then people would be doing it before they retire and not waiting until they have retired to give back. My hobby is music...I play in a few bands. Retirement has given me more time to practice, more time to jam with others, and more time to take some advanced lessons. I also golf more often due to the extra free time, and read a few more hours a week. But, other than filling in those extra hours, everything else is more or less the same as it was before I retired.

 

[Teacher Terry]

I retired at 58 by choice and my DH was laid off shortly after at 53. He has worked on and off for the past 5 years. He will take a consulting project and then not work for a year or so. We each have a small pension. Some of our friends do also so were not jealous. However, as I have mentioned before we lost a couple that were 10 years older then us and were really jealous. They could have worked for the government but chose to work p.t. from home for themselves and now were not going to be able to completely retire ever. It really made them mad that we had pensions and were not working f.t. I work p.t. by choice.

 

[Johanson]

good article - I plan on going down as a loud and proud early retiree myself

we had a guy at our club that retired from ups in his 50s and played golf everyday; I think UPS has/had a good esop or something

one of the cheapest guys I've ever met. nice guy tho

he quit after we voted on a $5k assessment and he always made his F&B minimum to a dime

The brother of a good friend of mine started working at UPS while in college. It's the only job application he has ever filled out. He makes well over 6 figures every year and plays golf multiple times/week. He drives a semi for them on the same route 5 days/week that includes overtime (230 miles one way). He'll be 53 shortly but I have no idea if he plans on retiring early.

 

[jjquantz]

Very early in my retirement process I knew that I would need to have a narrative ready to go regarding this. DW was still working so I definitely owed it to her to "own" the fact that I ER'd and not disguise it.

I looked at all the facts and circumstances that I saw and developed my narrative. Now I bring it out when I need too. It was time well spent in my case.

-gauss

A little bit of this for me, as well. DW and I were cruising along saving lotws of money from our combined salaries when the little non-profit I worked for decided to take a turn in a different direction. I was managing three grants that expired simultaneously the year I turned 55 and didn't really want to go in the direction the organization was headed. So DW and I ran the numbers for "maintain the current standard of living" given different work history's effect on SS, pension accrual rate, etc., and it came down to the following 3 scenarios:

A) I retire at 55 and DW at 62, or
B) DW and I both retire at 60, or
C) DW retires at 55 and I retire at 67.


Given the opportunity I had at 55, DW graciously said that I didn't need to continue.

Now, just how does one put that into a soundbite for casual conversation?
So we developed our story which basically leaves out the fact that we ran numbers and made a logical decision based on them. The summary we give is, "We could afford to have JJ retire and DW still really likes her job." Which is true, as far as it goes.

The only people who have been uncomfortable with this are some of DW's women coworkers who feel that it is just WRONG to have the male in a couple retire before the female - regardless of the finances of the situation.

 

[jjquantz]

I went on a retirement seminar a couple years before retiring. They had the usual speakers going over the pension plan, health/aging, CPP, etc. Then they had the "life coach" speaker who asked "How many of you think you'll take up a hobby when you retire?"

Out of about 100 people, half of them raised their hands. Her response, "If you're this close to retirement and don't already have a hobby, you won't start one when you retire. All retirement gives you is more time to do the things you like, and if you like something you would already be doing it."

I think the same thing applies to charity and "making an impact". If it was important enough, then people would be doing it before they retire and not waiting until they have retired to give back. My hobby is music...I play in a few bands. Retirement has given me more time to practice, more time to jam with others, and more time to take some advanced lessons. I also golf more often due to the extra free time, and read a few more hours a week. But, other than filling in those extra hours, everything else is more or less the same as it was before I retired.

This! While working (even though I rarely worked more than a 40 hour week) I had NO time to find a group to play music with, practice, rehearse, take lessons, etc., etc. So I would do some practicing and play for my own enjoyment, but without a performance outlet, there wasn't a real incentive to develop my skills.

Retirement has definitely expanded the opportunities for my musical hobby. It has taken a couple of years, but I'm starting to see a payoff and the performance opportunities are starting to develop. The hard thing for me is to keep away from the thought, "If only I had studied music in college." I need to enjoy the moment and not reflect on the past.

 

[Focus]

Her response, "If you're this close to retirement and don't already have a hobby, you won't start one when you retire. All retirement gives you is more time to do the things you like, and if you like something you would already be doing it."

That hasn't been my experience. I discovered shortly after RE that some of my previous longstanding hobbies were there only to help me de-stress from work. Once work and the related stress were behind me, my interest in those hobbies dissipated. For me, retirement pretty much cleaned the slate.

 

[Music Lover]

This! While working (even though I rarely worked more than a 40 hour week) I had NO time to find a group to play music with, practice, rehearse, take lessons, etc., etc. So I would do some practicing and play for my own enjoyment, but without a performance outlet, there wasn't a real incentive to develop my skills.

Retirement has definitely expanded the opportunities for my musical hobby. It has taken a couple of years, but I'm starting to see a payoff and the performance opportunities are starting to develop. The hard thing for me is to keep away from the thought, "If only I had studied music in college." I need to enjoy the moment and not reflect on the past.

I have no regrets...but then again, I don't sing or write songs.

It's too hard to make money in music these days. Other than a few lucky people in my city, most musicians have to give lessons or take on other work to pay the bills. I'm happily retired and get to play music 100% on my own terms, and I wouldn't want it any other way.

 

[Music Lover]

That hasn't been my experience. I discovered shortly after RE that some of my previous longstanding hobbies were there only to help me de-stress from work. Once work and the related stress were behind me, my interest in those hobbies dissipated. For me, retirement pretty much cleaned the slate.

Others on this site have said that their need to travel diminished once retired as that was their stress reliever, and I can understand that way of thinking. But, how many people have actually taken up a hobby that they didn't already do once they retired? I don't think that many have...

 

[EastWest Gal]

This! While working (even though I rarely worked more than a 40 hour week) I had NO time to find a group to play music with, practice, rehearse, take lessons, etc., etc. So I would do some practicing and play for my own enjoyment, but without a performance outlet, there wasn't a real incentive to develop my skills.



Retirement has definitely expanded the opportunities for my musical hobby. It has taken a couple of years, but I'm starting to see a payoff and the performance opportunities are starting to develop. The hard thing for me is to keep away from the thought, "If only I had studied music in college." I need to enjoy the moment and not reflect on the past.

It is easier to find performance outlets when you retire. Two early retirees I know: one who worked for megacorp and retired at age 55. He is a good bass and guitar player and does lots of gigs, some jazz, some theater. Another is s retired band director. He plays keyboard and sax and plays loads of wedding gigs in the Poconos. I'm sure their playing has improved immensely since retirement. Once you start playing more, more opportunities to play just start showing up.

 

[msieweke]

Planning what to do with myself post-retirement was harder and more important than figuring out the money aspect. I followed much of the advice in "The Joy of Not Working". It was very helpful in organizing my thoughts. Has anyone else here read it?

I started talking about retirement almost a year before setting a date. The guys at work had a pool, betting on whether I would or wouldn't take the plunge. My boss wouldn't believe me until I turned in my 8 week notice. (BTW - He was laid off two weeks before my final day!) Since I retired most people are just curious.

The strangest response came from my brother-in-law. I told him the things I planned to do, a few of which might earn some money. He said "You're not really retired, then." I said "I think I get to decide what retirement means."