What's Good About Being Retired?

[coalduck]

My pat answer

Whenever I'm asked any form of the question "How's retirement treating you?" , I always just say "I wish I could tell you about great adventures I've been on, or all the projects I'm getting done around the house, but for me it all boils down to 'I just don't have to go to work in the morning'"

 

[ER Eddie]

Sounds like you’re getting closer to being emotionally ready. When you get to the point that you know in your gut it’s what you want to do, there will be no question - you’ll be ready and you’ll know it!

I think I crossed that line a couple days ago, actually. I was reflecting on this yesterday. Something has happened in the past few days. I feel very settled about it. I'm going to retire in 8 months. The decision has been made. At a gut level, it's very clear; there is no doubt. There's no more need for analysis -- no more weighing the pros and cons; no more intentional shifting of my focus from losses to gains; no more need to compile long lists of reasons.

I feel very at peace about it now. It's just ... settled.

Knowing me, I'll have some worries or doubts crop up as I get closer to the date. But for now at least, I'm enjoying the peace of mind. It's nice not to be questioning, recalculating, and constantly reconsidering my position. The decision has been made, and it feels completely right.

Thanks to everyone for their input. It definitely helped.

 

[Kroeran]

You are describing Hell on Earth from my point of view!

Why do activities, favored by the older crowd, have such undignified names? Pickleball. Shuffleboard. Pee-nockle.

I don’t think we would buy a condo ever again. Another layer of government to worry about, with their hands in your pocket. DWs are generally nervous in Florida without a gate, but hoods with a shared gate and lawn mowing as the only amenities are emerging. Cypress Walk Fort Myers for example.

Like an office romance gone bad, a gated community friendship that you are trying to dial back can be awkward. We end up avoiding the shared anenities to avoid the high school dramas of who is hanging with who. We get dropped off at the back door of our condo to avoid the prying eyes of jealous neighbours we are less friendly with.

Many if not most people change neighbourhoods as a social or condo politics reset.

I joke about moving to a compound in Lehigh Acres. You can get a century home in Arcadia for $100k. Houseboat have no property tax? On the other hand one couple that moved to a regular hood moved again to a gated due to social isolation.

Pickleball is a super effective and cheap way for active couples and singles to get out of the house, get exercise, and socialize, anywhere in North America.

Exercise adds half a decade to life, social exercise like racket sports add about a decade, apparently. I love the fact the picklers are there every morning and I can drop in day and time I wish with zero commitment.

The name traces back to rowing sport and made up teams of spares thrown in a boat like pickles in a jar. Pickleball is made up game combining several racket sports.

 

[Dtail]

Could probably do an entire thread on Florida gated communities, considerations, lessons learned.

We are in a FLA gated community and loving it. The politics are fairly even on both sides, which works for us.
We actually didn't go into a 55+ community due to the potential high schoolish cliques we have heard about.
Our community has a mix of retirees, working folks, etc.

 

[kcowan]

The time to do anything I want.
Every day is just another day. No fear of Monday morning.
Learn new things. For me it was certain volunteering/ playing pickleball and discovering this site.
Taking naps from time to time.
Moving to FLA and enjoying the weather all the time; including the heat.
AND when you feel like it, you just do nothing for a day and not feel guilty.

Yes! We need to check the calendar or iPhone to know what day it is!

Freedom from place has been a biggie for us. It did not happen immediately because of parents, but that truly made us free. Being remote from family can be good because we schedule quality time to be around them. It helps to have a desirable destination for them to visit you.

 

[Kroeran]

For me personally, I enjoy the kids next door that slam a hockey puck into our garage door or climb the fountain and topple it and the twenty somethings that hop the fence at night and leave condoms by the community hot tub.

Lots of life.

Some are gravitating to 55 plus with a narrow range of housing to maximize the pool of potential friends and minimize class differences/stressors. 55 plus still creeps us out a bit, but that might change. My fav such community is Tidewater in Estero/Bonita.

In my hood we have people for whom $1m is a second home at the top and local restaurant worker roomies who rent condo apartments at the other end. The economic diversity has pros and cons.

 

[brett]

Freedom. No time constraints. We can do what we want when we want. Allows us to travel spontneously on on own schedule as we are doing right now in Mexico.

 

[scrabbler1]

Greetings,

I can’t emphasize how much I had come to hate my daily commute. I would wake up in the morning dreading what apple maps was going to show me. Then I would be miserable sitting in traffic regardless of which route I chose. The first thing I realized after retiring was how much I enjoyed my mornings. Hot cup of coffee and Baileys watching the sun rise with DW is priceless when stress and obligation free!

JQ

The commute is what did it for me. It wasn't in my car but on the trains, into and out of New York City (and, for some years, into Jersey City, New Jersey, just on the other side of the Hudson River).

After 16 years commuting on the Long Island Rail Road and New York City subways, my company relocated to Jersey City, New Jersey. It made an increasingly intolerable commute even worse. I was able to negotiate a mostly telecommuting part-time deal while going to the office one day a week.

But after 2 years of that pretty good deal, they ended the telecommuting part but allowed me to continue working part-time. I just had to fulfill my hours at the office. This returned the horrors of the trains 3 days a week. I knew than that this would be my ultimate undoing, as I began ramping up my ER plans.

After 3 1/2 years of the 3-days-a-week commute, I was able to get that reduced to 2 days a week with one less hour per day (20 hours worked down to 12). I had to forgo most of my remaining benefits including health insurance. I went on COBRA for 18 months but I knew I would probably be retiring by the end of those 18 months. The pieces of my ER puzzle were quickly falling into place. This was 2007-08.

When I did retire at the end of 2008, I had a lengthy exit interview with some HR flunkie. When he asked me why I was leaving, I gave him 3 reasons.

(1) The commute.
(2) The commute.
(3) The commute.

I explained to him that ending my telecommuting 5 years earlier (nearly to the DAY!) was the main reason. But I had also told him that I was so burnt out by the commute since that time that even if they offered me back my old one-trip-a-week deal I had before that I would still turn it down. That's how sick and tired I was of the trains and the commute.

 

[Floridatennisplayer]

Love this thread. Thanks Ed. I think along the same lines as you do. I have 5 months to go. However, heading to Florida on Halloween night for 3 weeks, then comes Thanksgiving. So really more like 4 months.

 

[Retch The Grate]

The commute is what did it for me. It wasn't in my car but on the trains, into and out of New York City (and, for some years, into Jersey City, New Jersey, just on the other side of the Hudson River).

When I lived in Jersey worked in Midtown, I was spending three hours a day on trains, the Path and hanging out in the train station. Even though I love reading and listening to music, having it be an enforced three hours a day royally sucked. I've set an upper limit of thirty minutes commute for any long term work ever since.

 

[brett]

I loved my career and my job. I worked for a great employer who provided me with challenge and the opportunity for personal growth. I sometimes worked long hours with a fair amount of travel. My earnings, stock options, bonuses, and DB allowed me to retire at 59.

When it was over, it was over. I walked away and never really looked back. We were thankful for what we had but equally thankful for the future. So far so good. DW thought that I would be looking in the rear view mirror or consulting after the first six months. Not so.

My advice...walk into your new lifestyle with a blank piece of paper. It is a big world out there. So much to see, do, and experience. The trick is, as we see it, is to do it while you have the good health to do it.

 

[Floridatennisplayer]

I loved my career and my job. I worked for a great employer who provided me with challenge and the opportunity for personal growth. I sometimes worked long hours with a fair amount of travel. My earnings, stock options, bonuses, and DB allowed me to retire at 59.

When it was over, it was over. I walked away and never really looked back. We were thankful for what we had but equally thankful for the future. So far so good. DW thought that I would be looking in the rear view mirror or consulting after the first six months. Not so.

My advice...walk into your new lifestyle with a blank piece of paper. It is a big world out there. So much to see, do, and experience. The trick is, as we see it, is to do it while you have the good health to do it.

This is awesome.

 

[ER Eddie]

I went ahead and told my boss and colleagues today that I'll be gone in 8 months. I didn't really plan to do it. I was thinking I'd probably wait a couple weeks to make sure I was really certain, but I knew it was the right thing to do, and there was no real point to waiting. My boss and colleagues have been good to me, so I didn't see any need to withhold the info from them.

I explained why I was leaving. My boss asked me to consider staying on as a consultant. He said I didn't have to answer now, and I didn't, because my instinct was to say No but I didn't want to be rude or to shut things down without knowing the details. But I doubt I'll say yes.

I'm feeling tired and a little sad. It was a long day, with lots of long and sometimes difficult conversations. I'm going to miss some of the people there. It feels a little bit like a breakup of a relationship, which may sound odd, but it is like that in some ways -- a lot of small and medium-sized relationships, all ending at once. They will be losing one person (me), but I'll be losing all of them. I've always been an introvert, and I never developed much of a social life outside of work, so I'm feeling a sort of anticipatory loneliness, if that makes sense. I remind myself that one of the reasons I want to retire is so I can develop more of a social life outside of work. It was hard for me to do that while I was working.

It was weird the way it came out. I hadn't planned on telling anyone, certainly not my boss, but then I found myself telling everyone, including my boss. I guess it just felt like the right thing to do.

 

[Al in Ohio]

For many people, having complete control of one's time is a curse rather than a blessing. Once the structure provided by w*rk is gone, one becomes responsible for a lot of things that were previously given by the j*b, and this can be an overwhelming responsibility.



In this forum, the above is the exception rather than the rule. But we're not "normal" in this regard.

That’s pathetic. Seriously. It’s form of incompetence.

 

[like2]

I appreciate this thread. My goal has always been to be able to choose one way or the other once I turned 55. I turned 55 last month and it looks great if I want to retire. Now that it is reality it not as easy as I thought it would be though. Im in the group of not hating my job but just kind of bored with it. I always figured that I would not get caught up in the OMY syndrome but right now my plan is to finish this year off and then decide in March as to stay or go.
The thought of doing what I want to do with my own time and every day being Saturday is extremely exhilarating to me!!

 

[GR111]

Less stress. More exercise and healthy living. Spending my time with DW.

 

[street]

I couldn't imagine commutes like some you have described. I just wouldn't have made a career with that being part of the job. No way! I lived and worked where I could ride horse to work each day if I wanted too. LOL

 

[Floridatennisplayer]

I couldn't imagine commutes like some you have described. I just wouldn't have made a career with that being part of the job. No way! I lived and worked where I could ride horse to work each day if I wanted too. LOL

I agree! Those commutes are a job in themselves!

 

[Scuba]

I think I crossed that line a couple days ago, actually. I was reflecting on this yesterday. Something has happened in the past few days. I feel very settled about it. I'm going to retire in 8 months. The decision has been made. At a gut level, it's very clear; there is no doubt. There's no more need for analysis -- no more weighing the pros and cons; no more intentional shifting of my focus from losses to gains; no more need to compile long lists of reasons.

I feel very at peace about it now. It's just ... settled.

Knowing me, I'll have some worries or doubts crop up as I get closer to the date. But for now at least, I'm enjoying the peace of mind. It's nice not to be questioning, recalculating, and constantly reconsidering my position. The decision has been made, and it feels completely right.

Thanks to everyone for their input. It definitely helped.

That’s great, Eddie! Peace inside is the best sign of the best direction for yourself. Congratulations![emoji324]

 

[Scuba]

I went ahead and told my boss and colleagues today that I'll be gone in 8 months. I didn't really plan to do it. I was thinking I'd probably wait a couple weeks to make sure I was really certain, but I knew it was the right thing to do, and there was no real point to waiting. My boss and colleagues have been good to me, so I didn't see any need to withhold the info from them.

I explained why I was leaving. My boss asked me to consider staying on as a consultant. He said I didn't have to answer now, and I didn't, because my instinct was to say No but I didn't want to be rude or to shut things down without knowing the details. But I doubt I'll say yes.

I'm feeling tired and a little sad. It was a long day, with lots of long and sometimes difficult conversations. I'm going to miss some of the people there. It feels a little bit like a breakup of a relationship, which may sound odd, but it is like that in some ways -- a lot of small and medium-sized relationships, all ending at once. They will be losing one person (me), but I'll be losing all of them. I've always been an introvert, and I never developed much of a social life outside of work, so I'm feeling a sort of anticipatory loneliness, if that makes sense. I remind myself that one of the reasons I want to retire is so I can develop more of a social life outside of work. It was hard for me to do that while I was working.

It was weird the way it came out. I hadn't planned on telling anyone, certainly not my boss, but then I found myself telling everyone, including my boss. I guess it just felt like the right thing to do.

Eddie, these feelings are very common. I think unless you really dislike your workplace and the people in it, most people feel some sense of loss for the reasons you’ve articulated. Clearly you are ready to retire since you told everyone.

Everyone makes the decisions that are right for them. In my case my boss asked me to stay on. I said no after thinking about it for a respectable time (or at least pretending to) because once I made my decision, I was really excited and ready to get on with my new phase of life. I felt consulting even if only part time would delay my transition to my desired new life. I did offer to take occasional phone calls or even come to the office if needed a couple of times for free, but was thankfully largely left to enjoy my retirement after I left.

 

[brucethebroker]

Top reasons given so far seem to be:

1. Master of my own time and/or no more alarm clock
2. No commute
3. No office politics or crappy bosses
4. Ability to take naps
5. Freedom to travel whenever without worrying about vacation time.

BINGO!

 

[ER Eddie]

Eddie, these feelings are very common. I think unless you really dislike your workplace and the people in it, most people feel some sense of loss for the reasons you’ve articulated. Clearly you are ready to retire since you told everyone.

Everyone makes the decisions that are right for them. In my case my boss asked me to stay on. I said no after thinking about it for a respectable time (or at least pretending to) because once I made my decision, I was really excited and ready to get on with my new phase of life. I felt consulting even if only part time would delay my transition to my desired new life. I did offer to take occasional phone calls or even come to the office if needed a couple of times for free, but was thankfully largely left to enjoy my retirement after I left.

Thanks, Scuba, I really appreciate the support. I don't want to mistake the sadness as a sign I'm doing the wrong thing. Although they are good people and I'll miss them, I really need to break away.

I feel the same about the consultancy offer. If I'm going to start a new chapter, I need to finish the old one. I may offer to take an occasional phone call for free, like you did.

I'm surprised at how quickly all this happened. I guess when the time is right, the dominoes fall pretty fast.

 

[Scuba]

Thanks, Scuba, I really appreciate the support. I don't want to mistake the sadness as a sign I'm doing the wrong thing. Although they are good people and I'll miss them, I really need to break away.



I feel the same about the consultancy offer. If I'm going to start a new chapter, I need to finish the old one. I may offer to take an occasional phone call for free, like you did.



I'm surprised at how quickly all this happened. I guess when the time is right, the dominoes fall pretty fast.

Yep. I’m so happy for you that you’ve resolved the questions and are at peace with your decision. Eight months is a long notice period but now that the word is out, you can start openly anticipating your ER. Congratulations![emoji324][emoji322]

 

[brett]

At some point, if the finances and the stars are properly alligned, you have to get off the dime, make a decision, and move forward with your life. Endless dithering over the decision cannot be good for your health.

 

[Al in Ohio]

It would save time to ask what’s not good! Much shorter list.

I would also reconsider the consultant offer. I have been doing it for 2 1/2 years now on my terms. It’s been a great gig for me and doesn’t even seem like work. I cherry pick the projects and work at home on mostly bad weather days. There’s no more client or coworker contact and my fees roll in direct deposit.