Why are some vices more acceptable?

[Scuba]

Yes, some women actually pay for their own clothes and don't need a man to pay for them, believe it or not.

[emoji23] How true!!!

 

[ls99]

Yes, and DW even buys me clothes, even when I don't need any more! (but they were ON SALE!)

Ditto in the past tense. I have over 35 polo shirts, in the neighborhood of 40 socks, etc.. I'm set for life, will never go clothes shopping.

 

[RobbieB]

Paddlefish caviar, $100 / 4 oz tin.

Worth every penny -

 

[Koolau]

Paddlefish caviar, $100 / 4 oz tin.

Worth every penny -

I recall as a child wondering if "rich folks" didn't come up with ridiculous exclusive things just so they could say "I can buy that and you can't." I have since modified my thinking quite a bit. It's not that I've come to enjoy, for instance, caviar (or Rolexes). I just think I've come to realize that people have a wide variety of tastes, desires and yes, "vices" that they may be able to afford to indulge. I also think folks should spend their money on what makes them happiest. I'm trying to be less judgmental in my old age - though I have a way to go. YMMV

 

[Amethyst]

Absolutely! Although Mr. A. can still fit in clothes from before our marriage, so I don't have to buy that much for him.

Yes DW buys her clothes and mine!

 

[Al in Ohio]

So last night I had dinner with 3 very good girlfriends that ended up in an argument with 2 of them.

Background: we are all extremely close, friends for 35+ years. been there through marriages, births, deaths of spouses, divorces etc etc. Pretty familiar with each others finances in a general way.

I'm the only semi retired friend. 1 lawyer, 1 accountant, 1 business owner



anyhoo my lawyer friend is getting divorced unfortunately for the 3rd time. we were in the King of prussia mall having dinner and looking for a condo for her.



She mentions that she wants to go to the Jimmy Choo store to look at shoes ( high end shoes, starting price ~800 bucks generally). Our accountant friend says " B, do you really think you should be spending 1000 bucks on a pair of pumps right now".



Lawyer: I have my budget for the condo and I'm good at work

accountant: Yeah but you don't know what will pop up with ex and it could get costly

Lawyer: Didn't you just spend 2500 on Hamilton tickets

Accountant: Yes but that's different, that's not stuff you dont need



lol, and we are off and running. eventually after 15 minutes of this silliness they ask me (I said I wouldn't have spent money on either one of those) and my other friend who was right. We kissed and made up, hey 35 years friendship, we're tight but it did get me wondering...



Why were the shoes a no-no but the theater tickets ok. I see that here a lot too, travel is ok to spend on but say a new camera is not?

Both expenses were clearly totally discretionary costs. They satisfy a fleeting temporary urge only.

 

[Danmar]

Both expenses were clearly totally discretionary costs. They satisfy a fleeting temporary urge only.

I guess in the overall scheme of things everything is fleeting and temporary?

 

[USGrant1962]

It would seem that the whole point of expensive shoes and watches would be to be distinctive enough to be spotted by other status seekers. A Rolex keeps worse time than a Timex, these days.

I have both and fixed your quote!

 

[pj.mask]

+1

This a one reason DW and I carved out individual slush funds in our budget for "stuff we want to buy that the other cannot complain about" . It is a sum of money for each of us that we can choose to spend (or not spend) however we want. There will always be goods and services one of us wants to spend on that the other would question, but each having their own personal slush fund takes care of that.

Same for family and friends. One of my brothers is into cars and I could never see spending on cars what he spends. But I spend on things that he doesn't understand why I spend. Both of us can afford it so it is all good.

I always find these type of comments interesting. In another post we talked about joint finances and I was the odd one out for not mixing everything. Yet here we are with separate accounts. It appears we're just opposites. We mix about 30% of our income for joint and keep the rest separate for spending or retirement needs.

 

[haha]

I always find these type of comments interesting. In another post we talked about joint finances and I was the odd one out for not mixing everything. Yet here we are with separate accounts. It appears we're just opposites. We mix about 30% of our income for joint and keep the rest separate for spending or retirement needs.

If you are married, or in many states cohabiting, try to enforce this if spouse suddenly is done with this pretend-time.

If your accounts go better, will you retire to Newport Beach while spouse gets an apartment in El Monte?

If you do, be sure to report back how this goes down!

Ha

 

[pj.mask]

If you are married, or in many states cohabiting, try to enforce this if spouse suddenly is done with this pretend-time.

If your accounts go better, will you retire to Newport Beach while spouse gets an apartment in El Monte?

If you do, be sure to report back how this goes down!

Ha

Not sure what you mean with this 'pretend time' - it has worked well for many years. I think the key is we both have high expectations and capabilities (for ourselves). I believe the difference when contributing to our joint lifestyle is my SO would prefer fancier things now but enjoys work and wouldn't mind doing so longer. I don't appreciate most luxuries and would rather wrap up work earlier.

 

[haha]

Not sure what you mean with this 'pretend time' - it has worked well for many years. I think the key is we both have high expectations and capabilities (for ourselves). I believe the difference when contributing to our joint lifestyle is my SO would prefer fancier things now but enjoys work and wouldn't mind doing so longer. I don't appreciate most luxuries and would rather wrap up work earlier.

Thanks for your question. What I meant was illustrated by my example. Marriage in America is a legal contract, interpreted and enforced by the courts.

If all goes well, then all goes well, just like in the many successful marriages that do not come to divorce. It is when unexpected issues arise that cause conflict and strong differences of opinion that things may veer toward a divorce proceeding. Once this happens, not much that the two parties have agreed to makes much difference. Only one partner needs to pull out to end the understanding, and then both parties find a new one imposed.

It seems that your solution is working, so congratulations. It very likely will continue.

Ha