Big Question - Kids and ER

[runchman]

going to restaurants is not much fun right now and won't be planning any air travel till she's over it though. her sister went on a plane around 18 months and her head was in my lap screaming - "i want to go outside"! ah, but then there's benedryl and the boob..

I had a co-worker that flew from Chicago to hawaii when his twin girls were 2.5 years old.

I'm still vicariously traumatized just thinking about such an experience.

I remember restaurants when mine were about that age - it was like a navy seal attack mission - get in, eat, get the hell out as quickly as possible before all hell breaks loose. Ok maybe a *slight* exaggeration, but that's how it felt...

- John

 

[cute fuzzy bunny]

I remember restaurants when mine were about that age - it was like a navy seal attack mission - get in, eat, get the hell out as quickly as possible before all hell breaks loose. Ok maybe a *slight* exaggeration, but that's how it felt...

Sounds familiar. We just went out to eat lunch yesterday for the first time in a while. It seemed more like world wrestling federation stuff to me. Lots of climbing to the upper rope, jumping, kicking, couple of light body slams. A little eating.

Somehow my wife has signed us up to go to a wedding next month...a four hour drive away. When she told me I actually said "No...really...we're not going to that, you're just kidding right?". Twice. Eight hours in the car and several hours at a wedding?

This is with the kid that has a max current range of about 3 hours in the car before he goes ballistic.

 

[Khan]

Are You Ready To Have Kids?, Humor about Kids

 

[bright eyed]

Somehow my wife has signed us up to go to a wedding next month...a four hour drive away. When she told me I actually said "No...really...we're not going to that, you're just kidding right?". Twice. Eight hours in the car and several hours at a wedding?

This is with the kid that has a max current range of about 3 hours in the car before he goes ballistic.

Try to drive at nite if you can, we just hauled 5+ hours in the middle of the nite to make sure the sleeping angels (and their blessed mommy) would not suffer too much...from LA to Oakland, 4 hours is doable -

if you go during the day, you'll add a few hours to the trip - we did it once (never again!) but again, i think the toddler was a babe and we stopped about every hour - gabe should be able to hang in better than that also map out all the mcd's playlands - then he can get out, run, jump and play, that helps a lot too!

good luck

 

[Sandy]

Somehow my wife has signed us up to go to a wedding next month...a four hour drive away. When she told me I actually said "No...really...we're not going to that, you're just kidding right?". Twice. Eight hours in the car and several hours at a wedding?

This is with the kid that has a max current range of about 3 hours in the car before he goes ballistic.

Plan for stops. Get Gabe out of the car and exercise! Jumping jacks, run back and forth between two poles as fast as he can, etc. Kids think this is silly to do in a gas station or drive thru parking lot. They laugh but do it (do it with him, make a competition and it is more fun). It gets the wiggles out and he can get back in the car and continue on.

Before you go, visit the dollar store - get a bag of cheap goodies to hand out every hour or every X miles. Gives them something new to play with and something to look forward to and something you can bribe him with (sit quietly for the next x minutes and you will get a new item from "The Bag"). Don't tell him there is a bag until you are at the first dispensing spot! Do not buy projectiles (duh)- stick with stuffed animals, cars, funny glasses, white boards, etc.

 

[sailor]

Why can't you do these with kids?

Cons:
- We can't be living like beach bums or live in an RV (my long-term dream), at least until children go to college
- We can't travel around the world and just do odd jobs to barely sustain a living, at least until children go to college (by then I'll be too old to want to do that)

Why can't you RV with kids?
Or travel around the world?

Why not for example RV when they are small (diaper stage) and travel around the world when they are older?

We do both RV & travel around the world (granted, not full time yet) with our 3yr old Little Sailor and 7 months old Tiny Sailing Wench.
Long flights (like US to Greece or Ireland or UK) are taxing for us (although we still do it)- this is why I suggest RV first - you can drive mostly at night when young kids are asleep and they can sleep in their own bed every night.

Also - since you are contemplating RVs and travel - Have you considered living on a sailboat? It's would be a combination of these two and this is what we are planning to do in the future.

sailor

 

[Khan]

Another classic:

Jerry's Haven N Tell 34 Things I Learned From My Children

 

[cute fuzzy bunny]

Are You Ready To Have Kids?, Humor about Kids

Tears. Running. Down. My. Face.

Hardest I've laughed in years.

 

[HFWR]

Much funnier now that my "toddler" is 26...

 

[Nords]

Why can't you RV with kids?
Or travel around the world?
Why not for example RV when they are small (diaper stage) and travel around the world when they are older?

You can when you have kids with the right kind of temperament.

Friends of ours backpacked two in diapers all over the Alps (they were stationed in Italy at the time). These kids were always smiling and could hardly be heard when they were fussing.

We worked incredibly hard (and felt incredibly lucky) just to get our non-sleeping fussy baby from home to a Waikiki hotel, a [-]death march[/-] distance of less than 20 miles. There were childcare days when my main accomplishment (by 2 PM) was getting dressed and brushing MY teeth, let alone our kid's. There were many nights when the only way to get her to sleep was to put her in the car and drive 20 miles (whichever came first). When I got back in the garage it didn't seem worth the risk to take her out of her car seat so I'd just recline my seat and sleep behind the wheel. I can't remember the number of restaurants & stores we retreated from in total disarray. When our baby was unhappy she wasn't just loud, she'd remove paint and earwax. It was nearly 10 years before we could resume eating at a food business without a PlayPlace.

Yeah, she's a good kid with a very busy brain. But there were many times when her survival was in jeopardy, and not a judge in the land would've convicted either of us!

 

[jnojr]

Oh, I remember those days. Imagine being married a few years, your wife hits 35 and says "I've changed my mind; we need to have a kid now. Right now!"

Not something I need to worry about... she's 45!

 

[runchman]

But there were many times when her survival was in jeopardy, and not a judge in the land would've convicted either of us!

This reminded me of a favorite Q&A from 'what to expect the first year' or 'what to expect when you're expecting', I forget which:

Q. "Sometimes I have the irrational urge to chuck my baby out the window. I know I never would, but it bothers me that I have the thought. Is this normal?"

A: "Yes it is perfectly normal to have these thoughts"

I've paraphrased but that was the gist of the question. Cracked me up and of course I would eventually relate to it!

 

[cute fuzzy bunny]

Not something I need to worry about... she's 45!

Give it time. She'll be 35 again in a year or two.

 

[eridanus]

But I don't know anyone who chose to have children who came to regret that choice. I'm sure they exist, but I've never run into one.
Coach

I have, and their child was pretty messed up for a long time.

 

[TargaDave]

Two girls, 9 and 16. They are awesome. For some strange reason that applies even when they are being a royal pain in the butt. Kinda like that magic ability to happily deal with your own kids diaper poop. I have to no desire to "sell" the idea (or marriage, or ER, or satisfying work, or some religous-political view) to anyone. It's all part of the melting pot.

 

[Calgary_Girl]

Our daughter is almost 16 months old and when she wakes up in the morning and gives me the biggest smile I've ever seen, I think "this is what unconditional love feels like".

Not once did we question whether or not to have kids because it would delay our plans for ER. We just knew we wanted to have kids, period.

 

[MikeD]

Contrarian View

Here's a review of a childfree book making the rounds in France:
Bloomberg.com: France

Remember, if your parents didn't have children then you probably won't either.

Mike D.

 

[GoodSense]

Remember, if your parents didn't have children then you probably won't either.

Mike D.

Thanks for the link. I'll definitely check it out. Thank you everyone for your wonderful input!

 

[ylm23]

coach - nobody with half a brain is going to admit they regret having kids outright, but if you may attention to what they say about their kids, how they say it, and how they treat their kids it can be pretty obvious.

we're about to have our first so I can't say how it will affect our ability to retire early, but assuming DH stays with his job he'll have a fed gov't pension at 50, we'll have a 529 funded as much as we plan to fund it, and the kid should be in college and soon on her own.