I carried the viewpoint that men and women have innate pre-dispositions toward children. I certainly have heard about "stay at home" dads - but I thought that was a more a victim of circumstances, not by active choice. Apparently I was wrong and stand corrected.
I am not sure you are wrong when considering 80% of the cases. This is only today's party line. When you look at the physical dimorphism of humans it is absurd to imagine that there is not a fairly strong hormonally or neuronally supported behavioral duality also.
I also believe that we are wrong to look at post war American suburban life and from that conclude that roles allocated by gender are always wrong. Sometimes wrong sure. But even the most rabid nuture over nature supporter is much more likely to choose a female nanny or baby sitter. On average, it would be crazy not to do so. What people say about gender is notoriously unreliable, similar to what they say about other controversial topics. To get at what people deeper attitudes are, you have to contrive to somehow study hidden or unconscious motivations.
Postwar US suburban social style was essentially a toxic system, more toxic for women than for men. It was easy for them to become isolated, it was hard for them to work at part time or other jobs that dovetailed well with being the main caregiver, it was hard for dad to take let a school age child come over to his shop or store after school, grandparents lived elsewhere, often still in the city, etc, etc. add to this the breakdown of divorce taboos, no-fault, etc- and women were faced with a real economic dilemma. Curtail my career for family and children, and risk post divorce poverty, or pedal to the metal career focus. And in many circles social evaluations of what was proper or stylish changed-"Oh, you are only a mother?"
I believe it is at least as likely that more women than would really like it are being pressed into heavy duty breadwinner roles by today's economy. When manufacturing collapses, a lot of male jobs disappear.
If I were young today, I would go elsewhere to have my family if I could afford it, then perhaps return, perhaps not. It is also possible that I would just pass on fatherhood, though it was actually the best time of my life, and a great joy to me even today. I didn't realize how much fun kids would be, until I had mine. I was pressed into service to watch my two much younger sibs when I was a young teenager, but mostly I allowed neighborhood girls to come over and help, and they liked this a lot.
One thing I have noticed- when I show friends and aquaintances pictures of my grand-daughter, the women are almost all interested and often delighted. Most of the men, if they look at all, say stuff like "how did she get so cute when you are so ugly?" This is perhaps slightly less true with younger men and women.
Ha
.
