I live 35 miles from work. This equates to ~1 hr drive (45 min on weekend) in normal traffic and 1.5 hr+ in rain/bad traffic. So I chose to do the 1 hr 40 min (each way) commute. This involves 6.5 mile drive (give myself 15 min for lights and walking across parking lot); 1 hr on commuter rail (nap most mornings; pod casts/tv shows in afternoons); and 1.25 mile walking (~25 min). Occassionally I do drive, but just as far as metro, but 17 miles can take 1 hr on bad day.
My rationale is that I cannot abide more than 30 min driving. Too many tail gators and even then we all get distracted. I make great use of time (listen to some pod casts at up to 3x speed (Pocket Cast app), very little stress, but it is a long day. Plus I get 2.5 miles walking every day, which if I don't get a gym workout in, is better than nothing. Weather can complicate the walk, but there are ways to minimize this hassle (metro).
Plus, this has been only 1 year so far, and since we're renting, I'm hoping to move closer to work (and even closer to potential post-military-retirement jobs) in the next year.
Previous commutes were 30 mins/16 miles driving; 10 min/3 miles driving (walkable in summer, -40F in winter); 35 min / 22 mile drive (car pooled); 15 min/4 mile (drove/road bike).
As someone else said, if you're not making good use of your commute time, then it's unpaid overtime. Try public transport or car/van pool if that is an option. If it's NOT stop/go traffic, then it can be palatable, but if there is traffic, I'd consider getting closer, or looking at telework/alternate schedule to cut down on days or avoiding traffic.
That, or I'm buying a Tesla with their radar and their supposed 90% self-driving capabilities.
