This forum may have ruined my life

[Maenad]

IMO the trick is to critically examine each expense category and cut back everywhere you can, but maybe not everywhere. Some expenses you'll be able to cut altogether, some you can spend less or reduce frequency...

I was a little surprised to read that your BMW is only 2 years older than my Prius, but is starting to need significant work. DH pointed out that maybe you drive a lot of miles, which of course wears down cars faster. I've always had short commutes with this car.

So, as an example of what Midpack says, you could keep driving a Beemer, but move closer to work, so that you don't rack up the mileage as fast. Then you can buy a new car every 15 years instead of every 7.

Or am I being condescending and telling you things you already know?

 

[HFWR]

I could give up the house easier than the car I think. If there ever was a natural-born BMW customer it's me. I've been irrevocably spoiled by the sport-oriented features, driving dynamics, and general excellent engineering of my current car.

 

[Willers]

Yikes, where was this photo taken? OK, I love my BMW, but I'd sell it in a second if I lived wherever this is. I am spoiled with abundant deserted twisty roads and a general lack of traffic where I live.

 

[Sarah in SC]

I think for all of us there are those things we won't give up, no matter what else we will nickel and dime down to nothing. Mine is costly adventures, which undeniably delay my retirement goals, but are absolutely non-negotiable. (I understand this is a sign of mental illness, lol). So if the BMW is "it" for you, then by all means, keep it.

But the house, seems less so. If you can sock away serious cash by ditching it, then I'd do that in a minute, especially since you've got the other house standing by. And as for community, you just need to have good friends to make that. We aren't close to our neighbors, but we have TONS of good friends.

 

[Mulligan]

Some great advise above...remember though know matter what you do, you are presently still years away from your goal. And there is no absolute certainty you will be alive then anyways. Work on your financial goals, and reward yourself when benchmarks are achieved. It will give you something to look forward to and still allow you to live life in the present as that is all we are guaranteed anyways.

 

[daylatedollarshort]

You might want to check into some retirement planners and see when you could retire with your current house and car, with a less expensive house, with a different car or an older beamer and think about your priorities. Maybe the big house and nice car will end up being worth the money for you.

If you want to ER with a 50 year retirement or semi-retirement horizon, just saving $10 a month means needing $6k less in savings. With a big house it isn't just the cost of the house you can save, but the repairs, taxes, upkeep, heating, cooling, insurance, furnishing and the keeping up with the Joneses factor. If you can save $1K off housing related costs a month, over 50 years there is $600K less you might need in your retirement nest egg.

Plus big houses often need more cleaning and yard work. If you hire that out it costs money, and if you do the work yourself it costs your time.

 

[citrine]

I say keep the BMW and ditch the house! Also, look into starting a side business that can eventually become your daily work and then you can ditch the mega corp job. I had my epiphany at 34 and changed my entire life...it is doable and on a lot less money than you think.

 

[Elbata]

Yeah, though retired, we have the big house. We get to drive farther to get somewhere, get to pay the extra thousands in RE taxes, association dues and of course, gotta have a housekeeper.

Then I lose jobs because I don't feel like driving so far.

Wish this was tongue in cheek, but wifey wants to keep up appearances.

 

[Chuckanut]

Nothing wrong with a 2005 BMW. What hurts most people is when they trade it in for a 2007 BMW, then another trade in for the 2009 BMW, then another trade in for the 2012 BMW and so on. You get the picture.

 

[bo_knows]

To the OP: This forum (among a few others) and the entire concept of Early Retirement has really "ruined my life" as well. My Father-in-law retired at 51, and it really got me interested in the idea of early retirement. Both of my parents are financial train-wrecks, so I never even thought of the idea.

After seeing forums like this, MMM, and bogleheads, and reading of all the stories, and doing all the calculations with fabulous tools, I find myself thinking about ER all the time. I suppose it's not terrible... but it's at least a decade in the future for me. It's hard to think so far ahead.

 

[imoldernu]

You're at a good age to start thinking about retirement. I'm an old man nearing 80 who was lucky enough to retire fairly early @ age 53, and what we did is not going to be applicable to you for the most part, but there may be a few bits and pieces here, that have some small application to your dreams. It involves downsizing, homes, travel, entertainment, and in general, some shortcuts to fun and a good life without big expenses... The keyword is "frugal"...
For any worth it may have, you might wanna skim this, for anything that might help.

http://www.early-retirement.org/forums/f27/sharing-23-years-of-frugal-retirement-62251.html
I wish you well, and good fortune. Early retirement is a dream that can come true... often for less than might be expected, but usually, not by accident.

 

[Sea Kayaker]

This forum, along with a few Canadian facsimiles, created an epiphany in my life. I was in my early thirties when a casual Google search brought me here - ER as a concept had never really occured to me - I pretty much became instantly obsessed with it. For the last ten years, with the help of this site and a few others, I have been living my life in such a way (LBYM and all that good stuff) that I will ER in 2014 at 42 years old.

I mostly lurk here and have spent countless hours reading posts that go back YEARS - this place has been a BLESSING in my life.

 

[Texas Proud]

One of the things I do not get is that there are many cars that are 'equal' (or close enough) to the handling of a BMW that are cheaper...


You are probably not even coming close to the limits of that BMW... so say you are in the 80% range... another car might be in the 85% range for the same turn.... both will do it at the same speed... so you are paying up for that BMW.... for the status symbol....


I once did a test drive on a Hyundai Genesis (the old style)... they had other cars for people to drive including a BMW... when a good amateur drove the BMW and a pro drove the Genesis... the Genesis blew away the BMW... sure, if the pro drove the BMW, he went faster, but not THAT much faster.... I am sure there are other cars that fit this bill...

 

[timo2]

One of the things I do not get is that there are many cars that are 'equal' (or close enough) to the handling of a BMW that are cheaper...


You are probably not even coming close to the limits of that BMW... so say you are in the 80% range... another car might be in the 85% range for the same turn.... both will do it at the same speed... so you are paying up for that BMW.... for the status symbol....


I once did a test drive on a Hyundai Genesis (the old style)... they had other cars for people to drive including a BMW... when a good amateur drove the BMW and a pro drove the Genesis... the Genesis blew away the BMW... sure, if the pro drove the BMW, he went faster, but not THAT much faster.... I am sure there are other cars that fit this bill...

So why do drivers of those 'other cars' not have the negative reputation that BMW drivers have? Maybe some college kid can do a masters thesis on this ;-)

 

[gozer]

One of the things I do not get is that there are many cars that are 'equal' (or close enough) to the handling of a BMW that are cheaper...


You are probably not even coming close to the limits of that BMW... so say you are in the 80% range... another car might be in the 85% range for the same turn.... both will do it at the same speed... so you are paying up for that BMW.... for the status symbol....


I once did a test drive on a Hyundai Genesis (the old style)... they had other cars for people to drive including a BMW... when a good amateur drove the BMW and a pro drove the Genesis... the Genesis blew away the BMW... sure, if the pro drove the BMW, he went faster, but not THAT much faster.... I am sure there are other cars that fit this bill...

I do think part of it is status. And most of us like to think we are better drivers than we really are, so of course we need a real car.

I'm actually part of the Honda driving crowd. I got to drive a new 7 series BMW once back in 2000. If I had actually been looking for a full size car I would have been willing to pay 35K for it. Back then it was a 75K car. Nice, but not even remotely that nice. The guy that I worked with felt differently. He decided the car was more important than anything. Including his wife.

 

[Mulligan]

I do think part of it is status. And most of us like to think we are better drivers than we really are, so of course we need a real car.

I'm actually part of the Honda driving crowd. I got to drive a new 7 series BMW once back in 2000. If I had actually been looking for a full size car I would have been willing to pay 35K for it. Back then it was a 75K car. Nice, but not even remotely that nice. The guy that I worked with felt differently. He decided the car was more important than anything. Including his wife.

My vehicle is fast becoming a "status" car. As in a status that people with nice vehicles would be very afraid to park next to as he obviously looks like the type that could care less if he bangs a car or gets banged either way. A very liberating feeling. First time I have ever done this. The money I have been saving has been phenomenal as it just refuses to breakdown no matter where I drive to.

 

[samclem]

My vehicle is fast becoming a "status" car. As in a status that people with nice vehicles would be very afraid to park next to as he obviously looks like the type that could care less if he bangs a car or gets banged either way.

'Liberating" is exactly the right word. I park where I want and if a shopping cart is against my car when I return it's no big deal.
I can't think of anyone I'd want to impress with a car. It's just a very handy appliance. Driving a reliable but older car is a tremendous money saver.

 

[Birdie Num Nums]

Driving a reliable but older car is a tremendous money saver.

Pravda, pravda, that is true.

 

[Birdie Num Nums]

Every $1000 a year you can cut from spending reduces the amount you need in your retirement account by $30,000.

Really puts things in perspective. Going from a 4000 sqft house with $12,000/yr real estate taxes, $5,000 a year maintenance costs, and $3,000 a year utilities down to a 900 sqft apartment with no tax, maintenance and only $1200 a year in utilities reduces your retirement account needs by over $500,000.

Yeah, but then you're not able to spend long evenings toasting your hefty mortgage, hardwood floor finishes and crown moldings, and discussing your all-important soaring equity.

 

[Amethyst]

Instead, you can spend your evenings listening to your neighbors fight (or other activities) and gazing out at the parking lot. That is, unless you spend all those $$ you are saving by not having a house, in order to constantly go out, so you don't have to be in the apartment. At least, that was my impression of apartment living, having endured 7 years of it in my youth. Like Scarlett O'Hara, I vowed, "Never again!"

Amethyst

Yeah, but then you're not able to spend long evenings toasting your hefty mortgage, hardwood floor finishes and crown moldings, and discussing your all-important soaring equity.

 

[HFWR]

Instead, you can spend your evenings listening to your neighbors fight (or other activities) and gazing out at the parking lot. That is, unless you spend all those $$ you are saving by not having a house, in order to constantly go out, so you don't have to be in the apartment. At least, that was my impression of apartment living, having endured 7 years of it in my youth. Like Scarlett O'Hara, I vowed, "Never again!"

Amethyst

There is a middle ground of sorts. Bought my 1650sf 3/2/2 "ranch" in a decent neighborhood for $113k in 2000. Have spent on upgrades, upkeep, etc., and refied three times, but my PITI is now $680, which wouldn't get you much of an apartment, unless the odor of meth cooking is your thing...

 

[Mulligan]

There is a middle ground of sorts. Bought my 1650sf 3/2/2 "ranch" in a decent neighborhood for $113k in 2000. Have spent on upgrades, upkeep, etc., and refied three times, but my PITI is now $680, which wouldn't get you much of an apartment, unless the odor of meth cooking is your thing...

You could be describing me, HF. I live a small town that I enjoy and have a very nice neighborhood with semi privacy due to a small undeveloped treed property behind me. But the town lacks sophistication in the rental apartment properties. No way would I risk living in those conditions and risking a bad, or noisy neighbor.

 

[daylatedollarshort]

Instead, you can spend your evenings listening to your neighbors fight (or other activities) and gazing out at the parking lot. That is, unless you spend all those $$ you are saving by not having a house, in order to constantly go out, so you don't have to be in the apartment. At least, that was my impression of apartment living, having endured 7 years of it in my youth. Like Scarlett O'Hara, I vowed, "Never again!"

Amethyst

The OP said in another post he lived in a $660K house that was "way, way more than I need. More than anyone needs really."

He doesn't have to rent an apartment to save more money for retirement. He could just cut down on the house size.

Owning a SFH can be more frugal than renting an apartment, but at some point house size or neighborhood choice may provide diminishing returns and become an impediment to retirement savings instead of a good investment.

 

[Bert Cooper]

Yeah, but then you're not able to spend long evenings toasting your hefty mortgage, hardwood floor finishes and crown moldings, and discussing your all-important soaring equity.

Haha, that is awesome.

 

[Bert Cooper]

I do think part of it is status. And most of us like to think we are better drivers than we really are, so of course we need a real car.

I'm actually part of the Honda driving crowd. I got to drive a new 7 series BMW once back in 2000. If I had actually been looking for a full size car I would have been willing to pay 35K for it. Back then it was a 75K car. Nice, but not even remotely that nice. The guy that I worked with felt differently. He decided the car was more important than anything. Including his wife.

One of the things I do not get is that there are many cars that are 'equal' (or close enough) to the handling of a BMW that are cheaper...

You are probably not even coming close to the limits of that BMW... so say you are in the 80% range... another car might be in the 85% range for the same turn.... both will do it at the same speed... so you are paying up for that BMW.... for the status symbol....

I once did a test drive on a Hyundai Genesis (the old style)... they had other cars for people to drive including a BMW... when a good amateur drove the BMW and a pro drove the Genesis... the Genesis blew away the BMW... sure, if the pro drove the BMW, he went faster, but not THAT much faster.... I am sure there are other cars that fit this bill...

I'm sure there are those that get something from BMW being some sort of status symbol, but I don't think I'm one of them. What I really care about the performance and the driving experience. I've been test driving a lot of stuff lately trying to get my around this subject, everything from Fords to Toyotas to Benzs, and very, very few cars can deliver the feel and handling of a (properly equipped) BMW. I just drove 3 more last night. I realize I'm some sort of enthusiast nut (although I'm pretty tame compared to a lot of people on the BMW forums)--I don't even get the satisfaction I'm talking about from BMWs that don't have certain sport-oriented equipment on them. It's not about just going fast, plenty of cars can be had for cheaper that would smoke mine off the line, but there is a certain something that the right BMW adds to everyday spirited driving, even on my rather mundane daily commute. And whatever it is, I'm sensitive to it, and am spoiled having gotten used to it.

Honestly, I don't know how much supposed status I've ever gotten from the car anyway. After living with it for 8 years, most people just see a "bmw". Even my own girlfriend, who gets to endure me rattling on about the ins and outs of various models and engines and features and model year differences, still can't easily spot the difference between my car an average 3 series out on the street, even though my car is very different in price and performance. Many of more commonly seen BMWs, at least in my area, aren't much more expensive than a Tahoe or a Ford F150.