"You weren't harmed" instead of "I'm sorry"

[badatmath]

Would you change dentists over this?

I made an appointment as per the endo for a crown on a particular tooth. When I got there they insisted I was wrong that it was a different tooth and took the impression. I told them they would need to verify the records from the endo before anything else was done and *shock* I was right.

But instead of saying "we are so sorry for the misunderstanding" they said "you weren't harmed". I am letting them finish this tooth but the more I think of it the more annoyed I am they could not just say "sorry".

Am I just being an old grouch? (I have not much history with this office so IDK if it is as much of a red flag as I am feeling or if I am just worn out today).

 

[youbet]

Am I just being an old grouch?

Yeah, you are. But, WTF, being a curmudgeon is just part of FIRE and life in general. So do whatever makes you feel good and try to spend minimal time festering over it.

The fact that you would change dentists mid-stream over this as opposed to overall performance by the dental practice is worrisome.

 

[NW-Bound]

Sometimes I wonder if people are trained not to admit fault, for fear that you would use it against them.

 

[Irishgirlyc58]

Did the dentist say that or the staff?
It was incredibly dismissive. I would not like that response at all.

 

[skyking1]

We've fired a few dentists for that kind of service.
Some of it is that admit fault issue as @NW-Bound stated.
On my last rotator cuff surgery, I took the bandages off to find one of the incisions was not sutured!
The doctor's PA took a look the next Monday. She absolutely did not admit fault and said that sometimes they will come out and maybe it was in the bandage, but hey, those little holes were missing. She just flat out forgot.
The PA most likely did the closing too. I was incensed, because infection is one of the big complications with joint repairs and surgery in general.

 

[Car-Guy]

Would you change dentists over this?

Yes

 

[badatmath]

Yeah, you are. But, WTF, being a curmudgeon is just part of FIRE and life in general. So do whatever makes you feel good and try to spend minimal time festering over it.

The fact that you would change dentists mid-stream over this as opposed to overall performance by the dental practice is worrisome.

This is actually a big part of "overall" performance as I have not had the dentist long and this is the first "major" thing they have done. I am finishing this tooth here. Just going forward I thought maybe to try another but it is annoying because you have to start over with new xrays and things insurance will not cover because you just had some. And remember, we are the ones who stalk tax software deals here so yeah I don't like to waste money.

Sometimes I wonder if people are trained not to admit fault, for fear that you would use it against them.

I felt like that too but all I said was I need you to look at the records from Dr. X that show the problem.

Did the dentist say that or the staff?
It was incredibly dismissive. I would not like that response at all.

Dentist. The staff said "it wasn't my fault someone put the wrong thing in the computer".

I thought it odd the dentist did not fit the temporary either. The staff did that. Is that the new normal?

I think they were actually angry I wanted it sent to the lab to be made (even though I stated this when I made the appointment so enough time would be allotted).

 

[COcheesehead]

The fact that some on this thread will dismiss medical malpractice is as alarming as the original act.

 

[friar1610]

You’d think the dentist could have at least been as responsible as our Congresspersons and said, “mistakes were made.”

 

[Irishgirlyc58]

This is actually a big part of "overall" performance as I have not had the dentist long and this is the first "major" thing they have done. I am finishing this tooth here. Just going forward I thought maybe to try another but it is annoying because you have to start over with new xrays and things insurance will not cover because you just had some.



I felt like that too but all I said was I need you to look at the records from Dr. X that show the problem.



Dentist. The staff said "it wasn't may fault someone put the wrong thing in the computer".

I thought it odd the dentist did not fit the temporary either. The staff did that. Is that the new normal?

I think they were actually angry I wanted it sent to the lab to be made (even though I stated this when I made the appointment so enough time would be allotted).

Yeah- I would get a new dentist once the problem tooth was taken care of.

 

[badatmath]

I don't really love this new normal of never seeing the same hygienist twice. For one it makes me wonder if the dentist is a jerk of a boss. . .

As it happens I found my old thread - started seeing this dentist Feb 2022.

 

[Sunset]

Good this this wasn't a kidney removal , or just a tooth removal.

Had OP not brought it up, they would have carried on and fixed the wrong tooth

 

[NW-Bound]

Good this this wasn't a kidney removal , or just a tooth removal.

Had OP not brought it up, they would have carried on and fixed the wrong tooth

They would then say "But we improved that tooth. Now we will fix the original one, and you get a freebie".

 

[Telly]

Yeah- I would get a new dentist once the problem tooth was taken care of.

YES!

Starting over with a different dentist and another set of X-rays is just an investment in one's health, and saying "NO!" to a Dr and staff that do not seem to have much empathy, much less care, for their patient.
And besides, X-Rays are quick and don't hurt.

 

[RobbieB]

They were going to crown the wrong tooth?

Yeah, I'd get a new dentist for sure. That one is incompetent.

 

[HawkOwl]

I am a dentist myself, and I would get a new dentist. Inattention to detail, failure to confirm the correct tooth, and being dismissive/defensive when he/she was clearly wrong isn’t the type of practice I want to be a part of.

 

[Midpack]

Would you change dentists over this?

Yes

+1

Dentist. The staff said "it wasn't my fault someone put the wrong thing in the computer".

I think they were actually angry I wanted it sent to the lab to be made (even though I stated this when I made the appointment so enough time would be allotted).

And that would seal the deal for me. The error may have been made elsewhere but how hard is it to say sorry when a mistake has been identified - instead of being unflinchingly defensive? Sorry should be the first words, followed by here’s what happened…

 

[FLSUnFIRE]

I would want a sincere apology, as in they were embarrassed and learned from this. Mistakes happen but cavalier attitudes to a customer, much less to my health (that I trusted in your care) is completely unacceptable! If not in pain, I'd try a new dentist for the restoration before the endo does their work. An apology/acknowledgement of the mistake ideally with an explanation (tooth number was transposed, etc) would likely satisfy me since no "harm was done."



Fortunately, it was just an impression but if they had drilled into a good natural tooth (or even a healthy restored tooth). I would seek damages... it would definitely cause me mental anguish and any restoration is inferior to a healthy tooth and I'd want funds to set aside for future work that may be required.



*Perhaps they've had many malpractice suits and their lawyer has trained them to never say "sorry" in case they are sued!

 

[DrRoy]

Yes

+1.

 

[marko]

Sadly, sadly, sadly, we live in a world where any admission can land you in court.

I'd switch dentists but because of incompetence, not for lack of apologies.

 

[frayne]

Unprofessional at minimum and possibly incompetent as well. Yes, I'd change dentists.

 

[Vincenzo Corleone]

Would you change dentists over this?

Yes.

 

[Aerides]

Did your dentist have the xrays or medical records as given from the endo? I don't think I'd have even let them take the impression if I knew it was wrong as that's a waste of my time.

I would have handled this by being a bit more firm to begin with. "Nope, I'm sorry, before we do anything, let's double check.."

The whole exchange as written suggests a lot of miscommunication. But if I complained at a mistake to any business, which cost at least my time and aggravation, and their response was "you weren't harmed" I think I would have to show them my back.

As with all things medical, I'm a customer before I'm a patient, and I vote with my dollars.

 

[Teacher Terry]

That dentist is incompetent and I would definitely find a new one.

 

[MarieIG]

After you finish with this dentist - take your X-rays, they belong to you. Tell the next dentist to work with these until you get coverage for your next set.