I've decided to give my notice next week.

[robcanuck]

Hi all:

I've been a "lurker" on these forums for the past year or so. The discussions have certainly helped me with planning for retirement. I'm going to walk out the door "a free man" at the end of June.

A bit about myself:

57 years old. Lawyer with the federal government. Married 4 years but we've been together for 30 (Canada didn't recognize same-sex relationships until recently). No kids but 4 dogs and a cat.

Financially, we'll be OK - defined benefit pension with COLA; good medical and dental plans; adequate savings; no mortgage.

My partner, (he's 53), is self-employed and plans to keep working full time for a few more years and then gradually scale back. His work involves a great deal of international travel. I plan to be the accompanying spouse.


As far as the job goes, it has been great. A great group of colleagues, interesting work although the stress level can get to you at times. But the time has come. I just know that it's time for me to retire.

I think I've got the "what will I do with my time" piece figured out. Firstly, I have begun to exercise regularly again to lose that extra 15 lbs. I've been carrying for the last few years. I don't plan to carry on an active private practice but will maintain my practicing certificate because I want to do some pro bono work with our local immigration and refugee center. I'm a pretty good pianist and accompany two local choirs which involves 2 weekly rehearsals and several performances during the year.

Despite the calculations and plans we've made over the last couple of years, this decision still has me "unnerved". It feels like I'm standing on the edge of a cliff and about to step off.

Any advice, thoughts from those of you have taken the plunge??

Thanks

Rob

 

[Moemg]

Welcome ,
Since I always knew I could return to work at any time (RN ) I did not have that cliff feeling . I felt like school was being let out for a permanent summer vacation . Congratulations on a new stage of your life .

 

[FinallyRetired]

Rob
You really seem to have it all together -- much more so than I had just before I gave my notice. I don't know if everyone has the "unnerving" feeling you describe, but I sure did. And it stayed with me for a month or two afterwards, the feeling that I was on a tightrope with no net. But it's a great feeling after you've been out there a while and realize that, gee, all of that planning really is working out.
Good luck, I don't think you'll have any problems, especially with the volunteer activities you described to keep you going.

 

[bbbamI]

Despite the calculations and plans we've made over the last couple of years, this decision still has me "unnerved". It feels like I'm standing on the edge of a cliff and about to step off.Rob

Try to think of it as a new adventure. A joyous one which will bring you pleasure and new opportunities.

Welcome to the forum Rob.

 

[robcanuck]

Thanks everyone for the welcome and encouragement.

Deep down I know that while this is the end of one part of my life, it is also the beginning of something new. I guess it's the cautious lawyer (think belt and suspenders) getting the upperhand just now.

 

[CuppaJoe]

Welcome, Robcanuck.

For some reason your post reminded me of the great joy I take in paying myself from my PF; maybe because Monday is payday. I've only done it seven times so far but it's more fun to go online myself and initiate the transfer than waiting for my employer (now former) to write it.

It sounds like you will fill up enough of your time with the piano playing and volunteer work. Years ago when I was able to take a few months off here and there, I always thought of it as "a long weekend" but retirement is forever and much better, IMO.

Don't forget to take vacations from all the travel coming up.

 

[calmloki]

Rob - best of luck - might suggest dumping the dogs (horrible needy creatures that suck time, money, and care) and increasing your cat herd. Only a suggestion.

YouTube - Simon's Cat 'Cat Man Do'

 

[Purron]

Thanks everyone for the welcome and encouragement.

Deep down I know that while this is the end of one part of my life, it is also the beginning of something new. I guess it's the cautious lawyer (think belt and suspenders) getting the upperhand just now.

robcanuck - Hey, I understand! I'm the cautious accountant type (think calculator and green eyeshade) and was also employed by the Federal Goverment. I've been retired for just over a year now. It was more of an adjustment than I thought even though, like you, I'd planned everything out to the nth degree. Hard to let go of the professional life after so many years, but I can tell you I'm glad I did. Come on in, the water's fine

 

[Calgary_Girl]

Welcome my fellow Canuck!

Don't listen to Calmloki....dogs are the best!

 

[janetvj]

Calmloki - someone has been looking in my windows, as that little clip accurately depicts my every-morning! But, in addition to my cat, I also have 2 (large!) horribly needy creatures that suck time, money and care. I love them all.

Welcome robcanuck! I am pulling the plug on May 1st, so we can march into this wonderland of retirement together. Good luck to you.

 

[Koolau]

Welcome Rob

Do continue to check back here. I live vicariously though those about to retire. Brings back fond memories of my own retirement not all that many years ago. Love "countdowns" that some post - wish I'd had that luxury as I pulled the plug pretty quickly when "the time" came.

We're "between" pets. Would love to adopt a cat, but our proposed travel schedule is unfair to "critters" right now.

I does sound like you've done some good planning and have your "what'll ya do all day?" question neatly answered. I struggled with that for a while but things fell into place after a while.

Best luck!

 

[robcanuck]

calmloki:

Too funny. Our Maine Coon actually rules the roost. I'm sure he would be happy if the whippets left the premises. But we love them all.

Rob

 

[robcanuck]

Janet:

May 1 is coming up very fast. We'll have to compare notes this summer.

All the best

Rob

 

[Meadbh]

Hi all:

I've been a "lurker" on these forums for the past year or so. The discussions have certainly helped me with planning for retirement. I'm going to walk out the door "a free man" at the end of June.

A bit about myself:

57 years old. Lawyer with the federal government. Married 4 years but we've been together for 30 (Canada didn't recognize same-sex relationships until recently). No kids but 4 dogs and a cat.

Financially, we'll be OK - defined benefit pension with COLA; good medical and dental plans; adequate savings; no mortgage.

My partner, (he's 53), is self-employed and plans to keep working full time for a few more years and then gradually scale back. His work involves a great deal of international travel. I plan to be the accompanying spouse.


Rob

Rob, here's an etiquette question. I have a few colleagues and friends who are in same sex marriages. What is the most appropriate term to use when inquiring about someone's spouse?

e.g. How's Susan? (fine if you know the person's name)
OR How's your spouse?/ partner? / SO? / DH / DW?

The latter two imply TMI to me....

 

[Moemg]

I wonder about that with live in or long time relationships of all sex combos . Lets face at 60 it feels silly being referred to as a girlfriend so what are the choices ? Main squeeze , lover , SO , friend , roommate ?? They all seem lacking ?

 

[robcanuck]

Meadbh

I prefer partner in almost all social situations (although it sometimes gets confusing in legal circles because it has more than 1 meaning to lawyers). I've noticed lots of folks using "partner" regardless of whether it's a same-sex or opposite-sex relationship. Seems more inclusive to me. It also sends a signal that the speaker isn't making assumptions that a relationship is necessarily heterosexual.

I don't use spouse - to me, that's a term better reserved for government forms.

With close friends, we sometimes refer to each other as "husband" since we're married, but I wouldn't expect others to use that term.

Ah the joys of social change, eh?

But thanks for asking.

Rob

 

[shoe]

Rob, my mom has been greatly helped by a retired lawyer working pro bono. I think it's wonderful that you care enough to do this for your fellow human beings. Thank you!

 

[Dreamer]

Welcome Robcanuck,

It sounds like you will have plenty to do in retirement. You will also be able to make your partner's life easier and more enjoyable by taking care of some of the mundane chores while he is at work.

I retired from the Federal government after almost 33 yrs of work. I understand your being nervous. I think that a lot of people who work for the feds, do so for the security, so one is letting go of that security line.

I retired 6/2/06 and have enjoyed it tremendously. I would have missed out on so many opportunities, if I had still been working. I figured that I missed out on a lot of opportunities during the almost 33 yrs working for the feds and the 4-5 yrs working prior to the feds.

Enjoy your last working days and I hope that you have a long and wonderful retirement.

 

[Bestwifeever]

Your dogs are going to be soooo happy to have you available during the day when you're not jetsetting (Most cats I've known won't be quite so obvious about it ).

Congratulations!

 

[freebird5825]

I wonder about that with live in or long time relationships of all sex combos . Lets face at 60 it feels silly being referred to as a girlfriend so what are the choices ? Main squeeze , lover , SO , friend , roommate ?? They all seem lacking ?

I like to use a kind of hierarchy system, listing in lowest to highest order...

Hey You
Friends
Friends with Extras
Boyfriend/Girlfriend
Fiance
Husband/Wife
King/Queen

Depending on dh2b's behavior that day, he can be promoted or demoted to any level at any time, without written notice.
Unfortunately, I am also subject to same terms.
Sometimes all this 50-50 stuff backfires on me.

 

[freebird5825]

...lots of folks using "partner" regardless of whether it's a same-sex or opposite-sex relationship. Seems more inclusive to me. It also sends a signal that the speaker isn't making assumptions that a relationship is necessarily heterosexual.

...refer to each other as "husband" since we're married, but I wouldn't expect others to use that term.

I like both, actually.
Feel free to add any terms to my "hierarchy" list in my previous post here.

Husband and wife are no longer a required matched set of words, any more than the "heads under the sand" attitudes about same-sex relationships.

Congrats on your retirement, BTW.
Bored yet?

 

[robcanuck]

You will also be able to make your partner's life easier and more enjoyable by taking care of some of the mundane chores while he is at work.

I had to chuckle. This has been the subject of recent discussions about my impending retirement. Not being much of a housekeeper, one of my chores has been to clean the upstairs on Saturdays.
Sometimes my efforts didn't meet muster and my partner has been known to comment: "Doesn't look like the Saturday girl was in". While I intend to make greater efforts in this area,
somehow we both know that it's likely a lost cause. I am going to take full responsibility for laundry though. There's more likelihood of success in that department.

Rob

 

[old woman]

Congratulations on your impending freedom. As for the name of the other person I haven't found one I like. I have a man living with me but we aren't partners, engaged or significant others. Half the time I call him my boyfriend and the rest he is my roommate. As for gay and lesbian couples I don't really like partner because business partners uses partners. I like life partner if you are in a very long term relationship sharing money and assets. We still don't have same gender marriage, congratulations on your marriage.