Weaning off Ventilator

[easysurfer]

My friend is in an long term acute care hospital for respiratory failure. She's been on a ventilator to breath for her pretty much the past two weeks. On Tuesday, the she's scheduled for a tracheotomy, as one can't be on a ventilator too long before there's tissue damage.

Hopefully, with the tracheotomy, it'll only be temporary.

At this point, she is 100% dependent on the ventilator for her breathing. I hope that it won't be a permamnent thing.

The goal is to with the trach, to eventually wean her off the ventilator. I hope that is a realistic goal and just not false optimism given by the doctors to her and her family.

 

[SkisALot]

Your post is now a few weeks old. I hope things have gone well for your friend. And I'm sorry you're in such a sad situation.

 

[Nova]

Your post is now a few weeks old. I hope things have gone well for your friend. And I'm sorry you're in such a sad situation.

+1

 

[easysurfer]

Unfortunately, things haven't gone that well. She's still on the ventilator. It's sad as usually around Thanksgiving, we'd be planning our turkey dinner. Funny, we'd always say "not gonna get a turkey this year" but always end up doing so.

Thanks for your thoughts.

 

[SkisALot]

Thanks for your thoughts.

They're still with you.

 

[easysurfer]

Unfortuately, things have not been better, but worse for my friend since the time I originally posted. Not only is she still on the ventilator, but also her kidneys have failed so she has to go through dialysis.

The past weeks have been tough (especially around the holidays). So many things that I do, and stuff around my place remind me of my friend. Sad -- simple things like enjoying a favorite meal together will probably never happen again.

How do folks get through it (loss of a dear friend, or spouse)?

 

[Nuiloa]

I'm sorry to hear about your friend's ill health. I know how hard it is for everyone. However, people can and do learn to live with trachs. Go to the Johns Hopkins website for all sorts of info on how to live with a tracheostomy (www.hopkinsmedicine.org) Eating and drinking should not be a problem, with care. Heck, they even tell you how you can go swimming!

Don't give up hope. The body is an amazing thing.

 

[meekie]

How do folks get through it (loss of a dear friend, or spouse)?

Well, I'm lucky to not have too much experience, but when I was helping a friend with terminal cancer, I picked up a book called Handbook for Mortals: Guidance for people facing serious illness. It really helped with making plans while not giving up hope.

You'll both be in my thoughts.

 

[Moemg]

How do folks get through it (loss of a dear friend, or spouse)?

So sorry to hear about your friend . As for getting through a loss only time a lot of time helps !

 

[easysurfer]

Sad news. I spoke with my friend's family this morning. They will be taking my friend off life support tomorrow as she is getting worse and not better. Originally, they were going to do that today, but wanted me present with my friend. Thanks everyone for your thoughts -- even though I don't know you in person, the support helps.

 

[Sarah in SC]

I am so sorry for your loss and I am sure the family appreciates your willingness to be there. It is hard to do.

 

[Nemo2]

Shortly before my late wife died, (lung cancer, she didn't reach her 52nd birthday), her doctor, (more because he was obliged to do so, rather than recommending it, I believe), raised the possibility of placing her on a ventilator.

I told him I'd never do such a thing to her.......if there was even the slightest possibility of a recovery, (which there wasn't), I'd do anything, but I wouldn't artificially induce an imitation of 'life' - he appeared relieved that that was my response.

I then spoke with the 'most rational' of her brothers and said that I'd stick with my decision, but that I'd appreciate it if he'd back me up, should the need arise.

It didn't......when I told her mother she immediately said "Oh God, no, don't put her on a ventilator".

My wife died not too long after.

 

[bbbamI]

Seems as if the two of you are so fortunate to have found each other.

My thoughts are with the both of you.

 

[SkisALot]

I'm very sorry. Some things that helped me when I lost my beloved Mother and Sister: 1) Grieve, for as long as it takes, no matter what anyone says; 2) Maintain a steady course. Don't make major decisions; 3) When you can't get up out of the chair, tell yourself that if you get up, you can always sit back down, but get up; 4) Keep moving. Take long walks, clean the shower, mop the floor, anything; 5) Eat, anything you can, no matter how much you don't want to. At some point, when you're doing the most mundane activity - walking across the room, unlocking the door - you'll get a glimmer of your "self." Hang on tight to that feeling, and wait for more.

 

[easysurfer]

My dear friend passed away Saturday, Dec 3rd. She was a beautiful soul who never failed to see the eyes through the eyes of a child. Her family and I was by her side.

As difficult and sad as it feels for those left behind, I know that was the best choice to set her spirit free.

I'm still getting used to the idea (will take some time, I know) of having to refer to her in the past. It is difficult, for example, shopping for groceries. I'd remember, she wasn't mobile so she would usually shop using one of those motorized carts. We'd work as a team. I'd walk the store (getting my aerobics in) looking for items (bread, deli meat, fruits, etc.) and she'd scoot around on the mortorized cart looking for other goods. We'd separate, then eventually we'd find each other in the store, and of course, buy some potato chips or other snacks for watching TV (TCM-Turner Classics Movies, Bizare Foods, etc.) late at night together. Those simple moments are the ones that I miss.

 

[Nemo2]

Those simple moments are the ones that I miss.

When my wife died I thought "There are all those memories, gone forever".....yes, you can relate stories/experiences to other people, but never again can you point at something and say "Look, doesn't that remind you of........?"

 

[Bestwifeever]

I'm so sorry to hear this news. Take care of yourself now.

 

[MichaelB]

easysurfer, so sorry for your loss. It was good you were there at her side.

 

[bbbamI]

I'm sorry.

I hope sweet memories continue to flood your heart.

 

[easysurfer]

I'm sorry.

I hope sweet memories continue to flood your heart.

Thanks. Over the past few days, my heart, mind has been having lots of memories. Amazing how they seem tucked away somewhere until now.

 

[omni550]

Sorry for your loss. Sounds like you were a wonderful friend to her.

Hopefully the pain of loss will lessen with time. And you'll still have many fond memories of the times you had together.

omni

 

[JOHNNIE36]

easysurfer, I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I know it was tough, but you being there at the end sure meant a lot and shows your strength. Peace be with you.

 

[barnaby]

hi easysurfer----my deepest condolences on the loss of your dear friend.

 

[Nemo2]

My dear friend passed away Saturday, Dec 3rd.

I was listening to Johnny Reid while on the elliptical today....this track always grabs me, and perhaps it's one you might enjoy, or draw comfort from:

[youtube]mt4ZcsBfaNU[/youtube]

 

[easysurfer]

That's a very touching song. Thx.

It's cliche, like "It's a Wonderful Life", but one doesn't realize how many lives they touch until they are gone.