Would you trade 20 years earlier FIRE for private education for your kids?

[swampwiz]

I won't try to debate the pros and cons, but I will say that I think you are incredibly light on the cost of a private four year college. You are looking at more like $50,000 per year. So with your hypothetical three kids that's $600,000 easy. Add an extra 5th year and that's another $150,000.

I phrased the cost of a private university as a delta from a public university - and I took into consideration that the list price and the street price for private universities, especially, can be quite different.

 

[NW-Bound]

For most people, the local school will be just fine for the kids...

Sometimes we did wonder if a private school might not be better for our children. If nothing else, a bit of discipline and a better environment of peers would be good for them, not that the private school might be academically better.

But thank goodness, my children are turning out OK. I am glad that we will not have to second-guess ourselves, and wonder if we could have done more to help them.

 

[youbet]

There seems to be an unspoken assumption in this thread that private school will always result in a better educational outcome than the local public school.

That's not true, but I can see where that misconception can come from. The actual prevalent assumption is that they'll always be a cheap, public school solution unless you're a bad parent or have a dumb kid or both. All those good parents with "smart" kids can send them to school under absolutely any conditions and have it all turn out A-OK with junior earning an MBA from Harvard and becoming a multi-billionaire by the time she/he is 12 yo. Otherwise, you and the kids are just "dummies."

Anyway, anecdotal examples, especially involving oneself, are just that. In my case, given my very average (on a good day) intelligence and being a first generation college grad, a private college with personal attention bailed me out after spending K - 12 fighting to keep my throat unslit in the CPS's. For others, I'm sure it would have been a complete waste and reading by firelight and using charcoal and a board to write would have worked out as well or better.

In your case, you attended a poor HS and did well. Good for you.

 

[youbet]

But if it were me,"

Yeah, yeah..... And if pigs could fly......

 

[youbet]

I feel like adding here that in some countries outside of the US, the prestigious colleges or universities are public, not private..

There is some of that here as well NW.

My oldest grandson has cerebral palsy. The kids chose the school district carefully when house hunting as public schools are generally better equipped and funded for special ed students. If you have a child with special needs, you're generally going to be better off at the public, not private school. So you better get the school district you want because going private will likely not be an alternative.

 

[Bestwifeever]

There seems to be an unspoken assumption in this thread that private school will always result in a better educational outcome than the local public school. I don't believe that's true. For most people, the local school will be just fine for the kids, even if it doesn't provide the necessary bragging rights for their parents.

Our local public school affords many more bragging rights than the Catholic high school school the little feever kids went to. What were we thinking?

 

[Gumby]

Mostly referring to my many neighbors, here on the Gold Coast of Connecticut, who must have their children in the "right" schools, even though the local public schools are excellent.

 

[swampwiz]

OP, is this question simply hypothetical? Do you have any skin in the game or just trying to get a rise out of folks with some gossip about "your friend?" Do you even have kids?

Yes, it's hypothetical. No, I do not have kids as of yet, but I believe that I will someday, and this decision will need to be made. Of course, since I am FIREing at a lower level than most here, such a luxury would not be possible, even if I thought it was worth the cost.

As for my feelings, I think that it should be possible to live in an area with decent schools, or to home school, and to attach oneself to the public teat for university education as much as possible.

 

[youbet]

As for my feelings, I think that it should be possible to live in an area with decent schools, or to home school, and to attach oneself to the public teat for university education as much as possible.

OK. Whatever......... When I went back and read your initial post I realized I had taken it too seriously and that you were just BSing. Get some skin in the game and come back and play for real.....

BTW, if you stop and think about it, you should be FIRE'd now. Are you working just to build up large, excess reserves?

 

[Spanky]

As for my feelings, I think that it should be possible to live in an area with decent schools, or to home school, and to attach oneself to the public teat for university education as much as possible.

That's a good strategy. BTW, here's a link of school rankings: SchoolDigger.com - School Rankings, Reviews and More - Public and Private Elementary, Middle, High Schools

The high school that I attended was rated poorly, i.e., 2 stars. I tend to agree. It was not a very good school, poor infrastructure and paucity in course selection. The most advanced class was pre-calculus. The school that my older daughter attended and my younger is attending has a 5-star rating.

 

[WhoDaresWins]

That's a good strategy. BTW, here's a link of school rankings: SchoolDigger.com - School Rankings, Reviews and More - Public and Private Elementary, Middle, High Schools

The high school that I attended was rated poorly, i.e., 2 stars. I tend to agree. It was not a very good school, poor infrastructure and paucity in course selection. The most advanced class was pre-calculus. The school that my older daughter attended and my younger is attending has a 5-star rating.

Well, you are ahead of me, Spanky, as my high school alma mater rated zero stars. My son (and husband) attended a five star high school.

 

[NW-Bound]

Interesting Web site! I don't know how they determine the ratings, but out of curiosity, decided to look up the schools that my children attended (they are 25 and 21 now).

Elementary: 3 stars
Middle School: 4 stars
High School: 4 stars

The next question is what rating our state U has. Search the Web... Oh, it's one of the "10 coolest" universities, whatever that means. And it's also one of the "greenest". Okay!

I remember that it used to be called one of the "top 10 party schools", so I guess it has improved.

 

[FreeAtLast]

I think that everyones situation is different. It is not all about $$$. I have a child who has had difficulties to to severe stomach problems. The private school route certainly has helped. He is not enrolled in a private on line high school and finally doing great.
My older daughter private undergraduate but she got a partial scholarship which helped quite a bit.
My parents paid for my private college and I got a good job in the computer field 35 years ago and each job has paid me well ever since.

 

[Spanky]

The next question is what rating our state U has. Search the Web... Oh, it's one of the "10 coolest" universities, whatever that means. And it's also one of the "greenest". Okay!

I would look it up in US News:
Best Colleges - Education - US News
DD is attending one of the top-tier ones.

 

[NW-Bound]

Thanks. Rank 143, score 32, whatever that means.

I have been a bit casual about all this. I have worked with 3 graduates of the top engineering school of the country. One had a PhD, the other two with a Master degree. One was a true loser. One was mediocre. The other one was good, but not exceptional. It is most likely these 3 are not among the top graduates of that school, but it means the school by itself is of no guarantee.

 

[WhoDaresWins]

I graduated from high school in 1972 so I think my currently zero-starred school would have merited a star or two back then. In any case, it prepared me well enough to graduate summa cum laude from the #4 ranked university in the US News article.

 

[Texas Proud]

You sound as though the quality of public eduction is the same from place to place and school district to school district. I have not seen any studies where they show that, not even close. Where did you get that information?

I do agree with you, however, that adding 20 working years to your life plans to pay for a private or partially private education does seem excessive. What went wrong with the parent's education and career that it could take 20 years? Wouldn't you dial in a higher income during those years to compensate? Isn't that ability part of the reason you got that wall full of degrees hanging next to your computer?

I did not say public education is the same from place to place... I said it was pretty cheap and pretty good...

I agree there can be pretty bad places... I am not in one of them... I would move to a good district before I paid for private school in a bad district...

I will also say 'cheap' in a way... I have paid dearly over the years for our public schools... more than it costs to educate two kids... but private school would be on top of that..


Also, we are talking all levels... you can choose which university to attend... and not go to the bad one unless you just are not good enough for the top notch one...

 

[Texas Proud]

We would and we did.

Agree with above posters re it being a personal choice that each family has to make on its own.

I bet you earned more than the $70K from the OP... if you did, then maybe your answer would have changed...

 

[youbet]

I would move to a good district before I paid for private school in a bad district...

I bet you earned more than the $70K from the OP... if you did, then maybe your answer would have changed...

 

[youbet]

I did not say public education is the same from place to place... I said it was pretty cheap and pretty good...

I agree there can be pretty bad places...

Seems like a bit of a contradiction there.

 

[Marc1962]

We home school through 8th grade, use a highly regarded local public charter school for high school, and Purdue University thereafter. We let our kids know that they will start their independent lives with debt if they want to attend a private college.

We encourage our kids to focus during high school on academics rather than work (and provide them with spending money, cell phones, car insurance, and access to an car), and the approach has paid off so far as the oldest three have full-tuition scholarships. Midway through college we provide a $5K vehicle as a gift, and we plan to provide cash college graduation gifts ($5K? not sure yet of the amount) to help them start their own households and to transition them to paying for their own cell phones, car insurance, etc.

I suppose the biggest spending decision we made in this area was for DW to quit her job and focus on the kids; however, that decision was as much about our own preference for that lifestyle as it was about the kids' educations. We never thought of the impact on retirement preparation of our spending decisions in this area. In general, we saved modestly for retirement and spent everything else. Our retirement savings strategy left us with only about 1.5 times annual income in our 401K at ages 48 and 52, so we would have had a late, meager retirement if our company stock had not become valuable and liquid. Sometimes it's better to be lucky than good!

All that said, as parents of five children, we generally have been wary of private school as a large expense that also fosters relationships with people who have the means and inclination to spend more heavily than we could afford.

 

[youbet]

I bet you earned more than the $70K from the OP.

OP and his DW didn't make $70k. He said he just made that number up...... He never raised kids nor did his make believe friend.

 

[youbet]

We home school through 8th grade, use a highly regarded local public charter school for high school, and Purdue University thereafter..........

All that said, as parents of five children, we generally have been wary of private school as a large expense that also fosters relationships with people who have the means and inclination to spend more heavily than we could afford.

As a top engineering school, Purdue attracks thousands of out of state students who pay tuition and fees equal to or greater than most private schools. Aren't you fearful that your children will have "relationships with people who have the means and inclination to spend more heavily than you could afford" (as you put it) attending at full cost from other states? Gosh, those nasty out of state students paying full, unsubsidized tuition might say hello to one of your children and, gosh, who knows what could happen?

 

[Marc1962]

What's with the sarcasm, youbet? Perhaps you didn't intend to convey hostility, but that's how it's coming across to me.

I was simply trying to explain that for me a decision to pay for private school, would have expenses over and above the tuition. In order to ensure that my kids fit into the wealthier social environment of a private school, I would be inclined to spend more on clothes, entertainment, etc. than I would to fit into a less wealthy setting.

 

[youbet]

I was simply trying to explain that for me a decision to pay for private school, would have expenses over and above the tuition. In order to ensure that my kids fit into the wealthier social environment of a private school, I would be inclined to spend more on clothes, entertainment, etc. than I would to fit into a less wealthy setting.

I was just pointing out that huge numbers of students at Purdue pay private school equivalent levels of costs due to their out of state status. At the same time many private school students in Indiana are attending their schools on aid packages because their families are of modest means. The public school = poor kids and private school = rich kids image is frequently incorrect.