The straw that broke the camels back...

[MRG]

I get it Ray. I had some grown a $$ men who said they wanted to work, refuse to work outside because they were cold! The one guy drove his car out in the middle of a log yard so he could get inside with heat. There was a large log loader working next to him that would have not noticed that car go crunch as the operator backed over it. I ran off six new hires that morning. Better to be cold than hungry.

 

[bmcgonig]

Now that I've had a chance to read some more, I'll add to my previous post...



Yep, I'm just simply amazed when I see some teenager on TV that seems so accomplished and comfortable with public speaking, and can respond to a question on the spot with something more than "ummm, fine". I guess I turned out mostly OK, but I wonder what I could have been with that kind of a head start.



To the OP - if many of the people on this forum could not figure out what you were talking about, and we are adults, and many of us have successfully raised kids to adulthood, I'm betting that your son won't understand a word of what you say, or try to non-verbally communicate. Don't assume anything.



-ERD50

+1to Options and ERD50. If I had been caught at some of the really dumb dumb dumb things I did when I was a teenager I would have been arrested. That part of my pre frontal cortex wasn't even close to developed. I shudder when I think of all the stupid things I did. Thank god I just lucked out and got smart sooner rather than too late.


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[ERD50]

.... I come home and he's full of excuses; I wasn't having any of it --I suggest he retire to his bedroom. ...

What was his excuses? I think people here are still confused as to what happened?

-ERD50

 

[aja8888]

Open the instruction book you got from the hospital when he was born, you know, the one with the title on the cover that says "How to Raise Children".

Find the chapter: "Boys, the Teen Years"....(if you can find it).

Actually, the chapter on girls is much more frightening.

 

[MRG]

If I had been caught at some of the really dumb dumb dumb things I did when I was a teenager I would have been arrested. That part of my pre frontal cortex wasn't even close to developed. I shudder when I think of all the stupid things I did.
..snip

Thanks for the memories. I'm lucky I didn't kill myself and not from stupid tricks like some. I recall the first summer logging with my brother. He'd had me grease and change oil in equipment and when he came back there I was. Under a dozer changing oil, no blocking and the thing held up by the hydraulics! He d*mn near killed me. That lesson was quickly learned but there were many others. I sometimes wonder how I survived.

 

[Winemaker]

As a former supervisor of 20+ salary and 150+hourly personnel, I wished that at least 10% of them had a parent like you, rayinpenn. People just don't get it. Teamwork, if everyone does a little no one does a lot, etc.

And then they bitc* about how the company makes million$. I tell them they have 100s of million$ invested, they should get millions.

Good job rayinpenn!

 

[athena53]

I think you need to call the U.S. Army recruiter and give him your son's name as a potential future soldier. Maybe his selling skills are strong enough to convince your son they have a place for him.

This is a bit drastic. I sent mine to military school for HS- a lot of the same effects, but no danger of being sent to the Middle East (also a lot more expensive).

Ray, I feel your pain. After a frustrating day of trying to work to feed the family and putting up with whatever crap that entails, I can imagine feeling angry at a kid who has a job but doesn't take it very seriously. Keep letting him know you hold him to higher standards. They do pay attention. When DS took a grocery store job in college during the summers, he was pretty industrious- showed up on time even if he had to be there at 6:30 AM. When I told him how impressed we were with his work ethic, he said, "Mom, I remember how hard you worked to support us after you and Dad divorced". Wow. I had it much better than most single mothers: a college education, professional credentials and a stable, well-paying job. It really melted my heart!

 

[travelover]

Sorry, can't help myself...

So I'll bet all your son heard was "don't ever let me catch you...".

..........

Thread wander....I made this mistake once. We had a supplier with an on site employee whose job it was to attend to the vendor's issues with MegaMotors. This employee spend all his time buying and selling Deloreans to ship back to Europe.

I called his boss and said "I'm tired of watching him goof off, while we fix your problems". They moved him to another location where I couldn't see him. Still goofing off.

Back to regular programming.

 

[target2019]

I know on Friday I remained inside all day in SE NJ/PA. It was 92 with excessive humidity. A day later we're working towards heat warnings and 100 degree weather. Last week I know I had a difficult time crossing the parking lot with temp in the mid 90's. Can't imagine what it would be like pushing shopping carts.

As a teen, my first job was climbing into the back of cars at the car wash, then find a way to make the inside of the windows as clean as the outside. Probably an impossible task given that most peopled smoked heavily and the sun was beating down on those rear windows as I sprayed and wiped several times. Earned about 80 cents an hour or something like that.

 

[eytonxav]

This thread reminds me of how the media goes crazy over some things that are said on the political trail

 

[Big_Hitter]

I know on Friday I remained inside all day in SE NJ/PA. It was 92 with excessive humidity. A day later we're working towards heat warnings and 100 degree weather. Last week I know I had a difficult time crossing the parking lot with temp in the mid 90's. Can't imagine what it would be like pushing shopping carts.

As a teen, my first job was climbing into the back of cars at the car wash, then find a way to make the inside of the windows as clean as the outside. Probably an impossible task given that most peopled smoked heavily and the sun was beating down on those rear windows as I sprayed and wiped several times. Earned about 80 cents an hour or something like that.

you must be relatively small. otoh, one of my jobs as a teen was to climb inside a trash dumpster to compact the trash (jump up and down on it) so my boss could save on a dump truck call; yes, i was the biggest person in the warehouse

 

[rayinpenn]

What was his excuses? I think people here are still confused as to what happened?



-ERD50

I was tired
The car was only on for 2 minutes
I was caught up


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[Big_Hitter]

I was tired
The car was only on for 2 minutes
I was caught up
and I just reclined and put that towell over my head


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fify

 

[sengsational]

Dang, the kid has a job. Count your blessings! The crack pipe comment was along my line of thinking. I'd be more annoyed at myself for not having a defined plan for the access card.

 

[calmloki]

I remember my dad getting pretty frantic about seeing me with my hands in my pockets. It did sink in over time - it bothers me now to see someone standing around like that. I stayed lazy, but truly lazy life requires making the right moves at the right time - some call that efficient.

 

[redduck]

... I get out and immediately notice the car is running - I think what? I then see my son sitting in the front seat with the seat back, air conditioning blasting with a towel over his face... I sense I am going to lose it in public... I tell him give me my access card and don't ever let me catch you... (You get the drift) and drive off. My blood pressure no doubt is spiking and I am angry... I call the wife on the speaker phone and tell her what our son was doing (A major vent session).. Later he shows no evidence of being contrite and managed to anger her further. She tossed him out of the house for a couple of hours. I come home and he's full of excuses; I wasn't having any of it --I suggest he retire to his bedroom.

1. Running the old car that doesn't need additional time on the engine
2. Wasting gas
3. If you not doing carts ...you are bagging or helping out..

Talk about lame excuses for you to get so angry and then have a major vent session with your wife. The first two excuses of yours truly suck (IMHO). Why would your son be contrite? He was dealing with two out-of-control adults. (Once again, IMHO).

 

[tmm99]

Dang, the kid has a job. Count your blessings! The crack pipe comment was along my line of thinking.

Really?? Count his blessings because his son isn't a crack head? Sure he has a job, but he doesn't deserve to keep the job, does he. I wouldn't want anybody sleeping while on the clock if I had business. 17 year old, or not.

I would be very disappointed if my son (I don't have a son, but if I did) had done this. Sleeping in a car while being paid for it?? I might take his car away (if it's my car). He can take the bus to work. I might even wish his boss found out and fired him for this. I would like to nip this in the bud.

 

[target2019]

you must be relatively small. otoh, one of my jobs as a teen was to climb inside a trash dumpster to compact the trash (jump up and down on it) so my boss could save on a dump truck call; yes, i was the biggest person in the warehouse

Thinking it was the summer between 8th and 9th grade. Just got working papers, so 14 years old. I was definitely one of the youngins. I remember there being adults also.

 

[rayinpenn]

Talk about lame excuses for you to get so angry and then have a major vent session with your wife. The first two excuses of yours truly suck (IMHO). Why would your son be contrite? He was dealing with two out-of-control adults. (Once again, IMHO).

I make no excuse because none is needed...
Like it or not when you get paid you work... Otherwise you are stealing.
No insult intended ...we all have different feelings about work...pocket money Job or not.


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[Mulligan]

I make no excuse because none is needed...
Like it or not when you get paid you work... Otherwise you are stealing.
No insult intended ...we all have different feelings about work...pocket money Job or not.


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Old school....I like it...


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[redduck]

1. Running the old car that doesn't need additional time on the engine
2. Wasting gas
3. If you not doing carts ...you are bagging or helping out..
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Talk about lame excuses for you to get so angry and then have a major vent session with your wife. The first two excuses of yours truly suck (IMHO). Why would your son be contrite? He was dealing with two out-of-control adults. (Once again, IMHO).

I make no excuse because none is needed...
Like it or not when you get paid you work... Otherwise you are stealing.
No insult intended ...we all have different feelings about work...pocket money Job or not.
Sent from my iPad using Early Retirement Forumh

No problem: didn't feel that there was an insult.
However, my post had to do with your behavior, not your son's behavior.
My post referenced your first two reasons/excuses for becoming so angry. You seemed to have side-stepped that in your reply. I mean, just how important was it to you that your son was running the engine and using up how much gas?

 

[ERD50]

Dang, the kid has a job. Count your blessings! The crack pipe comment was along my line of thinking. I'd be more annoyed at myself for not having a defined plan for the access card.

Rather ironic, no?

Some of us are willing to cut the kid some slack - he's a teenage boy, inexperienced in the workforce. Yes, it sounds like what he did was wrong, but he likely just needs some coaching. IMO, this should be turned into a calm teaching moment, not a gasket-blowing rant. One will be much more constructive than the other.

OTOH, a grown adult isn't keeping track of his access card? Maybe the son should blow a gasket towards his Dad's irresponsible behavior!

Reminds me of a cube-mate I once had. He could do some pretty decent engineering work, but in many ways was extremely clueless. One morning, after he forgot his access card yet again, he actually turned to me, and very seriously said "ERD50, how do you remember to bring your access card to work?". It was tough to think of something to say that wasn't condescending ("Act like an adult?"), I think I just said I drop it off with my keys in the same place every day, and I can't leave w/o my keys, so it works for me.

Yes, habitually forgetting is different from a one time misplacing, but I still think it is a little funny.

Another comment on somewhat clueless teens. I recall my Dad yelling at me for this or that, and at the time I just thought it was his somewhat-hard-ass attitude - just griping at me. It wasn't until long afterwards that I realized he was trying to teach me something. There was a lesson in his griping. But I didn't hear it at the time. And he wasn't good enough at communicating or relating to a teen to say something like "You really need to do this or don't do that, because other people will interpret that behavior in a certain way, and your life will be easier and you'll get further, faster if you can leave a positive impression on them".

If only I had a mentor like that early on in life. I truly believe my Dad tried, he just didn't know how. And I kinda regret that I wasn't able to see it at the time. I only heard griping and put-downs.

-ERD50

 

[sengsational]

Really?? Count his blessings because his son isn't a crack head? Sure he has a job, but he doesn't deserve to keep the job, does he. I wouldn't want anybody sleeping while on the clock if I had business. 17 year old, or not.

I would be very disappointed if my son (I don't have a son, but if I did) had done this. Sleeping in a car while being paid for it?? I might take his car away (if it's my car). He can take the bus to work. I might even wish his boss found out and fired him for this. I would like to nip this in the bud.

Yes, absolutely. As someone who has worried about serious (permanent life changing/ending) decisions of my kids, catching a few z's is a small thing. Not only that, it's something between him and his employer; outside intervention is not required. His actions will catch-up with him, and it will be a lesson that will be an order of magnitude more effective than hours of parental jaw flapping.

 

[RobbieB]

Oh yeah.

I was working summer replacement at Ford when I was 21. Got a late start one day and traffic was thick. Punched in late. As I was walking to my machine the General Foreman (suit & tie) saw me and asked if I liked my job. Yes I said. His reply "then show up on time"

Devastating. Never late again.

 

[38Chevy454]

I'm with Ray, his son should not be goofing off and sitting in the car with A/C running when son is supposed to be working. All this teenage brain does not think right is an excuse. His son needs to be held responsible, no excuses. This is called learning from your mistakes and being responsible for your actions.

None of us are perfect, but I doubt there is one of use that, in the shoes of the grocery store employer, would find the son's actions acceptable.

If it was so hot the son needed a break, then he should have asked mgr to alternate with another one or two bag boys to get the carts and help bag inside to cool down. Although I doubt it was that bad at 9:45 am.