Learning to spend after years of saving...

[Winemaker]

Silverton, Ouray, what beautiful places! I'll bring some wine......

 

[hesperus]

20 years ago Silverton was not an expensive area. It was pretty remote in the winter. Do they have skiing there now?

Silverton, Ouray, what beautiful places! I'll bring some wine......

Hermit, Winemaker, yes, there is a ski 'area' there now, which is more of an extreme skiiers dream come true. 'All thrills, no frills' is their motto, with no easy way down. A single old double chairlift whisks you to 13,400 ft, where it opens up to the highest and steepest terrain in the country. Mostly guided skiing, but they do allow unguided skiing when they get the avalanche risk under control. It is truly an amazing ski experience. No development at the base, but the town has benefitted from the influx of skiiers who have it on their bucket list. The value of property in silverton has crept up, but in it's essence, the town is still economically challenged, and it's like stepping back into 1890. I think it's getting more on people's radar, which is both good and bad. It's good because Silverton is remote, and having more amenities is welcome. It's bad because with its discovery, it runs the risk of losing its unique character.

A view from the top of silverton mountian:

 

[Hermit]

Hermit, Winemaker, yes, there is a ski 'area' there now, which is more of an extreme skiiers dream come true. 'All thrills, no frills' is their motto, with no easy way down....

My cousin (a lifetime local) had told me there was a small local mountain, but I thought it was like most local mountains and not much past a bunny hill. Sounds like it is quite a bit more than a bunny hill!

 

[Hermit]

I broke out of my [-]miserly[/-] frugal shell this week. I had a colonoscopy and instead of doing the day prior prep and the day of recovery at the old motor home out in the boondocks, I stayed in a nice motel just down the street from the hospital where the procedure was done. Much more convenient. It hurt a little to pass up the free breakfast the morning of, though.

BTW, the procedure went fine. "No issues. See you 10 years."

 

[misshathaway]

I broke out of my [-]miserly[/-] frugal shell this week. I had a colonoscopy and instead of doing the day prior prep and the day of recovery at the old motor home out in the boondocks, I stayed in a nice motel just down the street from the hospital where the procedure was done. Much more convenient. It hurt a little to pass up the free breakfast the morning of, though.

BTW, the procedure went fine. "No issues. See you 10 years."

What a great idea - staying within walking distance of the procedure! The last time I had this done it was such a worry to figure out who to burden to take time off to drive me. My clinic would not allow going home in a taxi.

Congrats on the results and the pursestring progress. They told me 13 years. So odd - not 10 or 15, no, precisely 13.

 

[Music Lover]

I test drove 3 nice used vehicles a couple days ago and left the dealer thinking that I was on my way to making a purchase. But, I slept on it and my frugal gene kicked in overnight and started making excuses why I shouldn't go through with it. My mother had her hopes up as she wants my current vehicle...it has AWD and heated seats (winter climate) and her older vehicle has neither.

 

[hesperus]

Pretty much in the same boat here, albeit a smaller boat. I too am spending far less than I could and haven't really tapped into principal yet, and without any natural heirs I suspect I will be leaving a large inheritance to several charities and/or lucky friends, distant relatives, etc. A "high class problem", some would say, but still it's something I sort of struggle with. Honestly, though, I'm pretty happy with my spending and don't feel I'm depriving myself in any significant way. I have been loosening the purse strings a bit more over the past year, and I hope this continues. Definitely somewhat of a learning process for me, going from an ultra-ultra saver for my entire adult life to more of a "free spender" now that the saving phase is behind me.

I do find that with larger purchases or outlays the spending usually is followed by some self doubt on my end. I think I'm still behaving as if I'm in an accumulation phase, ie, trying to grow the assets. It's easy right now to feel flush with the markets at all time highs. But many of us here remember the feeling of seeing a 40%-50% decline in our portfolios. That memory activates the thrifty gene in me. It wasn't that long ago.

 

[Hermit]

I test drove 3 nice used vehicles a couple days ago and left the dealer thinking that I was on my way to making a purchase. But, I slept on it and my frugal gene kicked in overnight and started making excuses why I shouldn't go through with it. My mother had her hopes up as she wants my current vehicle...it has AWD and heated seats (winter climate) and her older vehicle has neither.

My advice: Take some time reviewing the overall impact of the purchase to your standard of living and whether you have enough to cover whatever happens as you age. Chances are this purchase would not move the meter one way or another. So, in that case, make your Mom happy!

 

[Music Lover]

My advice: Take some time reviewing the overall impact of the purchase to your standard of living and whether you have enough to cover whatever happens as you age. Chances are this purchase would not move the meter one way or another. So, in that case, make your Mom happy!

My future is about as solid as one can hope to get...a fed gov COLA pension. I'm sure I'll end up with a newer vehicle within the next few months....I'm "almost" there

Although my mother won't buy a newer vehicle, she would accept my car if I got a new one. But, she will never actively look for a newer vehicle because as she says: "I don't drive that much and can't justify it". But, she has a 20-year old 2 wheel drive pickup truck that is way too light in the back end and it scares the hell out of me on icy roads (winter climate)...and I'm no shrinking violet behind the wheel . The peace of mind that I would get if she had my AWD Subaru is definitely a factor...

 

[Meadbh]

My future is about as solid as one can hope to get...a fed gov COLA pension. I'm sure I'll end up with a newer vehicle within the next few months....I'm "almost" there

Although my mother won't buy a newer vehicle, she would accept my car if I got a new one. But, she will never actively look for a newer vehicle because as she says: "I don't drive that much and can't justify it". But, she has a 20-year old 2 wheel drive pickup truck that is way too light in the back end and it scares the hell out of me on icy roads (winter climate)...and I'm no shrinking violet behind the wheel . The peace of mind that I would get if she had my AWD Subaru is definitely a factor...

A Subaru AWD would make a great Mother's Day gift. Hint hint!

 

[kcowan]

My DW buys lots of stuff but I don't ever see the bills or CC.

I see her purchases on our joint CCs but I only question them to verify the charge. She buy a lot less than she used to. And much less than my first.

 

[Fedup]

My husband doesn't have a clue what I buy because I pay the credit cards. He never cares about money. I take care of everything. He said he was embarrassed when his boss asked how did he plan for his retirement. He didn't know how to answer.
He said if he didn't marry me, he would learn on his own.

 

[Danmar]

I see her purchases on our joint CCs but I only question them to verify the charge. She buy a lot less than she used to. And much less than my first.

It's her job to review the CC's so I never know what she is doing. This is a real advantage in my view. The fact that she has her own income to pay her bills is really great and a good way to set up our finances. Easy to attribute income for tax as well. The less "discussion" about personal expenses the better I think.

 

[Danmar]

My husband doesn't have a clue what I buy because I pay the credit cards. He never cares about money. I take care of everything. He said he was embarrassed when his boss asked how did he plan for his retirement. He didn't know how to answer.
He said if he didn't marry me, he would learn on his own.

Both of us are involved in our overall finances. I do the investments but discuss every trade with her beforehand. She does the CC's, telco, travel. I do insurance, house maintenance expenses, autos, main banking. The fact that we have kept her investments separate gives her a separate income source over which she has total discretion. This also gives her the ability to surprise me with gifts. Unfortunately, I can't surprise her.

 

[Dawg52]

Ditto. We have one niece between us and she didn't even send a thank you card for an expensive wedding gift we bought her. Boy, that's gonna cost her.

Ha. I have similar stories I could share concerning my niece and 2 nephews. Let's just say I'm not holding back on stuff I want to buy and plan to give more to charities along the way. If there is money left over for them..... that's fine too.

Concerning the topic, I didn't spend much my first 6 years of retirement. Some of it was because I retired at 52 and didn't want to go crazy too soon, but I also was restricted on travel and just spending in general as I was staying close to home looking after my mom and aunt. After they passed, I bought a condo on the AL coast. Sold my aunt's house and later sold my mom's house and bought a patio home on the golf course of the club I belong. That has been a great decision as I really enjoy being able to hop in my cart and go play whenever the desire hits me. Nice neighborhood too with little yard to maintain. So spending has certainly picked up the last 3 years but leveling off again.

 

[broadway]

Ditto. We have one niece between us and she didn't even send a thank you card for an expensive wedding gift we bought her. Boy, that's gonna cost her.

I didn't see this until today. I had a very good laugh.

 

[NW-Bound]

"Learning to spend after years of saving..."

After getting diagnosed with a life-threatening disease in 2013, as I was going through multiple surgeries, I thought to myself that if I was going to live I would get a newer motorhome.

Then, when the smoke cleared, I changed my mind. I thought "there's nothing wrong with my existing motorhome", and never looked for a replacement.

Did I feel desirous of something new, or constantly craving something? No. If I wanted it, and it was reasonable, I would get it. The thing is I felt satisfied with what I already had and did not care for more.

 

[kcowan]

It's her job to review the CC's so I never know what she is doing. This is a real advantage in my view. The fact that she has her own income to pay her bills is really great and a good way to set up our finances. Easy to attribute income for tax as well. The less "discussion" about personal expenses the better I think.

DW discusses most of her acquisitions with me, not for approval of the money but just because she wants to share. Whatever works!

(You are lucky to have a "trading" partner. I regularly get asked about which shoes and earrings with which outfit. Always 2 choices. Usually we agree.)

 

[Scuba]

This thread is helpful to me. With a potential launch date in 3 yrs (55-ish), I continue to run financial and mental exercises on this. As many have said, most of us on this site are wired to be "relatively" frugal and have LBYM more significantly than others which is why/how you RE early. I say relative because there are some on this site living on $25K yr and others on $250K yr in RE. None the less, I'm betting both profiles applied similar principles to get to ER. I am fortunate to make a good living and still significantly LBMMs. My DW has more vices than me that can add up, but mine tend to be larger 1 time pops (I.e. New nice cars). Over the last yr or so I have started saying WTF and DW and I have been a little more indulgent. I suppose part of my logic is I am getting some of these pricier things out of my system before I RE so I can cross them off the bucket list. As we have been used to a certain standard of living, there is much I think I don't want to give up in RE. As all my RE income will come from my investments, switching from accumulation mode to withdrawal mode is already a mental block for me (even though I know that's what it's there for). At some point, maybe 1 yr out from RE I will do a more formal test run with DW to see how we really may spend in RE. Right now my plan is to create 2 buckets... 1) basic expenses fixed and reasonable living expenses as if we were living in say the last recession again (belt tightening) and then 2) basics + trips/stuff/indulgences. I wonder sometimes if it's tougher for those who live at higher incomes/spend rates pre RE to spend at similar levels post RE? Again, I know it's all relative, but would be curious to hear from those who may fit in this box and did they continue to spend at higher burn rate in RE (say $200K+)?

We have only been retired for 6 months but so far, our total spending excluding income taxes is actually a bit higher than pre-ER. We planned for this; the higher spending is coming from travel (family visits out of state plus a 3-month retirement celebration trip to the Virgin Islands), and entertainment (more dining out, entertaining family members visiting us, retirement party at a nice restaurant with 30 friends). Our taxes should be significantly lower than pre-ER as our taxable income is much lower now. So far, we haven't had a problem spending at a higher rate than pre-ER. Because the market has done so well, our net worth is up a fair bit since ER.

 

[Van-Guard23]

We also have this same spending 'problem'. Have portfolio and assets in upper 7 figures with a healthy six figure annual dividend income. But we are spending much less than we could, as if we had a quarter of that. Haven't touched any principal, and still reinvesting most of the dividends. With no children, we have no worries about legacy, so we are looking at ways to ratchet up the enjoyment of the money. We did just buy a nice property up in Silverton, Colorado, and also planning a two week ski trip to austria next winter w/first class travel and all the trimmings. So we're making progress, but old behaviors die hard.

Been thinking about this for a while. After retiring early close to 4 years ago and DW RE'd in 2015, we still find it a challenge to splurge even though we have a healthy portfolio and our combined pensions and investment income are more than our expenses. We have increased our travel (mainly due to death in the family and for family reasons) but still find it difficult to travel first or business class from and back to HI.

Kids are grown and we aren't too concerned about leaving a huge inheritance (although it would be an inevitability) but we can't seem to justify nor rationalize paying more than double an economy fare to splurge for first class seats. We keep telling ourselves we deserve it now and we can more than afford it...but we still cringe about "overpaying" for seats and continue to "endure" less than ideal conditions in coach/economy.

We are generous when it comes to our families (i.e. flying them to HI and to Italy and paying for everything, in addition to contributing monthly for parents' living expenses) but we still feel like we "owe it to ourselves" to spend our money on us wisely. After years of saving/investing and LBYM leading to being FIRE, we find it quite difficult to switch that habit off during retirement. We are planning trips to Australia/New Zealand, Machu Picchu/Galapagos and India/Cambodia in the next couple of years so maybe we'll loosen the purse strings some and splurge on ourselves. Maybe we'll get there somehow.

 

[RobbieB]

I find it easy to splurge, I'mma gonna order up half a grand (10 lbs) of colossal king crab legs direct from Alaska next day air.

I haven't done that one yet and it's about time. Fourth of July baby! Like I need an excuse -

 

[Scuba]

I find it easy to splurge, I'mma gonna order up half a grand (10 lbs) of colossal king crab legs direct from Alaska next day air.

I haven't done that one yet and it's about time. Fourth of July baby! Like I need an excuse -

Where do you order them from? And just wondering, it's been a while since I've had them, but what didn't you like about the ones from Costco? I love king crab and have only bought from Costco or a grocery store, or had it at a restaurant.

 

[iloveyoga]

My husband doesn't have a clue what I buy because I pay the credit cards. He never cares about money. I take care of everything. He said he was embarrassed when his boss asked how did he plan for his retirement. He didn't know how to answer.
He said if he didn't marry me, he would learn on his own.

Ditto here.

 

[iloveyoga]

I like this thread and we have some of the same issues. I consider this a good problem to have and I think I am going to do some Amazon shopping right now! DH wants to go first class when we fly, so I can handle that too.

 

[retire2020]

No problem spending for me Just bought BMW 7, already have money put aside for new mini van for Dec and 40K travel budget for this year. Lots of places I can cut down if market goes south so no worries..just having good time.
I had no car for three year since DD started college--She drives 2006 Camry and wife drives 2002 Odyssey....so It's time I get a car and upgrade a 15 yrs old Odyssey!