Giving up on all things that gives me stress ...

[FreeBear]

.
* Gave up unhealthy food (This one is the toughest as I never knew how much of my social interactions with friends were around food). I go out less and interact a bit less socially as I do maybe half of the happy hours and football games at Buffalo Wild Wings. On a positive note, I started some hiking and other weekend activities with the same folks to get some healthy social time in and its slowly growing on people. My body feels so much better.

Yep. We used to go out tons, daily when w*rking, almost every other day in retirement. Recently we realized that DW and I can make food that is usually tastier and healthier, and certainly cheaper than any local restaurant. My pour-over coffee, in the comfort of my home in my PJ's, can't be beat.

We still like to eat out to get an occasional break from cooking and, especially, cleaning up. Also, during the summer we eat out tons still since we're out all and don't feel like w*rking for food. Just more fun to sit in a cafe after actively enjoying the outdoors all day.

I have always been an introvert, so the less daily interaction with most people out of my small comfort zone, the better. Being ERed has greatly achieved that.

Oh yes! It's nice to be able to avoid forced socializing, like w*rk team building (aka drinking cheap booze with strangers all night) and holiday parties with bad food and even worse music. Better yet, no interpersonal, political w*rk drama...

 

[Scuba]

We ER'd just over a year ago, and I'm still figuring out the right balance for me. I'm definitely less stressed, having no more work deadlines, difficult people, or commuting hell to deal with. In the beginning, I overscheduled my time as if I had to fill up my calendar. Then we did quite a bit of travel and now I'm hesitant to commit to many plans. I like having plans with friends as I'm a social extrovert, but I also like having down time for rest and spontaneous activities. Not sure yet if the right balance for me. DH on the other hand has settled in beautifully. He doesn't tend to schedule much, and is content to putter around at home with no plans.

 

[davismills]

This pretty much sums up my philosophy in retirement.

 

[CaptTom]

I'd totally fogotten about this song until I read this thread:

I used to tell people "I don't get job stress. I GIVE job stress."

The truth is, I started avoiding stress years before I retired. Once I made the decision not to try to claw my way any farther up the corporate ladder, life at w*rk became much less stressful. And frankly, I think I was a more valuable employee for it. I could do what needed to be done, and say what needed to be said, without worrying about the political implications.

I think a related topic, touched on in some of the posts above, is shedding responsibility to reduce stress. My parenting years were, shall we say, pretty intense. At some point I realized taking on responsibilities, especially for other people, was a problem. Letting others take responsibility for their own decisions was a starting point. But material things can also bring responsibilities, as can decisions like getting a new pet.

I still take on more than I should sometimes, but I try to make sure it's always a conscious decision. I walked away from a fairly high-level position in a volunteer organization I belong to when my term was up, took a year off, then got back into doing just the things I like doing, which is also where I can do the most good. I avoid the politics of the organization to the extent possible, which significantly lowers the stress.

 

[kcowan]

I had to master stress management during my work life. The higher I rose, the more frequent the opportunity for stress.

Being retired 15 years, I avoid most stress and use the techniques for others. The Carnegie book "How to stop worrying and start living" was my bible during working years.

Occasionally, I find myself worrying unnecessarily, like when my oldest son was diagnosed with testicular cancer last year. But then I swat myself on the side of the head and straighten up.

 

[Which Roger]

When working, stress from the workplace overshadows most other sources of stress. When workplace stress goes away, other things bubble to the top; things I rarely noticed when working.

 

[Lsbcal]

I have been retired for two years now and I have realized that I have given up (or trying very hard) on things that gives me stress. It includes things like following any sport team, staying away from family members who only call when they are in trouble, avoiding to go out during traffic ours, ... Instead, I pick activities, hobbies and interests which won't bring stress. Did this change happen to you soon after ER? Care to share?

Yes, I now avoid a lot of competitive stuff. Like you mentioned, watching a game and rooting for one side. It can ruin your day. I used to run with a local club but now just run in the hills and don't worry about my run times. Sometimes I just stop and watch a bird or deer.

Some activities I now do:

reading the comics
fiction novels where the bad guy gets his just deserts
astronomy for when I really want to get out of Dodge
modestly serious about watercolor sketching
gardening, getting dirty and using my pick occasionally for a good workout
running in the park and moderate gym workouts

Most of my news is from reading because I can much more easily control what I want and ignore the rest.

 

[brett]

My largest stress reduction since retiring.......no more stressful quarter ends dealing with profit, revenue, and sales targets vs actuals and stretch goals to boot. And watching for every HQ journal entry, unanticipated expense accrual or some obscure FAB 30 audit call that prevented the recognition of some revenue or sales recognition.

 

[NW-Bound]

"Giving up on all things that gives me stress ..."

What stress? Let's hope the market will not crash like it did in 2008. That would cause some stress, although more for the younger ERs or ER-to-be's.

Else, it's like this French song "Il est libre, Max" ("He is free, Max").

Il Est Libre, Max / He Is Free, Max

Il met de la magie mine de rien dans tout ce qu'il fait / He puts magic in everything that he does
Il a le sourire facile, même pour les imbéciles / He has the easy smile, same as sported by fools
Il s'amuse bien, il tombe jamais dans les pièges / He plays well, he never falls into traps
Il se laisse pas étourdir par les néons des manèges / He does not get dazed by neon signs of carousels
Il vit sa vie sans s'occuper des grimaces / He lives his life without the frowning
Que font autour de lui les poissons dans la nasse / Of those around him, those fish caught in a net

Refrain
Il est libre Max / He is free Max
Il est libre Max / He is free Max
Y'en a même qui disent qu'ils l'ont vu voler / There are people who even say they saw him fly

Il travaille un petit peu quand son corps est d'accord / He works a little when his body agrees to it
Pour lui faut pas s'en faire, il sait doser son effort / For he does not push hard, he paces himself
Dans le panier de crabes, il joue pas les homards / In a basket of crabs, he does not pretend to be a lobster
Il cherche pas à tout prix à faire des bulles dans la mare / He does not stir up trouble at all cost

Refrain

Il regarde autour de lui avec les yeux de l'amour / He looks around him with eyes of love
Avant que t'aies rien pu dire, il t'aime déjà au départ / Before you can say something, he already loves you
Il fait pas de bruit, il joue pas du tambour/ He raises no ruckus, he does not beat on a drum
Mais la statue de marbre lui sourit dans la cour / But the marble statue in the court smiles at him

Refrain

Et bien sûr toutes les filles lui font leurs yeux de velours / And there are surely girls who had velvet eyes for him
Lui pour leur faire plaisir il leur raconte des histoires / To please them, he tells them stories
Il les emmène par-delà les labours / He takes them beyond the plowed field
Chevaucher les licornes à la tombée du soir / Riding unicorns until dusk

Refrain

Comme il a pas d'argent pour faire le grand voyageur / Because he has no money to be a great traveler
Il va parler souvent aux habitants de son coeur / He talks often to people in his heart
Qu'est-ce qu'ils se racontent, c'est ça qu'il faudrait savoir / What they tell him is what he needs to know
Pour avoir comme lui autant d'amour dans le regard / To have as much love as he does

Refrain​

 

[robnplunder]

Occasionally, I find myself worrying unnecessarily, like when my oldest son was diagnosed with testicular cancer last year. But then I swat myself on the side of the head and straighten up.

I do that all too often. I am trying harder to stop worrying about or try to fix things I have no control over. E.g, my onset of my mom's dementia, high blood pressure, type 2 diabetes - I realize there is very little I can do, given her lifestyle and personality.

 

[Walt34]

I gave up watching televised news...all of it, any channel. I don't care if someone did something to someone else or that some politician got caught stealing of doing something immoral.

No Facebook....period!

Same here, great minds think alike!

The only TV I see is at the gym and they have the sound off and closed captioning on and that's plenty of exposure for me. About once a week or so DW will want to show me something on FB but that's about it. I do get the local daily newspaper but I find that relaxing, not stressful.

 

[John Galt III]

AT some point in my w*rk days, the stress got so ridiculous that I made a conscious decision to refuse it (the stress, not the work). I felt as though I would be punished for 'not caring', but it's what I had to do in order not to not have a meltdown of some sort. It worked. No meltdown and kept my job too! Now that I'm retired, my stress is never (knock on wood) as bad as the w*rking years, but it does show up now and then due to outside forces intruding, such as a commercial property next door, or an insurance company not honoring my parents' long term care contract, etc.

 

[HFWR]

This pretty much sums up my philosophy in retirement.

 

[gayl]

Ditto here!!

• stopped communicating with a train wreck sister & brother. still in close contact with 2 other sisters
• used to trade a lot like 300+ a year but barely at all this year
• only volunteer at activities that I find pleasurable or fun and I refuse to get suckered into doing more than I find worthwhile
• drive non commute times
• leave the room when political conversations get tense

Replacing with:

• 2.5-3 mile walk per day
• daily coffee with friends
• travel
• learning new hobbies

 

[target2019]

After two layoffs in 2014/2015, I had 6-month breaks where I took long walks, juggled home projects, and counted the pennies in my piggie bank. BP came down quite a bit.

Going back to a job, with two commutes each day, eventually BP went up again. Back to 2 meds.

I stay away from all things political. Take a walk through the beautiful environment where I work.

Also, don't sweat the appointments that may pile up. Healthcare appointments seem to carry a lot of stress. For some reason, even the simplest prescription or examination is made more difficult each time.

 

[HGTVfan]

I've disconnected Dish after 17 years of being a customer. If I have it, I watch CNN/Fox and other news which can stress me. I thought this was a bit extreme as I have very little clue what is going on out there. People'd mention some recent events and DW and I often go "huh?" I am almost tuned out from the reality in that sense.

Same here. I cut cable back to basic two years ago and I'm so glad. If I had CNN I'd watch it. This summer I signed up for a trial sub of PlayStation Vue in order to get the Tour de France (NBCsn) but I cancelled after a week because all the extra channels, CNN, Fox, MSNBC and others were too tempting and gave me stress.

 

[HGTVfan]

Oh and despite my screen name, I've given up HGTV, too. I don't need the latest, greatest home decor to be happy.

 

[Amethyst]

I stopped reading newspaper article comments. Just like that, one day, I said, "These people are horrible! No more!"

 

[REWahoo]

I stopped reading newspaper article comments. Just like that, one day, I said, "These people are horrible! No more!"

+1

Not only newspaper comments, the comments section of most websites is often something resembling one of Dante's rings of hell. I just don't go there.

 

[HadEnuff]

funny you mention sports. I have long been a big sports fan. At some point, about 20 or 30 years ago I realized that I enjoy the post-season of baseball and football MORE when "my" teams aren't involved. Since I am a Cincinnati Reds and Bengals fan, this hasn't been an issue for me in quite some time.
Now, if I could get the Ohio State Buckeyes football team to consistently suck the way my pro teams do, I'd be completely stress free. Apparently the basketball team is already there.
So I have that going for me....

 

[athena53]

When working, stress from the workplace overshadows most other sources of stress. When workplace stress goes away, other things bubble to the top; things I rarely noticed when working.

I've found this to be true. It's almost as if our minds need to grab onto something and worry. I sent off my applications for visas for a trip to India and Nepal last week. Last night I had vivid dreams that I was in my former employer's office in India (which I visited multiple times) and I realized I hadn't set up meetings with the right people, didn't have any place to sit, didn't know what I was supposed to be doing there, etc.

Well, at least it wasn't one of those dreams where you go to work in your underwear.

 

[Amethyst]

Seriously, they mostly seem to be places where the miserable congregate to attack and degrade anyone with a good attitude. In that way, it reminds me more of junior high.

+1

Not only newspaper comments, the comments section of most websites is often something resembling one of Dante's rings of hell. I just don't go there.

 

[Lsbcal]

I've found this to be true. It's almost as if our minds need to grab onto something and worry. I sent off my applications for visas for a trip to India and Nepal last week. Last night I had vivid dreams that I was in my former employer's office in India (which I visited multiple times) and I realized I hadn't set up meetings with the right people, didn't have any place to sit, didn't know what I was supposed to be doing there, etc.

Well, at least it wasn't one of those dreams where you go to work in your underwear.

Some shows and news stories get me thinking about the work environment. The worst nowadays is when I start to ponder how I might work and survive in such work places. That can trigger work dreams like going to work and not being able to find my desk and feeling like everyone else is engaged while I am clueless.

 

[Amethyst]

Oh, what a nightmare!

I haven't had dreams about my actual workplace, but I dreamed last night that I was interviewing to be a cook on a pirate ship. I was talking to another applicant, who was just a shadowy shape in the dream, and we were wondering how we could be so desperate as to want the job.

I've found this to be true. It's almost as if our minds need to grab onto something and worry. I sent off my applications for visas for a trip to India and Nepal last week. Last night I had vivid dreams that I was in my former employer's office in India (which I visited multiple times) and I realized I hadn't set up meetings with the right people, didn't have any place to sit, didn't know what I was supposed to be doing there, etc.

Well, at least it wasn't one of those dreams where you go to work in your underwear.

 

[Badger]

Haven't bought a newspaper in years and don't watch news on TV unless I walk through the room while my wife is watching. Too much fluff. I get almost as much news on the news commercials. We have less tolerance for crowds so we do our shopping during off hours while the people supporting our SS are working.

I enjoy riding (both bicycles and motorcycles), reading and recording for the visually impaired at the local PBS, and ceramic arts (throwing on a wheel) to help avoid stress.

We are also getting away for a week on a cruise leaving a port nearby. We don't care so much for the cruise line but they have a spa area on a limited/restricted availability that includes a couple of steam rooms, heated lounge area, thallasotherapy pool, etc. I will be bringing a couple of books and plan on staying on board the ship the entire time while the crowds are getting burned and pickled at the ports.

That should keep the stress down.

Cheers!