Giving/gifting to someone that doesn't need it?

[street]

Some great ideas, and thanks! I have handmade items and have given and that seems to work pretty well.
I think there will be a time to stop the gift thing and do something else. With kids it is a little different and don't want to ruin a Christmas Season being a scrooge.

 

[Zathras]

Donate to a charity in the name of the intended recipient?

+1000!

Making a donation to a charity important to the gift recipient is far more touching, in my opinion, than any material gift.
The best birthday gift I have ever received, was when my wife surprised me by asking my friends to help.
They each took steps to lower their carbon footprint and shared the story of what changes they had made with me.
Many of those changes have become permanent.

Either, for me, is incredibly touching and meaningful.

 

[athena53]

My family stopped gift-giving among adults years ago. A few well-meaning people who married into the family felt that they HAD to get Mom and Dad something for Christmas. Sometimes it was a bigger TV; a KitchenAid mixer for Mom, a fancier computer for Dad. I was asked to contribute for the big items and did so, but typically DH and I made a donation of an animal for a person in a developing country from heifer.org. We'd explain that we bought them a llama but someone else would take care of it! Sometimes the siblings just fell back on gift cards. Mom and Dad really didn't need or want anything. They're both gone now and I have a lovely cashmere sweater that I suspect someone bought Dad and a Champion jacket I suspect was a gift for Mom.

With my grandchildren, who get plenty of Disney-themed stuff and noisy electronic toys from the other side of the family, I focus more on experiences throughout the year and contributions to their 529 plans.

 

[MarieIG]

An experience - with them.

Take them to a museum, for a hike to a lake, go fishing, horseback riding, paddle boat, take a canoe down a little river, and then all go out to eat together.

In other words, a fun experience. Make some memories.

 

[MC Rider]

Gonna bake an apple pie from Grandmas recipe to take to Dad's house for Christmas.
That way we get some too.

 

[jollystomper]

For my married nieces and nephews, this year, we gift them a "dinner and a movie" experience - gifts cards for a nearby restaurant and a nearby movie theater. It is our way of "taking them out" since they are so scattered it is tough for us to see them other than at family gatherings. and to encourage their continued "dating" each other after marriage.

It is inexpensive, and the day will come when we will not be able to gift to them... so we do it while we can. They have appreciated the sentiment.

 

[RobbieB]

We got into the habit of consumables a couple decades ago. House is full of stuff and stuff you really want nobody can get. Yeah they might get it but it's wrong. Not the one you wanted for what purpose you wanted it for.

So, that began the new (and still going) tradition of caviar, crab and lobster, wagyu and truffles. Not so much wagyu now as it gets dark early and it's cold and rainy too. Eat drink & be merry!

 

[Keim]

Honestly, i like cash. The color looks great on me, it always fits, and I can wear it anywhere, any season.

 

[Marita40]

Give what you'd like yourself. I'm at the point, like many of us, where anything I really want I could buy myself. But getting a little luxury as a gift like a gift food basket, nice bottle of wine, fancy soaps, etc are certainly nice. Things I don't normally buy myself.

I re-gift if it is something I can't use or don't want. No qualms about that at all.

 

[Amethyst]

We would adore that homemade limoncello.

This just reminded me - I make a killer fruitcake, using only real dried fruit, soaked with brandy (Courvoisier, if you must know). It's expensive and a lot of trouble to make. While some people don't care for fruitcake, those who do, are very, very happy to get a wedge of mine.

Just another idea, an extravagant one to be sure: I keep getting FB ads for the most incredible-looking, artistic artisan chocolate truffles, which look as if made by Tiffany (the one who made those lamps).

The candies themselves are expensive enough, and the company insists on using one to 2-day air shipping, which, in warmer months (or Florida) can cost as much as the goods themselves. But I cannot imagine even a billionaire being totally unimpressed with the beautiful presentation. *

something consumable - alcohol if they are drinkers, or a food item if not. Even better if it's something homemade that they can't just go out and buy themselves.
... So each year we give him a bottle of our homemade limoncello. He loves it and it's something he can't get anywhere else.

*Granted, I don't know any billionaires.

 

[Act2]

I give toy gifts to young kids; young adults get a check. Siblings my age and friends and coworkers get a very small sweet treat (so they know they don’t have to reciprocate). At this point, there are no family members older than me, but fresh cut flowers were a favorite gift to give my Mom and chocolates for my Dad in past years. We all have too much stuff so I’m not trying to add material goods to anyone’s home.

 

[Marita40]

We siblings once got my elderly mom a "flower bouquet of the month" subscription and she absolutely loved it.

I give my young adult nieces and nephews cash. I know at that age I appreciated that gift!

 

[disneysteve]

We would adore that homemade limoncello.

If you're ever in south Jersey, let me know.

 

[ShokWaveRider]

DW & I do not gift each other. We have and buy whatever we want whenever we want it. I buy her a nice bunch of Roses/Flowers on her Birthday and our Anniversary, but that is the extent of it.

We do not have family locally, so we usually spend the season on our own, as we always have done for the last 30 years or so.

We do get close friends small tokens like a bottle of wine or DW buys something that she noticed her friends(s) lusting over during their joint shopping trips.

I have received so many pointless gifts during pre-retirement years that I have just discarded or regifted to charity, it is a shame. I cannot remember ever getting a gift that I really wanted. DW learned that very early in our 35 year relationship.

As mentioned above in some posts a gift card and/or a Bottle of nice wine is probably the best gift for anyone.

Young children are different as they really enjoy opening gifts. My comments do not apply to them.

In reality gift giving for the most part only really benefits the vendors that sold them, unless one really knows what someone else needs and wants. Of course, those with close families know these things, and can limit the waste by gifting things that they really want or need and that are not going to get discarded, regifted or returned.

 

[athena53]

In reality gift giving for the most part only really benefits the vendors that sold them, unless one really knows what someone else needs and wants. Of course, those with close families know these things, and can limit the waste by gifting things that they really want or need and that are not going to get discarded, regifted or returned.

I agree- I've seen some studies on waste in holiday giving- how people valued the gifts they got vs. the actual cost. As I noted earlier, some of the things may parents got were things they didn't need (upgrades to electronics that were working just fine) or clothes they never or rarely wore.

One writer recommended buying people something that they'd use but that was more luxurious than they'd buy for themselves- cashmere socks were an example. I liked that idea but I suppose it could backfire if they never wore/used/consumed it because they were saving it for some special occasion. One manager I had gave us all small boxes of Christopher Elbow chocolates one year- maybe 9 pieces. I really liked that- I'm careful about what I eat but a couple of pieces of chocolate every day over a few days weren't going to do much harm. They were delicious.

 

[CRLLS]

At our extended family Christmas, we have drawn names, so each person buys one gift. It has turned into mostly exchanging gift cards. Not much thought in that. At this years' get together we decided to stop that and next year, just pool our money. Each person will put the name of their favorite charity in a hat, and we will pull 2 or 3 names, split the pot and send that amount off to the charity.

For our immediate family, we draw names and have to make a thoughtful gift for the person drawn. That has been difficult but fun as we cannot ask the recipient what they would like made. This year I am making a knotted throw pillow for my homemade gift. I don't sew but I have an expert (can I use that word?) to direct me.

In both groups, the children all get gifts until they graduate high school. After that, they are in the hat for gifting/making.

 

[HarveyS]

How about making a snappish (or other) photo book of a trip you took together.

 

[Winemaker]

We give our son and his wife some cash; they are expected to put it in their 3 kids' 529 plan. Then they get the PA state income tax deduction. We also give the kids and grandkids a few things to open.

 

[Scuba]

I think a gift of experiences you can enjoy together is a win-win gift. Also something you make for them, especially something sentimental. My best friend of 25 years made me a photo book last year that had photos going back to the beginning of our friendship. I love it! Best gift ever.

 

[daylatedollarshort]

We just ask each other for lists. I could do without exchanging gifts but I think our adult kids still enjoy it. I try to give and ask for consumables, experiences or small gifts that don't take up a lot of space, like jewelry, wine, chocolates, event tickets, gift cards, fancy soaps, scarves, fun socks and candles.

Plus we usually host and cover all the nice restaurant meals out, happy hours, entertainment etc. for the family holiday events.

 

[NW-Bound]

We no longer give habitual gifts to our grown children since they turned adult. We just don't know what to get them.

Occasionally, we may spot something that we think they can use. For example, a few days ago, we happened to see some nice baking trays, bought three sets for ourselves and for them too. And my wife spotted a playhouse for cats, and as my son and daughter are both cat owners, bought them for our "grandcats" (my daughter's word).

We gave the gifts at our family dinner yesterday, and they were happy to receive them. It's just what they happened to be able to use and not something expensive. The gifts were not meant to be Christmas gifts, and just something we happened to run across.

For our younger nephews and nieces still in college, we give them $100 each semester when their parents say they get good grades.

 

[jollystomper]

For my last Christmas at Megacorp, my manager sent all of his direct reports a Fruit Company gift tower. We thought this was a great gift, particularly if one likes a lot of boxes under the tree, and the fruit and snacks were very good. We have given this at times to people and it has always been appreciated.

Since the pandemic these seem to have grown in popularity. Before the pandemic they were still in stock 4-5 days before Christmas, now they seem to sell out by the first week of December.

Another option, if thew person does need anything but is a sports enthusiast, is some sports merchandise for their favorite team.

 

[Buckeye]

Here we are in the "Giving Season" and how do you give/gift to people that have everything or can buy anything they want?

My son and his wife have been blessed with great careers with large incomes. Of course, they don't skimp and can buy whatever they need.

I'm very proud of their success in life but when it comes to giving them something for a gift, it is impossible to get something they don't have or can buy themselves.

Giving them money is fine but they don't need more money either.

So, what do you folks do for someone that has everything?

We have found the Google photo books to be good gifts. I imagine Apple has something like it. Very easy to do from Google photos. The whole cycle from launching an order to the recipient getting it seems to take about 10 days. A unique gift with a personal touch. We have a friend who no longer lives near us who loves our kitty so I made him a book of just kitty pictures. He loved it.

 

[Amethyst]

That attitude does not garner you a wedge of my Courvoisier-soaked fruitcake. No worries; others are glad to get it.

Store-bought fruitcakes, made with "candied fruit," aren't very good; how could they be, really? Just like those butter cookies in the tin which look pretty, but all taste alike - awful.

Homemade is a whole different story.

I never knew anyone who ATE a fruitcake (or admitted it)! LOL

 

[Luvtoride]

That attitude does not garner you a wedge of my Courvoisier-soaked fruitcake. No worries; others are glad to get it.

Store-bought fruitcakes, made with "candied fruit," aren't very good; how could they be, really? Just like those butter cookies in the tin which look pretty, but all taste alike - awful.

Homemade is a whole different story.

I guess I've never had the REAL THING, a homemade liquor infused fruit cake. Sounds much better!

How many do you make for the holidays?
Happy Holidays!