Giving/gifting to someone that doesn't need it?

[street]

Here we are in the "Giving Season" and how do you give/gift to people that have everything or can buy anything they want?

My son and his wife have been blessed with great careers with large incomes. Of course, they don't skimp and can buy whatever they need.

I'm very proud of their success in life but when it comes to giving them something for a gift, it is impossible to get something they don't have or can buy themselves.

Giving them money is fine but they don't need more money either.

So, what do you folks do for someone that has everything?

 

[njhowie]

Get them a gift certificate for a nice restaurant near where they live. It doesn't have to be a chain, but a specialty/independent/locally owned place. Most restaurants, even smaller local operations now offer gift certificates right off their own websites.

 

[Dash man]

A bottle of wine is always nice if they drink, or a nice liqueur. They probably don’t need or want any “stuff.”

 

[Aerides]

Flowers/plants (that you know they like)
A gourmet food basket from a local food shop they prefer
Stuff for their pet(s)
Gift card to their favorite restaurant
Stuff that is adjacent to their hobbies
And with family that close, just ask

besides that, listen to hints throughout the year. Stuff they are planning, places they are going, etc.

 

[Sojourner]

A bottle of wine is always nice if they drink, or a nice liqueur. They probably don’t need or want any “stuff.”

+1

My go-to gift for wealthy, "spendy" family and friends is a nice bottle (or two) of wine. I feel like they genuinely appreciate this, since I'm known as something of a wine connoisseur by those closest to me.

 

[street]

^^ some great ideas. The gift cards are one thing we do, but again year after year it would be nice to change somewhat. Lol Gift Card might be one of usefulness and appreciated the most.

I guess it isn't what they receive but the meaning of receiving a gift.

 

[Luvtoride]

Street, we have wrestled with this question for years with our grown kids not just from a "can they afford it" standpoint but from a USEFUL/APPRECIATED basis. What we have settled on is buying them something for their HOME that they might want/ need but haven't yet purchased/ installed.

A couple of examples. Last year, we bought our older daughter and son-in-law a new TV for their bedroom, arranging installation/ mounting on the wall (wires hid in wall, electric run as needed, etc.).
Younger daughter and husband we bought them a new dishwasher with installation and haul away of old one.
Although they could have bought these things for themselves, it was appreciated that we arranged for the delivery and installation of these things for their home that will bring them enjoyment (ok, maybe we don't ENJOY a dishwasher) and usefulness for years to come.
I agree that giving grown kids money is not a good way to gift for the holidays.

 

[H2ODude]

We've told our kids to pretty much don't worry about us, we have anything we want or need already. DD has 4 kids that we'll be visiting at Christmas, we sent her $X per person and let her integrate the purchasing for the kids with her purchasing, and designate our gifts. Sending lists never made sense to me; if we bought x what would she know to buy of the list unless we picked and told her? Now there's no shipping from here to there, she just buys if for us and we wrap when we get there. A little more work for her but she very much agrees.

 

[Car-Guy]

I stopped gifting "for the most part" a few years ago, except to my DD... Friends and family don't need anything and I've been disillusioned by many charitable organizations so I'm extremely selective... Still send Christmas cards

 

[Amethyst]

If you have a skill or talent, you can make them something, or offer to do a useful service. I am talking about something that many people might be willing to pay for.

I have made jewelry and original needlework for a few people whom I knew would appreciate it. I knew someone who made a quilt for a family's dog. The family and dog loved it.

 

[disneysteve]

Either an experience (tickets to an event, an annual membership to a museum or theater, etc.) or something consumable - alcohol if they are drinkers, or a food item if not. Even better if it's something homemade that they can't just go out and buy themselves. Or maybe something from a favorite shop of yours that isn't local but does mail order.



We are fairly friendly with a guy who owns two liquor stores. It would be stupid for us to buy him a bottle of something as he has easy access to anything he wants. So each year we give him a bottle of our homemade limoncello. He loves it and it's something he can't get anywhere else.

 

[JRon]

Give the gift of time if it makes sense. We ask for nothing but the gift of their time from our kids - just a lunch or a couple of beers. We give that in return by providing free babysitting while they use the restaurant gift certificate we gave them. Last year we rented a cabin that we all stayed at together.

 

[timbervest]

Creative consumables (food, wine, other things that are quickly "used up" and don't take up space). Extra airline miles if you have them.

 

[Mark1]

Maybe give them something that they know is very important to you and has value to you. Maybe something made of porcupine hair?

 

[pacergal]

Gifts of time and togetherness are most appreciated in our family. some of my most memorable gifts have been to dinner theater shows or dinner and a concert after, or just a nice dinner that we don't have to cook and clean up!

Handmade gifts are always thoughtful in my book.

Pots/dirt/seeds or bulbs

Certificate for home delivery of something they might like, such as meals?

Nice coffee table book on history, architecture, or land/town where they live.

 

[travelover]

You can never go wrong with fruitcake.

 

[Luvtoride]

You can never go wrong with fruitcake.

I never knew anyone who ATE a fruitcake (or admitted it)! LOL

 

[Out-to-Lunch]

Donate to a charity in the name of the intended recipient?

 

[aja8888]

I never knew anyone who ATE a fruitcake (or admitted it)! LOL

You don't eat it...you re-gift it!

 

[EastWest Gal]

I never knew anyone who ATE a fruitcake (or admitted it)! LOL

In my teen years, I made a brandied fruitcake (my mom bought the brandy). It was enjoyed by all.

 

[Jerry1]

I sent my daughters a note asking them to donate to a charity (two given) that I support. I also recognized that people like to give gifts. Thankfully, I'm a golfer and unfortunately, I always "consume" golf balls. So asked for some Pro V's. The point was consumables are a good gift if you can figure something like that out.

I get my dad a nice gift box from Costco - edibles. Him and his wife seem to appreciate that. I'm thinking of telling my one daughter who travels that I'll pay for a tour or a room upgrade or something to enhance their next trip. Not a great physical gift, but I think they would appreciate it. Bottom line is that it's hard and hopefully the family has a general agreement about how to handle it.

Another thing I do is give when the giving is good. There were a few times when I really thought of something great, so I went ahead and got it. They may not get something for the next couple years because, those things are hard to come by, but when they come, I jump on them.

 

[brett]

I stopped with the gift business 10 years ago.

I asked my son and daughter not to buy anything for me. Instead, make a donation to the local food bank in my name. Have extended to include all gift giving occasions...Christmas, birthdays, father's day. Now it is simply a token gift. A bottle of plonk, a jar of licorice.

Works for them. Works for me. Works for the food bank.

 

[Souschef]

I never knew anyone who ATE a fruitcake (or admitted it)! LOL

IMO, the Collins Street Bakery in TX has the only edible fruitcake. The rest are doorstops.

 

[travelover]

............I get my dad a nice gift box from Costco - edibles. ...........

I'm not sure edibles are legal in all states. They are here in WA & OR.

 

[Aerides]

In 2008, I talked my immediate family into reorganizing the gift giving. We've always done a couple of stocking stuffers - white elephant joke and low cost stuff - and then regular gifts from/to everyone.

We decided to limit the stuffers to one per person (So, for example, I get one for mom, dad, sister, etc.). And then for the "main" gifts we rotate. This year I have my BIL, DH has my Mom. That's it. So next year we'll have Dad and Sis. There are 6 adults in this rotation as we all live locally. The chart on who-has-who is on our shared google in case anyone forgets.

We still spoil the kids (my neice and nephew) as normal, so they didn't get the short end.

It was prompted by the recession that was starting back then, but mainly to reduce having to think of so many gifts for so many people. It's hard! And in my case... DH, Mom and Dad ALL 3 have December b-days. So enough already.