A few folks have expressed the thought that it's cheaper to stay in your home than move to a LTC facility. That has certainly not been the case for my parents. Beginning at age 94, my dad needed 24/7 skilled nursing care following a stroke, in order to remain at home. He lived for 8 more months and died at home. He got great care, but his home care was probably more important for my mom than my dad.
Unfortunately, my mom began developing obvious signs of dementia within months of my dad's death. I had hoped to convince my mom to move to an upscale CCRC nearby where a friend had moved years before. But once my mom's dementia began, she wouldn't have been accepted at the facility anymore.
Mom wouldn't allow any hired help in her home until she fell and fractured her pelvis and a wrist. That was about 18 months after her dementia began. Those 18 months were hellish for me, due to her "sundowning". After rehab and regaining the ability to walk, she returned home with 24/7 care. That was 5 years ago. Mom is now 100 years old. A little over a year ago, she broke her hip. She went downhill after that and was accepted for home hospice care. BTW, a nurse came to evaluate my mom and her surroundings, in order to make a decision as to whether or not she was eligible for home hospice. We spoke outside (due to Covid) afterward and she said that my mom was getting excellent care, and added "You've be running a nursing home for the past 4 years." I hadn't thought about it in those terms before, but I realized she was correct.
The upshot is that this sort of home care is not cheap, esp. for quality caregivers. Between my dad's 8 months of skilled nursing care, and my mom's 5+ years of 24/7 caregivers (but not skilled nursing), the total cost for the nurses and caregivers has now exceeded $900,000. That figure does not include all of the other household expenses such as property tax, utility bills, insurance, grass cutting, medical supplies, & food. The funds my parents accumulated in their decades of retirement thanks to a generous COLA'd pension and decreasing expenditures as they aged, is now flowing the other way. Given my mom's age and frailty, I think the remaining funds will outlive her. Probably.
I live 10 minutes away. I buy her food, prepare dinners to put in her freezer, do yard work other than mowing the lawn, shovel snow, pay and prepare the tax documents for the caregivers, do my mom's taxes, arrange for doctor's appointments and took her to them before Covid. There have been HVAC, electrical, & plumbing issues, which I have to resolve. I had to replace several appliances. It's been one thing after another.
After 6 months of home hospice care, mom was "discharged" per Medicare rules last summer because she had improved somewhat and had supposedly gained a little weight. Hospice was very helpful, because if there were any medical issues, the caregivers & I had a 24/7 phone number to call to speak with a nurse, and there occasionally were issues. Also, hospice purchased items like my mom's diapers, mattress pads, and gloves for the caregivers. Now I have to provide all of that again. When they sprung the discharge on me, I had to hurry and find a wheelchair to replace the one hospice was taking away. The hospital bed remained, because I had obtained that myself prior to hospice care.
I know that my mom wouldn't want to live like this, and I recall a remark she made about her own mother's sad final years. But I honestly don't think I could live with myself if I shipped her off to a nursing home now. BTW, I have one sibling who also lives near mom. We are not on speaking terms anymore because he and his wife have refused to help in any way whatsoever.