43, failed early retiree, seeking non-financial advice

[Jkirk]

I retired from the military in 2020 at age 42 when my pension reached the point of supporting our lifestyle. We also have enough in savings and retirement accounts to provide a nice safety net and lifestyle upgrade when our youngest kids are grown and my wife and I are 55. Kids’ college is also funded.

I lasted 3 months in retirement, got terribly bored (depressed if I’m being honest) and went back to work. I have a dilemma. I need the challenges, structure, and team environment that work offers, but my tolerance for BS is extremely low now that I don’t need the money that a job brings.

A year in to that first post-retirement job, I grew tired of things and changed jobs. Now almost a year into my second post-retirement job, I’m growing tired of things and thinking about quitting. Seeing a pattern, I’ve found the problem and he is me.

I planned for early retirement for 20 years and found that it wasn’t all that I imagined it would be. Anyone else experience something like this?

 

[silvor]

I’m there now. I am 51, I could retire, but not sure as my job is low stress and decent pay. I would suggest trying to find something similar. How about self employment? Take the jobs you want?

 

[RobbieB]

Yeah, you have lot's of company for sure. Not me though. But, you'll get lots of help here.

 

[street]

No, I haven't experienced your experience, but I was one that most would have said retirement would not have worked for me.

It has worked well for me and at times it does surprise me that I have adapted to retirement very nicely. When I have second guessed my decision early on in retirement all I had to do was think of the time, I might have left here on earth.

 

[rodi]

I was a little worried I'd need structure so I took classes at the community college to give me some structure, goals, etc. Things I hadn't had time to take when working on getting a degree, just stuff that interested me... Italian, accounting, history... After a few semesters I didn't feel I needed the structure anymore. But it was a good transition.

 

[martyp]

Try volunteer work.

 

[pb4uski]

I retired from the military in 2020 at age 42 when my pension reached the point of supporting our lifestyle. We also have enough in savings and retirement accounts to provide a nice safety net and lifestyle upgrade when our youngest kids are grown and my wife and I are 55. Kids’ college is also funded.

I lasted 3 months in retirement, got terribly bored (depressed if I’m being honest) and went back to work. I have a dilemma. I need the challenges, structure, and team environment that work offers, but my tolerance for BS is extremely low now that I don’t need the money that a job brings.

A year in to that first post-retirement job, I grew tired of things and changed jobs. Now almost a year into my second post-retirement job, I’m growing tired of things and thinking about quitting. Seeing a pattern, I’ve found the problem and he is me.

I planned for early retirement for 20 years and found that it wasn’t all that I imagined it would be. Anyone else experience something like this?

I actually found that working while being FI was very liberating. Since I didn't NEED the job, I had the liberty of saying what everyone on our team was thinking and that the powers that be didn't really want to hear. Of course, I still needed to be diplomatic about it, but I could venture where others couldn't. And funny thing, my superiors and our clients ate it up and appreciated the candor.

Another thing that you might try is working part-time. I was 50% part time (the minimum needed to get employer subsidized health insurance coverage) and really enjoyed the free time that I had.

 

[RobbieB]

Yeah, do what you want to do. Don't like your job? Walk out the door.

There's another one just down the street.

Lot's of companies have bosses that think you need this job, like I do

But you don't, so do what you like. Eventually you'll find a fit -

 

[homestead]

As others have said start your own business then you can work as little or as much as you want doing what you like.
Just don't get too successful or it will become a burden.
Good Luck!

 

[Out-to-Lunch]

Welcome!

 

[livingalmostlarge]

find a job or start business you like. DH won't retire because he loves what he does. I asked what if we really have a ton of money? said what the hell will he do? So to work he goes. Guess he just likes it.

 

[Dtail]

Are there hobbies you would like to spend time on, in which you haven't had time to do?

 

[Jkirk]

I’m there now. I am 51, I could retire, but not sure as my job is low stress and decent pay. I would suggest trying to find something similar. How about self employment? Take the jobs you want?

The job I’m doing now is fairly low stress and the money is good, I think that’s why I have a hard time leaving. I’ve thought about the self employed option. My wife has a small business. She likes the work part of that business, but isn’t too interested in the management/financial side. I do have the option of running the business side of it for her. Thanks!

 

[Jkirk]

No, I haven't experienced your experience, but I was one that most would have said retirement would not have worked for me.

It has worked well for me and at times it does surprise me that I have adapted to retirement very nicely. When I have second guessed my decision early on in retirement all I had to do was think of the time, I might have left here on earth.

Maybe I just need to try out retirement again. I went from a pretty high stress job to nothing, it was too abrupt of a change for me. These last two jobs have been much less stressful and less personal than my career was. Maybe it would work this time.

 

[Jkirk]

I was a little worried I'd need structure so I took classes at the community college to give me some structure, goals, etc. Things I hadn't had time to take when working on getting a degree, just stuff that interested me... Italian, accounting, history... After a few semesters I didn't feel I needed the structure anymore. But it was a good transition.

I’ve been thinking about going back to school for something fun too. I even have college benefits left from my time in the military so it would be free. Thanks!

 

[Jkirk]

I actually found that working while being FI was very liberating. Since I didn't NEED the job, I had the liberty of saying what everyone on our team was thinking and that the powers that be didn't really want to hear. Of course, I still needed to be diplomatic about it, but I could venture where others couldn't. And funny thing, my superiors and our clients ate it up and appreciated the candor.

Another thing that you might try is working part-time. I was 50% part time (the minimum needed to get employer subsidized health insurance coverage) and really enjoyed the free time that I had.

Funny, I’m that person too. The lead on the team I work with is a bit of a bully and most people don’t disagree with him when he’s wrong. I have no issues doing that! I say what I think needs to be heard and if they don’t like that I’d be happy to leave. Like with you, it’s appreciated and I get dragged into so many efforts because of it. I do like that about working post FI.

Regarding part time, not sure I could do that in my current job, but I’ve thought about doing something new as a part time job. I’ve mostly considered being a substitute teacher to give me something to do. I don’t need the health care and the pay for subs where I live is a joke, but it would make me feel useful.

 

[Jkirk]

Yeah, do what you want to do. Don't like your job? Walk out the door.

There's another one just down the street.

Lot's of companies have bosses that think you need this job, like I do

But you don't, so do what you like. Eventually you'll find a fit -

Thanks! After retiring, I didn’t even seek out the two jobs I’ve had, they found me. I tell myself that if I try out retirement again, that’s the end of my professional life forever. However, I’m sure if I wanted to after a year or so I could still get back into it if I’m not creative enough to fill my time in retirement.

 

[Jkirk]

Are there hobbies you would like to spend time on, in which you haven't had time to do?

Not really…. Work, education, and family have always consumed my time. I really do need to find some hobbies!

 

[target2019]

I retired from the military in 2020 at age 42 when my pension reached the point of supporting our lifestyle. We also have enough in savings and retirement accounts to provide a nice safety net and lifestyle upgrade when our youngest kids are grown and my wife and I are 55. Kids’ college is also funded.

I lasted 3 months in retirement, got terribly bored (depressed if I’m being honest) and went back to work. I have a dilemma. I need the challenges, structure, and team environment that work offers, but my tolerance for BS is extremely low now that I don’t need the money that a job brings.

A year in to that first post-retirement job, I grew tired of things and changed jobs. Now almost a year into my second post-retirement job, I’m growing tired of things and thinking about quitting. Seeing a pattern, I’ve found the problem and he is me.

I planned for early retirement for 20 years and found that it wasn’t all that I imagined it would be. Anyone else experience something like this?

The job I’m doing now is fairly low stress and the money is good, I think that’s why I have a hard time leaving. I’ve thought about the self employed option. My wife has a small business. She likes the work part of that business, but isn’t too interested in the management/financial side. I do have the option of running the business side of it for her. Thanks!

"My tolerance for BS" was also always extremely low, and I quit a defense contractor job (no military experience) after 5 years. That was in 1980, so the environment was very different than today. At the ned of my career I worked at mega-defense-contractor for 7-8 years, and then small-defense-contractor for 5 years. So I met many ex-service, especially in the last two jobs.

Some stayed in contracting, others found jobs as DoD expanded. I suppose it depends on your goals, what you think is best for your family.

Many defense jobs require a lot of travel, plenty of meetings, and a healthy dose of BS. In larger entities there is more organization. In smaller companies you get the BS, but there was more freedom, at least for me.

My guess is that you'll have a difficult time finding the same type of team environment that got you through 20 years. I'm sure you saw the mission then, but I can tell you from experience that it is difficult to find that feeling anywhere that I've experienced.

The right boss makes a big difference. So focus on picking a boss, rather than letting things work the other way. Maybe you're the pick, meaning go with self-employment? You seem to want that challenge.

 

[Bigdawg]

Not really…. Work, education, and family have always consumed my time. I really do need to find some hobbies!

Most military types are at least somewhat athletic. Ever thought of officiating sports? I Began umpiring baseball just prior to my military retirement. I picked up volleyball a year or 2 later. I have been an athlete my whole life and this is a rewarding way to give back. Most if not all leagues are short officials.

 

[HawkeyeNFO]

Retired from USN at 44, and lasted a few months before I had to go back to work (DoD contractor) at 45. Needed more money in order to build a new house. But now 4 years later, the BS bucket is pretty full, and I'm tired of cubicle life. More importantly, I no longer need the extra money. Job itself is pretty easy, low stress, good people, and good money, but there's still more BS than I need to put up with (Yup, working at the Pentagon).

In a few months, I'll start a "sabattical."

 

[38Chevy454]

I second the idea that part-time would seem to be a good fit for you, if you can find that job. Part-time is how I ended my career while still working at my same job. Really worked out nice for me, I even structured it to be most weeks Tue-Wed-Thur and had 4 day weekends. Your case is different, but you can search for a part-time position.

I also did go back to a total stress free part-time job for about 7 months after retired for about 18 months. That job was working at a local auto parts store, which was completely different than my career as an engineer, but had some interest for me as my hobby is old cars. I was only working the job two (sometimes three filling in extra) 8-hour days for a little structure, something to do and get out of the house interacting with people some. Ultimately that was enough after 7 months and I quit when DW and I went south snowbirding. Upon return it was covid shutdowns and never went back. No more work for me now, I don't need the structure or interactions. Being retired does take a little time to adjust and figure out what your days and weeks will spend time on.

I still have a small home based side business that I have had for 14 years now. Also related to my old car hobby, so it is not really like work. It is very part-time and does not interfere with my normal everyday activities. I guess that still is technically some work, but I mostly do the business as a tax benefit as opposed to the actual profit.

 

[Aerides]

Seeing a pattern, I’ve found the problem and he is me.

That is some good self-awareness you have there. Maybe consider a stint with a therapist to help you determine a better path? You seem to need structure that most ER lives avoid, but you can certainly find it without a boss/job.

 

[pacergal]

If you don't need the money, create daily structure in your retirement life.
Take classes at a local community college, volunteer somewhere of interest, become a Big Brother or child advocate.
Make a list of things to do every day and cross them off so you have a sense of accomplishment.
Read Ernie Zelinksi book "How to Retire Happy, Wild, and Free" and complete his Tree of Life exercise.

There are many here who were worried about "what to do all day", a few weeks/months of retirement and it becomes "when did I ever find time to work?"

Get busy living or get busy dying.
Enjoy Life, Retirement is Grand!

 

[Sojourner]

Most military types are at least somewhat athletic. Ever thought of officiating sports? I Began umpiring baseball just prior to my military retirement. I picked up volleyball a year or 2 later. I have been an athlete my whole life and this is a rewarding way to give back. Most if not all leagues are short officials.

This is a great idea. Sports-league officiating/umpiring would provide some structure, mental stimulation, and broaden one's social horizons. I just may look into this for myself! Thanks, bigdawg.