Thanks for all the varied responses.
To clarify, I've always had friends that are older than me and it's because I like them (the ones I know tend to be more relaxed and I usually have more in common with them). I've also always had an "alternative" schedule during my entire career, and so know many people within that lifestyle already. My main interest is finding people in their 40s who are retired with similar financial values (I am not very materialistic) and are well traveled/educated about different cultures/lifestyles.
I appreciate the feedback about how you've all responded to others when asked about what you do. I now say I work p/t. Since I'm athletic, I fell into personal training after retiring from corporate. People move on faster with that than if I say I'm retired. I just don't wanna talk about stuff I don't wanna talk about.
My transition from work to retirement was minimal. By the time I was in my mid-30s, I was already only consulting 25 hours/week. In my 40s, I cut down to 10 hours/wk. After six months of doing nothing, I started personal training 10 hours/week, but now it's down to 0-5 hours/week since I pick and choose when/who I want to work with.
So everything has been relatively smooth. I've been seeing headlines lately of a trend in the younger generation in America, who'd rather live on less, save less for the future=work less, and enjoy life more in the here and now. I relate to that.
Glad to see someone who took a similar glide path toward ER as I did. After 16 years of working FT, I reduced my weekly hours worked from 37.5 to 20 in 2001, when I was 38, some of that working from home until they ended that nice arrangement after 2 years. Six years later (in 2007), I reduced my weekly hours worked to 12, as I knew I would probably ER by the end of 2008. In 2008, I did ER, at 45.
For me, the biggest changes to my everyday life came not when I ERed, but when I first switched to working PT in 2001. I added some volunteer work and resurrected a hobby I hadn't done since the late 1980s. When I ERed, I was able to expand on those two activities, something I liked being able to do, but it wasn't nearly as big as being able to do them in 2001.
As for what I said to people when I ERed, I told them simply that I retired. My short answer, if they persisted, was "No kids, no debts." Sometimes, I'd throw in the large, undisclosed amount of money I got when I cashed out my company stock. The people in my 2 expanded activities were just glad I could keep being with them. One of them included retired people but they were all in their late 60s, 70s, and beyond.
Unlike you, I am still pretty much a loner, so I don't seek out other early retirees. My best friend is like me, in his late 50s and with a portfolio about as big as mine (nearly $2M). I have been trying to get him to retire, but he isn't mentally suited for it yet ("What would I do all day?") My ladyfriend is my age but still works, as she hasn't nearly enough money to retire (paycheck-to-paycheck).