Hi -
I wanted to start a new post on this to vent, , although I've seen the theme repeated in old posts here numerous times.
I work in high finance, and for the most part the corporate culture is young. Most of us are 20 somethings and 30 somethings. There are 'older' folks as well, but we grunts make up the entire base and mid-section of the pyramid here.
I like what I do for the most part. I get to deal with theory, practical application, analysis, projects, clients, travel, etc. For the most part, it is a 'good job' if there is such a thing. I like my boss; he is uber-smart, challenges me at work AND outside of work (marathons, triathlons, learning, etc.), and he is all around good guy and family man.
My issue rests with the 'others' as a consensus. Most people who I work with are single. Some are dating, some are not. Regardless of what their status is, all they want to do is spend, spend, spend! Which is fine, as it's their life. But, it is expected of me to tag along, go with the 'corporate culture' and not be the weirdo in the office. This is my struggle...
It means drinking at the bars at night, regularly, baseball games a few DAYS each week (depends on workload), buying designer clothes, who is dating who, making Starbucks runs daily, where are you going on vacation this year (think wine country or International travel), why aren't you coming to lunch with us to the new cafe that charges $20.00 a plate, which neighborhood of the city do you live in - AND - how nice is your apartment (meaning, how much do you pay each month for rent), do you have a car - if so, then is it a luxury car or a sports car, ad infinitum, ad nauseam.
Those are all very nice things. I'd enjoy many of those things on that list, however, I have different goals than everyone else and they are fundamentally incompatible with the culture of the young and single crowd. I show up, I do a good job, I will go to an event with the group here or there not to seem like a complete psycho, but I pretty much do my own thing. Then when others find out that I am currently single, then they are flabbergasted that I am not going out with them and partying and hitting on anything that walks or hooking up with the asian girl that works on another desk and has been eyeing me for quite some time - I must be a real creep.
I keep mum on many of these things. Basically, it boils down to:
1 - I want to retire early, hence why I don't run with you guys everywhere; NEWSFLASH - I save and invest well over 80% of gross; I want freedom one day. Freedom to pursue my life as I see fit, without the shackles of a boss, a desk, colleagues, etc.
2 - I haven't met the right girl yet. I can care less about the arm-candy that the men AND women in the office want as that normally boils down to high maintenance (think lot's of spending). It's tough to find someone like-minded within the industry that I work in, and the grueling hours aren't conducive to meeting others outside of work easily.
Now, I honestly don't mind what others think of me as a result of this. If I did, then I would have royally screwed up my life years ago , but, that's not to say that it's not a struggle many days.
I could be mistaken as I am young and have only been in the 'real world' for barely 2 years so far, but I think some of this is unique to my 'job,' but I am sure it's common in many jobs. I work in a major U.S. city and I work in high finance. Those two components alone deduce to frivolous high spending for most - the older folks who have families do their own things, but if you are young and single, oh my freaking God, what is psychologically wrong with you?!?!
I live in a less quality area (to them) called the suburbs as it is far cheaper (to me), but also, I don't mind the suburbs. Anyway, I am the only 'young' person at my firm who lives in the 'burbs and I catch flak for it, especially from the girls that I work with who think I'm cute. People think I'm secretly married or have a kid at home with me. Why else would he live in the suburbs and not want to always socialize with us?
I don't take extravagent vacations. Some people have questioned me on this. Do I have any plans for vacation? Anything exciting that happens in my life?
I don't frequent bars and clubs with covers (in some cases as high as $20.00 just to get in), and then pay $10.00 for a drink like they do. Starbucks isn't bad coffee, but neither is the coffee from our *FREE* coffee machine in the kitchens. I have a car; an older model which is fuel efficient. I have 'nice' clothes, but I can care less about Chanel, Gucci, Prada, etc.
Has anyone here struggled with things similar to this? Perhaps not as extremely, but I'm sure you had some struggles. I know a simple solution would be to quit, but, I like what I do, I have exit options (if need be) by building up my resume with great experience very early on, and most importantly, I get paid well for the time being. I'm trying to capitalize on this as much as I can as I know it won't be forever. But it's tough. I don't think about caving in, but I struggle with keeping my sanity around others and how many BS lines can I feed people; how many times can I try to skirt the conversation or how many more times can I portray myself as 'lame' to others in the office by not being 'cool enough' to drink the kool-aid with them.
I'm very focused on the light which is at the end of the tunnel - FIRE. Freedom! But my biggest challenge is dealing with the aforementioned items in my quest to FIRE one day.
I wanted to start a new post on this to vent, , although I've seen the theme repeated in old posts here numerous times.
I work in high finance, and for the most part the corporate culture is young. Most of us are 20 somethings and 30 somethings. There are 'older' folks as well, but we grunts make up the entire base and mid-section of the pyramid here.
I like what I do for the most part. I get to deal with theory, practical application, analysis, projects, clients, travel, etc. For the most part, it is a 'good job' if there is such a thing. I like my boss; he is uber-smart, challenges me at work AND outside of work (marathons, triathlons, learning, etc.), and he is all around good guy and family man.
My issue rests with the 'others' as a consensus. Most people who I work with are single. Some are dating, some are not. Regardless of what their status is, all they want to do is spend, spend, spend! Which is fine, as it's their life. But, it is expected of me to tag along, go with the 'corporate culture' and not be the weirdo in the office. This is my struggle...
It means drinking at the bars at night, regularly, baseball games a few DAYS each week (depends on workload), buying designer clothes, who is dating who, making Starbucks runs daily, where are you going on vacation this year (think wine country or International travel), why aren't you coming to lunch with us to the new cafe that charges $20.00 a plate, which neighborhood of the city do you live in - AND - how nice is your apartment (meaning, how much do you pay each month for rent), do you have a car - if so, then is it a luxury car or a sports car, ad infinitum, ad nauseam.
Those are all very nice things. I'd enjoy many of those things on that list, however, I have different goals than everyone else and they are fundamentally incompatible with the culture of the young and single crowd. I show up, I do a good job, I will go to an event with the group here or there not to seem like a complete psycho, but I pretty much do my own thing. Then when others find out that I am currently single, then they are flabbergasted that I am not going out with them and partying and hitting on anything that walks or hooking up with the asian girl that works on another desk and has been eyeing me for quite some time - I must be a real creep.
I keep mum on many of these things. Basically, it boils down to:
1 - I want to retire early, hence why I don't run with you guys everywhere; NEWSFLASH - I save and invest well over 80% of gross; I want freedom one day. Freedom to pursue my life as I see fit, without the shackles of a boss, a desk, colleagues, etc.
2 - I haven't met the right girl yet. I can care less about the arm-candy that the men AND women in the office want as that normally boils down to high maintenance (think lot's of spending). It's tough to find someone like-minded within the industry that I work in, and the grueling hours aren't conducive to meeting others outside of work easily.
Now, I honestly don't mind what others think of me as a result of this. If I did, then I would have royally screwed up my life years ago , but, that's not to say that it's not a struggle many days.
I could be mistaken as I am young and have only been in the 'real world' for barely 2 years so far, but I think some of this is unique to my 'job,' but I am sure it's common in many jobs. I work in a major U.S. city and I work in high finance. Those two components alone deduce to frivolous high spending for most - the older folks who have families do their own things, but if you are young and single, oh my freaking God, what is psychologically wrong with you?!?!
I live in a less quality area (to them) called the suburbs as it is far cheaper (to me), but also, I don't mind the suburbs. Anyway, I am the only 'young' person at my firm who lives in the 'burbs and I catch flak for it, especially from the girls that I work with who think I'm cute. People think I'm secretly married or have a kid at home with me. Why else would he live in the suburbs and not want to always socialize with us?
I don't take extravagent vacations. Some people have questioned me on this. Do I have any plans for vacation? Anything exciting that happens in my life?
I don't frequent bars and clubs with covers (in some cases as high as $20.00 just to get in), and then pay $10.00 for a drink like they do. Starbucks isn't bad coffee, but neither is the coffee from our *FREE* coffee machine in the kitchens. I have a car; an older model which is fuel efficient. I have 'nice' clothes, but I can care less about Chanel, Gucci, Prada, etc.
Has anyone here struggled with things similar to this? Perhaps not as extremely, but I'm sure you had some struggles. I know a simple solution would be to quit, but, I like what I do, I have exit options (if need be) by building up my resume with great experience very early on, and most importantly, I get paid well for the time being. I'm trying to capitalize on this as much as I can as I know it won't be forever. But it's tough. I don't think about caving in, but I struggle with keeping my sanity around others and how many BS lines can I feed people; how many times can I try to skirt the conversation or how many more times can I portray myself as 'lame' to others in the office by not being 'cool enough' to drink the kool-aid with them.
I'm very focused on the light which is at the end of the tunnel - FIRE. Freedom! But my biggest challenge is dealing with the aforementioned items in my quest to FIRE one day.