Have you ever felt humiliated for looking "poor"?

[SecondCor521]

Now that's a good way to avoid that kind of embarrassment. Associate with people "less than you". Hang out with people less well off (and you feel like Bill Gates), hang out with people less attractive than you (and you feel like a supermodel), hang out with people less intelligent (and you feel like the next Nobel Price winner). I am not kidding, studies have shown it works and that some people subconsciously are attracted to "lesser" people in order to boost their self-esteem. It reminds me of this editorial piece suggesting that women would be happier if they married unattractive men. Settle for less and that way you don't have to worry about them cheating on you...

OK, my turn at YouTube. It goes the other way too.

2Cor521

 

[Notmuchlonger]

Now that's a good way to avoid that kind of embarrassment. Associate with people "less than you". Hang out with people less well off (and you feel like Bill Gates), hang out with people less attractive than you (and you feel like a supermodel), hang out with people less intelligent (and you feel like the next Nobel Price winner). I am not kidding, studies have shown it works and that some people subconsciously are attracted to "lesser" people in order to boost their self-esteem. It reminds me of this editorial piece suggesting that women would be happier if they married unattractive men. Settle for less and that way you don't have to worry about them cheating on you...

Glad you got me figured out. Hell I dont think that deep about it. The way I was raised you are what you are. Not what people around you see you as. Then again Im not you so I cant relate..sorry.

 

[FIREd]

Glad you got me figured out. Hell I dont think that deep about it. The way I was raised you are what you are. Not what people around you see you as. Then again Im not you so I cant relate..sorry.

It was a joke dude, I wasn't trying to figure you out! I know nothing about you (except that I like your avatar), how could I? I Guess I should have used more . Just a joke... I didn't mean to upset you. Sorry... By now I thought people had figured I have a pretty dry sense of humor. Don't mean no harm, just trying to have fun...

 

[Notmuchlonger]

It was a joke dude, I wasn't trying to figure you out! I know nothing about you (except that I like your avatar), how could I? I Guess I should have used more . Just a joke... I didn't mean to upset you. Sorry... By now I thought people had figured I have a pretty dry sense of humor. Don't mean no harm, just trying to have fun...

Its alright. I laughed too. Except I got lazy and didnt use the laughing icons either. And frankly I feel cheated I cant access the rolling laughing icon guy under the more section. Really thats what I am most upset about. It is digging in me like a thorn...

 

[LOL!]

Nope. I went to Lexus dealer dressed in a dirty T-shirt with holes, old sandals, raggedy cut-off shorts and an old beater Toyota with 2 ragamuffin kids in the back. They treated me like royalty.A

 

[barbarus]

Even in the best clothes, I'll never look good.


Notice how many posts here have mentioned Die Polizei?
They are the only ones I worry about.

 

[redduck]

Well, the humiliation wasn't for looking poor, it was just for chatting with someone quite wealthy (I guess). I was in a Mrs. Gooch's (now Whole Foods). Anyhow, this nicely dressed woman and I were both buying roasted chickens (2 each). We were saying how good the chickens were with my adding, "I come in here twice a week to buy these chickens. I just love them--one of my favorite foods." She said she came in twice a week to buy the chickens--but that she never ate them, she fed them to her dog who seemed to enjoy them for a snack. You know, I just didn't feel all that good after hearing that.

 

[Bestwifeever]

Well, the humiliation wasn't for looking poor, it was just for chatting with someone quite wealthy (I guess). I was in a Mrs. Gooch's (now Whole Foods). Anyhow, this nicely dressed woman and I were both buying roasted chickens (2 each). We were saying how good the chickens were with my adding, "I come in here twice a week to buy these chickens. I just love them--one of my favorite foods." She said she came in twice a week to buy the chickens--but that she never ate them, she fed them to her dog who seemed to enjoy them for a snack. You know, I just didn't feel all that good after hearing that.

That story is hysterical! You should have barked at her or something.

 

[SteveR]

I think I would have said "we feed them to our servants".

 

[redduck]

I don't recall saying anything--I think I was just stunned. (You ever feel real small)? Anyhow, I guess I could have asked her if she needed another pet. You know, then I wouldn't have to be buying those rather expensive Mrs. Gooch chickens for myself. Funny thing was, I don't think she realized what she was saying or the impact that it really could have had. She was pleasant and was just making conversation. Eleanor Roosevelt might have met her match with this one.

Bestwifeever, I just realized what you said, if I barked, she might have thrown me a thigh.

 

[laurence]

Interesting thread. I have never felt that way, and we definitely LBYM. But at the same time, we are upper middle class income ( ~$150k) living a modest ~80k life, so perhaps we just fit snugly into middle class. I also wonder about subtle cues. I'm a white male, 6 feet 2 inches, wears glasses, work gives me a blackberry which I have on all the time, and my frumpy clothes are the same as my work clothes, business casual. So I just look like every other salary man looking to get my next monthly payment...

 

[packrat44]

People with low self-esteem feel they have to wear their money on the outside like armor to shield themselves so as not to be judged inferior by others.

 

[CyclingInvestor]

Notice how many posts here have mentioned Die Polizei?
They are the only ones I worry about.

That brings back memories. Long ago (still in LA) my bike became disabled
near the 10 & 405 freeways at night, and I carried it about 14 miles to my apt
in Manhattan Beach, arriving around 4am. No safety issues the last 5 miles or so,
because a cop car followed me (at my walking speed) for over an hour without
saying anything - just trailing me until I went in my apt. I was wearing my
everpresent sandals, shorts, and tshirt.

 

[old woman]

I am thinking of moving to a small town with a very low average wage. I can afford a home in the top 5% there but I am afraid I wouldn't be accepted by the locals. I will probably look for something nice enough but not so nice it makes others not feel at home if they come to visit.
My neighbors here seem to think I am poor, I tell them I am not poor but they give me money every summer for water for the community garden. I tell them I don't need to get it but it makes then feel better about using my water.
There isn't a good way to tell what your neighbors income is, one told me she is low income but I wouldn't have guessed. She has a house and a condo but doesn't drive and is getting old, she keeps the house for her little dog and when the dog dies she will move to the condo. She pickups up litter, works in the community garden and takes the bus to the condo for lunch, her home and yard are perfect she doesn't seem to have any needs so her income must be enough.

 

[ladelfina]

a cop car followed me

Yeah.. this happened to BIL in LA. A Manhattanite with no DL, he walked everywhere and thus got stopped by the cops for his suspicious behavior - walking.

I feel mildly embarrassed when I deal with workers or delivery people here and they are dressed better than I am. In Italy (at least in our small town) there are unwritten dress codes that are a kind of uniform. All 20 y.o.s / 50 y.o.s tend to dress a certain way. "Working" men wear overalls; "working" ladies wear housecoats. Or either may wear smocks. Their "regular" clothes may be modest, but they usually go to pains to keep them clean, ironed, stain- and rip-free.

Sometimes I worry that my worn-and-stained-yet-care-free appearance borders on a lack of self-respect. [I do change into something neater when going out.] But I think I get much less respect from workers since I don't fit into their class-based expectations. They're not real democratic here.. there's a lot of unwarranted respect for those who appear to be "better". Put on a suit and tie and you become "dottore" so&so instead of "mister" so&so in some ambients.. a holdover from feudalism.

 

[brewer12345]

Nope, never felt humiliated. Annoyed once in a while, maybe.

Part of this depends on who is around you, I guess. I live in a neighborhood with a really wide range of people in it. My immediate neighbors include a construction worker who is a firehouse captain at a local volunteer company, a couple who are a janitor at a nearby school and a foreman at the water plant, and an elderly retired couple. Of course, elsewhere in the hood are our wealthy semi-retired friends, a couple of actuaries, and an investment banker (who is really a blue collar guy at heart, but still). But if we lived a couple of towns over, my battered station wagon with a cracked windshield and a missing hubcap would undoubtedly attract the attention of la policia and the neighbors.

Part of it is also what is in your head. Dad is a blue collar guy with a GED who made good as an entrepreneur. But since he always drove big, older Detroit metal and came home dressed in overalls, etc., I grew up not thinking about or worrying about status. I suppose for that reason I do not fell entirely comfy in expensive areas, high end hotels, etc. (restaurants an exception): its not my bag and I don't belong in these places.

 

[Khan]

Are you kidding? It happens to me all the time! Sometimes I even help them! But I don't find that particularly embarrassing...

That happens to me too.

 

[Walt34]

I enjoyed it actually, especially with the '85 Chevy pickup truck that is now a family legend. Bought it new and kept it for 18 years, only selling it because parts were getting hard to find. The paint was peeled, surface rust on the cab, roof, and sides, it looked like something from a Jeff Foxworthy picture joke. But everything worked.

But it sure made it easier to get large packages home, including a living room couch on sale one time. I had a good photo but can't find it now.

One BIL still has his '72 Ford F-150.

 

[happy2bretired]

Intellectually I know it shouldn't bother me. But I am human, and being made fun of or looked down on by people is never a pleasant experience. Maybe it's my ego getting in the way of my intellect (and I'll be the first to recognize that I have an ego), I don't know.

Good ol' ego....yep...

I know it's probably appears that Oprah's bookclub books get over hyped, but, A New Earth Awakening to Your Life's Purpose by Eckhart Tolle hits this ego thing right on it's head. Very eye opening book that, I think, would fit right in with this crowd's LBYM lifestyle.

 

[calmloki]

One of the best things about my college is that this country boy learned there are lots of people smarter than me. Also lots with more money. Lots who are more skilled in any endeavor. But Damn i'm pretty! (nods to C. clay).
Nah, i've felt outclassed and underdressed, car-ed, and homed. Mostly when i was. And so what - never met anyone whose opinion i valued who would have given any sign of feeling superior or who would have thought of denigrating me. So i'm the one with the problem, and must review whether my style or lack of style needs an upgrade. Nobility impresses me and is found in many economic strata.

 

[HFWR]

I enjoyed it actually, especially with the '85 Chevy pickup truck that is now a family legend. Bought it new and kept it for 18 years, only selling it because parts were getting hard to find. The paint was peeled, surface rust on the cab, roof, and sides, it looked like something from a Jeff Foxworthy picture joke. But everything worked.

But it sure made it easier to get large packages home, including a living room couch on sale one time. I had a good photo but can't find it now.

One BIL still has his '72 Ford F-150.

I had a 1964 Chevy p/u with a primered door.

Oh, wait a minute, I actually was poor then...

 

[rs0460a]

I enjoyed it actually, especially with the '85 Chevy pickup truck that is now a family legend. Bought it new and kept it for 18 years, only selling it because parts were getting hard to find. The paint was peeled, surface rust on the cab, roof, and sides, it looked like something from a Jeff Foxworthy picture joke. But everything worked.

But it sure made it easier to get large packages home, including a living room couch on sale one time. I had a good photo but can't find it now.

One BIL still has his '72 Ford F-150.

I understand completely. I'm retired (fortunately) and have two cars (fortunately!). My last car was an '89 Olds Ciera which I bought new, and ran for 18+ years with 120K+ (not bad for "American made" ).

Today (in retirement) I have an '02 Mustang GT vert (my picture, which I bought new) along with a Cadillac SRX.

Not that I'm trying to impress anybody (what you think of me is none of my business ). However, I'm at the age that I feel not that I "earned" anything, but I've given up a lot along the way to become financially independent. Now it's time to have some "fun" (yes, I am! )...

- Ron

 

[TromboneAl]

I edited my post to remove the part about the plasma TV, because on second thought I think I had it delivered. I was confusing that with the lawn furniture, or with something else, I suppose.

Was there sniper fire?

 

[rs0460a]

Was there sniper fire?

Memories ...

 

[TromboneAl]

DW was telling a friend how we often drive at 55 MPH to get better gas mileage. Friend replied "Are you hard up for cash?" DW says she wasn't embarrassed, just annoyed that the friend didn't "get it" (that is, didn't understand LBYM).